What the blazes have I gotten myself into? Lite was pacing about in her assigned room not comfortable with the fact that she had put herself in the hands of people she didn’t know; people convinced that they were on a mission to save the blasted galaxy, as if she cared.
I should be on a freighter off this lousy world. Not in some place with five brats and an old man!
Lite continued to pace. She let her eyes wander around looking for any and all potential means of escape. It was a habit cultivated from her years at the Academy, looking for ways to get out of the dormitories and the grounds without the guards looking. It was how she had managed to escape when she wanted out.
Why am I here? I ain’t nobody special.
Even though Lite was anxious to be on her way and alone, a part of her wondered why she was brought there. No one in the Academy, certainly not the professors, said she was special or capable of anything. Ever since she entered, she learned her lessons but so disliked authority that they said she would never amount to anything. They always thought of her as unruly yet here were people who said she was worth something.
It was worth the stay to find out why. However if they tried to make her do things she didn’t want to do, then she was out of there. Rules for followers. She was not one of them. She made her own decisions and lived with them. That was how she was. “And don’t think that I won’t leave if I don’t like it!” she voiced out loud.
“I’m quite certain I believe you,” said a voice from the door. Erussa stepped in, his arms clasped behind his back and his brow furrowed slightly.
Lite made an impolite snort and asked, “And why do you think you can sneak up on everybody?”
“It was not my intent to startle you,” he said softly. He moved into the room, though the door remained open behind him. He gazed at her for a moment, then, “There’s no need for hostilities, Lite,” he said, “I assure you that I am not your enemy.”
Lite had watched him leave the door open. She wondered if that was a sign of trust in that she was free to leave if she wished. The cynical side of her said that the old man was afraid of what she might do to him if he didn’t let her go.
His responses had been soft and gentle, like a parent soothing a petulant child. Lite wondered if he used that voice on everybody as she answered rather rudely, “Promises and then once you think you have a good thing going, you get backstabbed.”
The old man raised his hands. “No one here wishes to betray you. Your fear and mistrust are understandable, but unfounded.”
“I’m not afraid of anything least of all you,” Lite retorted, “A person looks out for number one and that number one is me. So give me your little speech and leave me alone.”
Lite was never that rude to anyone before and she knew it. She still resented the fact that she was not asked to come wherever she was. The fact that she was unconscious escaped her as she sat there with her fiery green eyes snapping and watching Erussa.
Erussa gazed at her, a dark expression crossing his face. “Your thoughts betray you, child,” he said, his voice reflecting the look on his face. “I feel I must remind you that it was I and your fellow students that in fact rescued you from the alleys of the South Quarter. You would do well to remember that and adjust your behavior accordingly.”
“Or what? You going to make me? Your little kath pack may have saved my neck but I don’t owe you anything.” Lite’s temper was up and as it were she could throw a punch. She didn’t like being told what to do if it curtailed her freedom and it showed. “The only thing I owe you is a thanks and then I’m gone.”
“Your anger will only serve to make matters worse. I assure you that if you attempt to harm me, you will not escape this facility unharmed.” The old man’s voice was growing stronger and louder as well, and his blue eyes turned ice cold. “You must learn to control your temper, child, or it will one day bring you into things you cannot escape.”
“Bold talk from a Jedi,” Lite retorted, unabashed by the old man’s voice getting louder, “Thought they were peace pushers.”
Lite didn’t move but continued to stand. She managed not to lose her temper as she stared straight back at the old man. She then asked, “So what are you trying to pitch to me.?”
Erussa moved along the perimeter of the room, still staring intently at Lite. “You are needed Lite,” he said much more calmly than before. “You do not realize it, but you have a great destiny before you. I can help you become more than you ever believed possible- but you must allow me to do so. You must let go of your anger child, or it will lead you down a path of destruction.”
Lite’s eye never left Erussa as he move around the perimeter of her room. She stood still and quiet listening. She didn’t believe in the whole destiny thing but the idea of becoming something more was appealing. After all people thought she wouldn’t amount to much and here was a chance to prove otherwise. She raised a brow and looked at Erussa. In a calm voice she said, “You can teach me but I don’t buy the destiny crap. People make their own.”
Erussa nodded. “Then come. I can teach you how to control your passions and turn them to your advantage without losing control of them.”
