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machievelli

Latest Posts

Page: 39 of 76
Posted in: Umbral Tide: Chapter II: The Vagabond's Inn
  machievelli
10-23-2008, 3:25 PM
#8
(sometimes we writers just let "the Force" flow and darn the torpedoes!) Merged double post--use edit button in the future, etc etc! ;D And I thought my mixed metaphors were bad....  [Read More]
Posted in: Family of Choice
  machievelli
10-23-2008, 10:12 PM
#19
No problem- comments help the writer keep up with what the fans want/like, and what needs fixing. So, you'll be explaining why the planet's government is trying to create a "perfect world?" Not only why but how their 'perfect world' is to...  [Read More]
Posted in: Family of Choice
  machievelli
10-23-2008, 10:53 AM
#17
Excellent work as always! I like Kiara already :p You really portray the honour of the Mando'a marvelously. I can't wait for the Beckets' backstory, and seeing Merisa and Canderous in their younger years. I notice no one spotted the biggest editoria...  [Read More]
Posted in: Family of Choice
  machievelli
10-22-2008, 11:44 PM
#15
Very nice new chapter, Mach. The only mistake that I found was the lack of an ending quotation mark after 'perfect.' I found it a bit odd that Merisa would feel no grief about her family, but besides that the chapter was very well done. I also enjo...  [Read More]
Posted in: Family of Choice
  machievelli
10-22-2008, 12:45 AM
#12
Today The children came out to look at the odd group. The older man motioned as two men, one younger, the other older even than him joined them. “Carth Onasi, Republic Navy Commander. Zaalbar, Mission Vao. Jetiise Jolee, Juhani, Sasha Ot Sulem...  [Read More]
Posted in: Family of Choice
  machievelli
10-20-2008, 11:04 PM
#10
Quite true. That's something that irritates me, as well. Any idea when the next chapter will be ready? My favorite comment on how stupid American Politicians can be is the comment made in 1948 by the American Ambassador to the United Nations when he...  [Read More]
Posted in: Family of Choice
  machievelli
10-19-2008, 11:00 PM
#7
This story is great, I hope you decide to add more. I really enjoy how you made the Mandalorians into human characters that we can relate to and not just, as Tysyacha put it, bloodthirsty humanoid killers. That, and many other values in this story, m...  [Read More]
Posted in: Family of Choice
  machievelli
10-17-2008, 11:06 PM
#1
Family of Choice Aliit ori'shya taldin - Family is more than blood. Merisa sighed, kneeling upright from the weeding. The grain fields were a bronze sheet waving gently in the wind. Her old bones creaked at the labor, but she had learned not to co...  [Read More]
Posted in: Luke Skywalker: Computer Problem
  machievelli
10-17-2008, 3:52 PM
#13
Thanks Lynk and Mr. BFA I expect more from you as well CQ....  [Read More]
Posted in: Luke Skywalker: Computer Problem
  machievelli
10-16-2008, 6:50 PM
#7
removed...  [Read More]
Posted in: Second Rogue, Second Hour: Chapter I
  machievelli
09-25-2008, 2:46 PM
#2
abc...  [Read More]
Posted in: How to understand the Mandalorians:
  machievelli
10-23-2008, 11:02 PM
#5
Interesting history. Kind of an history 'geek' myself, I can't help to feel you have missed something. All your sources are correct (although Greek mythology is...dubious in sourcing), your Samurai story is perfect. The battle of Thermoplae had bee...  [Read More]
Posted in: Beta Volunteers (Read the First Post Before You Post!)
  machievelli
09-17-2008, 11:11 PM
#14
well you all know me, so what can I say? Specialize in all things military from unit size to weapons to tactics to strategy to the military mindset. knowledgeable in intelligence operations from the level of a spy up to Deputy director for operations...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Critic's 2 cents
  machievelli
10-24-2008, 2:04 AM
#905
Coruscant Entertainment Center Descending into Revan's Shadow (Ending to 'Prior to Exile') (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=193074) Darth Yuthura The Mandalorian War to Exile told backwards: The Exile reacts to the council decision. T...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Critic's 2 cents
  machievelli
10-17-2008, 12:36 PM
#902
You mean there's always one person who's just having a bit of innocent fun with a new guy and letting him know that we're all pretty laid back people around here so he should feel comfortable having fun? something like that...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Critic's 2 cents
  machievelli
10-17-2008, 2:44 AM
#900
Coruscant Entertainment Center Umbral Tide: Chapter I: Secret Mission, Secret Ally (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=192978) Tysyacha Non SW: Continuation of Umbral Tide, Rescue from certain death, or is it? I find myself hoping Tsyyach...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Critic's 2 cents
  machievelli
10-10-2008, 9:20 PM
#899
I was under the impression that the Mandalorians would enslave their victims if they had not fought to the death. Juhani described her homeworld being destroyed and made it seem as though only thousands escaped death. I'm really going off that and th...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Critic's 2 cents
  machievelli
10-09-2008, 11:45 PM
#897
Coruscant Entertainment Center Prior to Exile (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=192726) Darth Yuthura Before the Mandalorian Wars: As Malak tries to gain recruits, he faces resistance from his fellow Jedi. Some cumbersome sentences, the...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Critic's 2 cents
  machievelli
10-08-2008, 11:59 PM
#895
Could you please re-review my fic, mach? :) did you want a retrospective review (I.E., after correction) or just a pm with my new version?...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Critic's 2 cents
  machievelli
10-03-2008, 12:09 AM
#892
Coruscant Entertainment Center The Conspiracy (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=192482) Revan411 Non SW: An assassination is only the beginning. The piece is short and choppy. The dialogue and action feels forced. Problems with punctuat...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Critic's 2 cents
  machievelli
09-26-2008, 7:42 PM
#891
Yes, it is a follow-up to Vremya, and for this character, the "new PC", the only basic thing I want from the character is that s/he is no Uberjedi at the beginning. S/he is a humble neonate, "starting at level 1" in gamespeak, who...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Critic's 2 cents
  machievelli
09-26-2008, 12:16 PM
#888
Thus I award you the "Vremenist's Prize" for taking so much time and effort to review every single darn chapter! It's more than just a "kudos", however, for if you choose to accept it, I need--a character--in my KOTOR III fic: Wo...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Critic's 2 cents
  machievelli
09-26-2008, 1:16 AM
#885
And my dvd recorder is not working… Anyone interested in making discs of Clone Wars for me? Coruscant Entertainment Center Evil Transformation (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=192285) LordOfTheFish Before PM: A young Jedi reaches...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Critic's 2 cents
  machievelli
09-19-2008, 1:57 AM
#884
Coruscant Entertainment Center Flame of the Guardian (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=191979) JediMaster12 Spanning millennia: The birth of a sword. The piece is interesting, and while I agree that the symbolism is jarring, I like the...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Critic's 2 cents
  machievelli
09-14-2008, 12:41 AM
#883
Thanks for the welcome and the compliment, mach! :D I'll try to figure a way to edit in the correct info about Ryloth. Sorry about that! If you check my previous reviews, the things I bang people on are technical (500 man squads? Give me a break!)...  [Read More]
Page: 39 of 76