Ben slowly moved back from Aurora and collapsed into a chair, putting his head in his hands. "What have I done?" he wispered to himself, feeling what was happening in the Republic Senate. After several long moments, he looked at Aurora and then Tanya and his mother, his face filled with grief for what he had done and then lowered his head back into his hands, not knowing what to do.

Aurora sat down by his feet, and lay her head against him. Her heart ached for him, and she wished she could somehow take away the pain, the grief she saw in his face. "Oh Ben...." she whispered, and her eyes filled with tears.

* * *

Arion frowned. "Elite Assassination Squad? Where in space did they come from?"

* * *

A dark Jedi approached another and said, "Milord, the Jedi have arrived."

A dark, shadowy figure turned and seemed to be studying the dark jedi in front of him. Without listening to the one who stood before him, the figure quietly said in a dark voice, "Find the one that I seek. He is headding toward us as we speak, and bring him to me, using any means neccessary."

* * * *

Ben gently took Aurora's chin and lifted it up towards his face, and whiped away her tears. "Don't be sad, my love. Everything will be alright in the end. We have each other, and our family here, and that's all we will need. Well, who knows what Arion is doing right now, but I'm sure he would want you to make the best of any situation, including this one."

"You'll see soon enough." CSI smiled and noticed the Jedi Phoenix landed in front of Senate Building.

"Let's go." Vergil said and jumped off the Jedi Phoenix.

Aurora looked up at Ben and tried to smile. "Y-you're right, he wouldn't want me to worry." She sighed, and rested her cheek against him. "I love you."

* * *

The dark Jedi bowed. "It will be done, milord." He turned on his heel and began issuing orders into a comlink. Soon, shadowy figures swept toward the entrances, concealing themselves from sight and sense.

* * *

Arion brought his saber staff to hand, tensed for action. He couldn't feel anyone nearby, but something...... familiar seemed to be down one of the halls. Curious, but wary, he split from the main group and began walking towards the sense. He turned a corner, and found a dark-clad figure standing at the end of the corridor, waiting. Arion's eyes widened. "J-Jamari?"

Jamari stood there clad in pitch black robes and smiled cooly at Arion. "I'm supprised you recognized me Arion, it has been a long time, hasn't it. I see that you still follow your weak Jedi Order and the Republic it serves." He laughed, and then ignited a blood red lightsaber. "Someone wants to meet you. However, they did not specify as to the condition you were in when they met you." He then held the blade in a very aggressive posture, ready to strike without a moments notice.

* * * *

Ben felt Aurora's cheek against him and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you too." He then got down and kissed her forehead.

Arion stared at his former friend, wordlessly. Finally, he said, "Jamari..... what happened to you? Last I heard, you were almost ready for Knighthood."

* * *

Aurora felt peaceful for the first time in a long while, resting in Ben's embrace. Then she shivered. "Arion's in trouble," she whispered.

Jamari's cold smile grew, he eyes glowing a sickening yellow, "Your sister, Darth Marea and her master showed me the true meaning of the Force." He then shot lightning at Arion with the Force for several minutes. Just before Arion would have been killed, he stopped the attack. He then summoned all of the Dark Jedi who had now surrounded Arion and told them, ::Bring him::. He then turned on his heel and began to lead them back to their leader.

* * * *

For the first time in his life as well, Ben felt peaceful as well. Suddenly, this all changed as he both heard Aurora and sensed it through the force that Arion was in trouble. "I feel it also, do you think he is ok?"

Arion collapsed on the floor, the combination of the lightning and the revelation of his sister's involvement overwhelming him. Just before it stopped, he passed out, and the dark Jedi closed in, dragging Arion after Jamari and depositing him on the ground in front of their leader.

Jamari knelt before their leader and then got up and moved into the shadows. The figure then moved up right next to Arion and began to tap Arion's head with his boot, getting gradually harder the longer he waited for Arion to wake up. "Get up" he hissed in a cold, dark voice which made even Jamari shiver involuntarly.

