After a hiatus on this series I finally wrote Part Two. Now I am not going to tell you who is the guest speaker on this piece so you have to read. I think it more than makes up for the other segments to the piece. So enjoy.
Galactic Comedy Central presents...
The Daily Korrbolt: Episode II
It was the second night of the Star Forge series and Jon Korrbolt could not help but be excited. True he had been startled and worried by the fact that he had an assassin droid, at least he thought it was, on the show but things went well the last time, the producers and the broadcasters wanted to complete the series. Nothing spoke more than the increase in viewers. So far everything was ready for his guest who had special preferences.
Like the last time, this segment would be aired live. It seemed that was part of the reason for the increase in ratings. Jon did not care about that as much seeing as his contact held up her end of the deal and was giving him a chance to interview all of the heroes of the Star Forge victory. Seeing that it was time to start, Jon took his place prepared to run out and greet his audiences. It was a new tactic that he thought would be an improvement on the show. He waited until the producer cued him that they were about to start.
****
Carth did not need to ask what Revan was doing. Judging by the way she had arranged the snacks and drinks, he figured she was getting ready to watch that comedy news show. After finding out that Revan had promised a week’s worth with all the Star Forge heroes, he was curious at who she got next to come on. “Time for the show yet?”
Revan turned to look at Carth and gave a smile, “Yep.”
Carth settled on the lounge next to Revan and draped an arm across the back. His two stubborn locks blew carelessly across his head as he asked, “So you going to tell me who it is tonight?”
“Nope. I want you to be surprised.”
“Come on Beautiful. You know I hate surprises.” Carth did his best to give a pleading look that he knew worked on her.
Revan was ready for it and replied, “No way Flyboy. You’re gonna have to find out like everyone else. Well almost everyone.”
“Dammit woman. One of these days I’m gonna put you over my knee and teach you a lesson.” Carth was smiling as he said that.
“You wish,’ Revan replied. Then the opening music sounded for the show. Revan then said, “Okay quiet now.”
****
Jon waited until his cue monitor gave him the signal and he began, “Good evening and welcome to the Daily Korrbolt. Tonight we continue the special line up that started yesterday that began a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.”
The crowd began to cheer as the music introducing the show began to play. Jon waited until the music and the cheering died down. “Last night we had Death by an Assassin and that certainly was something of superior craftsmanship and unadulterated violence.”
****
“That was kind of a lame entrance Rev,” Carth said. “Then again it would be hard to make anything funny out of HK.”
“It just comes naturally with HK.”
“If you say so.” Carth grinned at Revan knowing how much she was actually fond of the droid even though she didn’t care for his murderous tendencies.
****
Jon was continuing his program, “In light of the Star Forge victory, the party is still going on Korriban. The games to see Korriban’s Top Sith have prospective Sith leaders changing and showing off their Force skills every hour.”
The audience was chuckling as Korrbolt continued, “Here is an image before the games.” Then an image showed the audience a clip of a colony with a bunch of noise that sounded like the slummy parts of city worlds like Coruscant and Taris. You could hear yelling and screaming and noise made from speeder alarms. Then the audience saw Korrbolt and he added, “And here is what it was like after the games.”
The same image showed on the screen only this time you saw a bunch of Force Lightning and Dark Jedi running around waving their lightning. It was obvious that they were added in and some were portrayed in a comedic manner with one Sith looking like he was chasing another Sith in a bathrobe. The audience was roaring with laughter. It was no secret that there was little sympathy for the Sith given recent events. Any chance to poke fun was an opportunity.
****
“I know we caused chaos when we were at Korriban but really…” Carth motioned at the holovid.
“I know,” Revan replied quietly. The mentioning of it was a dark memory but at least the show was making it light and airy and even making fun of the Sith. She then said, “I did like the bathrobe part. That was funny.”
Carth shot Revan a look that belied the incredulity going through his mind. It then hit that maybe the comedy was something good. He broke into a smile and replied, “Never thought Dark Jedi had bathrobes. That guy he was chasing must’ve stolen the matching slippers.”
Revan replied with a laugh as they continued to watch.
****
Korrbolt cleared his throat and continued, “Some interesting news happened today on the farm world of Dantooine. Seems that there is an infestation problem.”
