Heh, no problem, Hallucination. I'm a girl, actually. Yeah. A KotOR story with a male Revan and Exile, written by a chick. A bit odd, no?
Anyway...
I'VE FINISHED!!!
It took me forever, but the next chapter is finally here...almost 2,000 words...1,998, to be exact...:D
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---Chapter Twelve---
As the ship rocketed through hyperspace, Briana and Elron were in the east dormitory. The man stood leaning against the wall as his apprentice finished putting her things in a footlocker beneath a bunk. They had been silent for the past few moments, a thoughtful look on the Exile’s face.
“Something bothers you?” the Handmaiden asked, looking over her shoulder at him momentarily.
“No, no…well…not bothers…exactly.”
“Oh? Did you want to talk?”
“Err…yeah, actually. I was just thinking…about the Jedi and the Code.”
“What about it?”
“Well…the life of a Jedi is sacrifice…but what if it didn’t have to be? I thought that perhaps taking on the challenge of finding the Masters would…I dunno, light a path for me, make it easier to distance myself from others and make the Light easier to follow. In fact, it was just the opposite.
“It’s harder. A hell of a lot harder. Even just the journey has made it harder. Instead of being able to shrug people off without a second thought, I’ve been developing close relationships and…attachments…with my companions…including you.”
“Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments. It is one of the sacrifices we make…isn’t it?”
“Yes, yes! And that’s what’s driving me crazy!” Elron stood straight, walking over to the side of the room opposite the door and placed his palms against it, resting his forehead against the cold metal. “I know…I know the Jedi path isn’t an easy one. It wasn’t meant to be. But…to think that something so wonderful…so beautiful…as friendship…or even love for that matter…can lead to the Dark Side is a bit hard for me to believe. The Jedi teach compassion and understanding…what’s the difference? That’s what I want to…” Elron paused a moment, turning back to his apprentice, who was watching him intently, apparently hanging on his words. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about this with you…Hell, I shouldn’t even be thinking about this. Just forget I’ve said anything.”
“No, go on…please.”
Elron studied her. She really did seem to care…
He turned to the small windows in the side wall, watching as the stars outside whizzed by at light-speed. “Why should I follow the Jedi’s Code anyway? The Council’s dead. Most of it, anyway. Vrook. Zez-Kai-Ell. Cavar. All gone. Besides, what did the Council do for me? Cut me off from the Force because I was standing for what I believed in? Banished me to the Outer Rim because I saved thousands of innocent lives and systems? I don’t owe them anything. Not happiness. Not trust. Not loyalty. And especially not obedience.” he faced her again, continuing on. He had gotten started, and he wasn’t going to stop until he finished. These feelings had been bottled up in my chest for long enough, he thought as he strode over to Briana. “It is possible to not be a Jedi, nor a Sith. There is a center point. A Gray Jedi. You wouldn’t have to adhere to the Council’s annoying code, you wouldn’t have to sacrifice anything. But you wouldn’t have to fall, to give into your emotions all the time.”
“If I could ask…” the Handmaiden asked, acutely aware of how close they were, “What led you to these thoughts?”
Before Elron could stop himself, he had taken her hands in his, “You, Briana.”
“Me? But…I…” she backed away slightly, trying to stop herself from blushing furiously. It didn’t work.
“You were one of the first people I knew I could trust…in a long time. And to know that you trusted me in return…enough to break your oaths to Atris…it meant a lot to me.” He advanced on her again, and this time, she didn’t back away.
“Elron…” she said, pronouncing his name slowly, “we shouldn’t…”
“But we can, Briana, we can. No one will know. No one will care. The Jedi are taught to show compassion to others. Are love and compassion not one in the same?”
The Handmaiden still looked uncomfortable, and refused to meet his gaze. What is he thinking? Can he…can he be right?
“Listen…” the man touched her chin lightly, turning her face toward him so that she was forced to look him in the eye, “I know what you’re afraid of, but believe me when I say that I will do absolutely everything in my power to protect you. No harm will come to you while I am here.”
“But…” the young apprentice began, but her master interrupted.
Elron pulled her closer, his hand finding its way to her cheek, “Please…” Were they really that close? “Trust me.”
Her lips were warm and inviting, and before he had realized it, he had leaned forward. He now felt her soft touch caressing his lips as he wrapped his arms around her. She did like wise, one hand catching at his shirt, the other clutching the hair at the back of his neck. Her lips parted as his tongue explored the inside of her mouth and their bodies touched. Everything felt so good…so right. His heart beat in his chest, threatening to break his ribs and his blood pumped in his ears like a drum. How could anything like this ever lead to the Dark Side? he wondered.
All too soon, the two separated, slowly at first, their lips hovering hardly a centimeter apart as both regained their breath. Elron opened his eyes, and met Briana’s eyes. Her face was lit with happiness and she was reveling in the feeling…but her eyes said different.
“We…we probably shouldn’t have done that…” she said.
“What did you feel?” he asked softly, still catching his breath.
“I felt…happier than I’ve been in years…It was…amazing…”
“But how did it feel? Did that kiss feel wrong to you?”
She paused before responding, “No…it didn’t…”
Briana backed away from her master, “I…I am needed.” she said simply, and was gone.
