Hello all, this Fic is based on the Duel RP, Duelling between CSI and RSM (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=172978) (Which was based on Tysyacha's The Duel: A Legacy of the Force Story (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=170828)), but they want it to be renamed, Knightfall: A Duel Between Light And Dark. I'd like to thank both CSI and RSM for allowing me to write the Fic version of the RP and I will post as much as I can, before I return to try and finish Echoes of Darkness (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=172578), before I continue this. You can discuss about the RP version of this here (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=173011).

Cast

CSI - CSI: Nihilus (http://www.lucasforums.com/member.php?userid=146416)
Darth Revan - RevanSithMaster (http://www.lucasforums.com/member.php?userid=146416)
Nauk Grelan - Pottsie (http://www.lucasforums.com/member.php?u=133624)
Bastila Shan - Dark_Lady (http://www.lucasforums.com/member.php?u=146173)
Kirabaros - JediMaster12 (http://www.lucasforums.com/member.php?u=129281)

Please note that this Fic isn't canon, since Revan fell to the dark side and Nihilus returned to the light side as CSI. This Fic is in no way related to my other Fic, Echoes of Darkness, except for the fact that Nauk Grelan is in this Fic. Once I post Chapter 1, Part 1 will be named Duel Between Light And Dark. I hope you enjoy this Fic.

Star Wars
Knightfall

Approximately four thousand years before the rise of the GALACTIC EMPIRE, the JEDI CIVIL WAR has come to a close as DARTH REVAN has returned to power as the DARK LORD of the SITH, after slaying his apprentice, DARTH MALAK.

On the STAR FORGE, two former JEDI MASTERS fight for their lives on the new base of operations for Revan’s new SITH ARMADA. One seeks to escape from the Star Forge and the other seeks Revan, claiming he was once the SITH LORD, DARTH NIHILUS.

Meanwhile, prior to the events of Revan returning to the Star Forge, his new apprentice, the fallen JEDI KNIGHT, BASTILA SHAN begins to tell the Sith Armada that Revan has returned to power…
Prologue
The Jedi Civil War was finally over. But it wasn’t the end. It was only the beginning of the many battles ahead. Darth Revan sat in his shuttle, noticing his new apprentice, Bastila Shan waiting for him. He also noticed that the new Sith armada also stood patiently, waiting for their new master. Lehon would be the planet where Revan’s new Sith Armada would use as their base of operations. Underneath Revan’s hood, he felt himself smile a crooked smile as the shuttle landed on top of the Temple of Ancients.

*****

Bastila Shan stood patiently, as the shuttle landed. She didn’t feel nervous, nor did she feel afraid at the fact she had fallen to the dark side. Revan would keep her strong and she wouldn’t feel fear ever again. The shuttle’s boarding ramp descended to the floor and Revan himself walked out of the shuttle, escorted by two Sith soldiers. Bastila knelt to the floor as Revan looked at his apprentice.

“I’m so glad you’re here Lord Revan,” Bastila told Revan as she got up from the floor, “Your Sith armada is waiting for us both.”

Revan didn’t reply as he observed his Sith armada from a distance. They all stood tall and proud, but Revan felt their fear within them. The dark side wasn’t really with them. When they would finally fight, many of them would die, simply because they weren’t as strong as him. Bastila walked towards the platform, where the Sith armada would look up at him.

“Malak is dead!” Bastila announced over the nervous armada, “All hail the return of Darth Revan! The true lord of the Sith!”

Confidently, Revan walked out and the armada immediately cheered.

“All hail Lord Revan!” They chanted, their chants growing louder and louder, “All hail Lord Revan! All hail Lord Revan!”

Revan ignored their chanting and turned to Bastila. She smiled and Revan smiled back.

“The Sith bow before you,” Bastila told Revan, “You have reclaimed your rightful throne. The Jedi Order is in tatters. It is only a matter of time until your Sith minions wipe them out from the face of the galaxy.”

Revan felt pleased. The Jedi Order’s grand Jedi Master, Vandar had died, along with the Republic admiral, Forn Dodonna. Both the Republic and the Jedi Order would fall to Revan’s armada.

“The Republic fleet is decimated,” Bastila continued, “The Core Worlds are defenceless against us.”

Revan folded his arms over his chest and stood proud. The dark side of the Force was strong with him indeed.

“We must return to the Star Forge,” Revan told Bastila, “I want to see my grand armada leave for the core worlds.”

