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Jae Onasi

Latest Posts

Page: 75 of 98
Posted in: [Short Fic] My First Badfic! (Spoilers)
  Jae Onasi
08-12-2006, 6:45 PM
#5
It's delightfully ridiculous. :D...  [Read More]
Posted in: Name Problems- Need Help with a Name? Ask Here
  Jae Onasi
08-12-2006, 7:15 PM
#10
OK, I'll sticky it. I've also considered merging it with the Expert Forum thread, since people ask for help there. We can't have 85 million stickied threads :) but I think this topic will work in the sticky category. As promised, random name genera...  [Read More]
Posted in: Name Problems- Need Help with a Name? Ask Here
  Jae Onasi
08-12-2006, 2:59 PM
#7
I've got some random generator names that I'll edit in here later after I've gotten a badly needed nap. I'm wondering if this should be combined with the Tips to a Good Fanfic thread/sticky. They're not exactly the same, but both help improve a fic...  [Read More]
Posted in: [Short Fic] Revenge of the Exile
  Jae Onasi
08-05-2006, 10:05 AM
#4
That's one dark fic, Pottsie. Cool. I caught a couple sentences where you added a comma that didn't need to be there, but nothing else jumped out at me. Try making the battle between Jaden and and the other team members longer--I felt like it went a...  [Read More]
Posted in: [Shortie Fic] Rule Number One
  Jae Onasi
08-08-2006, 1:02 AM
#10
I wouldn't call 63-ish views (not including the ones in the Archives) in only 4 days on this one alone 'little to no interest'. The comment-to-view ratio averages about 10% or so for any fic, and that seems to be the case for most of your recent subm...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIN]The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
08-05-2006, 1:24 AM
#39
Acknowledgments and Big Thank You's.... My hubby Jimbo and my kiddos, who put up with me being absolutely consumed at times writing this story. They also sat down to read it (or let me read it to them) and laughed at my jokes. There's true love. :) C...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIN]The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
08-05-2006, 12:55 AM
#38
The Final Battles “We are,” Talin said. I turned to look at him, surprised. He was standing next to Master Supat, both of them with lightsaber blades glowing. While he still showed Scourge damage, he was more healed than not. At least one squad...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIN]The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
08-05-2006, 12:39 AM
#37
Storm Rider Talin, Hoth Crystal’s attacking, too. I warned him. Carth has shields up. I’ll tell him. I sighed my relief. “Talin says Carth has the shields up, Jolee.” “Good. That should buy them some time. Tell them not to fire on any...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIN]The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
08-05-2006, 12:37 AM
#36
A Question of Loyalty “What do you mean, we can’t raise the Osprey?” Bernecki asked Yutan. “I’m getting chatter from the other strike teams, sir, but I can’t reach the Osprey. Her communications system is out,” Yutan said. Jolee and...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIN]The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
08-05-2006, 12:32 AM
#35
The Vision and Miraxton Even through all his agony, Talin sensed my worry for him. “Relax, Jae. I took the stim.” The relief was nearly overwhelming. “Thank the Force. The defense techniques will work. Concentrate on them, and the pain will d...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIN]The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
08-04-2006, 11:29 PM
#34
The Battle With Miraxton The door slid open slowly, almost as if it was reluctant to admit us into Miraxton’s quarters. Miraxton was facing away from us with his hands lightly clasped together behind his back, standing at the window in a casual s...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIN]The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
08-04-2006, 11:24 PM
#33
The Command Center “I think the party’s just getting started. What do you think, Jae?” Jolee asked, as our lightsabers all ignited as one. “I think they’re mad because we didn’t send out invitations. We’ll have to remember to do that...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIN]The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
