I've got a banner for The Sith Lord now. It was made by Sabretooth and it is above the first Chapter. Thanks Sabre.
Nice work Pottsie. I was confused about what happened between Luke and the girl padawan he had been fighting? Is she dead?
She was reedeemed. Gevallen was Farra Koo. Farra was mentioned as the "now reedeemed" Farra.
Yes,but it didn't show how she was redeemed.
Good,good.Fall even deeper onto the Dark Side!Now really,good.Altough a bit short.make a jedi come and jadens anger rises so much his lightsaber turned red
make a jedi come and jadens anger rises so much his lightsaber turned red
His Lightsaber was already red and what good will that do?
I so think there should be a sqeal but i have no idea how
*Snip*
connor, please do not advertise your fiction in another persons thread, please read our Forum Rules before posting again. I have deleted your advertising part of your post. -RH
After I finish my current Fanfic, Descendant of the Exile, I may will do a Sequel. I also have some idea what to do.
Edit: Good news everyone. The Sith Lord has over 1000 views. Party down.
:guiness: :cowdance :sbdance :guitar2 :bounmult: :urpboun: :lock: :3pdance: :band1
Pottsie, I have deleted your two spam posts, you know the rules against bumping threads, an update/new chapter is one thing, these 1000 view celebratory posts are not. -RH
What a fic Pottsie!!!!!! I will now read your sequel to this!
What a fic Pottsie!!!!!! I will now read your sequel to this!
Thanks John. Your Fic is also great and one of the most original Fics I've read.
Awwwww thanks Pottsie im so glad to be praised by a great writer such as yourself :)
This may disappoint some people, but any Sequels will be cancelled, because:
A. It wouldn't be good.
B. I've already had two attempts at a Sequel.
C. I'm not as excited as I was with this.
darnet,don't double post,btw whats wrong with TSL 2 TROM
darnet,don't double post,btw whats wrong with TSL 2 TROM
Authors of their Fanfics are aloud to double post (eg, look at Sabretooth's, Niner's). As I've already explained in my previous post, I couldn't be bothered to write TSL II. Sorry. Expect another Fanfic soon.
hey pottsie you wanna try doing another fan fic with me again?
hey pottsie you wanna try doing another fan fic with me again?
I don't think so jedi_exile. I don't think it works as well. Its better off writing our own Fanfics. Besides yours is good and you shouldn't give up with that.
lol, i wasnt planning on giving up anything
lol, i wasnt planning on giving up anything
That's alright then. Also feel free to discuss anything about The Sith Lord. Ask me questions and answers, anything.
How I thought up Malus (Jaden Korr):
I wanted an evil name that people could remember (Like Vader/Sidious) and when I typed in Evil for Dutch or Latin (Can't remember which one it was) and it came up with Malus. I used that from then on.
His dark personality comes from Vader, Sidious and Maul.
These are just any topic you can talk about. Ask me a question and I'll give you an answer.
I mentioned about doing this earlier in this. The Alternate Ending to the Sith Lord. Enjoy.
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Alternate Ending (A New Reign of Terror)
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Malus slowly walked towards his wounded Master and circled around him. Malus ignited his Lightsaber and prepared to deliever the final attack. Without expecting it, Kyle pushed Malus away from him. Malus fell backwards onto several chairs. Kyle weakly got up and grabbed his Lightsaber.
“The Sith won’t win today Jaden!” He shouted confidently.
Malus got up.
“You’ve always been arrogant Kyle!” Malus shouted.
“It doesn’t matter, until I’ve killed you.” Malus told him.
Before either Malus or Kyle could attack again, Luke entered the room, killing several Imperial Guards behind him. RedHawke had followed him.
“Well isn’t this nice?” Kyle asked, “A reunion.”
“Be quiet Kyle!” Malus shouted, “Prepare to die!”
Malus ran towards Kyle attacking him. Luke joined with Kyle to help him. RedHawke stayed and watched them fight. This was entertainment. Lights of blue, green and red Lightsabers blurred about all over the room. The heat of the Lightsabers bounced back onto their faces, causing them to sweat. Malus pushed Kyle backwards and fought Luke. Luke was much stronger than Kyle. He seemed more relaxed. Malus eventually stabbed at Luke’s leg, causing him to fall over.
“RedHawke!” Malus shouted, “Do your worst!”