“As you wish my lord,” Bastila told Revan, “I’ll prepare the shuttle right away.”

Nicely written. Couldn't find no errors/spelling mistakes. Looking forward to more.

That is very good! I'll be waiting for more.

Nicely written. Couldn't find no errors/spelling mistakes. Looking forward to more.

Admire the might of the Firefox. TWO.

<_<

>_>

Coudn't resist

So, back to topic, this is a good one. Well written and has plenty of depth. Great work, Potts!

Neat. I could find one error though. It is defenseless instead of defenceless, or is it a difference between British English and American English?

The Dark side is strong with me, eh? Well you don't know how strong... lol great work Pottsie.

Neat. I could find one error though. It is defenseless instead of defenceless, or is it a difference between British English and American English?

Probably a difference between the British and American English. Thanks for the comments all and I'll try and post Chapter 1 as soon as possible. I'm not making any promises though. I wonder where CSI is...

Good chapter Pottsie. Eh, are you looking for me? I'm coming up...

This has a good start so far. I am interested to see what will happen when other people come in to play the RP. Not bad on the spelling. It would help that the palyers be more descriptive in certain things like the twirling of a blade or describe a movement they make. That way it is not all dialogue. Still good start.

Thanks for the comments JM12. I'm glad to see you coming to critic on my Fics. I know the end of KOTOR doesn't happen in the RP, but I wanted to add several parts, before I got into the plot that CSI and RSM began. Looking foward to RPing with you in the RP Thread too.

Hey, Pottsie, you still need to edit JM12 into the Story..... :D

Yeah, in Chapter 2.

Whoa, good job pottsie, So your going to finish EOD first.
off topic:also almost everybody has christmas avatars. Cool sig Bane.

Returning on-topic, I would've edited JM12 on the Cast List, but my Internet connection has been down all day and has reconnected at 7:20PM. I'm going to catch up with the RP too, if any posts have been made.

RevanSithMaster, Darth Grivis, Darth_Kotor--use the PMs for chatting and keep the thread on topic. --Jae

@ Jae, what I had to say was related to the Story, JM12 was supposed to be in it. Darth_Kotor, now known as Akuma SF was also on topic.

The ones I deleted were related to Christmas avatars and 'dorks', which are not on-topic. If you ever have questions, please PM me to discuss it there, since this is also off-topic for this thread. --Jae

Anyway Pottsie, can't wait for the next chapter!

Yeah, I was on-topic, anywho, whenm do you think the next chapter will come out Pottsie?

Yeah, I was on-topic, anywho, whenm do you think the next chapter will come out Pottsie?

No idea. I haven't been writing this or Echoes of Darkness for several days...

Same, I only put up another chapter on my fic once every week or so...

Just to let you all know that I won't be continuing with this Fic anymore.

ok, but can someone else continue it? this is a good idea

ok, but can someone else continue it? this is a good idea

I was thinking that too. Perhaps this could be a joint Fic between both you and CSI.

ok.... I'll ask him

Already did...I don't know, but maybe later, when I finish my fic.

Aw, you're not continuing? I was looking forward to this too. Ah well.

[Announcement: Since Pottsie no longer continues this fic, so I decided to continue this fic. Now enjoy Chapter 1...I think it's short...]

Chapter 1

Aboard the Star Forge, Darth Revan sat there and meditated. Bastila came in and waited patiently.

Slowly opening his glowing yellow eyes, Revan raised his head and asked: “Anything, my love?”

Bastila asked Revan: “Did you feel it…The Jedi…They still exist. What are you going to do?”

Revan meditated carefully. He tried hard to search the Force. Korriban? None. Ruusan? None. Dantooine? Too few to be threat to him. Taris? Perished. Telos? None…Yavin? Yes! He can feel it. A blue figure appeared in his vision. A huge light aura was around the figure. It was a blur, and he can’t see the face clearly. Suddenly, his vision shifted to the battle between Darth Nihilus and the Exile. Flashback:

After an intense duel, Exile destroyed Darth Nihilus’s lightsaber. He knelt down. “Strike me down, Exile,” Darth Nihilus laughed, “Prove yourself strong!”
The Exile was standing in front of the kneeled Darth Nihilus and replied calmly: “No, I will never strike down a defenseless opponent.”

“That’s why you Jedi scum are weak!” Darth Nihilus shouted.

