Well people its the sequel to AOJS (Adventures of John Skywalker) if you havent read that then dont bother reading this. I've been thinking about what to do about this for a while, but the first chapter is ready.:)
Ok, then why haven't you posted it?
I hope that it works good. I'll watch this.
Chapter One
The noise had awakened him, it was the humming of what sounded like a lightsaber, he could feel nothing but pain, but he had to get up to see what was going on. It took him quite a while to get up he found himself in a room he had never been in before, he walked out of the room were the humming was getting louder, but before he could get closer a women in a robe walked up to him, moving in his path and pulling down her hood, she was the most beutiful woman she had ever seen her brown locks glistening on her head, and her brown eyes and red full lips were mesmirising, he could see a wedding ring on her finger, instinctively he looked down at his hand and there was a wedding ring also on his wedding finger also. He looked into his wifes eyes and leaned in for a kiss and they kissed passionately. The woman then broke the lock quickly and then ran into the room that he had come from, he wanted to chase after her but was drawn by the humming. He walked outside and saw were the humming was coming from, it was a blood red saber and it was being held by a dark hooded figure, the figure ran at himand went for his head with the lighsaber.
He woke and sat up in his bed, just a dream, he thought and he was glad that he was right.
"You alright their John boy?", the man called.
"oh, yes Mr Fitz just a bad dream thats all", John said breathlessly
"Well its your eighteength birthday today so weve got you a few aurodium ingots to spend in town."
"Thank you Mr Fitz your and Mrs Fitz have put up with me for 3 years now and i am grateful you have", John said
"Dont worry John were glad to help were just a small village and when we found you we were worried that you were dead, and were glad you arent", Fitz said this while walking out. John put on his worn out Sith robe and his cloak, he hated wearing it since the betrayel that happened the day he was forced to leave known space. The villagers here did'nt even know were they were which just heaped on more frustration to return to Coruscant and see his brothe that he has never seen Anakin. Whilst having breakfast all John could think about was the woman in his dreams, maybe its a vision of whats going to happen, John thought, or maybe im just an 18 year old Sith shmuck who wishes for a wife, he thought the latter one was more right.
After dinner Fitz had asked him if he could collect some fire wood, this village never had the luxury of what Coruscant had and it took John quite a while to get used to it, he knew he was a city boy. Since it was early John decided to go deep into the forest to get the best fire wood. He was picking up some fire wood when he heard a twig break, he whizzed around, there was a man with an identical cloak to what he had on.
"Well well if it is'nt John Skywalker, hows days as a low life scum?", the man smiled.
"Who are you and how do you know my name?", John demanded, the man ignored Johns questions and went on.
"I have a propersition for you, how would you like to finish your training with the true sith?", the man smiled again.
"True sith? what are you talking about?"
"Do you not think what planet your on? Bad things happen if they name this planet, but the people you live with are our descendents they know about us so they cant leave, this John is Korriban.", John laughed,
"You fool I am not stupid the true Sith are extinct, your just wannabes, now if you excuse me.", John force pushed the Sith man, who went flying, and John started running tapping into the force to run as fast as he can.
He returned to the village to find it ablaze all the houses were burning down. Their was a cackle of laughter, and John turned around it was the man from the woods.
Interesting.
Just one thing: As far as I remember, Korriban doesn't have trees or any flora and fauna.
dont worry Vladimir. It will all be explained soon:)
If it's some kind of alternate reality thing I'm going to hurt you...:xp:
Looks good so far, John! Can't wait for more!
Lol thanks Doctor im not revealing anything about the story:)
Just noticed this! Great job, as always, and keep it coming.
Yep looks good. Looking forward to seeing more.
So it has been over a month since your first chapter John. Where ya at man? This looks good so far, I just noticed it as well. I hope that you haven't forgotten about your story. :(
I like the first chapter--intriguing. I'm having a bit of trouble reading with the spelling and grammar issues, and if you clean those up just a bit, this will be even better.
I'm enjoying the story, so please keep writing.
Wow! i havent been here for a long time! Trust me when i say a new chapter will be here soon.
I was wondering if you would ever return. Check out my Fic, The Sith Lord.
nice chapter i like ... if you want you can check out my fic also, The Second Coming of Evil, i need some more posts on it lol :D
hope to see more very soon
the new chapter is here guys!
Chapter Two
"What have you done to this village!", John demanded, taking a step forward to the man.