The crowd was a mixture of noise as Korrbolt raised his hand to settle them. He added, “Well who you gonna call?”
The audience laughed and replied incoherently. Korrbolt clarified, “Yes, yes, you call the Kinrath Busters especially when you see pests and it don’t look good. It has been confirmed that there has been an increase of the kinrath on the plains of Dantooine.
“It is an infestation that has led some settlers to believe that a cult has taken place within a crystal cave. I can imagine the type of sermons that occur. Just watch out when you go for a ride on the plains though it may look like they are grazing on the plains.”
The audience was laughing at the jokes and Korrbolt was managing to keep a straight face. When the audience died down in their laughing, he continued, “Coming up our relations team has news from Telos and we have our special guest coming up after the break. The music then cued for commercial.
****
“I think he’s off his game tonight,” Carth said, “That whole thing about kinrath and Dantooine…”
“Well the guest he has tonight demanded some heavy things,” Revan admitted. She then took a drink of some her Corellian ale that she managed to procure.
“Don’t tell me. It was Canderous you siced on him.” Carth searched Revan’s face for any tell tale signs.
“Not getting anything out of me Onasi. All your secrets may be mine but I know how to keep a lid on things especially if I want them to be a surprise,” Revan shook her finger to warn Carth not to try anything. Just then the holovid started up again and she said, “It’s starting again. Don’t try to wriggle anything out of me Onasi. You’re gonna be surprised like everyone else.”
****
Korrbolt took a swig of water. He knew that this was not a good segment but he hoped that his guest would more than make up for it and Mission’s part. He shook his head at the special accommodations that he was forced to get together for his guest. He was beginning to suspect that he was being given the sort end of the gaffi stick but his contact did promise him and it seemed that the audience loved the segments. He noticed the stagehand giving him the signal that they were coming back from commercial. He quickly put his glass away and resumed his position. When the cure came on, he said, “And we are back with the Daily Korrbolt. Recently the Senate has agreed to a restoration of Telos.” The screens behind Korrbolt showed a bunch of people and aliens working on a building. It showed them wearing hard hats and working with tools. The music was playing a cultured tune that greatly contrasted with the tough looking workers.
“Things are going well on the restoration and our official correspondent Mission Vao is there to report.”
The screen behind Korrbolt activated to give a split screen view for the viewers. Mission was shown to be standing in front of what looked like a historic monument of Telos.
****
“Mission’s certainly in her element,” Carth said.
“She’s talented,” Revan replied munching on a snack. “It’s good that they are mentioning the restoration of Telos though knowing this show, there’s going to be a comedic element to it.”
“Well some things in Telos’ history are rather ridiculous on the political plane.” Carth gave a slight chuckle.
“So you aren’t upset since it is about Telos?” Revan scanned Carth’s face.
“No. In a way, it reminds me of the good things and gives a hint that things could be better,” Carth replied smiling at Revan. Seeing that she was going to say something, he stopped and said, “Mission’s on Beautiful,” and they continued to watch.
****
Korrbolt looked straight ahead at the monitor that showed him Mission’s face. He asked, “Mission, how are things on Telos?”
“Great Jon,” Mission replied, “The Telos Restoration project is currently getting under way. In fact they are working on monuments like the one you see behind me.”
“Well Telos has a lot of history.”
“In other words, old bantha poodoo.”
Korrbolt looked at Mission incredulously. “How can you say that Mission after it was just bombed by Sith forces?”
“A big stink.”
The audience laughed while Korrbolt tried to bring the show back. “Aren’t they restoring the planet?”
“Yeah they are but you know when you polish a turd it is still a turd. Though I have to admit that the restoration effort has added a few things.”
“Really?”
“Yes. In effect the new things don’t make it a turd anymore. So it really is a great place now. No more stenches. Everything is all clean.”
Korrbolt looked at Mission with a speechless look on his face. “So everything is new?”
“Yeap. No need to call for Captain Clean after all the quicker picker upper is still Bounty Hunter towels, a must have for every kitchen.”
The audience was laughing, well aware of the two competing cleaning products of Captain Clean towels and Bounty Hunter towels. Korrbolt was trying hard not to laugh himself as he tried to bring the section to a close. “I’ll certainly remember that Mission. So things are going well I take it. How are the Ithorians handle the situation in terms of the vegetation?”