The other dark Jedi stepped back into the shadows, returning to their assigned stations.

Finally, Arion opened one eye and looked up at the figure tapping him with his boot. "It's too early to get up yet." He closed his eye again.

The dark figure's began to glow a sickening yellow as his rage at the Jedi before him coursed through him. Within the blink of a eye he grabbed Arion by his robes and slammed him into the wall, causing a enormus dent in the wall. The figures hands secured Arion's sholders and began to slowly crush them, the speed of the attack had caused the figure's hood to fall back, it's face right in front of Arion's.

Arion stared at the figure, and winced in pain as he began crushing him. "Y-you're dead. Go away." He muttered, still dazed from the attack.

* * *

Sarela froze in her seat, uneasy. No.... that's not possible.

The fugure laughed as he continued to slowly crush Arion's sholders while Jamari watched with a cold smile on his face and his glowing eyes never leaving Arion. "If I am dead... then how could I be here crushing you... Arion." Darth Kelion hissed cooly at him. "Submit, or you will find yourself in pain beyond your worst nightmares." He said as he continued to crush Arion's sholders.

* * * *

Ben's gaze suddenly turned to his mother and began for some reason to feel extremely restless and uneasy. "Mother, what is it?"

Tanya looked at Sarela and smiled. "Thank you, ma'am... I mean, master." She giggled. Tanya was also glad that Ben was good again. And with him thanking her, Tanya welcomed him.

A few moments later, Tanya saw Ben and Aurora sad. She got up and walked to them. Then she tugged on Ben's long black robe. "Ben? Aurora? Are you guys okay?" Suddenly, she felt a disturbance in the Force. Something was after Ben.

The Cool Field landed in Coronet City's docking bay. The city was large and great. Zano sighed, and went to the back to get the rest of the gang. "Hey, everybody! We're he--" He saw everyone in a sad position. "Hey? Everything okay?"

Arion grimaced, painfully. "Wh- why should I submit to you?" His eyes hardened. "You destroyed my sister. You destroyed your own son. You tore both of our families apart. You seriously think that anything else you could do to me would be more painful?"

* * *

Sarela's gaze unfocused, slightly. "Kelion," she breathed.

Aurora shivered again, and leaned in closer to Ben, her arms tightening around him.

Tanya turned to Sarela. "M-Master? I feel... something. Something bad. I don't know what it is... but it's really bad." She held on to her master's robe. "I don't want anything bad to happen to us." Tears fell from the little girl's eyes, as Tanya held her teddy bear and Sarela close.

The threat was getting scary, and Tanya disliked scary things. Except for when Ben was scary himself. He was okay.

Sarela took Tanya into her arms and held her close, reassuringly. "Don't cry. Everything's going to be okay. You know Ben would never let anything bad happen to any of us." She looked at her son, wondering how he would react.

CSI and Vergil walked into the empty Senate Chamber. No one was there.

"No one is here. Let's go." Vergil dragged CSI's robe.

CSI just stood there: "Can you feel it?" Suddenly a lightsaber flew into his hand from nowhere and he performed a backstab. With a shout, a cloaked Sith Assassin collapsed.

"Captain Kaname Chizuru, I know you're here." CSI made a unnatural smile.

"Wow, you still remember my name…So long time, Captain Vincente Dantes and Captain Vergil Descartes." On the center platform, a dark figure appeared, "Remember, if you betray us, and the Noble Dantes Family would fall. Tsk, tsk...always a shame to see a noble family's downfall." Then it disappeared from the center platform and reappeared behind Vergil and pulled out a wakizashi*, which was hanging behind waist.

Vergil turned around almost instantly, and his left hand was on handle of his katana. “I hate to scar a fair lady’s face.”