Lite nodded and sat on her bed. “I’ve got the whole night.”
The day began early for the six young would-be Jedi. They were roused from their various sleep stages early in the morning, and after a quick breakfast of sorts were escorted by droids to a large, dark room that seemed to be in the centre of the compound. There were 6 stone chairs running along the circular wall, all facing inwards towards a large open space. Erussa stood in the middle of the room, his arms stretched out in greeting.
“Good morning,” he said warmly. He indicated the stone chairs. “Please, be seated.” He waited for them to be seated and comfortable before continuing.
“It is somewhat ironic, in a way, that you have been brought here - you have been brought out of one world, from a place of learning, to an entirely new world, one that you did not know existed. Yet still, you are brought into this world through another place of learning, housed beneath the world you once knew. To prepare you for the lives you will lead from this day forward, you must be taught and trained in the ways of the ancient Order that you will henceforth represent and uphold.
“Before you learn to channel and use the Force itself, you must first take steps towards understanding it. In order to do so, you will need to know of the Jedi Code, as it has been taught for countless millennia, passed on from Master to Padawan for generations. The five tenants of the Jedi Code have guided the destinies of the greatest figures in the Order’s history, from Grand Masters Yoda and Skywalker, to the Knights of the Recession, to the Knights of the Old Republic.
“The first of these tenants is perhaps the most difficult to understand. Many Jedi have been led down the path of the Dark Side, not heeding it words: there is no emotion, there is peace. The emotions of the sentient mind are one of the least understood aspects of the Galaxy. Many of the Galaxy’s brightest minds have attempted to explain what they are, where they come from, and why they exist in the first place. Many of those outside the Order see this tenant as stating that a Jedi is immune to the workings of his heart; that they do not feel happiness, or anger, or anguish. But that is not the case.
“For the Jedi, emotions serve as a powerful tool. They allow us to be objective through subjectivity - seeing the Galaxy as through the eyes of a being outside the Order, who does not feel the flow of the Force. To see the Galaxy from both this and through the eyes of the Force are important to the life and work of a Jedi Knight.
“In order to use their emotions, a Jedi must first come to understand them - for if one gives in to their emotions without first understanding how to control them, they risk becoming a tool of the Dark Side. It is the responsibility of every young Jedi to search their feelings, and make peace with them before allowing themselves to tap into their power. Emotion must not be allowed to detract from one’s sense of peace.
“The followers of the Dark Side, however, would have you believe differently. Of the many variations of the Sith teachings that have existed over the years, one aspect has remained consistent: the belief that one’s power must come unimpeded from their emotions. They allow their emotions to run rampant, and must surrender their control in order to continue fuelling their command of the Force.
“The Sith philosophy can easily begin from that of the Jedi. Emotions are an ever-changing force, constantly shifting in ways that even the wisest of Jedi cannot easily predict. What begins as something greatly beneficial, can quickly become a violent reaction that lures one unknowingly down the path of the Dark Side. A Jedi must always be mindful of their feelings within the living Force, or risk losing control and sacrificing their peace.”
He fell silent, and gazed out at his pupils. “Do any of you have any questions?”
Gherion took a moment to collect his thoughts and organize what Erussa had just taught him into his own mind. This experience had a very significant level of excitement to it, and at times Gherion felt as if he had been vaulted back hundreds, even thousands of years, sitting before one of the old Grand Masters and learning the basics of their ancient Order. Indeed, he could not see that scenario being of much better quality for nostalgia and giddiness than this one, but Gherion remained composed and processed the lesson. If he was to become a Jedi, then he would devote himself to knowing everything, possessing all the comprehension that he could and devouring each single lecture like the precious drop of golden essence it was. He would not be a Jedi of battle, and so he would have to focus all his efforts on learning the mysteries and philosophies of the Force, which was not at all a painful prospect. He loved philosophy, and craved Jedi knowledge, so the future was very bright for the half-Echani, very bright indeed. He looked over at Tawnos, his friend of only a few days, and realized that if there was anyone in this entire galaxy that he would want by his side in Jedi training, it was him. The man had a passion for this parallel to Gherion, and he would no doubt be a powerful ally. The philosopher wondered to himself what class Tawnos would take.