"Ha! Look again at your precious village", the man said, laughing through his nose.
John turned to see that there was nothing ablaze anymore, but just rock and ruins, even the wood behind the man had dissappeared, all of what had John had been getting used to was gone in a matter of seconds, was he going crazy?
"Korriban has such a dark presence that not even plants can grow you fool, I thought that you would know this."
John started to believe the man he had been fooled for three years, but how?
"Tell me old man why i have been decepted like this.", John demanded.
"Ok, i will tell you all i know. You landed here three years ago we found you but the master of this land meant to test you, you see he has a very special technique that allows him to manipulate any man's midi chlorians and make them tell you anything he wants you to hear, leaving you seeing things that are'nt really there, all we did is bring some food and water now and then which you mistaked for different people."
John's head was reeling from what had just been said but there was still one unanswered question.
"Why did you go through all this trouble to do this to me?" John asked.
"Well what is you're given name?", the man asked
"Darth Magmus" John replied
"Our master is called Darth Magmus also."
"And what does that have to do with me?"
"I will take you to our academy, my master will answer you're questions", he turned and started walking and, reluctantly, John started to follow.
After a couple of hours they finally reached what looked like a palace that lay in ruin but was still safe enough to be standing, they went inside and John could'nt believe the amount of Sith that were there, the crowd fell silent as soon as he entered then one spoke out.
"Is that the one!?", he said enthusiastically.
"We will have to see, come Magmus", the man said to John and as soon as the name Magmus was said the Sith hushed up again. John followed the man into a couple of halls and then into a bedroom.
"Sleep, and tonight you will go to the cave to see my master", The man said.
"Cave?", John replied looking confused.
"You will see, now rest", he walked away John felt uneasy, he didnt trust these Sith but he had to, he will play their little game now, he thought as he was dozing off, tonight he will get some answers.
Good chapter John. And welcome back!! Geez you were gone for a long time. You had better get caught up on my Fic, it's about to end. :)
Finally. I almost forgot about his one. Good job.
cool needs chap 3
*Snip*
connor, do not advertise your fiction in another persons thread, please read our Forum Rules before posting again. I have deleted your advertising part of this post. -RH
Wll chapter three is here!
Chapter Three
"Wake up!"
John opened his eyes, the man that led him to this place was standing in the doorway.
"Come Magmus and you will see our master".
They walked out of the Sith camp and down a winding path,none talked, the man stopped outside a cave.
"Our master is in there", the man pointed, John gave him a confusing look but walked in anyway, the man did not follow, and each step consumed john into the darkness.
It felt like hours John was walking through staying alert to any sound that didnt come. He was just about to turn back when candle lights came on and he was standing in front of a translucent man who was wearing a robe with the hood hiding his face.
"I've been waiting for you Magmus", the ghost said.
"I want answers", John said defiantly.
"Of course, do you know why me and you were given the name Magmus?"
"No"
"Because me and you can work up such a rage that it is as hot as molten lava or magma", John found this intrigueing but before he could speak the man went on.
"I know you want to be great and the sith prophecy states that the chosen one will be great, and, my boy you are the chosen one", excitement rose in John, was that his destiny?
"I made the prophecy", the ghost went on," that is why you were named after me"
"Say what happens to me before i become great?", John asked.
"You have to weave that part of your destiny yourself."
"What must i do now?", John asked
"Open the tomb", the man pointed the tomb and John walked up to it. It didnt take long to open inside was a lightsaber the hand grip was silver while the hilt and the bottom were made of gold, their was also a dark beautifully woven tunic and Robe.
"That lightsaber, which was once mine, is now yours,as are my robes", John picked it up the patience in making this one lightsaber must have been intense it was a truly beautiful design, he ignited it and a long bar of crimson red came out, John smiled to himself wilst he took off his tattered Robes for the new pair they felt warm.
"Now what must i do?", John said.
"Get off this planet but my people will not let you take the only ship which you came in, its on the top floor in the Sith base"
"They stand in my way and they will be destroyed", John replied with a hint of anger.
"Good, Now lord Magmus go and bring supremacy to the Sith!", and with that John bowed and turned and walked out. It took him time to get back out of the cave but when he did the man was waiting for him.
"I need to use that spaceship in your camp", John demanded
"I'm sorry but you can't we need-", John did'nt let him finish as he ignited his saber and cut his head off, John started walking back up to the camp.