The Exile leaned against the wall again, reliving the kiss in his mind. Had he really just done that? He touched his lips, the feeling of her own still fresh. How can love be evil?
* * *
Briana came down the corridor, entering the cockpit where Bastila and Revan were talking. Feeling slightly guilty for interrupting, she said, “Excuse me, Bastila?”
Both chairs swiveled to face her. “Could I speak with you? In private?”
Bastila and Revan shared a quick glance, and she smiled. “Of course.”
The Jedi stood, and led the Handmaiden to an empty room: the cargo hold. Bastila closed the door after Briana, then turned to her. “You seem distressed. Are you alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I mean, no, I’m not. I…I don’t know.” she said with an exasperated sigh.
“What’s wrong?” Bastila asked gently, sitting down on a crate and motioning for the second woman to sit on one across from her.
The Echani sat, saying “I’m…confused, at best.”
“At least you have the sense to admit it.” Bastila said, “There are many Jedi greater than yourself that cannot see through their pride enough to say such a thing.”
“Well…I’m not sure many Jedi besides myself must deal with such a problem as mine…Master Shan…I think I’m in love.”
This took Bastila aback. She wasn’t expecting anything along those lines. She masked her feelings quickly, however, as the Handmaiden continued.
“The Exile is just so…intriguing. He’s brave, strong, smart…and quite handsome…I find myself watching him when I don’t mean to, thinking of him when I don’t want to…”
The young brunette began wondering if she was right to try and guide the Handmaiden. Had she not said those same words five years ago to Revan?
“I know I shouldn’t…the Council forbids it…but…I can’t help it. Oh, I need help, Bastila, and I don’t know who else to turn to!” the woman was near tears by now.
Bastila reached forward and rested her hand on the Handmaiden’s thigh reassuringly. “It…is a difficult decision to make.” she admitted, “The choice between the love of another or the acceptance of the Jedi Council…” she paused, unsure where to go from there. “I…I’m not the one who you should seek guidance from. It isn’t my place. The only thing I can say…is listen to your heart.”
* * *
“Alright guys, we’re coming up on Manaan!” Atton’s voice sounded through the comm. system that was on in every room of the ship, “Up and at ‘em, into the central room, let’s go!”
In moments, everyone had gathered around the floating holoprojection of the water planet.
“So then…where to start.” Revan said, resting against the machine. He punched in a few commands and the holo zoomed in on the single city on Manaan’s surface. “Ahto City. Probably one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen. Except for the annoying Selkath law enforcement, it’s a really nice vacation spot.” he said with a smile. “This will be the beginning. The question is: where does the beginning begin?”
“We’ll defiantly cover more ground if we split into groups, rather than hang around in a big pack all day. People will be less suspicious of only two or three people anyway.” Elron said.
“True. Mira and me can check out any local cantinas.” Atton said.
“Bastila, Carth, and I can go to the Selkath courts. We’re…well known there.” Revan added.
“I guess that Visas, Handmaiden, and myself can scout any shops and listen to the word on the streets.” Elron said.
“I, Tee-three, and Ach-kay can stay on the ship.” Bao-Dur said, “There are some repairs that I’ve been meaning to get to…”
“Okay then, that’s settled-” the Exile began, but Bastila cut him off.
“Perhaps we should keep more than just Bao-Dur and the droids on the ship. While trouble isn’t often found on Manaan, it’s more than likely that we’ll catch the notice of some…distasteful people. We may need someone with medical experience immediately. Handmaiden? Would you mind staying behind with the others?”
“Oh, of course not…” she said, ignoring the glance that Elron shot her.
“Good. We’re good to go. Everyone, get prepped to leave ASAP.” Revan said, and left to gather his things. The others dispersed as well, Bastila and Handmaiden pausing to share a meaningful look.
* * *
“What was that about?” Revan asked as he pulled the shirt of his brown Jedi Robes over his head.
“What was what about?” Bastila answered, taking a shield and wrapping the band around her wrist.
“Back there, with the Handmaiden. You were rather quick to have her stay here.” he said as he pulled his belt around his waist.
“Oh…you mean Elron hasn’t come to talk to you?”
“No, why?”
Bastila finished attaching her lightsaber to her belt, then looked at him and said, “They’re in love.”
Revan was just as surprised as she was when the young Knight had heard it. “In love?”
“Yes, Handmaiden came and talked to me about it earlier.”
“What did you tell her?”
“That’s the problem, I wasn’t sure what to say. She was begging me for help, Revan, she had tears in her eyes…yet I would not be the one to guide her. Look at me. She was asking me to point her in the right direction…how could I? She didn’t want to betray the Jedi Council, but she did love him…and I’m not in position to forbid her from seeing him…I would be a hypocrite…”
“I see…” Revan said as he finished pulling on gloves. “It’s a hard decision indeed…but what did you tell her?”
“I told her to listen to her heart. It’s what I have done,” she came closer to him, tracing a finger across his chest, “and it hasn’t proven me wrong yet.”
* * *
The ship lurched to a halt as the pistons on the landing gear fired and the Hawk set down. As the loading ramp was lowered to the deck, Revan walked down it, stepping into the Manaan sunlight. Bastila and Carth joined him shortly after. “Well…” he said, looking first at Carth, then at Bastila, “Here we go, on another whirl-wind adventure.”
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