“Really?” The dark figure took off the hood, thus revealing a once-beautiful face. CSI closed his eyes. Dark Side can be very corruptive. Suddenly about 50 Elite Sith Assassins appeared around CSI and Vergil. “Can you defeat them?” Kaname said mockingly.

Vergil whispered to CSI: “Do you have a Plan B?”

CSI shrugged: “No, we fight.” With amazing speed, CSI subdued one Assassin near him.

Vergil smiled, and pulled out his katana: “Bring it on!” And with several screams, he also subdued a bunch of Sith Assassin.

--

After a while, CSI dispatched the last Sith Assassin, “Is that your best, my former apprentice, Captain Chizuru?”

“Unfortunately, no.” She made an evil smile, and vanished. After a minute, she reappeared above CSI. “I still remember your trademark technique, Critical Strike!”

“Critical Strike, huh?” CSI used his arm and blocked her Critical. “You still got so much to learn, my young apprentice.” The two huge powerful strikes clashed together and formed a shockwave around them.

“My master died years ago.” She answered calmly, “It’s time to avenge for my master. Sting to death, Hornet!”

“Oh, no…” CSI’s eyes widened, “Not possible…”

“Well, it’s now.” Kaname’s smile widened, but it looked like a cry, “You shouldn’t have forgotten—my wakizashi, Hornet, would kill you instantly after second hit.”

CSI nodded grimly: “See if you can make the second hit, Kaname.”

Suddenly, a butterfly symbol appeared on the spot. “First hit. Second hit on the same spot, you’re done for.”

CSI frowned and started running.

“Yeah, wise choice. Run. Run for your life!” Kaname jeered and followed him, “The crest won’t disappear unless I want them to.”

CSI continued to run.

Kaname continued to chase.

Suddenly, CSI ran to a big space and stopped, “You’re right. Let’s deal with it.”

Kaname grinned devilishly and the duo fought on.

*It’s similar to Katana, but it is lot shorter than a katana.

Ben leanned into Aurora and tightened his arms around her as well, feeling frightened. He began to shiver and looked over to Tanya and his mother, tears beginning to fall from his eyes. "I- I won't let any- anything happen to you. You- You are my family, my home. But, what will- will happen to me?"

* * * *

Darth Kelion continued to slowly crush Arion's sholders, and hissed "Your sister destroyed herself. Her feelings towards my treasonus son was her weakness. Now, unless you would like to be responcibe for watching your sister and maybe my son and his companions in agony, you will submit to me... now." He paused, going through Arion's memories as he continued to crush his sholders, and found he didn't know about his sister yet. He chuckled, "Oh, you mean that you didn't know? Your sister and my son managed to regain their origional selves. However, their... darker selves will always be a part of them now. Would you want to be responsible for Ben and Aurora's suffering? Could you live knowing that you were the cause of their suffering?" He said, continuing the atttack.

Aurora turned Ben's face toward her, a glint in her eye. She locked her eyes with his, and told him, "I will not let anything happen to you. If- if I fail, may death take me swiftly." She kissed his cheek, tenderly, and whispered. "We- we'll find a way to stop him. And this time, we will succeed."

* * *

Arion's eyes glinted through the pain. Aurora was redeemed? His face darkened at Kelion's second statement, however. "If you touch them, I'll kill you," he ground out, glaring at Kelion. "Don't you think you've caused enough trouble? You're like a disease, harming and destroying all you touch. Why can't you just leave us ALONE?!?"

Ben kissed Aurora in return and then said, "As would I. I would give my life for all of you. I- I just hope that my father can be made good again, but I am beginning to think that will never happen." At the end of his statement, he turned his head towards his mother and Tanya looking his mother's opinion and Tanya's reassurance.

* * * *

Darth Kelion continued his attack and chuckled. "My son has already tried to kill me, and failed. You are no threat. Perhaps a little incentive is required for you to submit to me." He summoned Jamari through the Force, who obeyed and stepped up next to Kelion.

"Yes, milord?" Jamari said, waiting for orders.