While he was on his way to the top level of the Sith base John had wiped out alot of them, The meeting in the camp had changed him he now knew what he needed to do in his life, he knew what his destiny was. After killing the remaining of the camp he entered the mini starfighter he tried to set coordinates to Coruscant but a message camp up saying his fuel was low and that he could only travel to two places: Dantooine or Tatooine, He chose the later, he could see some of his old freinds before getting his revenge.
Good Chapter. I hope John stays on the light side.
^^^^ Pottsie, you hope John stays on the light side? Isn't it very evident in this chapter that he has already gone dark?
Anyway, great chapter John. Keep up the great work. The only suggestion I can make is a bit more puncuation and a few spacings here and there in between your conversations.
John has always been on the dark side since he was a recruited by darth maul but his weaknesess are there i think you can find his big weakness in AOJS.
^^^^ Pottsie, you hope John stays on the light side? Isn't it very evident in this chapter that he has already gone dark?
There is always hope to return to the light side...
Yes, the Force works as it wills. Hey John a suggestion: Could you put spacing between the dialogue? It is eaier to keep track of who is talking and it is easier on the eyes.
I just finished reading AOJS. It was good! I left a comment. I'll have to get started on this one.
EDIT: I just finished reading what you have so far. Its great! You've come up with a great storyline and now you can do a lot with it. Not only that, your a good writer too. Keep it up.
i advise cccccccchhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaapppppppppppp 444444444444444444
connor, please just type normal words, these kinds of posts are quite annoying to read. Thanks. -RH
good,i finished my fanfic but i'm probaley going to do a sequel later.
Well never fear the fourth Chapter is here!
Chapter Four
The noise had once again awakened him, it was the humming of what sounded like a lightsaber, he could feel nothing but pain, but he had to get up to see what was going on. It took him quite a while to get up he found himself in a room he had never been in before, he walked out of the room were the humming was getting louder, but before he could get closer a women in a robe walked up to him, moving in his path and pulling down her hood, she was the most beutiful woman she had ever seen her brown locks glistening on her head, and her brown eyes and red full lips were mesmirising, he could see a wedding ring on her finger, instinctively he looked down at his hand and there was a wedding ring also on his wedding finger also. He looked into his wifes eyes and leaned in for a kiss and they kissed passionately. The woman then broke the lock quickly and then ran into the room that he had come from, he wanted to chase after her but was drawn by the humming. He walked outside and saw were the humming was coming from, it was a blood red saber and it was being held by a dark hooded figure, the figure ran at him and went for his head with the lighsaber.
"Welcome to Tatooine", the space shuttles comm sounded, John woke up, he kept on having the same dream now it was annoying him since it seemed so real. John stepped out of his ship onto a Tatooine landing pad.
"Good afternoon Sir, may i help you?", came a maitenance droid.
"Yes i'd like my ship to be refueled and also a clean up, i will be back by nightfall."
John walked out of the Landing bay and into the heart of Tatooine, Mos Espa. It was just how he remembered it, overrun with different species and junk shops he breathed in the smelly air and felt at home. He explored the shops until he came to a familiar joke shop that he knew all to well, he started for it, it was the shop were he and-
"GET OUT GET OUT!", Came the voice of the shopkeeper.
"Alright i dont want to be in this crummy place anyway!", a girl was walking away he recognised it the same nice and firm face the same right away that was blue and the left green. She started to walk away and John started to jog up to her.
"Moira!", John called
"I dont talk to strangers creep!", she said as she turned around to face him, her jaw suddenly dropped as she identified who John was, John was surprised that she still remembered him.
"John? Is that you?", she asked.
"Yep, how about we get a bite to eat?".
She agreed and they went to a cantina and sat down.
"So, what do you do now?", She said breaking some of the tension.
"Well remember that guy that took me off this planet? ell he trained me up as a Sith Lord", John said deciding against telling her about Sidious' betrayel.
"Are'nt Sith Lord's supposed to be bad?", She asked.
"Na they're misunderstood, i aint bad am i?", John said.
"Well everybody can be bad", Moira said cheekily, John laughed.
"You have'nt changed one bit Moira", he said through giggles.
"Neither have you John, you're just how i remember you", She looked in eyes after she said it and John did the same, he almost felt that he had saw her before their meeting, he was actually sure that he had saw her off Tatooine.
"Moira have you been of Tatooine?", John asked
"No, i wish i could get off this planet though".
