Coruscant Entertainment Center (
http://www.lucasforums.com/forumdisplay.php?f=640)
it isn't finished yet, but you can read what I have so far. (
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=166285)
raven Onasi
Based on KOTOR: The incidents aboard Endar Spire and first arrival on Taris;
I could find nothing wrong with this work. The style needs some work, but that is practice editing and rewriting.
One of the people commented that I had already done the entire book, and while true, any writer can find more to write on the subject. R-O has already had her character uncomfortable because she shares a room with a man, had her decide ‘why does she need help’ with Bastila, and added the ‘keep sequestered from the Jedi’ comment in the service record that my character never saw.
I agree with another commentator that there is a lot we do not see that can be developed on. I found things, so will R-O. I’d like to see more.
Galactic Conquest: The Rise of the Imperials (
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=158419)
RC1162
A battle during the Rebellion. Specific times not set.
All of the problems with this are military technical and timeline. Nothing that disparages the work.
First, a squadron is between 12 and 24 aircraft. Any larger formation is a Wing, so it should have been Gray Wing and Blue Wing.
Second, you have the empire expanding too slowly. If Palpatine had done his job, there would be scattered pockets or resistance, not the equivalent of an invasion force pushing on. We don’t have an idea how many planets actually tried to break away, and taking only 7 in one year is deadly slow.
As an example here Kashyyyk already had an occupation force in place, so why are they invading? Think of the times when coups fail or don’t succeed readily. The Russian revolution which was a spasm that lasted almost 4 years is a perfect example.
In timeline, you have both Yoda and Kenobi on the bridge, but unless it is an alternate timeline, this could not occur. Kenobi could be there, but Yoda hid out on Dagobah almost immediately. Both would be sensed by Vader, so there should be an immediate ‘aha!’ when the Rebel ships arrive. If it were early in the Imperial period, the X-wing would not be in use yet but might be on the drawing board. Remember, 22 years between The Revenge of the Sith and a New Hope.
Also, Wedge looked to be about mid 20s in the movies. He was competent but not genius in A New Hope. If it had been a WWII fighter combat movie I would have tagged him as a 1st lieutenant. He would have made captain by the time of The Empire Strikes back, and maybe colonel for Return of the Jedi. If you made this Wedge’s father, or older brother it would make more sense.
RC1162’s fourth appearance and still quality work.
The crystal of life.
(
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=157648)
Renegade Puma
The story is well done but needs editing and rewriting.
The idea that the midichlorians might be sentient was suggested in KOTOR but I don’t agree that they would have a opinion on the whole on how they were used. If they did there would never have been a Star Wars because there is just one small step from repugnance to censure. The Emperor would have suddenly found himself unable to do anything, and Vader would have had the same problem.
I used the idea in my own work when I suggested that the Rakata of KOTOR were deprived of their ability to use the force by the force itself, but that was an entire race and took a millennia or more for it to be noticed. But in reflection if my example had been true the Sith, both as a race and as a group would have suddenly been struck in the same manner.
http://www.galacticsenate.com/forumdisplay.php?f=28&page=3&order=desc)
The Essence Conflict (
http://www.galacticsenate.com/showthread.php?t=10465)
Miasmo
Between The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. A man who always wins finds that he can lose.
There are spelling and grammar problems, but nothing that can’t be fixed readily. The premise is excellent and the method used to portray it superb.
The main character is a little unsettling, but since I have created characters like them, it doesn’t bother me that much.
The Second Oath (
http://www.galacticsenate.com/showthread.php?t=10688)
Sniper Gelgok
A scene aboard Ebon Hawk, with no specific part of the KOTOR universe given.
The story is honestly too short for me to make much of a determination. There are no specific flaws to point out.
Knowing the Void: Oppressed (
http://www.galacticsenate.com/showthread.php?t=10682)
DarthSolo
A look at the history of the Yuuzhan Vong race. One of a series of five;
An excellent work. As much as people look at an enemy and see a heartless monster, as often as they are in truth monsters, it is rare that they begin that way.
DarthSolo took one of the most vicious races in the Star Wars Universe, and gave them a heart, made us see what set them on the path. The work is worth more than the glance I was able to give it.
DarthSolo’s fifth appearance in these pages
http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?cat=6&paged=15)
The Angel of Death (
http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?p=1938)
Old Wolf
Set within Revan’s mind at the confrontation between her and Bastila aboard Revan’s Flagship before the start of KOTOR I.
When it comes to angst, Old Wolf outdoes every scene I have ever written. The Female Revan appears to have already reached burnout before Bastila confronted her. Death would have been a mercy. My question OW, is did you do the entire book? How did Revan react when she found out who she was aboard Leviathan?
A Rude Awakening (
http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?p=1982)
mcfinnegan
After the destruction of the Star Forge, the Republic Troops have a blast to be remembered. Both Bastila and Alana however would rather forget it.
The piece started with four disclaimers, ending with one that meant the author really expected flak.
O-Kay.
Then I read it.
After I was done laughing, I decided, what could I say? First, having two of the characters end up in bed didn’t disturb me as much as it did them. Mission’s reaction was choice and brought even more laughter. Juhani’s was icing on the cake.
My complaints are to the other reviewers. First, I have had too much to drink before, so I understand waking up in bed with someone and not being at all sure what might have happened. While one appears to have been nude, and the other topless, that doesn’t mean anything happened. (I know, you’re all sitting out there saying ‘A the Critic protests too much methinks!’ but it is true. Mission’s reaction is what I would expect from a girl her age. Juhani’s was taken as a lesbian offer, but think about it? The principles don’t remember what happened, the only existing picture is of them SLEEPING. She was just saying doing what every person who has ever caught a friend in such a position would have done, teased them unmercifully. Ask me about the hole in the bedroom floor sometime.
Against All Odds (
http://www.kotorfanmedia.com/?p=1996)
kattalez
As Ebon Hawk leave at the start of KOTOR II, Carth pours out his own angst.
I have been bombarded with people asking me what I thought about a game I didn’t even own since I began this column last October.
A friend bought me a copy of The Sith Lords on the 26th, the day after my birthday, but I have yet to load it. I don‘t know if I have enough room on my hard drive.
But this one piece, with Carth watching his love go into danger without him makes up for everything I have yet to do in that new game.
I immediately recognized ’Take a look at me now’ by Phil Collins, and the music fit the situation better than it did in the movie that used it. I can feel the angst Carth is feeling. Worth not only a second look, but a third and fourth one as well.