"Take a squad of Dark Jedi and find Aurora Starfire and my son. Bring them to me. Failure will not be tolerated." Darth Kelion said coldly as he continued his attack against Arion, feeling that Arion's sholders would not take much more before they gave out.

Sarela sighed. "Kelion is consumed by the dark side. I- I don't know if there *is* any good left in him. I dearly hope so, but....." she trailed off.

Aurora felt a shift in the Force..... something else was wrong. ::Ben.... they're hunting us now. We- we should leave, so Tanya and the others won't get hurt.::

* * *

Arion closed his eyes, drawing strength from the Force to lighten his pain slightly. "You will not be able to take Aurora. Or your son. But thank you for telling me that they were redeemed. Now I can die happy." He mocked Kelion, knowing as he did so that he would intensify the level of torment he endured.

When Ben heard his mom say that his father was consumed by the dark side and that there might now be any good left in him, he lowered his head on Aurora's sholder and sighed deeply. Knowing that his father was lost made him feel hollow inside, not knowing who to look to as a father. He then turned to Aurora and said, "I- I know they are comming, but- but I want to stay with my... my family. Having 3 fully trained Force users, and my student, are far better odds than us going alone by ourselves." He looked at Tanya and smiled, "Tanya, would you like to become my apprentice?"

* * * *

Darth Kelion dropped Arion on the floor and then picked him up by his tunic, holding him so that his stomach was level with Kelion's head and used the force to prevent Arion's arms and legs from being able to move. Just as Darth Kelion was about to speak again, a dark Jedi walked up to Jamari and wispered something into his ear.

Jarmari then walked up to Kelion and said, "Milord, we found them. They just landed on in a spaceport in Coronet... in a ship that's belongs to a family who lives in the area. It has no defences that we can detect."

Aurora could feel how empty Ben felt, not having a father to look up to, and she wrapped him in her support and love. She turned her eyes towards Tanya, curious about what she would say.

* * *

Arion chuckled dryly. "After what you did to my shoulders, you still feel the need to pin my arms together? I'm honored." His gaze hardened. "Don't even think about hurting them, any of them, 'cause if you do, I swear I'll hunt you to the end of your days." His anger and resentment began to get the better of him, despite his attempts to quell it.

Tanya looked at Ben in surprise. Her big brother becoming her teacher? Awesome! She jumped up and down. "Holy Rolly! Ya mean it?!" Tanya ran to him and hugged him. "Yes, yes, yes! I'll become your appr... ren.. tice." She couldn't pronounce "apprentice", but she was sure happy.

Madi looked at everyone. She could feel everyone's need. "C'mon, guys. Let's get going. If you need any help... the Field Family is always here to help you all." She smiled. Zano nodded in agreement.

Darth Kelion looked at Arion, his pain clear on his face. "Good, feed your anger with your pain. Let it make you stronger, give you focus. I can feel you beginning to fail to keep the pain at bay. Use it instead of letting it hinder your abilities."

* * * *

Ben reached down and picked Tanya up. He kissed her on her cheek and said "I mean it, with all of my heart. I will train you in the ways of the force, my sister."

Arion grimaced. His eyes narrowed, and then suddenly converted his pain into a Force shockwave that knocked Kelion backwards. Arion fell to the ground and collapsed there, panting. "Is that your idea of 'using' it, 'milord'?" he queried, still with a mocking edge to his voice.

* * *

Aurora smiled, and slipped an arm around Ben's waist. "He's a good teacher, I know from experience." She looked up at Ben, the faintest trace of a twinkle in her eye.

Sarela smiled at Tanya's parents. "You're very kind to help us. Do you have somewhere in mind that you're going?"

Zano scratched his black hair, thinking. "Thank you. And, well... we could take you all to our house. It's just a few blocks from the dock. If that's all right with you."

Tanya hugged Ben, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "Thank you, Ben and Aurora. You guys are the best.