Even though she said that John still thought he had seen her somewhere else he just could'nt put his finger on it.
"Anyway you didnt tell me what you do now", John said.
"Me? Well I-"
"Moira Geldoon?", A twi' lek was standing by them.
"Yes thats me", Moira called.
"Jabba would like to see you", the Twi' lek said.
"Im coming", John said getting up.
"No you're not, Wait here", Moira demanded, John sat back down.
The man and Moira walked out and into another room after they went thought John waited feeling through the force to keep himself wth Moira. He waited a while then his impatience got the better of him and he went to the door and opened it slightly.
"Jabba has had enough of you, you keep wasting his time and you are deemed surplus to his requirements."
"No just give me one more chance!"
John burst in, there was no Hutt there was just the Twi' lek with hs blaster to Moira's face, John ignited his lightsaber and cut the Twi' lek's hand off and then his head, he took Moira out of the Cantina but before they could run a thermal Detonator was hurtled at them.
"MOIRA MOVE!!", John shouted and using the force he through her and then the bomb blew up, knocking him into a junk shop and leaving him unconscious.
"Wake up dear boy", John started to wake, he was chanied by his arms and infront of him was Jabba the Hutt, another Twi' lek with his lightsaber some guards and laying on the ground was Moira in a bikini, John could only enjoy the sight for a mili second as he saw that she was chained but as strong as she was she was forcing herself not to cry.
"Let us both go or you'll be sorry!", John shouted, anger rising in him, the whole room laughed.
"If you want to go you will have to do a task for Lord Jabba."
What do you guys think?:)
Good Chapter. I get the feeling that John has feelings for Moria. Can't wait for the next one.
You wont have to wait long for the next, it should be here monday or wednesday:)
Oh my god i cant believe i let this baby get dragged down into the lower pages! Expect an update real soon!
Oh my god i cant believe i let this baby get dragged down into the lower pages! Expect an update real soon!
Thank god for that. I've missed reading this Thread. I look foward to the update.
Thank god for that. I've missed reading this Thread. I look foward to the update.
Dont worry Pottsie im working on it now, it will either be here tonight or tommorow afternoon definately!
Well this is just a small chapter to just update and the next one shall be big! hope you like it!
Chapter Five
"So what do you want me to do?", John demanded, Jabba spoke then his twi'lek companion translated.
"Not you dear boy, we want Moira to do us what she was supposed to do", John was confused he looked at Moira who started to sob then he looked back at the twi'lek and Jabba.
"What was she supposed to do then!", John demanded.
"Dear boy she agreed to kill you", Everyone in the room laughed, John realised that they had not met at the Junk shop by accident, that it was planned but who wanted him killed?
"So Moira", the twi'lek said lifting her up,"Can you finish him off now or will you forever be enslaved on Tatooine?", he passed her John's new lightsaber and she ignited it tears were streaming down her eyes.
"Sorry John, I really don't want to do this", Moira sid, but John used the force to go into her mind and he knew that wasnt the case.
"No your not Moira, I can feel it in you, you dont care if i die", after that Moira stopped crying immediately.
"Oh well, it was worth a try", she said with a twisted smile and then swung it for John's head, John used the force to puch her away and the lightsaber went flying through the air, it was all like slow motion as the spinning lightsaber came down and severed through Johns right wrist seperating the wrist from the hand, John screamed in agony, the hate and rage swelled up in him, he lloked at a guard who was laughing and his head exploded, he looked at the next with all the hate and rage and anger he had gotten by losing his hand and his head exploded to, he did this to every guard in the room, then with his body flowing through the force with his hate and anger magnifying it he tore through his shackles and picked up his saber, he knew he couldnt kill Jabba snce the rest of the hutts would be after him but he killed his twi'lek translator, the Hutt was obviously distressed.
"Tell the person who wanted me killed im coming for them!", John said and he picked up Moiras limp body and walked out the door.
John took he onto a hill overlooking a Sand people camp and gently woke her up.
"Hey Moira look what you did to me", he lifted up his right arm, the hand was missing, she flinched.
"What are you going to do to me?", she said obviously frightened.
"Well not me", John said smiling," them", he pointed to the sand people camp and she screamed but it did no use John used the force to pick up her body and lower it in the middle of the camp, he watched as the sand people beat her and tied her up, he knew she wouldnt survive long and that made him smile, she deserved eveything she got for betraying her long time friend. He turned and started for Mos Espa and back to his ship he had to pass a moisture farmer's house though and the lose of blood from his right arm had started to make him woozy, he didnt know how much blood he lost, but maybe if he just rested, yes, that would do, and before long John Skywalker fell into the sand, unconscious.
