Granted, if you mean 5 copies of the original Call of Duty.

I wish to invent fighting, then perfect it so that no living man can best me in the ring of honour, then use my fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, then herd them onto a boat, then beat the crap out of every single one, so that whenever a bunch of animals are together in one place, it's called a zoo, unless its a farm.

Granted, but the Heavy doesn't like you because you scratched Sasha, now he's going to kill you...without honor.

I wish I had the Heavy's Sasha.

Granted, but he kills you with Natascha for touching his gun.

I wish for a Sandvich.

Granted, but the scout hits you with a bat, and he takes the Sandvich.

I wish I had a rocket launcher.

Granted, but you gib yourself while trying to rocket jump.

I wish this forum was more active.

Granted, it's more active due to spam, and the forum is closed.

I wish I had an anti-spam gun.

Granted. You now have a gun capable of only destroying cans of SPAM.

I wish for it to be possible to play as a half-Human, half-Twi'lek on TOR.

Granted, but everyone else is playing the half dragon, half Sith, half vampire Dark Jedi who is either evil beyond redemption or can only be redeemed by being kiss by a Jedi prince with a heart of gold. Way to go man, all those Mary Sues. :disaprove

I wish I were the sexiest maple tree sapling in the world and that everyone would want to tap me. =D

Granted, but a logging company is the first to get to you.

I wish I were the best fighter in the whole world.

Granted, but noone wants to fight you.

I wish for a gun that shoots chainsaws.

Granted, but it's life-threatening to load it.

I wish I had a cannon that could shoot around the world.

Granted, but the radius of the orbit is bigger than you thought and you burn up in the atmosphere.

I wish I were a hideous monster made entirely out of the most delicious chocolate in the world so I could get all the children in the world to eat me and associate the good memories with overcoming their fears and not judging books by their covers.

Granted. You're dead afterwards.

I wish to see the planet Gallifrey.

Granted, but you'll owe me $5.

I wish I had a hot friend, maybe a special friend... :naughty:

Granted, but the friend you speak of is 'hot' as in a fever and 'special' as mentally as a mentally unstable psychopath, have fun!:D

I wish I had a very very special special friend:D

Granted, but I wont specify what way she'll be 'special' in.

I wish I were smarter.

Granted. How well do I fit the criteria?

I wish for the Eleventh Doctor's outfit to draw elements from those of the Third, Eighth, and Ninth Doctors.

Granted, all the doctors are stuck in one body, constantly bickering, there, a costume combination!

I wish I could bring a super computer 50 years ago and ultimately advance time!

Granted. You bring a supercomputer from 50 years ago to the present day and achieve nothing.

I wish for the Eleventh Doctor to face the Daleks, the Cybermen, and the Master in his tenure, despite Steven Moffat saying there won't be any classic series villains.

Granted, 11 faces these villains, and dies.

I wish I had an airsoft grenade launcher.

Granted, but the first time you use it, the grenade detonates prematurely.

I wish exams wouldn't get in the way of Winter-een-mas.

Granted, instead of getting 'in' the way, it conquers the way, preventing Winter-een-mas.

I wish I were a Samurai.

Granted, but people associate you with the song "Samurai" by German pop group Dschinghis Khan.

I wish Dschinghis Khan had made an English version of "Samurai"

Granted, but it stinks.

I wish I had an awesome Electric GUITAR!

granted. But it catchs on fire

I wish I was Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise

Granted, but you're about to get assimilated by the Borg.

I wish I had Xbox Live.

Granted, but you only have a Silver account.

I wish I could achieve world peace.

Granted, but it lasts around 50 minutes....the amount of time before the nexk Nuke reaches its target.

I wish I had a funny monkey friend.

Granted, but he's funny because he does unflattering impersonations of you.

I wish that I would be sent into a future (where only hot people existed and the fashion was sterile white labcoats) as a labcoat and that I would be worn by the hottest woman in the world.

Granted, but by 'hot,' she catches on fire, while you, as your labcoat, are being worn.

I wish I had a gas mask.

Granted, but the night you get it you go out and leave it at home. And you drive, windows open, into a stray mustard gas cloud.

I wish that we were in a medieval setting where everyone was named after pieces of furniture, and that I was the great hero Tablechair, son of Sofa.

Granted, but you become a tablechair, and how your Father is a sofa, no one knows.

I wish I was know as Lord Q, Son of King Q, Grandson of Super Q, who is son of Bob Q.

Granted, but the Q stands for Quitter.

I wish I could believably claim to be The Doctor.

Granted, but after you convince the nation of your Doctorness, a smart person points out that you're not, and an angry mob attacks you.

I wish I had a Thompson Fully-automatic machine gun.

Granted, but due to licencing issues, it's for display only.

I wish for a wireless adapter for my 360.

Granted, but it's wireless dial-up.

I wish more people understood what Wing Commander was...

Granted, that's the only thing anyone knows.

I wish I were a Wing Commander.

Granted, but your wing is made up of blind pilots.

I wish I had more socks.

Granted, but you have nothing else to put on except socks...and you've been invited to a formal dinner with the King.

I wish I was a member of His Majesty's Royal Commandoes

^Granted - you're target practice.

I wish I had tall ship, and a star to steer her by.

Granted, but your first officer says there's an iceberg ahead, but you want to follow the star, so you run into the iceberg....and sink.

I wish I had the...."BISMARCK!"

Granted. But the "BISMARCK!" is sunk on it's first voyage with no survivors

I wish I had a giant wheel of cheese bigger then my house

Granted, but it rolls out of control and smashes you.

I wish "I HAD A CHEESEBURGER, A LOVELY CHEESBURGER!!"

Granted; you get a cylinder of cheese on a bun.

I wish my computer wasn't bugged.

Granted, it no longer exists.

I wish smart people were the majority, instead of idiots.

Granted, but you're part of the minority.

I wish Green Jelly was touring Canada.

Granted, but nowhere near you.

I wish it were easier to make money.

^Granted, but only because prostitution is now legalised everywhere.

I wish I had a Chemist Tree in my backyard.

Granted, you now have a tree that grows Chemists. But each one of them is your responsibility to feed, clothe, etc.

I wish I was a Pirate King.

Granted. Your first mate mutinies and throws you to the sharks

I wish I had a shotgun that fired Cheese bullets