Sarela considered. The threat to Ben and Aurora was a serious one, and she didn't want to put the Field family in any danger. "Maybe for a short while. I know we could all use the rest." She looked at Ben, to see what he thought.

Ben looked to Zano and said, "Sure, for a short wile. We can not stay in anyone place for very long."

* * *

Darth Kelion slowly got back up and laughed. "Yes Arion, it is. Now release your anger, let it flow through you. If you don't, I'll kill the 6 year old girl that is with your sister, not to mention, your sister."

Arion glared at Kelion. "But not your son. No, you'd kill an innocent little girl, but not your own son. You have got to be the most sadistic, evil person I have ever met. If- if I did release my anger, like you're talking about, it would be to put an end to you. And I doubt that's what you're looking for." He struggled to maintain control, though it was fast escaping him.

* * *

Aurora nodded. "Let's go, then. It's better not to tarry in one place for too long, and I sense that our location may already have been discovered."

At last, the duo stopped. Both were nearly out of breath, but CSI’s condition was worse—the butterfly crest appeared on his arm, face, back, torso, and leg.

“One more strike, and you’re done for.” Kaname continued to jeer at CSI, although she can barely move herself.

“Why don’t we focus on this one strike?” CSI said, “We both don’t have enough power to keep on fighting, so let this strike be our last one. And you haven’t seen my katana…yet. Didn’t you realize that I didn’t even pull out my katana during this fighting?”

“What…The…” Now it’s Kaname’s turn to be surprised.

“Since you want to see my katana so bad, I’ll show you.” CSI pulled out his white katana, and said calmly: “Flap, Chidori!”

The green lightning bolts filled onto his katana, and emitting loud “Zap” noises.

Kaname meditated a little, and she stood up, “I’m ready.”

“Then let’s go.” CSI and Kaname both charged towards each other.

Then a blinding light emitted from the clash of blades. Then smoke consumed both figures.

--

When the smoke finally dissipated, CSI and Kaname were still standing there.

“I’m sorry, my friends. I failed.” CSI knelt down and fall to the ground, face down.

“What do you mean, you failed?” Kaname closed her eyes, “No, it’s me who failed.” Then she took a look at her wakizashi, which looks pretty good. After 1 second, with a small “zap”, her wakizashi broke into half. Then she fell onto ground, too.

CSI was still lying on the ground. He neither moved nor breathed. And the electricity on his katana was gone.

Darth Kelion smiled and in a dark voice said, "Then become my apprentice, learn to use the dark side of the Force so you can finally end me."

* * *

Ben looked around the room and said, "Indeed, it is possible that we may have been discovered already, if that is true, then we will need to move quickly. Lets get some rest at your house and then head out again. Does this ship have a security system installed?"

Arion glowered at the dark lord. "If this dark side is so powerful, then why would I need training to end you? But....." he hesitated. "If- if you give me your word that you will not hurt Aurora or- or her companions, then- then I'll let you teach me about the dark side. For now, at least," he added, shooting Kelion another glare.

"Very well... for now, at least." He mocked back at the end before his voice turned cold and dark. "Kneel"

Jamari stepped forward to watch is friend pledge himself to his new master and was glad that he had been wise enough to see the truth about the force.

Arion raised an eyebrow, and rose to his knees. "I- I will learn what you have to teach me..... milord." He ground out, glaring at Kelion's feet. "What little that may be," he muttered under his breath.

"Good. You have finally seen reason, Darth Patronus." Darth Kelion said in a voice that sounded unnatural. He paused and then continued, "Rise, my new apprentice." The Force began to send shockwaves, becomming darker once again.

* * *

Ben sensed the shockwaves through the force and sensed Arion was in trouble. He immediately turned to Aurora, "Arion!"

Aurora turned pale. "A-Arion, no....." She reached out into the Force, but all she could find was darkness, even with their bond. She sank to the floor, and buried her face in her hands. It's all my fault.