RedHawke prepared to shoot large bolts of Lightning at them.
Kyle and Luke were screaming out in pain. RedHawke’s power was strong, strong enough to kill anybody in five minutes.
“Jaden! Help!” Kyle shouted.
Malus looked at both Kyle, Luke and RedHawke. He didn’t know what to do. Could he return to the Light Side? Could he destroy the Sith forever? Malus once again looked at Kyle, Luke and RedHawke. Malus ran towards RedHawke, but his Lightsaber was blasted out of his hand. Malus raised his hands and shot his own bolts of Lightning at RedHawke. Malus would use the rest of his power to save both Kyle and Luke. Kyle and Luke watched in shock as Malus tried to resist the Lightning. Malus pushed himself harder to try to kill RedHawke. Malus’ power increased, but it wasn’t enough to kill RedHawke. Malus immediately pulled his Lightsaber to him and threw it into RedHawke’s chest. He yelled in pain and Malus used the last of his power to kill RedHawke. RedHawke collapsed onto the floor. Dead. Malus looked at Kyle and Luke. Was Malus reedeemed? Malus grabbed his Lightsaber and slashed Kyle’s head off his body. His head rolled across the room, blood pouring onto the floor. Luke immediately got out his Lightsaber, but Malus destroyed it with one stroke. He then held his Lightsaber towards Luke. Two Royal Imperial Guards entered the room.
“Take Master Skywalker and my dead Master to the medical bay,” Malus told them, “I shall deal with them later.”
The Guards took Luke and the remains of Kyle and dragged them to the medical bay.
An hour later, Malus entered the medical bay. Luke looked up to see Malus.
“Please Jaden, return to the light.” Luke pleaded.
“Never!” Malus shouted, “After your death, no one shall stand against me and my new Empire.”
Malus knew this wasn’t true. All his armies had been destroyed, though they had destroyed the New Republic’s army and the Jedi. After Luke was dead, Malus would rebuild. It was time.
“Say goodbye, Master Skywalker.” Malus told Luke with anger in his voice.
Malus got out his Lightsaber and stabbed Luke. After two minutes of holding his Lightsaber in Luke’s body, Luke had died. Malus prepared to increase his power, by feeding on both Kyle and Luke. But before he could, the medical bay door opened. Officer Starkiller had somehow survived the battle.
“My lord, what are you doing?” He asked.
“We shall rebuild our new Empire,” Malus told him, “With us leading our new Empire, nothing shall stand in our way. Now go!”
Officer Starkiller left. Malus called upon the dark side of the Force to feed on Kyle and Luke. Malus was the most powerful Sith in the history of the entire Galaxy.
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The End
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Good.Maybe a neutral one,lol.
Good.Maybe a neutral one,lol.
Maybe when I have the time.
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Alternate Ending (An Unchosen Path)
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Malus slowly walked towards his wounded Master and circled around him. Malus ignited his Lightsaber and prepared to deliever the final attack. Without expecting it, Kyle pushed Malus away from him. Malus fell backwards onto several chairs. Kyle weakly got up and grabbed his Lightsaber.
“The Sith won’t win today Jaden!” He shouted confidently.
Malus got up.
“You’ve always been arrogant Kyle!” Malus shouted.
“It doesn’t matter, until I’ve killed you.” Malus told him.
Before either Malus or Kyle could attack again, Luke entered the room, killing several Imperial Guards behind him. RedHawke had followed him.
“Well isn’t this nice?” Kyle asked, “A reunion.”
“Be quiet Kyle!” Malus shouted, “Prepare to die!”
Malus ran towards Kyle attacking him. Luke joined with Kyle to help him. RedHawke stayed and watched them fight. This was entertainment. Lights of blue, green and red Lightsabers blurred about all over the room. The heat of the Lightsabers bounced back onto their faces, causing them to sweat. Malus pushed Kyle backwards and fought Luke. Luke was much stronger than Kyle. He seemed more relaxed. Malus eventually stabbed at Luke’s leg, causing him to fall over.
“RedHawke!” Malus shouted, “Do your worst!”
RedHawke prepared to shoot large bolts of Lightning at them.
Meanwhile in the Jedi Temple, Luke and Kyle were screaming out in pain. RedHawke’s power was strong, strong enough to kill anybody in five minutes.