As Erussa finished speaking, Gherion raised his hand, but did not wait to begin his reiteration. "So, what you're suggesting is that emotions are a powerful current that lie in the depths of all sentient beings. That, if done properly, much of a Jedi's strength and perception is drawn from that current, allowing us to feel stronger in the Force overall, and see the 'living Force', as you call it, more clearly. It bolsters our connection with the Force, as well as gives us the power to see lives relatively untouched by the Force. But it works the same way as a sort of river current. It can be used for relative importance to what it is, but, if mishandled, can drag you under."
Erussa nodded. "As I have said, you show a wisdom beyond your years."
“Yes, thank you…” Gherion said, not paying much attention to the compliment, “And what of grey Jedi? You mentioned the Jedi and Sith philosophies on emotion, but I’m curious as to what the philosophy of a Force-User unattached to either religious sect was like.”
"The idea of the 'Grey' Jedi is one that has been greatly misunderstood throughout the ages. Jedi of the 'Grey' persuasion are not necessarily that different from those who follow the path of the Light - nor of the Dark. Grey is not a middle way, chosen as a balance between the two Orders. Rather, a Grey Jedi is merely an individual who was once associated with the Jedi Order, though has chosen to sever ties with the Council. There is no single set of teachings dedicated to such an alignment."
Gherion had suspected as much, but had asked to make sure. He wanted to understand all sides of the Force, not just from one view. It had seemed, during his years studying the remains of Jedi history the rest of the galaxy had access to, that he had only been receiving two stories from perspectives limited by codes and tenants. He had nothing against the Jedi code, found it to be admirable, time-tested, and would follow it to the tee, but he felt that he needed the contrast between all perspectives to truly understand each facet of this all-powerful, all-binding Force. Knowing that there were other perceptions, individual interpretations based on years of galvanization culminating in a severance of ties with an order of Force-users, was a widening of knowledge that gave Gherion the ability to view all sides of the story, and recognize that these teachings were not meant to be absolute, but were subject to a change in version fitting each Jedi Knight. To a certain degree, of course.
“I have one more question.” Gherion said, thinking back to the night before the kidnapping, and his proverbial time with Jolee Bindo, “I know from my studies that several Jedi Knights, even before the dissolution of the Old Order, fell to the Dark Side, but managed to redeem themselves. Can you tell me how that was typically done, and what lead to such a drastic change of heart after falling so far?”
As Gherion spoke, he cast his eyes over to Ashalle, who was watching him speak, a smile creasing the edges of her mouth. Gherion was not sure why she was smiling, as everyone else was wearing serious composures, most likely thinking to themselves, intently watching Erussa as if entranced by his presence. She, however, was starting straight at Gherion, and in the back of his mind, a familiar sensation of closeness tugged at him, reminded him of what they had endured together that nobody else here could truly understand. A warmth embraced him, something pure and invigorating, but all too brief. Gherion pulled his mind away and focused it on Erussa, who looked as if he was about to speak. He could not afford distractions and did not register the emotions for longer than a few seconds before dismissing them to the back of his psyche.
Erussa considered for a moment. "It is difficult to say," he began. "You have perhaps learned of the fall and redemption of one Anakin Skywalker, also known as Darth Vader - it is indeed one of the most legendary tales in history. Lord Vader was redeemed through his strong feelings towards the young Jedi Luke Skywalker, his son. The act of rescuing his son from the clutches of the Dark Lord Sidious, coupled with his own remorse over betraying his own flesh, broke the hold of the Dark Side and returned him to the Light.
"But such an act of redemption can only occur when rooted in deep, positive emotions that by their nature simply refuse to fuel the sinister influence of one's Dark power - and again, such emotions are rare, and generally tend to form only between two beings both extremely powerful in the Force, allowing for their strength to break the power of Darkness."
“So, it requires another strongly solidified in the Light Side of the Force to help redeem one that has fallen to darkness?” Gherion stroked his beard, his mind perusing Erussa’s elaboration.
Erussa nodded. "The Dark Side of the Force is indeed powerful - but it is a corruptive power, twisted and evil. There does come a time when one becomes too consumed by the Dark Side that even the most prevailing and devoted Jedi cannot redeem them. But if they can forced to see the horror of their actions through the bonds that tie them to one devoted to the Light, then there is still hope."
