"You know that guy who blew up the Death Star?
Who? The geek with the bad haircut? Yeah I know him."
-Random pilot to Wedge Antilles in a deleted scene of Episode V
"Drop your pants! I said drop 'em." - Battle Droid to Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi , Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.
"The Needs of the Many, outweigh the needs of my poo" -Original Spock Death Scene, set in the Toilet of the USS Enterprise
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We shall fight them on the beaches! We shall fight them in the fields! We shall fight them at Tea Time!! Well, maybe not....
-Winston Churchill's famous speech, before proofreading....
"POINDEXTERRRRRRRR!" -Capt Kirk, Original script of Star Trek II, before name change of main villain to 'Khan'
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Kirk: Beam me up, Scotty.
Scotty: No.
-Original Script of Star Trek, with original Scotty actor, who was later fired due to not following script.
"The world will look up and shout 'Save us!' and I'll whisper, 'I just farted'" - Rorschach, Two and a Half Watchmen
"GIVE ME LIBERTY!! OR GIVE ME TEA!!"
-Patrick Henry's fateful first attempt at a speech, the English gladly sent him tea.
"GIVE ME LIBERTY AND LET ME PEE!" The Bladder to the Kidney, after a long night of drinking
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"Four Score and Seven Years ago, our forefather's won some land in the New World in a game of dice...."
-First Draft of Abe Lincoln's Gettysburg address, was burned shortly after
"She must have hidden the plans in the mini bar...hic.... good work commander...hic.... I will deal with this myself....hic...." -Drunk Vader, Darth Vader's unreliable assistant. Cut after third draft of A New Hope.
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Tattoine, Tusken Raider Camp
Shmi Skywalker: ANNIE!!
Anakin: ARGH!! STOP CALLING ME THAT!!! *Swings lightsaber*
-Original Dark Side script for Episode II: Attack of the Clones, written by George Lucas shortly before being locked in a room.
''General Kenobi...years ago you sliced up my father in the clone wars....'' -Holo Leia who knew the truth
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Luke: Is Darth Vader my father?
Dying Yoda: Well? Tell you what, did he? Hmpf. Believe him not do you? HMPF. Fine Father-son relationship you have...
Luke: Yoda!! He chopped off my hand!
Yoda: It's imperative you understand...he's your father! He's yo father!!! *Breaks down into wrap song*
-Original Death scene, George Lucas thought it would lighten the mood, someone burned the script shortly after reading
"The dark side of the Force is the pathway to many abilities, like the ability to kick some serious ass!" - Palpatine
Obi: "That's no moon."
Luke: *busts out laughing* Of course not!! It doesn't have the other side!!
Han: Idiot.
C-3P0: Sometimes I just don't understand human behavior...
Chewbacca: RROAAR!!
-Deleted scene, was considered to stupid to be even documented.
"And then they made me their chef." - Jack Sparrow
Sallah: What? You were named after the dog?! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Dr. Henry Jones Sr: As a matter of fact! He was! HAHAHAAH!
Indiana Jones: I hate my name.
-Original ending to The Last Crusade
"Sooooo.... you have a twin sister. Youre feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Im all robotic in the pants area y'know....." -Darth Vader. Deleted Dialogue. ROTJ:SE
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"Yo....dis party is OVAAAHHHHHHHHHH"
-Original Mace Windu dialogue, George Lucas wanted to convey some culture via a purple lightsaber..
"Thats it kiss her... mmmm... she's your sister, but Im not tellin you yet... mmmmm...."
-Thoughts of a perverted young George Lucas when Leia smooches with Luke on Hoth base Medical Bay
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc288/Astrotoy7/Kissin.jpg)
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Han: When Luke gets back, I won't get in the way...
Leia: No, it's not like that, he's my brother....
Han: *totally surprise and is thinking hard* Wait....that means....and the Hoth kiss.......EEEEHHHHH!!!! *Throws up and runs away*
-The second script George Lucas wrote, trying to convey how someone would really react
"As the new Grand Chancellor of The Republic, my first act will be to create a Grand Army of Hot Twilek College Girl Mudwrestlers, and make a holo-vid of them 'Going Wild'
-Chancellor Palpatine. AOTC. Sealed Edition.