“Vegetation is good considering the old works need a polish. Anything else Jon?”
“No I think that will do for now Mission thanks.”
The audience applauded as Mission signed off. Korrbolt was grinning, feeling better about the evening ahead and it showed when he said, “Well certainly the young folks have something to say about history and I know our special guest for tonight will have something to say about history. He currently has a new cookbook that is considered a must for all space travel Meals Across the Galaxy and is another one of the heroes from the Star Forge victory. Join me as I welcome Jolee Bindo.” With that the music cued allowing Korrbolt to make his customary run towards the guest section where sat Jolee dressed in the spacer clothes that Revan found him in. Korrbolt extended his hand and said, “Pleased to meet you Mr. Bindo.”
“Don’t coddle me child. I’m not a mister. I’m just and old man whose been lost in the woods for far too long.”
The audience began laughing at Jolee’s comment and the look on Korrbolt’s face.
****
“You managed to convince Jolee to be a part of this?” Carth looked at Revan with a look of surprise.
“Well I said that there was free food at the venue and since he was an expert on exotic dishes, he should air his talents,” Revan replied with a sly smile. “Besides I told him that we all would try that new recipe that is featured in his book. The one about the kinrath, or was it terentek?”
“So he’s sharing what we ate with the rest of the galaxy?”
“Pretty much.”
Carth could not say more since the program was continuing.
****
Korrbolt wasn’t sure of what to make of his guest after that abrupt greeting. So he decided to play on it, “You’ve been lost in the woods? Was that during your adventures to find the Star Forge?”
“What do you think it was sonny? There are no trees on Coruscant, unless you count the gardens at the Jedi Temple.”
“So you made a cookbook, any favorite recipes?”
“Well if you like kinrath and tach they are a favorite. Other than that it was a matter of survival.” Jolee stretched and relaxed himself in his seat. It was turning out to be more amusing than he thought since the lad was somewhat slow on the uptake.
“So how did you end up on the Star Forge mission?”
Jolee shrugged his shoulders and replied, “There was a ship and I wasn’t about to let a free ride pass me up.” At the look on Korrbolt’s face Jolee continued, “Or it could have been the free food. Which reminds me wasn’t there to be free food here?”
Korrbolt was surprised and amused at the same time. He replied that there was free food and continued, “So you have a lightsaber…”
“Please. Everyone seems to think that just because you carry a lightsaber it means you are a Jedi. I’m just an old man with Force powers that happens to have a lightsaber and that’s all I have to say about that.”
“Okay so why don’t you tell us about yourself and why you decided to write a cookbook?”
“Simple. I did it for the Wookiees.”
“What?”
“The Wookiees. Many of those recipes are favorites of the Wookiees. A tribute to their hospitality. Though I can say that a Sith makes a good sandwich.”
Korrbolt asked, “Sandwich?”
“Yes. Well I was married once.”
“What happened?”
“Exar Kun happened and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“Never mind then.”
“Oh I get it. Let’s play with the old man’s head. He’s half senile and he won’t remember what you just said. Wait uh where was I?”
Korrbolt didn’t know what to say except to end the show since their time was up. He said, “Well that wraps it up for tonight. Remember Meals Across the Galaxy is available at any retailer store. Thank you for watching and good night.”
“Let’s get going. My mouth is starting to draw flies. Shoo, shoo!”
The audience laughed as the camera cut to the credits.
****
“So nice to have Jolee give some of his quips to someone else besides the rest of us,” Revan said as the show ended.
“I’ll admit I was glad not to hear one of his scoldings directed at me for a change but to set him loose on Korrbolt is a little mean,” Carth replied.
“Not really. You see Jolee likes to share things but on his own time and he does get a kick out of being frustrating especially if you’re not quick on the uptake.”
“I’ll buy that. Now I wonder who will be on tomorrow night,” he looked at Revan.
“No way Flyboy. I am not letting that secret out.”
“Oh really? You got something to back that up?”
“Anytime Flyboy.”
“Sabers versus blasters.”
“Bring it on. I still won’t tell.”
“We’ll see Beautiful.”
read. I'm surprised you didn't add it to the contest
Didn't make it in time but I'll be ready for the next one.