08-04-2006, 11:16 PM
#32
The Mission Begins Two hands dropped down gently on either shoulder, breaking my meditation. “I came to wake you, but you were already up,” Talin murmured, trying not to startle me. He stood behind me, and we both looked out at the pinpoints of...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIN]The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
08-04-2006, 10:49 PM
#31
Chapter 30: The Story of the Wolves “Here’s what we’re going to do,” Carth announced at the meeting of the senior staff. “Once we get to RZ A22, Admiral Dodonna wants us to do recon on the Exchange fleet. If we get the opportunity, we’l...  [Read More]
Posted in: [Short Fic] The Power of Love
  Jae Onasi
08-05-2006, 1:37 PM
#7
I liked some of the training details. I could feel Jaden's fatigue. I had to giggle just a little--when someone declares their love for someone else, they usually don't say it from across the room. They get close, snuggle together or even just hold...  [Read More]
Posted in: SW: Return From Exile
  Jae Onasi
08-05-2006, 10:46 AM
#10
I'm enjoying the beginning of all this. Nice characterization of Atton--'tight little end' indeed. :D Every time I hear 'Devo', all I can think about is a band wearing red flowerpots on their heads and sporting those ridiculously thin sunglasses. :)...  [Read More]
Posted in: [Fic] The True Teachings II: Forbidden Knowledge
  Jae Onasi
08-05-2006, 11:04 AM
#23
Interesting story. The grammar and spelling looks pretty darn good. The only thing I had a little trouble with was Luke telling Dasha he couldn't stop her. I didn't feel like she gave a good enough justification to leave. However, the rest of the sto...  [Read More]
Posted in: Old men forget...
  Jae Onasi
08-08-2006, 12:22 AM
#16
It's located at the Holowan Laboratories section here in the Kotor forums. Click here to enter the fabulous and addictive world of modding (http://www.lucasforums.com/forumdisplay.php?f=592). :)...  [Read More]
Posted in: Old men forget...
  Jae Onasi
08-07-2006, 6:30 PM
#9
The Exile was a general during the Mandalorian Wars, so she can't be too young. But that's one of my pet peeves in SW--generals aren't 18 year old Jedi who lead small strike teams all over the place. There are some things that you can only learn thr...  [Read More]
Posted in: [Fic] In His Service, or "Ya--Yevo'"
  Jae Onasi
08-05-2006, 11:22 AM
#42
This is fascinating. The grammar and spelling looks good. The only issue I has was the masters assigning her to do remedial training with Anakin when they knew she had a crush on him. How both Anakin and Tysy deal with their feelings is very interest...  [Read More]
Posted in: [Fic] Star Wars: Assassination Protocols
  Jae Onasi
08-07-2006, 10:20 AM
#52
"Yes meatbag...get a breath freshener..." Too funny. It's a fun story to read. @igyman--I actually got some really good ideas from people when I posted it a chapter at a time. I tried some different things based on some of those comments a...  [Read More]
Posted in: Tips to a Good Fanfic!
  Jae Onasi
08-06-2006, 9:02 AM
#14
Yaggles, I can't claim credit for sticky-ing the topic--I think it was stingerhs. However, it's a good thing since this thread has some very useful info. The reason we need line breaks here when we normally wouldn't in a regular document has to do w...  [Read More]
Posted in: Tips to a Good Fanfic!
  Jae Onasi
08-05-2006, 2:47 PM
#11
A beta reader can be a great help--they can find stuff that you might not see and ask questions about a section that is clear to you but possibly confusing to another reader. I read my chapters out loud to my son before posting, generally. It lets me...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC}Broken Wounds Heal
  Jae Onasi
08-08-2006, 12:16 AM
#34
*Jae giggles a bit* You made me just a little nervous that I might have to do something moderator-ish when you mentioned 'horny', and here it's just a little sideways look. :) I'm enjoying this story just as I enjoyed HotG....  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] Hidden Shades of Grey
  Jae Onasi
08-08-2006, 12:04 PM
#110
Well, now we finally see the truth come out about the gem, eh? It'll be interesting to see if Rade can really gain Kye's trust. I can't blame Kye for not trusting him, however. Glad to see you writing again!...  [Read More]
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