Gherion nodded, smiling. “That’s all I wanted to ask. I think I’ve got this.” After a nod from Erussa, Gherion pulled out his datapad and began copying notes from memory, jotting down only the ones he felt required specific emphasis. The Jedi code would be alive and well, Gherion would help make this so, and in doing such, he would help heal the galaxy.
Tawnos listened intently as Erussa spoke of the Jedi Code. He already knew the Code, of course, though had been able to find very little information on its meaning, most of it having been lost along with the rest of the Order's teachings. He knew, however, that the popular idea of the cold, unfeeling Jedi was false; that because of the nature of their power, they often felt emotions far deeper than most others through their near-physical tie to the Galaxy around them.
As Gherion fell silent, Tawnos raised his own hand. Erussa acknowledged him, and he moved forward in his seat as he spoke.
"What's always mystified me about the Jedi Code is the hand-in-hand idea that Love is to be forbidden. Surely such an emotion couldn't possibly be a bad thing? I mean, Jedi are encouraged to love all forms of life, are they not? Why then is falling in love seen as so dangerous?"
"What you must strive to understand is that Love itself is not what poses the risk to a Jedi's peace; rather, it is the attachment inherent within Love that poses the risk. When that attachment is forcibly broken, emotions such as grief will inevitable threaten to consume the Jedi in question."
"But doesn't the Order teach the idea that death is a joyous occassion?"
Erussa held out a hand. "Patience, young Padawan. We will discuss that particular aspect of the Code when the time comes." He smiled. "Though your thirst for knowledge is admirable."
Tawnos nodded, even though his question had not been answered to his satisfaction. He still didn't understand. In his mind, Love served to save one from the lure of the Dark Side, not lead them towards it. Even in the legends of Darths Vader and Sidious, it had been Love that had redeemed Lord Vader, and destroyed the power of the Emperor; Vader's love for his son had brought him to return to the Light, not served to condemn him.
He pushed the matter from his mind, and leant back in his chair. Perhaps he would understand in time, as their lessons progressed.
Osay shifted to a more comfortable position as Tawnos asked his question. That reminded her, she needed to talk to him later--privately. She jotted down another mental note about it and returned her attention to the lesson. Erussa had already talked to her about the whole 'emotion' thing last night, so she didn't have any questions, but maybe he'd say something to help consolidate the concept in her mind. It was kind of disconcerting; she would never admit it to Erussa, but she hadn't had real peace of mind for years. Maybe her emotions were her problem. Though no one could see it, she was always angry, not at others, but at herself. If she hadn't--
Osay flinched slightly and stopped that train of thought. Boy, Erussa was sure right about emotions taking away peace! Maybe it was the memories causing the emotions she needed to deal with. But how could she deal with something like that? She'd never told anyone what had happened; she'd never been close enough to someone. But one thing was for sure. She'd have to be pretty stinkin' close to somebody to tell them what had happened, and she had no desire to get that close to anyone! Huh, Lite or Celeb were the only ones who might understand, and she didn't particularly like either of them. Oh, whatever. She'd just have to get over it and move on.
Erussa bowed his head. "But that is enough for today. Go now, reflect on what I have told you, and we will continue your training tomorrow." He bowed once again, and the stone door slid open. They rose from their seats and left in single file.
=-=-=-=-=
Tawnos stepped out of the shower in his quarters, making a point to avoid eye contact with his reflection as he wrapped a towel around his waist. His mind was brooding on the lesson Erussa had given them that day, and on the one question he had that Erussa had not, for whatever reason, answered. He certainly wasn't planning on entering any kind of romantic relationship in the forseeable future, and he seriously doubted he ever would - not considering how mistrustful he was, particularly of the opposite gender. But the idea of being categorically denied the opportunity didn't sit well with him.
He pondered for a moment on what the old man had told them of the Sith teachings. From his own studies and what Erussa had told them that day, he gathered that what eventually led a follower of the Dark Side astray was their submission to their own passions - the devotion of every bit of emotional energy to the satisfaction of their lust for power. If one used their emotions to fuel their command of the Force, but kept good intentions at heart, wouldn't they be able to remain in control? So long as one wasn't concerned with power alone, perhaps channeling emotion to fuel the Force was in fact a more natural way of commanding their ability than that preached by Erussa - and ultimately, a healthier way of dealing with one's emotions.