“Jaden! Help!” Kyle shouted.
Malus looked at both Kyle, Luke and RedHawke. He didn’t know what to do. Could he return to the Light Side? Could he destroy the Sith forever? Malus once again looked at Kyle, Luke and RedHawke. Malus ran towards RedHawke, but his Lightsaber was blasted out of his hand. Malus raised his hands and shot his own bolts of Lightning at RedHawke. Malus would use the rest of his power to save both Kyle and Luke. Kyle and Luke watched in shock as Malus tried to resist the Lightning. Malus pushed himself harder to try to kill RedHawke. Malus’ power increased, but it wasn’t enough to kill RedHawke. Kyle got up and threw his Lightsaber at RedHawke. It was stuck in RedHawke’s chest. He yelled in pain and Malus used the last of his power to kill RedHawke. RedHawke collapsed onto the floor. Dead. Malus looked at Kyle and Luke. Was Malus reedeemed?
“I shall no longer walk the path of the dark side.” Jaden told them.
Kyle and Luke were pleased at the news, until Jaden added.
“However, I won’t walk the path of the light side either.”
“What?” Kyle asked.
“It is too much for me to bear,” Jaden told him, “Light side, dark side. Whatever path I walk will cause harm to those around me. I must be alone.”
Luke looked sad, but agreed with Jaden.
“If this is what you want Jaden, then we shall not stop you.” Luke said.
“Thank you Master Skywalker,” Jaden said, “And Kyle, you will see me again. I promise you.”
Jaden grabbed his Lightsaber and left the Jedi Temple.
Outside, he found an X-Wing and left Coruscant. Where would Jaden go now? He needed somewhere to think. To think for a long time. He finally decided to go to the Unknown Regions and think about all that had happened. He had no idea what he was doing at the moment. The time in the Unknown Regions should help. Jaden decided that he would spend at least two years there. The Force was with them today. There was peace in the Galaxy. The Force truly did have it’s ways.
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The End
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Nice to see all the endings.
The only issues I had were both small and technical--since lightsabers cauterize as they cut, there would be no blood all over the place when Kyle was beheaded in the DS version of the ending. That would only happen with something like a regular sword. And in the neutral ending, Malus has just created a huge mess, but they let him go. Wouldn't they bring him to justice for all the stuff he'd done when DS?
I wondered how Farra was redeemed, too.
The final battle you used more description, which I liked seeing--I could visualize the scene better.
You wrote a lot for this fic--cool!
You wrote a lot for this fic--cool!
Thanks Jae, The Adventures of Jolee Bindo is going good too. Anyway, I may correct that blood thing, but I tried to make it gruesome. The neutral ending where Jaden got let off, I suppose once Jaden returned, Luke and Kyle would trial him. The Jedi Academy is less strict than it was in the days of the Old Republic.
I thought different endings would be good. I got that inspiration from the Revenge of the Sith (PS2 version) game.
i like killing obi 1 in rots game :D
i like ds better btw
connor, please do not double post in other peoples threads, while I understand it is allowable in your own fanfic thread, no more ok? Thanks. -RH
i like killing obi 1 in rots game :D
i like ds better btw
Personally, I prefer LS, but for Jedi Academy, the DS ending, could have a better Sequel than the LS. On KOTOR and TSL, I usually play LS.
Wow. And i thought my chapters were long. It's interesting to see different endings to the story, but what I don't generally like is using the existing characters as the main characters of a story.This story had to be done in that way, that I understand, but sometimes it seemed like you forced KoTOR characters (like Kreia's ghost) and locations to appear in this story, when they weren't really necessary.
Wow. And i thought my chapters were long. It's interesting to see different endings to the story, but what I don't generally like is using the existing characters as the main characters of a story.This story had to be done in that way, that I understand, but sometimes it seemed like you forced KoTOR characters (like Kreia's ghost) and locations to appear in this story, when they weren't really necessary.
To be honest, my Chapters aren't that long either, but I like to do them at least two pages. Maybe I just felt like adding KOTOR Characters into the story (The beginning) for Jaden's descent to the Dark Side. Besides that was only one KOTOR Character and a mention of a certain Character.
Anyway thanks for the review igyman and I hope to read your Fanfic.