“No. You’re wrong, Darth Nihilus. Showing mercy to someone and offering help is not an act of weakness—instead, it means you’re strong instead. And I sense you have good inside you. You have not fallen, you are just misdirected by Darth Traya.”

Darth Nihilus knelt there and said nothing. But clearly, his mind was struggling between light and dark.

“You can be redeemed. Although you have done a lot of evil deeds, but I still believe you can be saved.” The Exile said kindly.

Visas, who stood beside the Exile: “Look at me. I feel I’m at peace.”

Darth Nihilus raised his head, and asked the Exile: “Can I still be saved?”

“Yes, you can.” The Exile said, with a little happiness.

“Thank you, my former apprentice, Visas Marr.” Darth Nihilus stood up, and bowed down to the Exile: “Thank you, the Exile. Before you go, I want to show you something.”

He turned around, back to the Exile, and took down his mask slowly and turned to face the Exile and Visas.

“No way! It can’t be…” The Exile widened his eyes to see such a drastic change.

His face skin was healing rapidly, no more scars, no more corruption. It’s just peace. And his eyes are no longer glowing yellow. Instead, they’re glowing white.

“Yes…I can no longer feel the hunger…Yes…It’s what I wanted to be!” Darth Nihilus said happily, “And I’m no longer Darth Nihilus. My name is…CSI!”

Mandalore reported: “Sirs! I hate to interrupt such reunion, but this ship is going to be exploded!”

“Let’s hurry!” The Exile smiled and waved to CSI, “It’s nice to have you along with us!

Finally, he answered: “Yes, indeed.”

“Master, please let me go to Yavin IV! I won’t fail you!” Bastila exclaimed.

“No…He’s too strong…” Revan said slowly, “But I’ll dispatch you to Ruusan for another mission.”

“Ruusan? There is nothing except Valley of Jedi!” Bastila said.

“Exactly. Now go.” Revan waved to Bastila, and said, “I will take care of him.

Good Chapter CSI and I trust you in writing this Fic. Will Anakin help you with writing this as well? Oh and since I wasn't in the RP half of the time, feel free to make some scenes of Nauk/Grauk if you want.

[AT LAST! WE CAN POST! Here it goes...another chapter, not very long, but hope you guys enjoy. @Pottsie: I don't know if Anakin will help writing this fic, but I think so...]

Chapter 2

Outside Jedi Academy on Yavin IV, everything looked so peaceful. The gizkas were roaming around, the trees were shaking gently, which seemed to greet someone.

Inside the hall of Jedi Academy, a brown figure was sitting on the ground, meditating. He saw many images: Domination of Darth Revan, a huge Sith Armada, Nar Shaddaa, and lots of shattered images. He was deeply troubled and frowned: Dark side prevailed?

Not far from the gate, a shuttle landed on the courtyard. With a hiss noise, the loading ramp opened. Darth Revan, in his trademark robe, walked down the loading ramp. He looked around. His dark aura spread and sent waves of decaying around him. The trees decayed, and the leaves turned yellow, fell down from the barks. The Gizkas also decayed, they still lived, but their shapes were deformed.

When he walked to the stairs to the gate of the Jedi Temple on Yavin IV, he felt a very strong light aura had clashed with his dark aura. He smiled. Pathetic. Revan smiled under his mask and climbed up the stair. To his surprise, the light aura even negated his dark aura’s effect, it even resurrected the dead plants, healing the deformed gizkas…

When Revan stood at the gate to the hall of Jedi Temple, “Why do you come here, Darth Revan?” A firm sound echoed through the whole hall.

“Darth Nihilus!” Darth Revan laughed, but to us, it was just like wind is howling. Emptiness and decay corrupted Darth Revan’s sound.

“Darth Revan.” The one who sat on the ground, stood up, but kept his eyes closed, “It’s been a long time.”

“Too long. Hmph. You’ve even become a Jedi. A weak, pathetic Jedi.” He sneered.

I was a former Sith Lord, so don’t imagine that your old school trick would work on me. Darth Nihilus replied calmly: “First of all, I’m not Darth Nihilus. No more. My name is CSI.”

After a pause, CSI continued: “And I even know why you are here. To kill me, right? Then let’s see if you can kill me or not.”

“So be it, Jedi.” Revan used telekinesis to ignite his red lightsaber. He posed an Ataru stance.