He thought more on this as he re-dressed, tossing his shirt into the refresher and donning just his undershirt, intending to try get some sleep. He tossed the used towel into the refresher as well, and fell onto the bed, his eyes closed but his mind still spinning restlessly.
What could one do to put to rest emotions that they had no control over? He certainly couldn't help but feel protective of his sister, despite their strained relationship, nor could he deny the powerful hold that Osay seemed to have over him; he rarely trusted women at all at the best of times, and upon meeting her for the first time he seemed to react to her as he did to all females. But the more time he spent in her presence, the more he felt drawn towards her, in much the same way Gherion had described himself being drawn to all five of them. Then there was Gherion himself, who Tawnos already felt he had known his entire life, despite having met him merely a matter of days ago.
He was brought out of his reverie by the sound of someone calling at the door. He groaned hismelf into a fully conscious state, sat up, and habitually ruffled his hair. "Come in," he shouted.
Osay opened the door and stepped inside, her hands clasped behind her back. She immediately noticed that he was sitting in bed. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were asleep. I'll come back another time." She turned to leave.
"No, no, it's fine," he said, moving to the edge of the bed and indicating the chair at the desk. "Have a seat, if you'd like," he said. "What's up?"
Osay walked in a little farther and replied, "I just wanted to clarify something. What I said a couple nights ago when I got knocked out--I can't believe I even said that."
He shifted uncomfortably for a moment. "Yeah, uhm... I've been wondering about that. What exactly, uh... what exactly did you mean when you asked me to..."
Osay interrupted, "I was in far more pain than I'm used to. I didn't mean to say 'Don't leave me'. It was merely a reflex, and I sincerely wish I could take it back."
Tawnos nodded slowly, staring pointedly at a spot on the floor. "Well, if it's any consolation, I sinverely wish I could take back hearing it..." he said with a small grin.
Osay smiled. "Perhaps we could forget about it?"
He cast her a sidelong look for a moment. "That'd be great," he said, also forcing a smile - though provately, he really wasn't sure if he was going to be able to forget it. Aloud and still smiling, he said, "Yeah, let's just pretend it didn't happen."
Osay took a step back. "Thanks for understanding. I was really afraid that came across in the wrong way." She gave a slight laugh as she added, "Erussa seemed to think so. Again, sorry for bothering you. Guess I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah," he said, standing and following her a few steps towards the door. "Have a good night."
Gherion held his hand steadily poised above the grid on the side of the dejarik table, looking at the holographic figures and working out various stratagems in his head. For a while after Erussa’s lessons on the Jedi Code, Gherion had spent time alone in his quarters, writing in his journal about how eerily similar the morals, values, and ethics of the Jedi were to the lore he had read. They were guardians of peace and goodness, without passion or desire, decency and wholesomeness implanting itself in their wake. The code was clearly not just a way to live life with the power of the Force in your hands, as it undoubtedly was: it also doubled as a weapon against the darkness in us all. If one took the code seriously, followed it to a certain degree, then their dark selves were thwarted. The Half-Echani wondered how many years of refinement the code had taken, and how many revisions had been made. He surmised from the way that history had followed the Jedi, and from his studies on key figures in the Old Jedi Order, that this was an ancient and relatively unaltered mantra that had made the Jedi that valiant force against the vile Sith for so long.
Their philosophies for seeking out knowledge mirrored this dedication in many ways, and without such things, devotion to the light would be nearly impossible. They constantly sought knowledge in the most unlikely of places, looking at every situation as a way to learn, and seeing themselves constantly for validation in their loyalty. Arrogance had no place in their methods, as they only saw themselves as children in their wisdom, no matter how learned or scholarly they became. The humility that this entailed had been pointedly relevant to Gherion, who recognized that though he held similar ideas in seeing knowledge in all things, he had traits of self-importance that would be ingredients for conflict in later days, when his training as a Jedi would progress even further. This imperative sensation lead Gherion to gain a more humble mental demeanor since the second lesson with Erussa.
