Granted, but it's in your eyes.

I wish for the equipment to run my own Webseries.

granted, but its virus riden


i wish i had the tech to put a virus in his tech

Granted, but the tech it took to put a virus in his tech gave you a virus.

I wish you gave me your most prized possession for a button.

Granted, unfortunately that version clone of me is also suicidally genocidal, the button you gave is a working nuke launch button, and my most prized possession is a journal of my half mad ravings you cannot understand nor is it of any use to you. except fire starter

I wish the wishing well was the real deal.

granted, but you have throw in $1million per wish

I wish HG35 had remembered to post a wish.

granted: but i didnt forget, i just wanted to see what happened

i wish Alkonium would realize this

Granted, but now you face the wrath of the seasoned posters.

I wish for some help on that wrath.

Yo HG35, pay close attention! :xp:
http://static.open.salon.com/files/douchebagmotivator1236598639.jpg)
Sadly I knew the one on the left with a cigarette and the one next to him with a pendant. They had so much potential, such a waste. Don't squander yours like they did.



I wish Mike Judge wasn't risking putting Beavis and Butt-Head into obscurity with his new work.

Granted. He isn't risking it but doing it on purpose instead.

I wish that Beavis & Butthead were real and got a gig hosting The View and used it to rip Rosie O'Donnel a new one every day.

Granted! But after that, she finds out that you made the wish, finds you, and rips you a new one with her largest toy. :devscare: ( Ooooooooooh WEEEE! That's gonna hurt son!)





I wish I had a black Ferrari 599 GTO.

Granted. However, you ruin the transmission by repeatedly using the stick shift as your own "personal toy". :devburn:

I wish purifier hadn't made me say that. :angel:

Well..granted, but now your gonna ruin our fun with all of the flaming doody we're throwing at each other. ;P Aaaah shucks!








I wish for everyone to get in on the flaming doody fest.

Granted, unfortuinately the fun ends early for you as you get buried first by their newest additions: Shoulder dwelling butt monkeys, Tree spider buttmonkeys, and the all new gun wielding evolution monkeys as described by Marylin Manson in the song Cruci-fiction in outer space.

I wish some people could just live and let live.

Granted, but some is less than most or all, and so I had nothing to grant other than simply telling you it is has been done by my omnipotence in this matter of unqualified isms.

I wish that someone had change for that button I bought GTA's prized possession for.

Granted but someone beats you up and steals it.

I wish That my Bananas had some coconuts.(Cuz that makes sense ya know)

granted but the coconuts are rotten


I wish you all cant have the power to make wishes :p

Granted, but since I am a Platypus, I am not effected.

I wish for world domination

Granted, but now every time you start another scheme Doof shows up to stop you. He also has a goatee now.

I wish for the power to summon 4*10^7 lions at will.

Granted, you ca now summon 40,000,000 lions at will. Unfortunately they are hungry lions with little to eat nearby and you are on the menu.

I wish I had a dominant male clone of myself who was "a chargin' his laser".

Granted, but in his dominance, he decides that he no longer needs you to demonstrate his dominance....Kendo match...to the death!!!

I wish I could craft the most perfect blade.

Granted, you do. However in your exuberance, MY evil male clone decides to take you out next with his laser. Then he and my evil female clone whom also murdered me decide to feast o' cannibalism...just before going to make children together... I'm dead twice... You're dead once with no hope of revival... :cry:

I wish some dude who owned the joint would tape an effin' meat tenderizer to his fist and pretend to be megaman and punch living people right in the gut.

Granted, but you're the first person he punches in the gut.

I wish for a female clone of myself for ... some reason I can't think of.

Uhhuh. Hmmm....well, granted, but in the process of something you can't think of, some freak accident occurs and you find yourself castrated and fed to GTA's clones.

I wish I had a female clone....that happened to be a very attractive female clone of myself.....that happened to not hate me....uhhh...that happened to not affect the multiple dimension spectrum thing.

Granted. However, everyone around you is revolted and screams INCEST!!! oh wai--


I wish I could have a pet Metal KingSlime from dragon quest/warrior.

Granted, but its slime is impossible to get out of anything.

I wish for a Sovereign-Class Starship.

Granted, it's the miniature.

I wish I had a small nation of 1 billion all dedicated to me, and I had a private army from which to oppress them :D

Granted. Unfortunately, that private army for hire is the doodey flinging monkey army, taking leave of memorial because charlie the smoking chip just died. (http://www.boingboing.net/2010/10/07/charlie-the-smoking.html)

I wish changing the dim LED in my projector alarm clock was a simple matter. Even if the only LED available was a color I didn't like.