“Lightsaber, huh? A tool for Jedi, a weapon for Sith.” CSI also used his impressive telekinesis skill to let his two curved lightsaber hilts spinning around his body, then held and ignited them. Two silver blades came out. “It’s nice to have you again, my old friends,” He whispered into his lightsabers. “What are you waiting for?” He turned to Darth Revan.

Revan roared: “You will die, Jedi!” and jumped in and slied at CSI’s head.
CSI smiled and crossed his lightsabers to encounter Darth Revan’s heavy blow to form a saber lock. “10 years…You’re still as impressive as you were.”

“SHUT UP!” Darth Revan shouted and broke the saber lock, and turned the lightsaber to make a wide slash. To his surprise, CSI’s body had vanished from a blur. “What?” He was very surprised.

Soon, he felt his shoulder being grabbed a hold and heard all too familiar lightsaber humming in front of his neck. CSI’s silver blade appeared in front of Revan’s neck. “Wondering how I did that? Surrender, and I won’t kill you,” His ear nerve had transmitted CSI’s cool, and calm voice.

“What the…” Darth Revan shouted and casted a Force Push on CSI. CSI was being pushed against the wall. Then he used Force Jump and prepared to cast a deadly blow to CSI.

CSI deactivated his left hand lightsaber and used his right hand lightsaber to block the deadly blow. The lightsabers clashed together emitted some energy sparks. “Heh, heh. Well, that’s a very ancient Jedi technique, called Force Teleport, a.k.a. Flash Step. It allows user to move faster than normal eyes can follow, so that one appears to teleport.” After a pause, he asked Revan briefly: “Well, Darth Revan, why, why, why? Why did you choose the dark side?”

[AT LAST! WE CAN POST! Here it goes...another chapter, not very long, but hope you guys enjoy. @Pottsie: I don't know if Anakin will help writing this fic, but I think so...

I am sorry, I can not work on it CSI... btw we are no longer rivals... maybe sparring rivals, but not neck to neck rivals.... anyway, I can't work on it, because I am working on the mod's (that both of ya'll know about) dialogues, I am not going to release it until I finish those, also, PM me and help me with the dialogues, I don't know what you two would say... :D Thanks

Another good Chapter CSI. It's nice to be back on LF, after the terrible problem with the Forums. Anyway, I'm sure you can continue this Fic for yourself and call it yours. Looking foward to more.

Two good chapters man, keep it up!

YAY! This fic is continuing. Nice chapters CSI. Looking forward to more.

@Pottsie: Nope. I won't call it mine because you started this fic...So I'll write, Originated from Pottsie and Anakin Skywalker. Written by Pottsie and CSI: Nihilus...

@AkumaSF: It's nice you like it. Thank you for compliment.

Hey, anytime. I just say what I think. When will the next chapter come out?

That, is a very good question.

I don't know...Hopefully tomorrow...

Chapter 3

“The reason I fell to the Dark side is none of your business…” Darth Revan growled, “For you, Jedi scum, are no match to the power I possess!”

CSI walked around and around. His blue eyes looked at Darth Revan. “Power? Power is useless. Why do I need power? Tell you what, winning the pointless duel is nothing to me.”

“DIE, Jedi scum!” Darth Revan casted Force Immunity full of hatred then he jumped toward CSI, “THIS TIME I WILL NOT MISS!” His shout is enough to short out a droid’s auditory sensor.

CSI closed his eyes and turned off his lightsaber. The Light aura appeared again and formed a twirl. Calm your mind, Exile’s words echoed through his brain, calm your mind, CSI, cast your flowing emotion away, and focus on the Force. Find his weakness, and try to turn him back. He casted his emotions away and focused on the Light side of the Force. Then he opened his eyes, everything is greatly slowed down—CSI can see Darth Revan was delivering the deadly bow by super slow motion. Smiling, he used Juyo stance and shot out his lightsaber toward Darth Revan.

“What the…” Revan’s eyes widened to see the white blur shot toward him. Narrowing his eyes, he stopped the blade and deflected it away from him. The lightsaber shut off, and hovered in the sky. “How dare you!” Revan snarled and white lightning shot out from his finger toward CSI.

CSI ignited his left hand lightsaber it caught the lightning and reflected the lightning away. He didn’t deflect the lightning towards to Darth Revan, because CSI hated fighting and killing.

