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Coruscant Lower City Gerris Veltar stared at the target from a neighboring building. He had been hunting this one for around 3 days now. The target was a Rodian known as Zeedo, he had recently swindled Black Sun into a bad deal. He was also wanted... [Read More]
Not a bad start at all, though I think that you might have rushed a tad in some areas. There was one error that I pointed out though: I expect that you meant won't. Yes, I meant won't:D Thanks for the observation! I'll make the correction right aw... [Read More]
Galactic Civil War, 6 Months before the Battle of Endor Outer Rim near the Karatos Star near the Unknown Regions Crystal Mining Base 1189 Command Bridge 0900 hours Commander Erren Vilrus stood staring into the bright void that was te Karatos Star.... [Read More]
Excellent work nonetheless, Mr. BFA!! Very very good job!! You are quite the artist as you are quite the poet as well! Many talents indeed:D!... [Read More]
@Mr. BFA Thanks for the corrections, Mr. BFA I'll correct as soon as possible:D @Fish Thanks Fish! Yeah, I think I'll continue with Vey and Valez, I'll probably add more characters but Vey and Valez are key characters right now:D... [Read More]
Thanks Anduril!!:D I shall make the corrections as soon as possible:D I am glad to know that I have gained you as a RAVING FAN!:D The next chap shall come soon!:D... [Read More]
Thanks everyone for the feedback! Now for the next chap.... Vey stepped around the bodies and parts of the Seps he'd just taken out. His armor had become covered in grime, oil, and a liquid that he couldn't identify. It didn't matter though, so Ve... [Read More]
Vlad was taken by surprise when Attriana went down. He dropped as well, in instinct, and began searching for the sniper. The he gathered his senses. "Doc! Get over here!" The Medic ran over and began to examine the wound. Vlad stood again... [Read More]
Yuri hesitated, "You know, I'm not much for vengeance. There's definately a way of things for those type of people. Eventually a person's past can catch up with them, and that will be a ton more efficient than a bullet to the head. Thanks for th... [Read More]
Durrel walked into the room where the others were and observed quietly. They were probably about to engage in some sort of practice duel it would seem. To Durrel, this would be most interesting to see, not only for the fight itself, but he'd be obser... [Read More]
Excellent work, Mr. BFA:D The first work was very good, very excellent, very emotional:D Very good in my opinion, I listend to sad music with both...you definately mastered the emotional ability in these poems. The Second work's 'story' sort've caugh... [Read More]
Granted, but then somebody sues you and you can't pay the fee forced upon you=prison...for psychos. I wish I had a lie detector that worked.... [Read More]
Granted, but everybody is driven crazy by the sudden change. I wish I had machine-gun capable of over 10,000 rounds a second....and fires marshmallows.... [Read More]
Granted, but your first officer says there's an iceberg ahead, but you want to follow the star, so you run into the iceberg....and sink. I wish I had the...."BISMARCK!"... [Read More]
Granted, but you have nothing else to put on except socks...and you've been invited to a formal dinner with the King. I wish I was a member of His Majesty's Royal Commandoes... [Read More]
Granted, but after you convince the nation of your Doctorness, a smart person points out that you're not, and an angry mob attacks you. I wish I had a Thompson Fully-automatic machine gun.... [Read More]
Granted, but you become a tablechair, and how your Father is a sofa, no one knows. I wish I was know as Lord Q, Son of King Q, Grandson of Super Q, who is son of Bob Q.... [Read More]
Granted, but it lasts around 50 minutes....the amount of time before the nexk Nuke reaches its target. I wish I had a funny monkey friend.... [Read More]
Thanks Mach! I will gladly take your advice and polish until smooth:D I think I have finally achieved some sort of "Band of Brothers" feel with the story, but there is a bit to go still, so we'll see:D Thanks Again!... [Read More]