Pottsie, I just finished reading this, and it was really addictive. I couldnt stop reading it after the first few chapters. Great fic! Oh, and by the way, I think I liked the nuetral ending the best, it left open more possibilities at the end.
Now I need to go read your other fic. :)
Pottsie, I just finished reading this, and it was really addictive. I couldnt stop reading it after the first few chapters. Great fic! Oh, and by the way, I think I liked the nuetral ending the best, it left open more possibilities at the end.
Now I need to go read your other fic. :)
Wow, none of my Fics have ever been called addictive before. Thanks. Feel free to vote at the Entertainment Center Awards 2006.
The RP for my very first Fic has begun casting. Feel free to join by clicking the picture below (Thanks ForceFightWMe12).
http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a240/BastilaRevanforever/595684ac.jpg) (
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=169076)
Sorry if I'm resurrecting my old Thread. Today, I posted The Sith Lord in another Forum, known as Serebii.Net Forums (Which is a Pokйmon Forum, though I don't like it as much as Star Wars). I've posted it there and nobody likes it (Deja Vu with Sabretooth's Jaden Korr Fic at Fanfiction.Net). The (Closed) Thread can be located here (
http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=144899).
This experience just proves why the people at LucasForums are much more friendlier then at Serebii (It's popular too and I don't know why).
Could be, but as you said yourself, it isn't a Star Wars forum, so maybe the people that visit it simply aren't into Star Wars.
Edit: OK, scratch everything I just said. I just took a look at the link you provided and you are absolutely right. If they don't like it fine, but there's no reason to, pardon my expression, spit all over it. :(
Could be, but as you said yourself, it isn't a Star Wars forum, so maybe the people that visit it simply aren't into Star Wars.
Oh I agree, it's just that if they didn't like Star Wars, then they shouldn't read it.
Nah, you're absolutely right, read the edit I put in my previous post.
Nah, you're absolutely right, read the edit I put in my previous post.
I have. Thanks for the support, igyman.
well of course this place is better its awsome this place rocks plus i don't really like pokemon so ***them
There are ways to critique, and there are ways not to critique. I disagree with the style of critique that is offered on that particular forum. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. However, that's their choice. It's also a Pokemon site and not SW--so I don't expect them to feel the same way about it as people here might.
What I'd like to see all of us do when offering a critique is to be honest but also be respectful. All of us have areas where we can improve on. We're being dishonest with ourselves if we can't admit that. All of us have strengths in our fics, too.
However, saying 'this is great!' or 'it sucks!' doesn't help much, because it doesn't address the specific good or bad things.
What parts were great? What was specifically wrong that made something bad? If you point out things to improve, also point out some things that went well. We want to keep the good stuff and change the bad stuff.
Now, we should move back on topic. No more forum-bashing, please, even if we don't agree with how they run things. If someone has a specific problem, they should take it up with the moderators (or probably in Pottsie's specific case, an admin) at that particular site rather than here. We can't do anything here about it and so let's move on to discussing this particular fic.
Pottsie, consider reading your fic out loud--I think you'll catch some of the grammar issues that way. I miss some of mine, especially repeat words, if I don't read it out loud. Feel free to revise your chapters here--I'm revising mine because some things definitely needed to be cleared up and cleaned up. You're not locked in on the chapter once you post it.
I do like how evil Malus is--keep that.
Thanks Jae, that really helps. Although, like you said, people should explain why the said the things they said. I know it isn't a Star Wars site, but it did say Non-Pokйmon Fics, so anything goes. I haven't really bothered with any Admins, because the Member that flamed my Fic does it with most Fics (Simon Cowell anyone?) and she doesn't get into trouble (At least not that I know of). Thanks for everyone's support and I'm just glad that the Members/Mods here are helpful and friendly.
I was on the Serebii Forums today and I noticed that it's being hacked. Anyway, going Off-Topic, if I did a new Special Edition of this Fic with a different storyline, etc, would anyone read it?
where is it
I'm currently writing it. I'll try to get it up as soon as possible.
Sure, I'd love to read it. :)
Sure, I'd love to read it. :)
Thanks Niner. Now that I feel, I've improved on my skills, I think that since this version was quite bad, I think I'll do a new version. Expect it soon. I was thinking of a new Title, but if not, I'll just use The Sith Lord Special Edition.
:duel: that was so so cool i actually cried dude cant wait to c another thread of yours :duel: