Granted: That locker is your own.

I wish that I had the power. (He man reference)

Granted, you have the power to die simply by thinking about dying.

I wish it was 11-11-11 already.

Granted. Time skips for you. Unfortunately you miss out on some hot orgy at your place on Halloween.

I wish I was one of the 10 people who will get this lightsaber:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvlsrYJv5nc)

Granted, but you are later relieved of it and brought up on charges of possessing stolen property. Well, what did you expect when you got it from Lloyd and Harry....

I wish movies looked more like movies and not tv when watching them on a hi-def 1080p tv.

Granted but production costs are driven up so much nobody can afford them. Your 1080i hi def TV that you paid through the nose for is now almost completely useless in the ensuing crash.

I wish it started raining dead animals, literally, all over north America.

Granted, it does and you are promptly blamed and burned at the stake for modern day witchcraft. Would you like some fries with that..... :devsmoke:

I wish Torettes Guy would get a new gimmick.

Granted: Tourettes guy gets a new gimmick but it isn't all that different from what he did before. Unfortunately this also is at your expense.

I wish Tourettes Guy would come to your town next to cause trouble.

Granted, but everyone just ignores him.

I wish Jersey Shore was cancelled.

Granted, but it's replaced by some abomination called The Snooky Situation and you are put to death for inflicting this on everyone.

I wish my own indestructible Death Star that no one else could control (nor could they control me, either).

Granted, but the only controls to fire it are local, and the shields that make it indestructible? They cause major heat issues. Don't worry though, the Death Star can handle the heat. The occupants are another story. . .

I wish I didn't know Totenkopf misspelled "Snooki".

Granted, unfortunately you also don't care about your spelling to a point that it becomes detrimental.


I wish M. Bison from street fighter were real so I could bash his head in.

Granted, but to do so means stealing the body of Raul Julia from his grave in dressing him up in the costume. Needless to say, it does not end well.

I wish for fiction to be angst-free.

Granted, unfortunately reality takes a turn for the worse and a little side note everyone on earth gets scabies at once.

I wish I could have an opportunity meet either the Jerky Boys or John Musacha.

you do, but you're also blind.

I wish I hadn't answered this thread.

Granted. You don't exist.

I wish to pass all my exams.

Granted, you oversleep and fail all your classes. :dev9:

I wish no one could play Mass Effect 3 till after I did, so that there were no more spoiler issues to deal with.

Granted, but you realise that there was nothing spoiler-worthy in the game anyway. In fact, you already knew the whole story.

I wish I could be good at my native language.

^^^Granted you are. Unfortunately the effort required to grant your wish required I take from somewhere else, you are now homeless with horrendous credit you won't recover from until you are at least 55 years old.

I wish celebrity deathmatch was back, and it had all the GTA 3 era characters vs all the OT characters of SW, and Akuma from Street Fighter was the referee.

Granted, but it is cancelled before the first episode finishes.

I wish I had a big knoife.

Granted, but when you brandish it, someone points out that it's actually a spoon. You've played knifey-spoony before, right?

I wish my spoon was too big.

Granted, but you're also a Banana

I wish I had a pelican.

Granted, but you're also pemmican that can feel pain. And your pelican is hungry.

I wish I had a car that didn't need fuel of any sort and didn't have to be insured.

Granted. But you just realize that you outgrew Matchbox a long time ago and have used up all your wishes.

I wish I'd stop playing this game.

Granted, unfortunately you grow bored because life just isn't as much fun and you decide to take it up again.

I wish California State Senator Pete Stark did something traitorous enough to warrant the death penalty and the video of his execution was death by way of woodchipper feet first while chain shackeld by his wrists to some posts cemented into the ground so that way he's stretched out in agony before the 5 ton woodchipper inches forward and munches him up slowly. (AND the poor schmuck in whose yard it is performed has to put up with the dungeon smell, unless he or she likes the smell of course--then something else.)

Granted, but the "something traitorous enough" involves you.

I wish TOR would go free to play.

Granted, unfortunately that is because earth has entered into a blind spot in the universe where all electromagnetics are severely decreased and electrical currents the world over have stopped on appreciable usable levels. It's free to play because nobody can turn on their computer anymore.

the "something traitorous enough" involves you. I thought my american flag t-shirt factory smelled a little funny.
...
:swear:

I wish alk was a jackass.http://guildwars.incgamers.com/forums/images/smilies/large/smiley_smug.gif)

Totally granted, but then he becomes the ultimate jackass out of all of us. :p





I wish we could slow down time.

Granted, but then your brain and heart slow down to match and stop due to insufficient blood pressure and you die.

I wish the US had a weapon as powerful as the Death Star, w/o any vulnerabilities.

California State Senator Pete Stark

You mean that horse's ass is more than just a CA congressman? Or is that his evil (how would anyone be able to tell :dev9: ) twin?

Granted, unfortunately you are the dumbass who locks everyone out of the control room including yourself and there is no way to get back inside. Nice going. BTW Red Foreman had a message: check your ass, dumbass.

I wish J.P. Morgan got sunk, literally.

Granted, but the resulting flood drowns you.

I wish I could feel like modding again.

Granted, but then your schedule doesn't give you time.


I wish I could hide my frustration and sadness from one of my friends.

Granted but now you are frustrated because nobody gets it and nobody wants to leave you any time to yourself.


I wish I successfully killed leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1-3 for saying "what" again, and escaped unscathed.

Granted, but now people see you as worse than Leatherface, since you killed him.

I wish for all of the nutjob American politicians to reenact "Physicist Melts Down" on live TV.

Granted. Unfortunately the result is that several fictional universes merge with ours and we end up with a whole mess of problems...politicians being the least of your worries. You now have to save your neighbors from Dr. Tongue.

I wish furry-human hybrids were real, both human base and animal based so that way I could have the concubines of my dreams in my trash kingdom on some random island.

Granted. However, as your random island sinks into the sea and you have no way to escape, your new concubines proceed to shrilly scream at you about what a dumb rat b@st@rd you are for not having an escape/emergency relocation plan.

I wish I won the Powerball and Megamillions jackpots, with each being over $200 mil, while still safely retaining my anonymity and living happily rich ever after.

Granted, unfortunately events take place soon thereafter to subvert several world economies under Geroge Soros' control. Soros dissolves the U.N. and replaces it with a global empire...guess who is at the throne?
http://www.dogbarker.com/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/media/images/emperor-soros3/21339-1-eng-US/Emperor-Soros.png) As a result of America's economy being made insolvent your money is now worthless, you are constantly being threatened by eric holder, and SPLC pres. Richard Cohen if you try to take action there will be "retaliation".

I wish my furries and I successfully swim back to america unscathed.

Granted, but things go downhill after you get there.

I wish I could forget about DA's furry harem.

Granted, but you became a furry yourself and became part of a Sasquatch's harem, so Sasquatch begans messin' with you.





I wish Sasquatch would wrestle D.A. for his harem.

Granted: we have a wrestling match and the furry harem makes its escape from me. Unfortunately I still win the match b/c sasquatch is more concerned about not being seen by anyone and making sure nobody "gives a ****" about bigfoot.

I wish we had a LF group called the jackass crew.

Granted, but it's just full of jackasses and has nothing to do with Jackass.

@DA: Couldn't you just make one?

I wish for DA to get drunk and go all "Can I take my pants off over my head? Of course not. My body's in the way." the next time he has to give a big speech.

Granted but you miss out on it and nobody recorded it even though you paid them.

@Alk: yes, but it's funnier to see what people think about it. I suppose if there was enough interest I'd make one. But who'd join? I'm pretty sure I watch jackass more than everyone else here.

I wish my little girl would grow up to kill Lucifer, take over and become queen of hell just like that one ending in princess maker 2--and that I'd get front a row seat to watch all the lawyers suffer her wrath. (Obviously while I burn since I'm pretty much going there myself I think.)

Granted, but the Grim Reaper kills her in retaliation.

I wish Mass Effect 3 could come out sooner.

Granted, but it's full of bugs that crash the game every 5 minutes.


I wish for a girlfriend, who would not break my heart.

Granted, but now you don't trust any females as far as you could throw them, which hurts your ability to have long term relationships because you finally figured out what they really want is to dominate all of us men. ;)





I wish life itself would get a life.

Granted, but at the loss of your own.

I wish for nothing.

Granted, now you're floating in a void for all eternity with nothing to do.

I wish it would stop being so damn windy here.

Granted, you no longer expel gas, but the natural winds outside inherit that sulfur smell and everyone across the entire planet blames you.






I wish the 2012 presidential elections were already over with.

Granted, the Reapers decided to show up a good 174 years early, so we've got bigger things to worry about than an election.

I wish for Stephen Harper to be removed from office.

Granted, but Vic Toews takes over and shifts the entire government's focus to getting to know you better (by putting you in a megaprison with lots of cameras). You're stuck in there with the worse kinds of people, like child pornographers and privacy advocates.

I wish that space travel was as cheap, effective, and as awesome as it is in Star Trek.

Granted, but Earth runs out of its fuel reserves - as well as all human colonies.

I wish I could go to the upcoming Van Halen concert.