Darth Revan smiled evilly and increased the power of Force Lightning. Suddenly, the lightning breached the lightsaber and began to crawl onto CSI's body. “Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh…” CSI shouted in pain as the lightning was all over CSI. He smiled in satisfaction. The joy of killing somebody never got so good.

CSI screamed like hell. He even forgot to use Flash Step.

Darth Revan laughed maniacally and shot out Force lightning at me. The lightning was burning CSI’s skin. The smell of burnt skin filled the hall. “Ha ha ha ha…” His maniac laughter filled in the room.

Closing his eyes, CSI wondered: “Am I done here?”

“No…you’re not done. You can’t die here.” A sound echoed through CSI’s ear.

“Who are you?” CSI tried to “see”.

“The Exile. Get up, my friend. You can’t die here.”

“I think I told you that winning and losing is not important to me.” CSI said back.

“Right, but remember, you need to survive, because the Jedi Order is in peril.”

Damn. How come I forgot that. I cursed myself. “Ahhhhh……” I regained consciousness and teleported away from Darth Revan’s dread Force Lightning.

Darth Revan was very surprised that CSI can even regain consciousness after such powerful Force Power. Later, he walked over to the spot to where CSI was: I will find you, and turn you to the Dark side, you will be my apprentice eventually!: He whispered allowing the Force to carry my voice to his skull.

Another good Chapter CSI. I hope you haven't copied and pasted from the RP. I'm just kidding, looking foward to more CSI.

I agree with Pottsie. This fic seems to be getting greater and greater.

Another good Chapter CSI. I hope you haven't copied and pasted from the RP. I'm just kidding, looking foward to more CSI.

No, Pottsie. This fic is based on RP, and I found the RP should be enriched to change it into fic. Throughout the fic, you can find lots of content is not on the RP, like the flashback of Darth Nihilus's redemption, Darth Revan overpowered the deflection of lightsaber, etc...They're not on the RP.

@Jason: Thank you for your compliment, and It's nice you like it.

Chapter 4

“That’s painful…” CSI sat in the darkest corner, crossed his legs, and began meditating. That often helped him a lot when his mind was flying around. The light aura expanded again. CSI calmed his flowing emotion down, and casted Master Heal. Sometimes Force can do amazing things, watching my wounds being healed so fast, CSI smiled. ::I won’t let you down, my old Jedi Masters and friends. I won’t let Jedi Order to be destroyed so fast!::

Suddenly, Darth Revan’s wicked speech crawled into my eardrum. ::I will FIND you,:: CSI can feel the darkness inside the speech, ::and TURN you into DARKSIDE! You will BE MY APPRENTICE eventually!:: CSI can feel the hatred and anger. Too deep, but redeemable. CSI thought. Smiled in confidence that he would redeem Revan into Light side, CSI stood up.

::I will find you! You cannot hide from me! My connection to the Force is more powerful than you ever know!:: Darth Revan continuously sent his jeer through the Force. Hmph. That old school trick no longer works on me. CSI thought and began counting Pazzaak Card in his head. With a Flash Step, CSI stood in front of Darth Revan: “Why do you look for me when you can see me? Are you blind?” CSI joked, ignited his silver lightsaber and posed an Ataru stance. “If you’re powerful, why don’t you strike me down?”

“Fine, you can think I’m blind, but becoming my apprentice and the power of the Dark side will be your ally!” Darth Revan retracted his lightsaber, held out his hand, and “kindly” offered a chance.

Suddenly a chill filled through CSI’s spine. That guy is turning me down! He wants to make me his apprentice! “No,” CSI retracted his lightsaber, too, and answered calmly, “I’m sorry, I let you down. The answer is no.” CSI thought for a while, looking like he was considering the idea, “It’s a very tempting idea, my friend, but sorry—Offer denied.”

“Then you will suffer, Jedi!” Darth Revan used Force Lightning towards CSI. CSI held out his palm, and absorbed the lightning energy. It formed a barrier on the palm and contaminated the lightning energy from Darth Revan. It formed like a energy ball.

Darth Revan was surprised to see CSI could doing this. He stopped the lightning.

Suddenly, CSI released the energy ball hovering on his palm. The lightning returned, but it was devastating Darth Revan’s body. Now it was Darth Revan’s turn to scream.

CSI stopped the lightning. Darth Revan looked irritated: “If I can’t win you on Force powers, then let’s decide the superiority on lightsaber duels,” Darth Revan ignited his lightsaber and a red blade came out. He snarled and charged toward CSI.

This time CSI jumped up, ignited his lightsaber, and landed harmlessly behind Darth Revan. With a shout, CSI gained his power and made a back flip toward the Darth Revan. Landing in front of Revan, he then flipped three times in the sky, and the lightsaber blade formed a light circle around CSI. “Surprised that I can use Ataru, huh? I may look like a Jedi Master, but I have mastered all lightsaber combat forms—especially Niman / Jar’Kai.” CSI smiled.

Suddenly, Darth Revan casted a Stasis Field. CSI didn’t response fast enough, and was caught in the Stasis. Damn, CSI thought as he fell to the ground, I’m too careless!

Darth Revan jumped up and used Force Push to open a pit and CSI’s stasis image fell right into it. Then CSI dropped on a table below the pit. With “click” sounds, the locks locked CSI’s arms and legs. Oh, no…How could I fell in such a dumb trap? CSI cursed himself.

Darth Revan jumped down into the pit and casted Force Lightning (Not strong) into CSI’s body…He can see the lightning were piercing, burning, and wounding his body. Blood began to flow out and blossomed on CSI’s Jedi Master Robe. “Become my apprentice CSI! Forget helping weak people, kill them instead. I can kill you, but I want you to be alive long enough to show you the True Power of the Darkness!”

Thanks for telling me CSI. Good Chapter as always. You're better at writing this type of Fic, more than me.

Good chapter CSI, nothing much to say except maybe you're spending too much time on this small duel i believe. :lol:

Good chapter CSI, nothing much to say except maybe you're spending too much time on this small duel i believe. :lol:

Like I said before,I have to enrich the parts in the RP in order to make it into a story...Right? Like the duel, if I simply copy and paste, then this fic su**$. So I decided to focus on first dueling and torments, since there will be no final dueling.

Chapter 5

Lying on the table, CSI said nothing. He could see Darth Revan was walking around and around him, hands below chin indicated Darth Revan was thinking. Through the Force, CSI can clearly hear what Darth Revan was thinking: “How can I turn him down? Ah…Yes…” Stealthy, CSI casted Force Armor. The invisible armor appeared around CSI’s body.

Suddenly, Darth Revan seemed to have noticed something, and turned to CSI and pushed more Lightning into him, only this time making it stronger.

Thanks to Force Armor, I suffered less. CSI thought. He tried hard to control his emotion by enchanting the Jedi Code: “There is no emotion, there is peace…”

Darth Revan bent down toward CSI and whispered into his ear: “I sense your emotion, Jedi scum! You were once the Dark Lord of Sith who served with my retarded master Darth Traya…Follow me and the Dark Lords will rule the galaxy!” Then he laughed maniacally like Malak’s laughter.

CSI shook his head and rolled his eyes: “Rule the galaxy? Hmph. I have no interest in that. I know I was Darth Nihilus, but this time, Darth Traya won’t affect on me now.” Moved his index finger to renew his Force Armor, “Besides, why don’t you give me a good sleep already?”

Now Darth Revan was angry. CSI sensed his anger flowed throughout his body. His hatred fueled the Force Lightning and made it more powerful. CSI screamed: “Aaaarrrrghhhhh!” Even with protection of Force Armor, CSI still felt his skin was charred by the Lightning.

“You are not getting any rest until you are MY apprentice! Darth Nihilus WILL REBORN!” Darth Revan raised his spare hand into the sky, and made a grab pose as if he wanted to dominate all the galaxy.

Suddenly, CSI decided to not let Darth Revan’s evil plan succeed. His willpower even increased dramatically and answered calmly: “Your apprentice?” I replied despite of the pain, as the Lightning was still charring my body, “Sorry, I already had a master. Somewhere. Besides, why don’t you simply kill me instead of wasting your valuable Force Power?”

“No, no, no. You’re mistaken.” Darth Revan stopped the Force Lightning, and crossed his arms in front of his torso, “Your power was never about the Sith when you were with us…you were just hungry for death…Become my apprentice, and I can teach you more than that stupid Darth Traya could, and become one of the most powerful Sith!”

“Man…I don’t even want to remark on your wrong remark about my former ability. Darth Nihilus was hunger for power, not dead!” CSI laughed at Darth Revan for his stupid mistake.

Frustrated and angered, Darth Revan snarled and shifted from Force Lightning to Force Storm: “You will pay for this, for angering me, you Jedi fool!”

