Granted, they gave you the CD, but no computer.

I wish I had an anti-annoyance gun...so I can survive the endless hordes of annoyingness that flood the Earth:D

Granted, but it comes too late.

I wish I could decide on a song to sing in Quest for the Best this year.

Granted. The song you decide on is 'Doctorin The Tardis' by KLF

I wish I could find a name for this shape Ive discovered : it has three sides, looks triangular and even resembles the triangle from a snooker yet. What's a good name for it, Michael, Terence?

mtfbwya

Granted. but the name you choose is copyrighted and mobsters end up burying you for violating the copyright.

I wish I could eat CQ's boots of justice

Granted, but he sues you for 1 billion dollars and wins. OOHHH BURNED!!!!!:D

I wish I could create a teleportation device so I could stage massive assualts, robberies, invasions, and then sell it to the public and make myself a tourist attraction.

Granted. but you accidently teleport yourself to prison*

I wish I could summon the the powah of the Nine-tailed fox and destroy everything Dalek

Granted, but you cannot control the Nine-tail fox and eats you from inside and all the Daleks flee in terror.

I wish I had a real Samurai Katana from which I will practice martial art's katas.

Granted, but you aren't as good as you like think and you drop it, causing it to sever your foot.

I wish banana trees would grow in the wild here.

Granted, but your part of the wild becomes overrun with monkeys, who quickly become smarter due to the amazing banana's that are in your area. And the monkeys quickly plan an invasion of your home.

I wish I could climb a palm tree and use it as a command post.

Granted, but some fool with an automatic grenade launcher decides that you look a lot like target practice. Ever seen when someone steps on a grape?

I wish my .22 rifle didn't jam every 15 shots. And, I just realized I'm really going to regret that one.

Granted, you are feeling a great regret, for now it jams after every shot. And it backfires. And the barrel bursted after 15 rounds. And it is nearly impossible to clean...and...


I wish that I had an MP-40 submachine gun that would not have the rising effect as I shoot an entire magazine....so that way I don't miss.

Granted. It nows jams every 1.5 shots

I wish I could engineer a rifle that fires white goo

mtfbwya

Granted, this white goo, however, is a dangerous bio-chemical, and you aren't wearing a bio-chem suit, so when the white goo flies out, you are immediatley and affected and blow up like a balloon and fly in the air.

I wish I could use lava as an energy source.

Granted.

I wish I could wake up rich tomorrow.

Granted, but it's because you robbed a bank tonight, and now the FBI is breaking down your door.

I wish I were apart of the CIA.

Granted. You're the janitor.

I wish I worked for CSIS.

Yep, you do, the Custodial Septer of Illionois Suckers....no offence to those of that state.

I wish I had an awesome fraze-maker!

Granted, but since you misspelled phrase, you learn the horrifying meaning of the word fraze.

I wish it were possible to watch YouTube videos on Xbox Live.

Granted, but you can no longer play games on Xbox Live.

I wish that every wish were ruinable.

Granted, but now you have all these awesome wish ideas, which you use, and they get horribly ruined in ways you cannot possibly imagine.

I wish to find myself in this situation (http://egscomics.com/?date=2002-06-06) as either one of them.

Granted, but your situation worsens, due to the fact you said 'like this,' now, the gun will blow you up after 30 seconds have passed.

I wish I had a sword that would never break, only needed to swing once, and was as light as a feather.

Granted. But the wind catches your sword and it flies away

I wish I was in a room filled with dynamite and TNT and the only thing I had to play with was a match

Granted. You are in a room filled with dynamite and The n(Olsen) Twins. Please light match.

I wish I could play and defeat Julius Caesar in Uno.

mtfbwya

Granted, but he then listens when the Soothsayer says "Beware the Ides of March" because you became his enemy.

I wish I perfect understanding of temporal mechanics.

Granted. But your understanding only occurs in the past, and theres nothing you can do to get those day back.

I wish I could have warned the Trojans about the Greeks, and the condoms.

mtfbwya

Granted. But the greece end up ruling the world and we never advance technology.

I wish the Ninjas couldn't catch me cause I was on fire and I was in a room filled with dynamite

Granted, but you trip and fall onto...well, the room is filled with dynamite. Don't worry it didn't hurt...

I wish I had a machine gun that fired bullets that the power of a ballastic missile.

Granted. But the gun barrel jams with the first shot and you go "Boomith"

I wish I had an exploding monkey wrench

Granted, but the monkey gets angry...and explodes.

I wish the bullets for my specialized .22 cost less than forty cents each.

Granted, but they're Silly Putty bullets.

I wish for more masked vigilantes, like in Watchmen, though they do exist in real life.

Granted. but one of them kills you

I wish that I was trapped in a room filled with lit dynamite

Granted, and it explodes.

I wish I had my own set of C4 for whatever reason I wanted.

Granted. But you go nuts, stick the C4 down your pants and wait for it to explode.

I wish I had every copy of Uncle Johns bathroom reader and also that I had CQ's armor for one day so I could paint it pink

Granted. You paint it pink, and are a hit in San Francisco, along with your Uncle John in the bathroom. :eek:

I wish I could fashion 3 goats made of titanium, and re-enact The Three Billy Goats Gruff

mtfbwya

Granted. But the titanium is made of impure steel

I wish I could play poker with Mara jade and win!

Granted, but Mara Jade hates losing, and quickly after the match takes out a pistol and blows your head off.

I wish I my own army of robot soldiers like that in "Iron Man."

Granted. But they all rust in the rain

I wish CQ would give El Goonish Shive a chance by reading it

Granted, he reads the word "It," and his opinion of El Goonish Shive is unchanged.

I wish CQ would read El Goonish Shive. (The underlining means that it's a novel :p)

Granted, but the novel is too expensive, so you guys pay for it:D Hee hee hee

I wish I knew everything.

Granted. But knowing the word "everything" is not actually everything is it.

I wish I could win a forum award for my nunchuk skillz

mtfbwya

Granted, but the award's name is somewhat cruel...

I wish for a lich...

Hey, it can rhyme if you want it to!

Granted, but it gave you a serious ICH....oh! RYHMED!

I wish I were a master poet.

Granted. But no one likes a master of anything so you don't get any money or anything

I wish that I could eat the Tank In CQ's profile

Granted, but you bite a bullet.

I wish I were a better sniper in SWBF2.

Granted, but the next battle is entirely close-quarters, and your eyes haven't adjusted.

I wish I were a skilled pilot in SWBF2.

Granted, but no servers have space maps anymore.

I wish I were as good as Zigor in SWBF2.

Granted, but you feel the need to use that as a pick-up line. Needless to say, your love life suffers.

I wish I were a respectable singer.

Granted, but your refusal to get out of that damn helicopter makes you an unheard singer, so respect ends up counting for naught.

I wish I could use my mind to get things I have seen, read and heard about cows and recall them instantly and without any external devices. I shall call this ability : Moomoory.


mtfbwya

Granted, but after you finish it a man shoots you twice in the back and you get amnesia.

I wish I didn't have to deal with lightmaps in kotor.

Granted. Play KOTOR in Vista without applying the ms32.dll workaround

I wish there were a time that preceded us called the past, which could only be recounted to us by a studious seahorse.

mtfbwya