Tiring of typing, however, he had ventured into the small entertainment room, where a pazaak table and a dejarik board lay, in addition to various other methods of diversion. A simple viewscreen in the corner showed various news announcements all across the galaxy, rambling on about new additions to the Alliance, and other minor stories. All was normal in the galaxy, except for six young men and women who had been kidnapped and given the heavy burden of being Jedi. Tawnos had been playing a game of dejarik by himself, and offered to play Gherion. The young philosopher had picked up on the game very young, when he first started in astrogation on small cargo freighters. Due to his keen intellect and swift wit, he had mastered it rather quickly, until nobody wished to play him. Tawnos, even though they were only two moves in, had shown that he, too, was exceptionally adept at the game, and would give Gherion a run for his money, so to speak.
Gherion finally decided on a move after five minutes of deliberation, and typed in the command. He caught Tawnos in a fork, sacrificing his best piece, but putting his opponent in a considerably difficult situation: a calculated risk, but a profitable one. Tawnos cursed under his breath, running his hand through his hair in his near-trademark way, leaving it standing up at the top. He typed in a command of his own, moving his more important piece out of danger, but leaving the second open to an attack - an attack it didn't stand a chance of surviving. He watched helplessly as his piece was mauled by Gherion's, and vanished in a flicker of light. Gherion looked up and smiled triumphantly, but the grin vanished almost immediately as he looked at Tawnos. Over the past few days, Gherion had been noticing that his intuition, which he now knew was some sort of Force sense, had been growing stronger, and could tell him the moods of those around him if he concentrated hard enough. Gherion could sense troubled thoughts from Tawnos, and shockingly, he hadn’t needed to concentrate at all, signaling to him that his friend was in emotional turmoil of a high degree.
“I get the feeling that something’s bothering you.” Gherion blurted out, not catching himself in his thoughts.
Tawnos looked up from the board, his eyes dark. He was silent for a moment, then spoke. "It's... not something I'm comfortable talking about. No offense."
Gherion shrugged, then cast his eyes toward the board. As he considered his next move, he stroked his goatee stoically before speaking. “I’m no expert on solving problems, but I do know that it can’t be healthy to bottle it up. I think you know you that I’m not exactly the gossiping type, and getting it out of your system could be very therapeutic.”
Tawnos watched as Gherion's piece moved into a maneuver intended to draw out his more useful pieces. He reacted without thinking, and moved a more mundane piece in the way. "It's... Osay," he said, once he had finally worked up the courage to say it out loud. "I'm finding myself..." he struggled to find the words. "I'm thinking about her when I should be focusing on something else. I've caught myself watching her when I don't mean to."
“Hmmmm…” Gherion sat forward abruptly, and performed a feint on the board that left Tawnos’ most valuable piece open for attack next turn. “Well, you two have been getting along quite well since the night of our first mission. You think that might be part of it, that some sort of feelings might be blooming from that newly forged friendship?”
Tawnos shook his head, taking advantage of the opportunity and moving a piece forward - on his next turn, he would have Gherion's most valuable piece set up to fall. "That's just it, I... I don't know. And until I do, until I understand what it is that's causing this, then... I can't get over it. I can't settle it in my mind, and put it to rest."
“Well, you remember what Erussa told us about emotion. ‘There is no emotion, there is peace’. You and I know better than anyone that Jedi typically didn’t have families or loved ones. It’s not that it wasn’t done, it just made the road ahead much easier to remove those factors from their lives, and we both know that many Jedi connected by love didn’t last long before they became Sith.” Gherion performed a rarely seen gambit, catching Tawnos’ piece with two flanks and destroying it completely. He smiled before continuing. “I think that, if you plan to face these emotions, seek validation or explanation within yourself, you should do so with the attitude that no matter what, you will not give yourself into them.”
Tawnos considered for a moment. "The old Jedi idea that emotional attachments were to be avoided has always been... hard for me to wrap my head around. The Order encouraged compassion, and a love for all life - how can one love something, or someone, without becoming somehow attached to them? How does one prevent such attachments from forming?"
Gherion stroked his beard thoughtfully, staring at the ceiling. “I think the danger of love is not the act of loving, but rather, the pain of loss or rejection. Jedi are trained to let go of that which they fear to lose, yes, but love for another can be more powerful than any training against it. The grief of losing a loved one, or the pain of being told by another that they do not share your feelings, could send you spiraling into darker thoughts, darker emotions, and inevitably, the Dark Side.”
