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JediMaster12

Latest Posts

Page: 68 of 140
Posted in: [short fic]Star Wars the rise of Darth Plagius
  JediMaster12
09-05-2006, 10:46 PM
#3
Nice start. There are some grammar issues and I think you should have broken it up into more paragraphs. I would have described a bit of the chambers of Plaguis and the feeling of power when he meditated. Maybe you could add the feelings that Sidious...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-13-2006, 4:21 PM
#52
Copy that. The next chapter will be out as soon as I can finish it. Only two people know the rules to the game but they are the rules regarding their own side. Who will come out on top? Harder to answer in this time of uncertainty....  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-12-2006, 12:12 PM
#50
All the conversations are necessary. In the end, it comes down to who knows what, hence you have to get to the heart of deception....  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-12-2006, 3:59 AM
#47
Yes Hk will play babysitter. Believe it of not, the kids like him. Chapter 12 Kirabaros and Atton had eased the pace of their stallions as they came over the last set of hills that led towards the villa. T3 warbled a grateful statement to the change...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-11-2006, 8:19 PM
#45
Yes. HK is exasperated at being in the company of Tulre and Lilah. It will be worse when little Morgan joins in though he's more of the quiet type. HK playing babysitter methinks but that is another story. The next chapter will be out soon....  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-10-2006, 12:15 PM
#42
Chapter 11 “So Tulre told you that Kirabaros would be coming here?” Revan asked Michaela rather interested. They were sitting out in the gardens having tea and watching the children play with Carth and Dustil, who at the moment were trying to cat...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-08-2006, 10:22 PM
#41
Glad that you gents liked this chapter. Did anyone see the reference I made to Pirates of the Caribbean with Draconis and Keegan? I thought the line fit well since they are at opposite ends of the extreme....  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-08-2006, 4:24 PM
#38
Chapter 10 The room was dark, dreary and stank like a wet Bantha. The room was rather small and was full of plasteel canisters and crates that were full of whatever the rust bucket was shipping to Avalon. Jaqrand tried to ignore the smells as he made...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-07-2006, 5:24 PM
#37
igyman: yeah I know. My punctuation can be sloppy. I missed it until I went through the chapter again. Chapter 10 will be up soon. Stay tuned....  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-07-2006, 11:58 AM
#34
More friendly banter between Kirabaros and Atton. I couldn't resist but it is necessary. Chapter 9 Morning at the Academy had Atton finding Kirabaros standing at an at ease position facing the rising sun. Reaching out through the Force Atton could t...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-06-2006, 4:21 PM
#32
Maybe I wanted it that way igyman. ;) Still thanks for playing grammar police. I guess someone has to. I am just having way too much fun with this one. My imagination is running wild with my various baddies. Of all the fics I've read, the baddies don...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-06-2006, 1:03 PM
#29
Chapter 8 It was evening by the time Kirabaros could talk to Karas about his reasons for coming back. Atton had put Morgan to bed and had joined them and T3 was powered down in the corner. Kirabaros felt at ease with the former scoundrel at his back....  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-05-2006, 10:33 PM
#26
I changed the style because the plot that I had planned required the separation of key people and I would have gotten confused as to who was what. Besides, it was easier to get more descriptive in third person. [sneak mode]Maybe someone else is writi...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-05-2006, 12:23 PM
#24
Here's a tender hearted chapter. Yeah I was in the mood to write it. Chapter 7 “How much further?” The voice sounded slightly whiny over the comm. T3 beeped an uncomplimentary replied followed by an ETA. This caused Kirabaros to chuckle. “He...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-04-2006, 1:34 PM
#22
Yeah there's the 'rand' from Atton's name and the Jaq I took from other pieces I have read that claim that Atton's name before he was Atton was Jaq, so it's like a haunting from the past so to speak. Jaqrand isn't actually his real name but he knows...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-04-2006, 4:25 AM
#20
Thanks for all suggestions. This next chapter, well, my imagination ran away with the plot as I tried to develop the tensions that are always around when you make a deal with the devil so to speak. If you notice, I tend to prefer that my main baddies...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
09-03-2006, 12:55 PM
#17
Chapter 5 The festival was lively with the dances and entertainment to welcome the coming of spring. The festival was called the Festival of New Beginnings and was the highlight of all Avalonians. The maiko, or the male artists, were telling the stor...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC]Heart of Deception
  JediMaster12
08-31-2006, 5:51 PM
#15
Yes Pottsie. Remember he changed his name in part 3. He no longer goes by the name his mother gave him. With his people, it is acceptable to go by a new name. Traditionally at coming of age, young children leave behind their childhood and that includ...  [Read More]
Posted in: Tips to a Good Fanfic!
  JediMaster12
09-05-2006, 10:50 PM
#42
Play acting right? That is a good tip for any kind of scene. To add to that sometimes just practicing the handmovements help because whatever yo do with your hands, your lower body responds to. When I think of foot moves, my lower body moves but it i...  [Read More]
Posted in: [Other]StarWars: Diddies
  JediMaster12
09-18-2006, 4:17 PM
#41
Well here is a new one. It is actually comes from my fic Heart of the Guardian. It is an Avalonian song about a flower of all things. The tune though sould be familiar as it comes from another musical. Jasilyn, Jasilyn Every morning you greet me Pur...  [Read More]
Posted in: [Other]StarWars: Diddies
  JediMaster12
09-12-2006, 12:16 PM
#39
Permission...hm...hm... Could I beta it for you before posting it? I'll give you your due credit unless you want to start your own....  [Read More]
Posted in: [Other]StarWars: Diddies
  JediMaster12
09-12-2006, 4:02 AM
#37
@ Maverick: I wouldn't know. I am only familiar with the version on Rocky III @ Hallucination: Always appreciative. I think you may like West Side Story....  [Read More]
Posted in: [Other]StarWars: Diddies
  JediMaster12
09-11-2006, 8:13 PM
#34
*takes a bow* Thank you all. Believe me, I was busting up when I reread those lines. That one I had jogging around in my overactive brain for a long time. It was in there with a disturbing number called "I Feel Evil." Thank you all for bust...  [Read More]
Posted in: [Other]StarWars: Diddies
  JediMaster12
09-10-2006, 12:39 PM
#29
Ok I know it's been awhile since I posted a new diddy but I have a brand new one. It is another number from West Story. The last one was about the Sith and their gang on Dreshdae. This one is about the perks and falls of being on the Ebon Hawk with t...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Critic's 2 cents
  JediMaster12
09-18-2006, 2:25 AM
#386
So mach thinks I'm bland now? Well, we have our good days and our bad days. :D Thanks for the review mach. It was my first attempt at a narrative in the first person. It was also an attempt at creating a culture that exists outside of known space. I...  [Read More]
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