* * *

"Darth Patronus" got to his feet, glowering. "Don't know whether I've seen reason, or lost it," he muttered, eyeing Darth Kelion. "Now what, milord?' he asked, sarcastically.

Okay kids, listen up. I've been observing this RP for quite some time and I feel that now is a good time to address the many problems that it possesses.


The plotline - Not only is it extremely, extremely thin, it is also fantastically nonsensical. If you're going to play in the Star Wars universe, at least respect the rules and canon set forth.

For one thing, since when do Sith have 'families'? This motif is carried over from that atrociously bad "Battle of the LF Sith" thread and it makes even less sense in this incarnation than the previous one. I wasn't aware that Sith adopted their own families, nor was I aware that Sith make out with their apprentices, much less propose marriage to them.
There is absolutely zero sense of realism. I mean, seriously. Do the Darths simply keep a stockpile of Jedi to torture? And where do they obtain followers? And since when can you just pick up a Super Star Destroyer like it's some car at an automobile dealership?
Why is it that when Aurora and Ben are making out/crying/making out/telling each other 'I love you'/making out/plotting/making out/torturing family members/making out, CSI is off doing something completely unrelated?
There is no flow to the events of the story. One moment, one thing is happening, the next, everything has completely changed with no explanation whatsoever. It doesn't really help that the plot was almost nonexistent to begin with.

The characters - For the most part, inconsistent, contrived, asinine and utterly unrealistic.

Ben Flameshadow/Darth Saaron - How does he go from being some punk kid on the streets of Naboo to an all-powerful Sith Lord in the span of ten posts? And when he's not getting mad at someone for 'abandoning' him or threatening his 'family', he's sucking face with Aurora. But wait, he's redeemed...by a toddler?! The big bad Sith Lord who has no qualms about torturing his bride-to-be and her brother gets brought back to the light by some kid he meets. That's A+ material there.
Aurora Starfire/Darth Maera - A complete doormat of a character. When not crying for Ben's lost humanity, she's making out with him.
Darth Kelion - Cookie cutter Sith Lord given next to no character development. And just how the hell is he brought back to life?
CSI/Vergil - The two most ridiculously contrived characters in a thread full of them. First of all, there are no katanas in the Star Wars universe, nor are there mallets that you fight with. I know that you (CSI) are ripping off the Bleach universe and it comes off as completely and utterly stupid. You may think it sounds cool and all, but in reality, you look like a clown.
The rest of the characters - Used as little more than tools and given zero personality.

The making out/'I love you's - This deserves its own bullet point, because more than half of this RP is composed of Aurora and Ben kissing, to the point where it almost borders on softcore porn. This is not good RPing. This is sappy, contrived and utterly awful RPing.


I've been around internet RPs for a long time and this is definitely the worst excuse of an RP I have ever had the displeasure of reading. The plot doesn't make a lick of sense, the characters are distressingly unoriginal (or in CSI's case, completely idiotic) and, perhaps worst of all, the RP shows no sign of getting better anytime soon.

So take this as a friendly warning: if this RP does not step up its quality soon, it's getting shut down. kthnxbai

((We're really... really sorry, Rogue Nine. We'll make this RP better. I'll talk with the rest of the gang, if that's okay. And... I feel that this is my fault for putting a family in it. I'm really sorry as well.))

Ben knelt down next to Aurora and wrapped his arms around her and turned her face towareds his own. "Aurora, train me to become a Jedi, take me as your padawan learner."

* * * *

Darth Kelion glared at his new apprentice and coldly said "Bring me my son and your sister."

Aurora looked into Ben's eyes, uncertainly. "Are... are you sure you want me to? Can you even trust me to teach you what you need to know?"

* * *

Darth Patronus glared back at Darth Kelion. "Not so fast, master. You gave your word that you wouldn't hurt them. And you still haven't explained what you're doing here alive. By all rights you should be spaced by now."