Tawnos looked up from the game board. "You must do a lot more reading than I thought. How exactly do you know so much about the Jedi, and their ideas of love?"
Gherion grinned toothily, the first one he had ever portrayed to Tawnos. “Well, just before Erussa brought us here, I was reading about a man named Jolee Bindo. A grey Jedi who had left the order of his own accord, because he had been denied a punishment he felt he deserved. You see, in his journal, Bindo described the Jedi policies on love in context with his own life. When he was a padawan, he fell in love and trained a woman far too old in the ways of the Force, but during a great war, she turned on him, and tried to kill him. He survived the encounter, turned away from the pain and loss of love, and went before the Jedi to be punished. When they refused to give him that punishment, because of the value of what he had learned, he left.”
Tawnos reflected on Gherion's story for a moment. Then, "That doesn't really help me understand how to avoid attachment - if anything; it just proves that it's possible to remain objective even when emotionally attached to someone."
“Actually…” Gherion pressed a quick command into the dejarik table, moving a piece back in defense. “It tells us that no matter what we do; love will leave its scars. And Jolee Bindo was exceptionally strong in the Force and the Light Side to remain as unscaved as he was. At the very least, giving into love could lead you to leave our group, and, quite honestly, we need you.”
Tawnos sighed, noticing Gherion's trap too late - no matter which piece he moved, he'd be opening his larger pieces to attack. "Maybe," he said slowly. "But... I can't help think 'what if?'. I mean, me 'falling', or leaving for any reason depends solely on the prospect of being hurt by my feelings. But... what if I'm not? What if they come to fruition?"
“And what happens if Osay happens to die? If she falls to the Dark Side herself? Fighting the evils within yourself is a task already putting anyone in constant struggle, but to add that much extra internal conflict is more than any person should bear, at least if they intend to use the Force.” Gherion used a smaller piece to attack Tawnos, taking out a simple pawn to elongate the game. He did not want to give Tawnos a reason to cut the conversation short. He wanted to help.
"So you're saying that even if there is a chance of her... reciprocating, that it wouldn't be worth the risk?"
“No. I don’t pretend to understand love, or what risks it’s worth. But I will tell you that should you choose to pursue it, then you may start walking down a road you can’t turn away from. Just remember that, and if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to about emotions you can’t control, don’t be afraid, or too prideful, to contact me.” Gherion smiled, and finished the game in a whirlwind gambit, the last of Tawnos’ pieces falling to a brutally efficient flank. “At least, unlike Erussa, I’m on the same page you are.”
Tawnos gronaed as his piece fell to Gherion's, and the board fizzled out at his defeat. He rubbed his eyes, and cast a glance at his time piece. He considered for a moment, a grin stretching across his face. "Best three out of five?"
“Why not.” Gherion nodded happily, starting another game. He considered for a moment about Tawnos’ feelings, and sensed in their future a touch of darkness that did not fully manifest itself to him, but gave the young philosopher a heavy clump in the depths of his stomach. He was not trained in the Force properly, however, so he did not see what was growing in Tawnos to the extent of understanding it. He instead chose to force the notions out of his mind, and focus on the next game of dejarik.
(I'm a bit confused with the dialogue here. In most RPs I've done, we only post for our own characters)
Celeb watched from the other side of the room as Tawnos and Gherios went at it at the Dejarik table, content to watch and not join them. He never really was the social type. Sure, he trusted the lot of them, but he still felt unable to really connect with any of them that well, though he did like Ashalle a bit. "Next it'll be best four out of seven." He commented on the game.
(I warned you I make short posts)
For multiple reasons that I don't feel like discussing at this point in time, this RP is no longer running. For anyone who's followed the story thus far, I will be re-starting it (yet again) on my own - or potentially with a partner, I haven't decided. Stay tuned to the Coruscant Entertainment Centre for information.
Anybody that was avidly following this thread when it was so rudely cut down in its prime, go to this link (
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=195090) for Scion of Darkness, now bigger and better than ever!
Thanks, Anduril, the redirect - as well as your enthusiasm -are much appreciated. :xp: