Granted, but it's famous for being terrible.
I wish I were a sexy superhero known for using sexiness to stop sex crimes. Did I mention sex?
Granted, but you eventually catch a dangerous disease after an especially wierd crime, and yes, sex was mentioned, it is your kryptonite, BWAHAHAHAAHAH!
I wish I were a Super hero who had a billion dollar jet that could fly through space at record speed.
Granted, you are Captain Gramophone, your jet can now travel at record player speed
I wish I could devise a defensive laser system using the shiny heads of bald men.
mtfbwya
Granted, but the sheer brightness from the bald men renders you blind.
I wish I could create a food that regenerates itself, therefore handling food problems in the world.
Granted, but it regenerates in people's stomachs, thereby causing EXTREME constipation.
I wish that everyone with manga fixations had Tinkerbell fixations instead.
Granted, but now manga has Tinkerbell as a star!
I wish I were able to nuke Neverland, therefore destroying the Lost Boys and Peter Pan forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How are they lost if they know they're in Neverland?
I wish I could fix my time machine :(
Granted, but I soon...borrow it:D
I wish I could create a teleporter.
Granted. But you werent clever enough. Instead you telephoned your grandma and played her cole porter albums. same thing?
I wish the Goddess Nike would mudwrestle with Goddess Puma.
mtfbwya
Granted, but one stumbles and falls on you, the spectator, and you are crushed.
I wish that I could have an armada of tanks with unlimited fuel so I could become the richest man ever...
yes, but they are fish tanks filled with fuel. All the pretty tropical fish in them die and you become the saddest man ever
I wish I could understand why is Owl not fussed by Lesbian's overtures for power in the Andromeda Cluster of our galaxy?
mtfbwya
Because there are no lesbians in...Andromeda...therefore no need to make a galactic fuss....
I wish I had a super-duper BATMOBILE!
Granted. But you don't have the keys for it!
I wish I had a pet Zakkeg named Bob and we could go on magical adventures through time and space.
You do have such a pet, but due to a bowel problem, the only journeys it makes are to the litter tray
I wish I could use psychic abilities to solve crimes committed by rabbits
mtfbwya
Granted, but a pyschic rabbit uses it's mental ability to drive you mad...forever dooming your job.
I wish I had a mind capable of solving any problem in two seconds.
You do. But because your mind is overclocked, it takes you 12 years to say things out loud so whats the point!
I wish I could construct a time machine made of top hats and various pieces of felt
mtfbwya
Granted, but during the first test, you find out that you needed items that were not flammable, you can imagine what happened...:D
I wish I had Iron Man's awesome suit...except souped it to be better:D
Granted. But dipping it in soup short circuits it. You fail.
I wish air handgliding would become more popular than air guitar.
mtfbwya
Granted, but soon, civilization is made up of strange, air-everything, buffoons, and the world collapses on air-politics.
I wish I were a master of air-hang gliding.
Granted. But you live in an oxygen depraved enviroment, where all air related activities do not succeed.
I wish I could think of 7 reasons why a horse shouldnt take helicopter pilot lessons
mtfbwya
Granted, but all of the reasons don't make sense.
I wish I were able to come up with a formula for the best immune system in the world.
Granted, but it's purely theoretical.
I wish I was Nite Owl III.
Granted, but then you are pushed out of the way for Nite Owl IIII.
I wish I were a custom-made superhero.
Granted, but then you are put into cheap plastic wrap and shipped to the New Orleans relief fund, never to be seen again.
I wish everyone's wishes here were granted, free of any strings.
Granted, but then the thread becomes non-existant...and we have you to blame.:D
I wish my wish was un-ruinable.
Granted, but then you can no longer post in this thread. and we're all sad.
I wish that wishes would be a ruination in themselves.
Granted, but there'd be no reason to ruin them:D
I wish my wish was a wish that wished all wishes were wishable...say that five times fast...:D
Granted, but if all wishes are wishable, then all wishes are ruinable, too.
I wish that I could eat 50 Jalapenos in a row with no reduction in my general health or well being.
Granted, but that health immunity only lasts for 50 seconds after the final jalapeno...and you feel the heat...
I wish I could drink a thousand bottles of soda and have no side effect other than a mega burp.
Granted, but the mega-burp has a side effect of a three day-long death.
I wish that these wishes would stop being so wish-oriented.
Granted, but the master of wishing didn't like you wishing that, so he wished that you exploded, and you did.
I wish I had the artistic eye of Picasso, the silver-tongue of Cryano Debergerac, the creative hand of Mark Twain, and a pot of coffee.
Granted, but then you're run over by several buses.
I wish that I knew where CommanderQ came up with that wish.
Granted, but now I have to kill you:D
I wish I had a squadron of old WW2 German Me262's.
Granted, but they break down and aren't worth their weight in scrap. :(
I wish I had a Venator-class Star Destroyer, fully armed and manned.
Granted, but I hit it with the Super-star Destroyer, 'Executer,' and you don't stand a chance.
I wish I had the Death Star.
Granted, but then some rugged hobos suicide bomb it.
I wish the Death Star wasn't as vulnerable as a drunk, brain-dead 17 year old girl.
Granted, but giels are far more vulnerable than girls, so now the Death Star is only as vulnerable as a drunk, brain-dead 17-year-old girl.
I wish CQ would asplode!
Granted, but I 'asplode' becuase of the bomb strapped to my chest, and I'm standing right next to you.:D
I wish Bokkenblader would asplode!!
[I don't know how I messed that up without seeing it. Good one, bokken.]
Granted, but then, while exploding, he takes your tank and woods with him.
I wish there would be no more explosions.
Granted, now there are only Nuclear Blasts, where there is a bright light, and then..nothing...heehee *presses button*
I wish I had a Nuclear dog of doom.
Granted, you have my sister. She's a nuclear female dog of doom.
I wish that Cyanide and Happiness went hand in hand.
Granted, but we'd all be dead.
I wish that cyanide did not kill you, but made you live longer.
Granted but then everything that used to help you kills you and you die...
I wish that my saber would not break while I am fencing in championship bouts...
Granted, it just bends in half, instead.
I wish my shinai wouldn't become dilapidated. Ever.
Granted, but you however, are not bound by this, and become delapidated.
I wish I were immortal.
Granted, but everything and everyone you care about is destroyed or dies, and you desperately wish you were dead yourself. You Emo.
I wish that CommanderQ was immortal.
Granted. But he turns out to be extremely gaseous, and you quickly recant this wish
I wish I could invent a machine that invents machines!
mtfbwya
Granted, but eventually, this machine developes an awareness, and wonders why it has to listen to you, and it turns against, beginning the invasion of humanity, and they make the matrix, and we all know where that goes...:D
I wish I were able dodge bullets, jump long distances, and do things that no human is capable of doing.
Granted, you are no longer human, so nobody wants anything to do with you.
I wish Battlefield Heroes would work for me.
Granted, but if it did, it would not work for the rest of us. And now we must remove the curse by removing a certain someone.....
I wish my comp was super-powerful.