Granted, but people think they're regular bullets.
I wish I had a gun that fired mayonnaise.
Granted. But it clogs up your gun and the gun backfires on you
I wish I had a bazooka that fired Pizzas
Granted, but they don't go far due to not being aerodynamic.
I wish for a disc launcher of some sort loaded with pizza.
granted, but its bad pizzas (the kind that go right through ya)
I wish chev was more normal.
Granted, but everybody is driven crazy by the sudden change.
I wish I had machine-gun capable of over 10,000 rounds a second....and fires marshmallows.
Granted, but they're flaming marshmallows.
I wish for smores.
Granted, but they are old smores and give you food-poisoning.
I wish I had a flamethrower that launched whipped-cream.
Granted, but it's flaming whipped cream.
I wish to know the Ultimate Question, if the Ultimate Answer is 42.
Granted, but the ultimate question is so easy that you go crazy.
I wish I had an iron forehead:D
Granted. But someone whacks you in the head with a steel 2x4
I wish I had an Endless supplu of pizza
Granted, but you find out that supplu means poisoning in some obscure language.
I wish to go forward in time to see the Tenth Doctor regenerate into the Eleventh Doctor.
Granted. but you're caught up in the energy and you end up having your brain fried
I wish I was a lightsaber
Granted, but you're poorly constructed.
I wish to make a living off driving people mad.
Granted, but then somebody sues you and you can't pay the fee forced upon you=prison...for psychos.
I wish I had a lie detector that worked.
Granted, it detects lies like a metal detector, and since lies aren't tangible, it doesn't work.
I wish I had a Large Cherry Coke from Sonic.
Granted, but it's so large that you fall in it and our unable to swim due to its sweetness...and you drown.
I wish I had a B-17 Flying Fortress.
Granted, but the fuel costs bankrupt you.
I wish I had a flying Aircraft Carrier.
Granted, but it isn't aerodynamic and once again, the fuel prices go up 10 fold, bankrupting you as well.
I wish I had an environment friendly battle tank:D
Granted, but it lacks weapons in order to be environment friendly.
I wish I had a TX-130-S.
Granted, but that, in fact, is a number for transfer to a loony bin.
I wish I had a totally awesomesauce airplane.
Granted, you have an airplane made entirely out of sauce.
I wish I had an AAT.
Granted, but it is quickly outclassed and obsolete.
I wish I had a Clone Turbo Tank:D
Granted, but you overdo the turbo and crash.
I wish I had an MTT.
Granted, Mountain Torture Test.
I wish I had an HMMVW.
Granted, but when you go to get it insured, nobody can figure out what it is, and then it breaks.
I wish my dog's nose would stop running.
Granted, it starts walking instead.
I wish that there was such a thing as teleportation.
Granted, but it's not perfected yet, and after using it, your molecules are rearranged the wrong way and you die a gruesome, horrible, bloody, and messy death.
I wish for more Doctor Who this year.
Granted, but there's so much Doctor Who that the series comes to an end.
I wish I understood Doctor Who.
Granted, but since you know have all the knowledge of a Time Lord in your human brain, you die.
I wish Tysyacha would update her Mass Effect fanfic more frequently.
Granted, it comes so often, it is impossible to read.
I wish I had boots of justice and a blaster of solitude:D
Granted, but your blaster of solitude renders you utterly alone.
I wish for the song "This is Gallifrey: Our Childhood, Our Home" to play whenever I walk.
Granted, but you are compelled to run everywhere.
I wish I were as good a tactician as Hannibal.
Granted, but you're bested by someone who wished to be a better tactician than Hannibal.
I wish I were a better tactician than Hannibal.
Granted but your bested by someone who wished to be a better tactician than you.
I wish I were a better tactician than Alkonium.
Granted, but I then wish to be a better tactician than myself.
Granted, but you develop two personalities; Jeckyll and Hyde, which proceed to kill each other.
I wish I were as good a fighter as Ajax the Trojan warrior.
Granted, but Ahammer smashes you.
I wish I had an MP44.
Granted, you now have an Mpeg Layer-44 file. Not sure what use it is, though.
I wish for all Anime and Manga shown in the Western World to be badly translated.
Grantedm they are so badly translated that they are not successful and fade into the past, and everyone is mad at you for wishing that, so an angry mob.....handles you.
I wish that TV wasn't so bad.
Granted, but you go mad trying to decide between awesome shows to watch.
I wish to know the Eleventh Doctor's catchphrase.
Granted, but that is the only thing you know, and continuosly repeat over and over.
I wish I had a super grenade launcher.
Granted, it launches super grenades, with a blast radius you always seem to get caught in, no matter how far away you fire them.
I wish for a crowbar launcher.
Granted, but it's like a boomerang, and it comes back at you.
I wish I had a time machine.
How does the original from H. G. Wells' book The Time Machine sound?
I wish I had an ASHPD (Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device)
Granted, just wait til fat convention dudes dressed as Spock & Data finish with it.
I wish I had a non romantic date with Liverpool captain, Steven Gerrard :)
mtfbwya
Granted, but you regret that it was non-romantic shortly after finding out what a great guy he is.
Also, you find out that you're gay.
I wish all music was like the 80's music.
Granted, but all of the singers get arrested because the only way to make that music is to be on LSD.
I wish that the sudden fascination with ninjas and Asian comics in the US would rapidly die.
Granted, but it's replaced by a fascination with drinking bleach.
I wish I could scam people using religion.
Granted, but that religion is buddhism, so nothing you say or do really exists.
I wish I could travel back in time and become famous by catching Jack The Ripper
mtfbwya
Granted, but afterwards, you remember hearing that Jack the Ripper was caught by an someone completely unknown, and you never think it's you from the future, and you never think to go back and do, causing a massive paradox.
I wish for ultimate understanding of temporal mechanics.