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"As you can see...the Jedi attack has left me scarred and deformed.....but no matter! Plastic surgery will do the job!"
-Emperor Palpatine's original Inaugaration of the Empire speech
Amidala:" So this is how idiot-ocracy dies, with thunderous applause. "
Butt-Head: Uhh sewage? That doesn't come out of the ground, it comes from, like toilets. Uh-huhuh.
(continue it if you know the episode)
Obi-Wan's voice: Luke....use the force....
Luke: Hmm? What was that?
Obi-Wan's voice: I said....use the force....
Luke: I'm sorry...there's a voice in my head...what did you say?
Obi-Wan's voice: ARRGGGHHHH!!! USE THE FORCE, DAG NAMMIT!!
-Deleted scene from A New Hope
'Oota Goota Supa Computa Solo" -Greedo Scene with Han Solo as droid
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Boba Fett: He's no good to me dead...
Darth Vader: Don't worry, he's no good to us dead either....
Boba Fett: Woah.....that was not planned...
-Boba Fett trying to work his extra pay scheme, deleted scene
*Vader kneels before a holoprojection of The Emperor*
http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc288/Astrotoy7/empholo.jpg)
"What is thy bidding, my master?"
"Lord Vader, there is a great disturbance in the Force"
"I have felt it, Master"
"We have a knew enemy, Larry the Laxative Clown"
"But...he is just a clown"
"He could destroy us both...my cloak would be soiled, and your leg circuits would fry"
"If he could be turned.........he would become a powerful ally"
"Can it be done?"
"He will join us, or our butts become pies, Master...."
-Day 124. Shooting Script Notes. TESB.
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"Give a man a fish, and he'll stink up the whole town. Give a man a fishing rod, and he'll poke your eye out."
"Why is it that everything that goes up, comes down? It's because nothing freakin' flys yet!!"
Sir Isaac Newton's first theory on gravity
"Thank God we smell like sh*t already."
anonymous French soldier in 1940.
"Men! When we charge...we....ummm....CHARGE!"
-Napoleon Bonaparte, Battle of Waterloo, probably the reason he lost
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a flying f*ck."
Original last line of Gone With The Wind.
Vader: Luke, I am your Father!
Luke: Now that my friend, is total bull.
Vader: Well, not exactly...you see
-Original Father-Son sequence of Ep. 5, there was a reason the writer was hanged shortly afterward.
"I shall....hey quit mugging for the camera, gdmanit, this is serious....return."
-Next to last take of MacArthur's pledge to return to the Philippines.
Life suck and then you...uhhh... wait...what was that last part?
Unknown clichee...and I'm worse than it b/c I'm a dumbass who got wrong...ON PURPOSE!
Rats! Oh Rats! (dives into the pile of hay in my garbage can)
Admiral Yamamoto: I believe all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and filled him with a terrible resolve.
Personal Assistant: *looks at paper* That wasn't on the script.
Admiral Yamamoto: Well, duh, of course it's not on the script. I'm trying to improvise..do you think I should turn this way, this is my good angle......
-Original un-documented saying by Admiral Yamamoto after the Attack at Pearl Harbor, there was a reason he didn't become a movie star.
"The Force will be with you, sometimes."
To be or not to be....say, who wrote this sh*t anyway?
In the name of the galactic senate of...wait a sec. Hey Kit, in what name are we arresting him for again?
"Bite me."
Fred's last words before the zombies got him.
Senator Palpatine, congratulations on your election....
Your highness, it was nothing, really nothing, nothing at all...nothing nothing nothing....ahhh....nothing...
Shutup.
Queen Amidala and Senator Palpatine deleted scene
"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —President George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
If at first you don't succeed...uhh, try or something.
---GTA :D
"Well, am I right, or am I right? Or right? Or if you don't like that....right."
-Ahem.....
"The brown pants, boy. The brown pants."
unknown French admiral at the battle of Trafalgar.
Uhh, come to...me.
--disgruntled fat walmart worker behind on B&B.
"Sir, the enemy is requesting our surrender."
"Tell them.......give us 5 minutes...."
-Unknown American General during the Battle of the Bulge, his troops quickly rebelled.
"You posted in your own profile. Instant death."
--Totenkopf