Granted, but in the process you break it.


I wish that lightsabers were real.

Granted, and all the cool kids have them.

You don't.

I wish more people would call their cars their 'wheels'.

Granted, but it prompts a radical redesign of cars to be little more than wheels, which makes them much more dangerous.

I wish I was eligible for the YouTube Partner Program.

Granted you get in on one. Unfortunately it goes broke a day later. Some russian mob arsehole buys it and now everything you were going to have is now null and void.

I wish my inbred baby with a clone of the opposite sex was albino and had super strength.

Granted, but your child is taken by the government for research.


I wish for a ruined wish. :p

^^^Granted. Now every time you make a wish here or anywhere else it will automatically be ruined. Fate will be arranged around you such that circumstances will always conspire against you. Bad luck ans misery will infest you for all eternity.

I wish the dog would quit rubbing itself all over me like a cat...

^.^ Granted! Now the dog will be rubbing you like a dog, if you know what I mean o.O

I wish I could stop thinking about ruined wishes, and GTA's wish granting, which has brought my mind into a moebius of sinister plots.

Granted. Unfortunately even though you have stopped thinking about it, there is no guarantee you won't think of either of those things again, nor assurance those evil plots won't come to fruition.

^.^ Granted! Now the dog will be rubbing you like a dog, if you know what I mean o.O
Well, it's an old female collie...though stranger things have happened. <_<


I wish my ex would get bombed and her flaming lifeless body flung like a ragdoll in some random direction that nobody really cares about.

That random direction happens to be you and you burn to death.

I wish that i DONT become ruler of the world.

Granted, unfortunately the ruler of the world is someone you soon come to hate and he has you humiliated everyday for the rest of your life.

I wish all the street fighter characters were real.

Granted, but they then kick your ass in a fight.

I wish alabama blew up without hurting or killing me, my family or my friends.

Granted, unfortunately there is some celebration happening where everyone is blowing up bowling balls exactly where you and and everybody you care about are suddenly and inexplicably all gathered in the same place at once--the ensuing shrapnel mess kills everyone there.

Granted, but they then kick your ass in a fight.

Who said anything about them and I fighting? :p



I wish pro wrestling got the hoof and went out of business.

Granted, but the hoof hit was so hard that it went up RC's ass...... what a minute, this is RUIN a wish......um, nevermind. :dev9: Granted, but now you have to pay their unemployment.

I wish they paid us in $US for every post we made here.

Granted, but now the US economy is even deeper **** than it was in before.

I wish the video games industry was more than just shallow, violent games.

Granted. Now every single game is FF X-2.

I wish that this year will not be bad.

Granted, but now because of your wish for this year, it will bring about the apocalypse in the following year.






:whacked: I wish I hadn't drank all that wine last night.

Granted, instead you drank rum in the same volume as the wine.

I wish my New Year's Eve had been more eventful.

Granted: you meet more arseholes than I ran into.

I wish someone would stomp the crap out of Vince McMahon all over someone's clean livingroom.

Granted, it's your clean living room. Good luck cleaning that up.

I wish I knew how to sing Auld Lang Syne in Klingon.

Granted: You do but it ends up being the worst tone deaf out of key rendition that people boo you off the stage and your current lover disowns you.

I wish Rockstar would officially reveal what happened to all the lovable main characters of past GTA games.

Granted, they all died in some sort of flaming orgy.

I wish that when I die, it's while I'm having awesome sex.

Granted, unfortunately that awesome sex is with an inanimate object that electrocuted you.

I wish my boxers would quit riding up on me.

Granted, but now they squeeze the life out of your jewels.......painfully.

I wish we were'nt such a sick bunch of people in this thread.

Granted. We're not such a sick bunch. Just you. And another even more disgusting group comes in and overtakes us. And the rest of this forum.

I wish Morrigan Aensland from Darkstalkers didn't start me down the rabbit hole.

Granted, but you were turned into a gerbil and started up the bung hole. :devburn:

I wish I didn't have to make a wish for this thread to keep going smoothly.

Granted, you con't have to and consequently don't. Because it is going to get botched regardless.

Granted, but you were turned into a gerbil and started up the bung hole. :devburn:
And knowing how you'd ruin my wish, probably up the bunghole of Steve-o from jackass. :barf:


I wish Deus-ex would quit annoying Pyramid Head. (Hint: reference to youtube series ASDF dual paradox.)

Granted, instead he annoys you.

I wish for my own Stargate and DHD.