"Anakin! Anakin", John woke up at once, why were people calling him Anakin? he didnt know, he looked at his right wrist which a droid was attaching a robot hand to but he still couldnt move it yet and then he looked up, his eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped he was looking at-
"Anakin, its me, Shmi, your mother"
Whew, that's one wicked chapter. :)
"Anakin! Anakin", John woke up at once, why were people calling him Anakin? he didnt know, he looked at his right wrist which a droid was attaching a robot hand to but he still couldnt move it yet and then he looked up, his eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped he was looking at-
"Anakin, its me, Shmi, your mother"
hummm this will have a good conclushion...any way YES the john is back
Nice chapter John Skywalker, cant wait for the next :D
Good Chapter John Skywalker. I'm looking foward to more.
Don't worry guys i'm working on the new chapter now but i dont want to rush it so it will be here tommorow or the next day.
@mr bfa and Pottsie and jae onasi: Thanks for the praise! its always appreciated for my fic :)
@ connor: Thanks for your praise and your introduction of me lol
Hi guys! Chapter six is here!
Chapter Six
"Mother?", John said, tears in his eyes, he used to dream about his birth and his mother's beautiful face and it was like he never left her side, he moved to hug her and she hugged him back.
"Oh Anakin, i've missed you so much!", it stung John that she kept calling him by his brother's name, but he knew her memory of his existence had been erased.
"I've missed you to mother", he sad not knowing what to say.
"Oh your so handsome!", she said as she took a look at him, " come on Annie let's get you something to eat."
She took him to the kitchen of her house were he meet her husband,but not hs biologcal father, Cliegg Lars and also his Son and his son's wife, they were all treating him like one of the family and John had never been treated with such compassion in his whole life, it moved him, swimming in the force that was usually filled with hate and rage to him it was now filled with joy and compassion, even peace and serenity he liked it very much.
"So Annie your a Jedi now?", Cliegg said, as the were at the dinner table.
"Yes", He lied, trying as much to be like Anakin,"I was actually on my way to Coruscant when I was ambushed and thieves stole my hand", he looked down at the robotic hand that had replaced his real hand and tightened the grip, it felt no different that his real one,"and it seems that the force brought me here, to reunite me with my mother", John smled at his mother, Shmi he learned her real name was and went to hs plate, eating all the food. After the dinner he told them all about going to Coruscant and saying he had to leave tonight, he glanced at his mother several times and could see the tears in her eyes but she was still smiling, he decided that he would tell her the truth.
When John ws redy to go he bade everyone farewell.
"Mother could i speak to you in private please?", John asked. She agreed and they went into her room, John decided to put it bluntly.
"Mother, I'm not Anakin Skywalker, I'm John Skywalker im Anakin's twin brother your other son", Shmi stared at her son in disbelief.
"Annie what are you-"
"I am not Anakin!", John said voice rising, how could he show her who he was? Was there anything he could do? He got an idea.
"Give me your hand mother", she took it straight away, even after thinking that her Annie was goin crazy, he would use the force to make her believe, he tapped into the rage and hate in the force and become one he then focused on his mother trying to unblock the memorys that her mind wouldnt allow her to see, but it was to strong, he couldnt get into it, but then he changed his emotions,forget the hate and rage, use the peace, joy and serenity like when you had your first ever family dinner, he thought to himself and he did, it seemed that his aura was stronger than ever with using peace instead of rage, he opened his eyes and looked at his mother.
"Oh, I remember!", she said, tears down her eyes," what horrible man would do that to a mother and child, Oh John", she wrapped her arms around him and he didnt want to let go.
"Mother thats what im going to find out, once ive finished my quest i wiil come back to you", she kissed him on the cheek and bade him farewell. While John was on the speeder with Owen Larrs going to his ship he was thinking what his destiny really was? Was it to dominate the whole galaxy as a Sith Lord or was it something else? He had done something that he was never taught to do, he used compassion and love to succeed.
At his landing pad he bade Owen farewell and got into his ship,next stop Coruscant! , he thought to himself.
Once again, nice chapter .. and the all-mighty question ... Is compasion the path to the Dark Side. Im interested as to what you have planned in store for John. :D Great work