...."But how meesa gonna dooza that" asked Jar Jar....
..."Jeed-ai bein miza friendsas" ....
....then George Lucas yelled 'Cut !' and Ahmed Best went home.
.....Enraged by George Lucas' apparent lack of faith in his acting, Darth Sidious.....
This is the weirdest story i've ever heard, why Jar Jar? How about some adventure with han solo? It starts out with him crashing into a planet (before he owned the falcon) and he must survive...............
Hey! No breaking the chain! :p
...Sidious fried Lucas with Force lightning. Or at least he thought he did...(since Lucas is immune ;) ) and when the smoke cleared...
It was the most horrible sight ever The San Diego Funky Chicken!
So then, Lucas got his special effects guys to draw in some lighting to fry Sidious. But Sidious.......
...absorbed the Force energy from the lightning and deflected it towards the special effects guys. Meanwhile, Jar Jar...
Was trying to go to the bathroom in a bush but someone...
....had already claimed that area to excrete waste
"oops exqueeze me"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH"
....The person behind the bush then got infuriated...This was bad luck for Jar Jar cause the person was.....
Harrisson Ford , he was so mad that he....
...called Chewbacca. He told Jar Jar: This Wookie can tear you arms apart, so Jar Jar...
... said,
"mesa hatin crunchin...Dats de last thing dat mesa wantin"
Then Han...
told Chewie to stop, that there would be a better time... The princess you must take care of her, uh? Han said, so Jar Jar started to cry, reacting to this Boba Fett...
Shot himself in the head with a carbonite gun out of depression.
but he recovered and incased Han in carbonite....then he proceded to decentigrate Jar Jar...Then a party was held, but there was no laughter for Han was incased in carbonite....Now Han's hope only is....
Luke turns down her ballerina carreer so he can be a Jedi, and go to...
Slaughter any ballerina that outpreforms him...Meanwhile...Han's only hope is...
Grand Admiral Thrawn!!! Leia didn't like this at all so she phoned...
Max the bunnie...When max heard of the trouble Han was in he quickly got his auto-conc and...
...a psychiatrist. Lord knows she needs it with a story like this.
Suddenly "Hello meesa not dead yet!"
so Jar Jar went to the Mos Eisley cantina for a drink...
...meanwhile Max the bunny and his companion set off...When they reached Boba Fett's hideout, they sinced that they were falling into a trap...Their hunch was right...Boba Fett had secretly....
been dating Queen Amidala, so he was Naboo King, thing Senator Palpatine didn't know...
Fett used Naboo's militia against max the bunny...however max's auto-conc was to strong for them so they were forced to....
flee to the previuosly abandoned Echo Base at Hoth, there they found...
The one armed wampa...he offered them help because Han saved Luke after Luke cut his arm off...then the one armed wampa invited them all to dinner where they ate taun taun and plotted to....
play Star Wars Escrabble, only Star Wars words were accepted, although...
....and that's when the Wampa collapsed from pure shame of being involved in a thread like this.
Then Max the Rabbit came and chopped the Wampa's other arm off.
Max had been taking kung fu before he karate chopped off the wampa's other arm. Then out of nowhere came the Naboo ninja's and....."everybody was kung fu fighting" then....
the radio fell over and it turned to the Oldies but Goodies station and started playing...
Then when the smoke cleared...er smoke from the er....smoke grenades....anyway....when the smoke cleared....There stood...
no one but then they heard someone yelling and they turned around and there stood...
NO ONE....DUM DUM DUM....Both sides stopped fighting...then they realized the truth...HOTH WAS HAUNTED...MUWAHAHAHAHAH
Then, the ground started shaking and soon, A qiant crack formed at the feet of..
the physciatrist...The crack widened and he fell into the abyss(Because of this, Leia later went mentally insane)... Then Max realized he had let the phsyciatrist borrow the auto-conc... The Naboo ninjas realizing this started to...
RUN, AND RUN WITH ALL DUE SPEED. But then suddenly a screeching battle cry pierced the air, and then the Gungan army came. Thousands of Gungans on kaadus with spears and slings and glowing blue balls marched to the battle. Leading the army was Jar Jar, in a dark jedi robe. Jar Jar glared at the Naboo knights and our heroes. He said quietly, in an evil tone....
"Wipe them out. All of them."
As it turned out...It was Sidious under the cloak...he had force persuaded everyone into thinking he was Jar Jar(that was the only way he could control the gungan army)...As the gungans charged they forgot about the widening crack in the snowy rock of Hoth, and they all fell in...Outraged at the stupidity of his inslaved gungans Sidious....
But then Luke yells, "You shoe's untied" and even though they don't were shoes, all the Gungans looked down at there feet, which caused them all to fall off their rides and break there necks. "That takes care of that nuisance", Luke says while turning back to see leia starting to...
Bash people on the head with ice sickles(she had gone insane by that time)Meanwhile Sidious inraged by the gungan stupidity....
had wet himself. and that made him even more mad so he took off his...
diapers....Then he started to cry....
Suddenly...out of nowhere....came a ghastly voice(from one of the ghosts)...It was the voice of...
... mask, revealing that he WAS Jar Jar! He ignited his lightsaber and prepared for battle!
diapers....Then he started to cry....
Suddenly...out of nowhere....came a ghastly voice(from one of the ghosts)...It was the voice of...
(was first :p)
The real leia. The crazy leia who was now to the point of stripping had only been a clone!! The real leia demanded that Luke remove the clone leia but Luke suggested that they should let her finish what she was doing but then....
Considering that I am the TOPIC STARTER, of one of the BEST TOPICS ON THIS FORUM OF ALL TIME , I think that my idea of Sidious taking off the mask is correct plot. You know you want it. Plus Sidious is some weirdo anyway who had 7 total seconds of screen time in Episode 1...
cast the clone into the dark abyss... Luke and leia then freed Han from the carbonite...The one-armed wampa still wanted vengence on Luke and Han so he started....