I've tried to play it, but every time I attempt to play I either get kicked out of the lobby for being a newb, or die many horrible humiliating deaths at the hands of people who've spent holidays and sick days practicing their game.
Definitely know what you mean by that. Last night I was actually playing via virtual LAN on Hamachi, so I wasn't really on Battle.net. It's much easier to learn playing either with friends on a LAN or by simply creating a match on bnet solely for teaching yourself the basics and the items etc.
The DotA community is pretty harsh to newbs, so it's best to use sites like
www.dotaportal.com) to learn strategies and learn about the items and recipes. I've actually only been playing since April, but it's pretty fun and I've already gotten fairly good at it. I can hold my own online, at least.