CSI screamed like hell. The pain increased. He felt his blood was running out again. This time the blood was running out freely. I bit my teeth tight and squeezed words out of my teeth: “Did I say my master was Darth Traya? Hmph. Darth Traya is just a typical Sith Lord. Manipulative, selfish. You think Sith are strong because Sith made other afraid of them. That’s why. The ultimate strong is love, to spread peace among others. Ah…Never mind, I know you will never change your original idea, although I feel there is still some good in you…”

“BECOME MY APPRENTICE!” Darth Revan yelled like thunder, “AND ALL THESE POWERS CAN BE YOURS!” He used Force Storm again, but this time it was stronger, “You’re foolish for angering me and your stubbornness for not turning! Do you remember the thrill you had as a Dark Lord? I can return that feeling…to teach you to feed on other Force Sensitives, to destroy the Republic!”

Good Chapter, as always, even if it was short. There was two mistakes I noticed in this quote. It's bolded for you. Below are the corrections.

Chapter 5

Laying on the table, CSI said nothing. He can see that Darth Revan was walking around and around him, hands below chin indicated Darth Revan was thinking.

Lying - Laying
Can - Could

Looking foward to more as always.

People lie down or are said to be lying down. You lay things down. Since CSI is a person, the correct way to write it is "Lying on the table, CSI said nothing." English minutia for today.... :) --Jae

That, is what I'm talking about...

Yes, good chapter, keep it up CSI.

Chapter 6

“Awww…” I twisted my face to indicate the deafening loud noise, and felt the voice was destroying my eardrum, “Quiet down a little bit! I’m not deaf! So what? I’m just not as passionate as you. Who said I want to be strong? Oh, I forgot you have a short-term memory loss. Let me refresh your memory: I told you winning or losing is not important to me. I’m only interested on how to help others, how to spread love and peace, and how to stop insane ones like you.”

Darth Revan sighed. He left the table and walked around and around the table and said in his far-away voice: “CSI, why are you so stubborn? You will become my apprentice even if I have to kill you and then bring you back to life as a Dark Lord!” Then his hands reached out like a claw, and white lightning climbed on CSI’s body.

CSI can tolerate this pain no more. He smiled and said calmly to Darth Revan: “Then kill me. Let me tell you something. There is no such Force Power to reincarnate other life beings! Think about it: if we have that kind of Force Power, we will gain countless Jedi. Besides, even if you have that Force Power, why don’t you revive other Sith Lords such as Naga Sadow, Darth Bandon, Lord Kaan, Freedon Nadd, Ajunta Pall, Ludo Kressh and other Sith Lords? Oh, knock it off!”

Darth Revan felt surprised. He never thought that this Jedi was so persistent. “Listen,” He bent down and whispered into CSI’s ear, “I can’t revive them because of their tremendous power! But you, young Jedi, can be such a Sith Lord.” Then he stood up and released his deadly lightning bolts at me again, “I sense your anger in your heart…You want to kill me!”

“Oh, I got the picture. And you forgot ‘again’. Therefore I will never bow before you and turn to Sith Lord. Kill you? Am I insane? No, I’m not insane enough to kill because I don’t know what I benefit of killing you? By the way, pain is just weak leaving the body. Besides, aren’t you Sith hunger of power?” CSI twisted his face because of the pain.

“HA! Now you admit it! You and the Jedi are weak!” Darth Revan held his fist together, and waved it on CSI’s face and said triumphantly, “The Sith feel no pain after they are masters! Our apprentices do, even a Jedi Master feels pain! Yes, but without your Power Siphoning ability, we can’t get any more power from them! And now my patience had reached its limit…” Then Darth Revan used Force Scream on CSI…”TURN…TO…THE…DARK…SIDE!”

CSI groaned a little and tried hard to resist the effect of Force Scream. His eyes began to blur. “Oh, that. Huh.” CSI began to murmur in such a quiet sound that Darth Revan had to focus on the sound so hard that he can hear them: “You contrasted us, jeered us weak, and that made you strong? Man…Come on, that’s laughable! And why don’t you just struck your lightsaber down on me and everything is over?” After his last word, CSI smiled. Especially CSI can see his many former friends with the Force.

Suddenly I felt a cold chill running up my spine. I can sense his anger was running, his hatred was gaining his power…With a shout, Darth Revan’s palm shot out flames and hit CSI’s face. Behind his mask, his eyes were gleaming a golden red, “I gave you a chance, Jedi, Now you will SUFFER!”

