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Jae Onasi

Latest Posts

Page: 82 of 98
Posted in: The Sith Lord
  Jae Onasi
05-31-2006, 5:50 PM
#98
Okay. Just to let you know, most of the next Chapter will just be parts from JA. This is a Chapter for those who don't know about JA. Just work little parts from JA into your story every now and then when it's relevent (and if you start a new fic ba...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Sith Lord
  Jae Onasi
05-31-2006, 4:54 PM
#92
Thanks Jae. I think if I have time, I may edit some Chapters and describe Kyle, Jaden and all the other Characters who some may not know from JA. Battles are a bit boring when I write them (It's because I don't write very good Battles). The dialogue...  [Read More]
Posted in: The Sith Lord
  Jae Onasi
05-31-2006, 10:57 AM
#88
I've read through it, and had some thoughts on things to improve (none of which are a huge deal) and things I like. First, make sure to add more line breaks. Double space between each change of speaker when you're doing dialog. It makes it much easi...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC][WIP] A Warrior's Exile
  Jae Onasi
05-25-2006, 11:52 PM
#6
I'm one of those people whose eyes are not the greatest in the world. Could you go to 'edit post' and add spaces between each new paragraph and each time you change characters speaking? I had this same issue when I started posting mine so don't feel...  [Read More]
Posted in: [Other]StarWars: Diddies
  Jae Onasi
05-25-2006, 2:48 PM
#9
^ :lol: The song 'Eye of the Tiger' came out _long_ before Eminem was ever on the scene. Eminem was only 9 or 10 when Survivor wrote/sang it. It's Eminem reusing it, not the other way around. Fun lyrics!! I can so hear the song in my head. :D...  [Read More]
Posted in: Star Wars: Republic Dawn
  Jae Onasi
05-23-2006, 11:56 AM
#122
Once you get it going right, though, you'll be amazed at how fast everything seems. I switched over to Firefox for the browser--works better for LF, seems to load a little faster. The tabbed browsing is cool, too--I don't have a bunch of open window...  [Read More]
Posted in: Star Wars: Republic Dawn
  Jae Onasi
05-22-2006, 9:38 AM
#117
Glad to see you back in writing action. I was beginning to despair of another chapter, it had been so long. Well, maybe not _that_ long, but long enough. :) One thing--this paragraph stops abruptly: "He was a little irked to discover that the...  [Read More]
Posted in: [Fic] The Galactic Scream
  Jae Onasi
05-24-2006, 6:40 AM
#19
I think you have a good start. The action sequences are interesting and make me feel some of the urgency and danger. There are a few things you could do that would help to improve readability. First, add more line breaks. This is the same issue I h...  [Read More]
Posted in: Concept Drawings
  Jae Onasi
05-22-2006, 4:39 PM
#43
^I pictured him in a lime green suit with a hot pink lightning bolt line across the chest. Different visions, eh? Lime green suit yes, if it goes well with his skin tone, but he has more taste than a hot pink lightning bolt. ;P...  [Read More]
Posted in: Concept Drawings
  Jae Onasi
05-22-2006, 4:11 PM
#41
Stay tuned. I am working on my 'Pimp Daddy' Twilek. If you read Jae's fanfic, you will catch my meaning. Hope you enjoyed the show :D I like the drawings. I picture "Pimp Daddy" a little thicker than your characters here--a little stocki...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
05-31-2006, 7:54 AM
#250
I do have to say that they all did get sober before delivering a baby.... :)...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
05-31-2006, 12:53 AM
#247
Well, it's been a busy couple of weeks. Traveling went very well, the event last weekend was fabulous, and I've finished almost all my current projects. Dad is out of the hospital and doing well, if tired. My cat is recovering nicely. So, I had a bi...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
05-26-2006, 1:33 AM
#245
Yay for lappys XD (sorry im in a random mood today) anyway this would make a great comic (if only it was allowed) :) I am seriously artistically impaired. :) I appreciate great art very much, but I cannot do it myself. My penmenship is better in Ar...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
05-24-2006, 11:14 PM
#243
I have to finish a project for a friend this weekend and am flying to TX for an event, so I probably won't have a chapter for you til Sun/Mon earliest, unless the muse strikes while I'm on the plane and I get some internet access somewhere. Gotta lov...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
05-24-2006, 7:43 AM
#241
Silly Hallucination, I did know 2nd person exists. I just didn't want to confuse him, because it's used so very little, almost never. In fact, I didn't even know about the books you mentioned. So, you get partial credit for the correction. :D...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
05-23-2006, 5:42 PM
#239
No offense taken--both places meet different needs/wants. I'm behind at kfm--lurked there awhile before I started posting. I'm trying to get caught up there, and I agree, it does have a 'cleaner read'. Not that I dislike the comments here, mind you....  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
05-23-2006, 2:04 PM
#237
Great two chapters Jae. I am so enjoying this love story :) Oh did I mention I am enjoying the mystery and the action flick as well? How do you find the time to write so much? Seriously! Oh well, keep up the great work. As usual you have Jolee pegged...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
05-23-2006, 7:51 AM
#235
Thanks, folks. @JM12--would you believe I've never seen Titanic? Since I already know the end, I couldn't bear to watch. Too depressing, even with the love story. Humorous note--my husband went to the show (I was away at a conference or we would hav...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
05-23-2006, 12:47 AM
#231
Chapter 24: Ship Registries “So, just who is De’layn?” I asked, looking over at Jolee with a raised brow as we left the cantina to make our way back to the Osprey for the dinner with Carth. “She’s a female Twi’lek, attractive I might a...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
05-22-2006, 3:13 PM
#230
"Suck the marrow out of life...." Go for it! Sounds like a good one for the latest kfm challenge.... :D...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
05-21-2006, 11:00 PM
#228
@cm--definitely would have to be a very special type of woman for him--I totally agree with you on that. error 1--had them looking for Dycen'a's false ship registry, so I had to explain why they'd be chasing down a registry on a ship that's laying...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
  Jae Onasi
05-21-2006, 6:35 PM
#223
^ As long as the laundry is clean. I'd hate to know that a Bindo prize is perched atop a pile of dirty, smelly undershirts. You have to have respect for these things, you know. :D...  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] Star wars: Heart of the Guardian
  Jae Onasi
05-23-2006, 1:00 PM
#63
The battle looms closer.... I like the suspense building....  [Read More]
Posted in: [Fic] The crystal of life.
  Jae Onasi
05-31-2006, 11:15 AM
#174
Aw, man, now I have to wait for the resolution of the cliffhanger! :D Go, Linduu. I like how you build up the drama....  [Read More]
Posted in: [FIC] Hidden Shades of Grey
  Jae Onasi
05-26-2006, 12:27 AM
#100
I've really enjoyed these last 2 chapters. Nice twist with Kye. I like how you do Mission's character--sassy, trusting but yet pretty worldly-wise for a teen, and still making the occasional teen mistakes....  [Read More]
Page: 82 of 98