Granted. But your dreams of a faithless society gains such a following that it becomes a religion itself, inspiring greed, division, violence and murder. After a time, you realise that it wasn't exactly a well thought out scheme. you spend the rest of your days in Hell, having tea with Neville Chamberlain and Hitler

I wish I could solve the Earth's energy problems by inventing the break-windmill

mtfbwya

Granted, but the stench starts killing people.

I wish I had a loaf of bread that was also a toaster.

Granted, but you burn your fingers as you must hold the bread while toasting.....and it takes 3 hours to toast...and they burn so much they're apart of your hands....and you're in the middle of a desert....with no water.....


I wish I could create a chemical that would make deserts lush and green!

Granted, but every power on earth starts fighting for you and exclusive rights to your chemical, resulting in world war 3.

I wish i had force persuasion/mind trick powers.

Granted, but your mind is weaker than your friends, and you hypnotize yourself into an awkard situation.

I wish I had an army of genius styrofoam hat-wearing monkeys, that swim in puddles of gray matter chocolate, that causes nuclear fallout.

Granted, but they accidentally irradiate themselves.

I wish for a gun that electrifies the bullets as they're fired.

Granted, but it also 'Mystifys' the bullets , turning them into a crap windows screensaver.

I wish I could train a sea-racehorse and win the Kentucky Derby

mtfbwya

^Granted, but it suffocates seconds after victory.

I wish my Electro-galvanic Hyperbaric Ether Rifle would work.

Granted, it does, but you are soon electrocuted by the galvanic Ether that had gone into the air after your first test....and you explode.

I wish I had the ability to use the weather as a weapon...you know, summon a lighting strike or something...

Granted, but you have bad aim and electrocute yourself.

I wish I could use Force Lightning.

Granted, but you try doing it from the pool and you soon discover that electricity is attracted to water...and whatever is in the water...

I wish I had the abilty of force speed.

Granted. But you use it while your running along a cliff and run right off

I wish I could talk to my computer and it would listen

Granted. But its ears are full of wax, and it hears things incorrectly. When you say "computer, start firefox now" it thinks you said "computer, kick my nuts now" It does so, and you cannot procreate henceforth.

I wish ninja stars were massive balls of hydrogen, the size of the sun, which you could throw at people in cheap martial arts movies

mtfbwya

Granted, but they destroy the solar system.

I wish a point of view gun.

Granted, but it only works on you; you go between 1st and 3rd person view.

I wish that people knew that kilts are only skirts if you wear underwear with them...

Granted, but now men wear skirts and no underwear, claiming it's a kilt.

I wish for a ship with an Infinite Improbability Drive.

Granted, but the chances of it working are Improbable.

I wish that I could invent some sort of flying bicycle.

Granted. It flies after getting fired out of a cannon.

I wish Murray Gold would compose the music for Star Wars: The Old Republic.

Granted. but the game producers refuse to accept it.

I wish i had control of your TARDIS and you so you could pull off my evil deeds

Granted. But due to transmat meta interference, all you can pull of are little flecks of lint from your belly button.

I wish I had the power to summon Shifa, destroyer of frogs.

mtfbwya

Granted, but you are a frog.

I wish I had the ability to swim underwater for hours at a time.

Granted. But you forget and stay underwater for a few days

I wish I could watch bacon fry all day

Granted, but the smoke and heat rising from the bacon makes you hungry to the point of insanity and you become a cannibal.

I wish I had lots of bacon at home.

Granted. Bit you get buried in raw bacon and you suffocate.

I wish I could fire lasers out of my arms

Granted. But your arm scorchmarks bring you to the attention of Francois, The French Firefighter en Francais, France.

I wish I could flap my arms using large contraptions called flaps to make them flap

mtfbwya

Granted, you flap continuosly and to no avail, only achieving extreme embarrasment and sore arms...

I wish I could create a tank that could fly in the sky, go underwater, and roll on land.

Granted. But it is made out of hemp, and can only get high as a kite, drink bongwater and roll around on the floor giggling

I wish I could invent a special harness so I could ride my parakeet, "Rodriguez" to work

mtfbwya

Granted, but your parakeet doesn't want to go to your work and he instead drops you from thousands of feet in the air above parakeet land.

I wish I had a parakeet that I could hold a conversation with.

Granted. But the longer you hold the conversation, your arms tire, and later catch fire.

I wish I could deploy a monkey and a brontosaurus to breach the laser fortified banana and herbivorous foodstuffs palace

mtfbwya

Granted, but the monkey becomes enamored with the banana fortress and is pummeled by crackerjack defenses.

I wish I had a fortress of metal and bananas.

Granted. But you become entrapped within, and die of banana overdose.

I wish there was a method by which to extract actual water from the ocean

mtfbwya

Granted, but it's salt water.

I wish for a gun that fired electrified bullets.

Granted, but this gun is water-cooled, and well...you know how water and electricity mix, especially if you're holding the gun...

I wish I had a mega-tank at my disposal.

Granted, but it's Mega-AI deems you a threat.

I wish the Mega-AI deemed me a friend.

Granted, but in order to protect you, it decides to destroy youto protect you from destroying yourself.

I wish I had an AI friend who acted human.

^ granted, but it learned the human emotion called anger and couldnt control it, so it beat you to a pulp.

I wish i had a Myna

Granted, but you don't know what to do with it.

I wish CommanderQ knew the actual Three Laws of Robotics.

Granted. But he adds a Fourth Law of Robotics: Forget The First Three Laws of Robotics

I wish I could stuff an Army of Ancient Grecians inside a live, well lubricated horse, and send it to TRON instead of TROY

mtfbwya

Granted, but you're forgetting that TRON is an individual program, not a computer.

I wish for digitisation like in TRON and TRON 2.0 to be possible.

Granted, but soon, the matrix is created, and everyone is quickly integrated by the evil AI as it seeks to eliminate us all....and we blame you.

I wish I had an awesome digital gun from Tron.

Granted, but the instructions are in analogue.

I wish I were crowned King of England.

Granted, but you're quickly forced to abdicate when no genetic relation to the royal family is found.

I wish for a better paying job.

Granted, but when you get it, the economy fails and you find yourself unemployed once again.

I wish I were Kaiser of my very own Empire with the best military in the world.

Granted, but everything else in your empire is utter fail.

I wish to legally change my real name to "The Doctor"

Granted, but once it's legal, you no longer want to.

I wish I were Immortal.

Granted, but after outliving everyone you care about, you desperately want to die, but cannot no matter how hard you try.

I wish for Easter to get here sooner so I can watch the next Doctor Who special.

Granted, you wait for a long time with great patience, but Doctor Who is canceled right on Easter, and you'll never see the Doc Who special....ever.

I wish I was multi-millionaire movie producer who made the best films in the world!

Granted. But people suspect you of doing drugs and they stop watching your films driving you into the poor house

I wish I could chase monkeys all day while singing the numa Numa song

Granted, but you never catch the monkeys.

I wish NaruHina would asplode.

granted, but then chevron kills you. slowly.

i *so* wish my pc's manufacturer gave me a windows xp cd like they should have.