*Boom! [The sound with FX effect really rocks!—George Lucas]* The smog filled in the room. What on Coruscant is that power? CSI closed his eyes and can feel flames burning on his face. Is it over? CSI wondered.

“No, Jedi! It’s not over!” CSI’s ear was boomed by Darth Revan’s thunderous voice. Clearly he read CSI’s facial expression through the flames, “The Dark Side is stronger…And I told you, Jedi…Join the Dark Side or face your doom!” Darth Revan raised his hands again and casted Flame Strike, fire came out of Darth Revan’s hand and kept growing stronger…

CSI attempted to resist the power. But the power was too strong! The more he resisted the more angry Darth Revan got and the more the power grew.

Good chapter, CSI

Good chapter, CSI

Agreed.

Chapter 7
“Arrrrk…” CSI screamed as the flame was burning the body. Suddenly, he heard a hollow sound, which echoes inside his skull: “Turn to the Dark side…Why are you so persistent?”

“Go to hell.” CSI replied to the echo.

“Good. You passed the test. Now you will learn a new technique, Force Restore. It’s just a master version of Healing, and the healing speed is so fast that it will heal all wounds almost instantly.” The hollow sound again.
CSI said nothing, but smiled.

Darth Revan got confused. His glowing red eye saw CSI smiling. He thought: “What happened? Why can he smile? Why?”

“Hmph. Force Flame Strike, right?” CSI closed his eyes, and showed an bright aura of peace. “Why don’t you give me more? Since nobody is here to help me, why don’t you simply kill me, right here, right now?” Slowly re-opened his eyes which began to glow very brightly, he shouted: “Force Restore!” A blue mist covered his whole body.

Darth Revan’s mouth opened wide in astonishment, and backed a few steps. He used Force Sight to look through the mist, and saw his body was being healed in amazing speed, the mist was closing all burn marks, scars, and other wounds. CSI was back…The Force brought him back once more.

That pissed Darth Revan’s off…Darth Revan growled and snarled: “Ahhh!! Jedi, you will SUFFER!” And Flame Strike grew so strong that it was like molten lava on Mustafar…The flame was consuming his Jedi Robe, which was slowly turning black and revealing armors beneath it. “I warned you, Jedi, now I’m going to ask you one last time…Will you become my apprentice, or will you suffer a fate worse than death?”

Fatigued, CSI lie on bed and gasped for air. He used the Force to transmit his persistence on Light Side: ::Come on, bring it on. What else? I even nearly died once, remember? Bring it on and give me a quick death so I am immortal!”

Darth Revan thought: That persistent Jedi is a royal pain in the butt. But I can bring him to Star Forge and turn him! He cleaned his throat and shouted: “Then it is time that you go into Limbo, I’m going to take you back to the Star Forge!” The sound is so loud that it can short out droid’s auditory receptor. With a shout, more flames and molten lava poured onto CSI. CSI felt the pain was back. The smog filled in the room and Darth Revan’s sight was slowly blurred. He only can hear CSI’s scream…

Suddenly, Darth Revan heard a familiar sound “Hello?”. It was behind him! Darth Revan jumped around and ignited his lightsaber in lightning speed and saw a ghost figure stood there. When the smog lightened, he recognized it was CSI. CSI continued with his sarcastic tone: “What are you doing, my friend? Since when interrogation became popular among the Sith?”

“What the…” Darth Revan shout in astonishment and held out his left arm and attempted to Force Choke CSI. But CSI was faster than him and casted a Force Immunity on himself hence successfully resisted the Force Power, “How did you escape? I will get you!”

CSI nearly wet his pants and casted Master Speed and Force Jumped out of the pit. But more importantly, from Darth Revan. CSI thought: I obviously don’t want that dreaded interrogation again!

::Run! Nihilus, run! I will get you and you will become my apprentice or you will die!:: After Force Jumped out of the pit, Darth Revan used Force to transmit his evil word to CSI, who was running in front of him. Suddenly, CSI stopped at the big gate.

“Why do you stop?” Darth Revan ignited his lightsaber and approached CSI evilly.

CSI neither replied nor show panic.

With a yell, Darth Revan stroke his lightsaber down onto CSI’s abdomen with his full strength, which was fueled by anger and hatred.