Chapter I - The Mandalorian Wars

The Jedi held no truth for me. Even as I knew little of the force, I could tell that I wanted power, not companionship, friendship, or anything the Jedi could offer me. I wanted power, authority, and obedience. My first act was to join the Republic Navy. After only five years, I had the captain's position aboard the Radiance, the flagship for one of the largest fleets of the Republic. The only other person aboard the ship with a rank higher than my own, was the fleet Admiral, who in truth, I had a wish to take all he had, his position, his title, and most of all, his fleet. But I knew that if I acted in such a way, the only thing I would gain for myself was my removal from the Republic ranks, and likely life imprisonment. However, most would argue that I had a prestigious rank already. While Admiral did command the fleet, and by extension, me, I was left command of it for either the mundane tasks, or when the Admiral had other things to attended to. In truth, my rank was a "Commodore". The designation medals on my uniform was enough to prove that. But the name of the rank itself disgusted me the very second I heard it said at my promotion.

The Admiral wasn't exactly the most uptight man in the Republic Navy that I'd met, but he did have his moments. He knew that I had valuable ideas and experience, but many times he avoided taking my advice. Many times we lost soldiers, ships, or in the least time with his choices. When one of my ideas became the objective, we lost nothing.


However, I soon noticed that the fleet wasn't doing normal patrol routes, as they usually would. They were nearing the outer rim worlds, for no reason I could see. I was just following the Admiral's orders. He would explain to me that the Republic thought something was happening in the outer rim, and we were to investigate. While for the first few days we found nothing but what was hoped for. But three days later we found a Mandalorian strike force near a desolate planet. They opened fire on us without provocation. My first instinct was to attack back, but the Admiral ordered me to get as many ships as possible back to the capital. I did as ordered, and for that, we lost five ships.

"Thanks to you, Admiral Crowe, we lost five ships. IF we had-" I began saying, before he cut me off, as expected.

"IF we had fought back, it would have caused us to lose more ships than five. Possibly the whole fleet. My orders we not to fight Mandalorian convoys, but to investigate the outer rim. It was more important that we got the information back to the Chancellor, rather than destroy ourselves." Admiral Crowe said, as we left the Radiance.

"Yes, but you do realize that the Mandalorians likely have taken our measure by our actions. You know how they live. Because of what you have done, they likely have a view of us that is not-" Again, I was cut off by his pacifistic logic.

"You would do well to realize that you do not command this fleet, I do. While you command this ship, I give you the orders on how you will do so. The choice doesn't matter. The matter now falls on the Chancellor's hands, not mine. Whatever he tells us to do next, is not my concern. Lest not untill he would see fit to give me the order to fight back against them. Otherwise, I have no need to do so." At that he strode away, feeling that the conversation was over. As usual, I had the wish to again take out my side-arm and shoot him in the back. But I chose not to. If someone was going to kill him, however, I would make sure it was me.

When the news of the Mandalorian's attack on us reached the Chancellor, he engaged all Republic fleets, and sent notices for all shipyards controlled by the Republic to be put on standby. He also asked the fleet commanders for any ideas. One of my suggestions was to ask the Jedi for aid. When I said that, he told me that was something he was thinking of as well. "In a way", he said, "It is possible that they may decline. I don't know if they will, but I will ask in the least".

As expected, I heard news that the Jedi Council had, not declined the request, but wished for time to examine the threat. I wished that the Jedi would join however, as they likely would be a big help for the Republic. If they really would, I could not tell. My untrained affinity with the force did nothing to help.

A few weeks later, I was asked by the Chancellor to attend a meeting. I didn't know why he asked me, but I still went. When I entered, I saw the Chancellor casually talking with a Jedi, wearing armored, black hooded robes, the hood down. She had black hair, fine skin, and bright blue eyes. Once they saw me, the Chancellor asked me to take a seat.

"Ah, Captain Siyn, please, have a seat." He turned back to the Jedi. "Do you think you could convince the Jedi to help?"

"Not the entire Council, but possibly there are some Jedi will likely have the wish to help. A friend of mine, Alek, has also expressed his interest in joining the effort, as well." The Jedi spoke in a definitive matter, her voice not wavering.

"What do you have in mind for the attack plans?" The Chancellor asked the Jedi.

"Nothing yet, but I would like to meet with the fleet Admiral's and such." The Jedi turned to me. "Are you the captain of the Radiance?"

I was slightly flustered when the Jedi focused on me. "Y...Yes, I am." I extended my hand. "Mercedes Siyn"

She took mine, and shook it."Revan." She let go after a few seconds. "You and Admiral Crowe shall be part of my attack plans. You don't mind assisting, do you?"

"No, I would be honored to work with you." While I hadn't heard much about 'Revan', it was something in her voice, that told me it was the right thing.

"Its settled then. How soon can you meet with the Jedi Council?" The Chancellor asked.

"I've already asked them for their audience. I will meet with the High Council in two days, and then the council on Dantooine in five days. While it is likely they will tell me what they told you, I'm sure there are Jedi that want to join the cause" Revan stood as she finished.

"Very well. You may leave if you wish, Revan." The Chancellor said. He gestured to me, implying that I could go too. I left the office, going back to the transport stop. I didn't know what was ahead, but I did know that I would savor every moment, and regret nothing.

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Chapter II - Learning to use the Force

While I didn't think my affinity for the force was anything that would need to be used, Revan did. While the Master/Apprentice relationship that bloomed between us because of it, wasn't the kind that any in the Jedi Temple saw, it was thrilling for me. Revan was a great teacher, being very pleased at my quick progress. She herself told me that not many Jedi learn to use the force as quick as I was, that most take their early years at the Temple to learn control over it. That part I learned within a few months. The power I felt was nothing like I had ever felt before.

Sometime Later, just before Revan was set to begin her campaign against the Mandalorian's, she told me that it was time I build, and learn the use of a lightsaber. While this was something I was looking forward to, this part worried me the most. I had read much about lightsabers, whatever was in the coreward's public databases about them. The could, for the most part, cut through nearly anything, save for the blade of another lightsaber. But putting that aside, I found myself very compitant with the saber I built. By the time we were set to attack the Mandalorians, I was still practicing, But I had bested five of Revan's Jedi friends, who had been using a lightsaber for years. This helped Revan see me as an asset, someone that had some serious value. My Jedi abilities, combined with my prowess of War, kept me in the loop of all plans that Revan laid down.

The Admiral, however, had words to exchange with Revan. He felt that Revan training me in the use of the Force was not something that should be done in the middle of the war. Revan said nothing as he spoke, but I could tell that she had no intention on taking his advice. "You must realize, Admiral, that in a war, you must think about more than just the battle plans. You know that soon enough, the Mandalorians will force both the Republic soldiers and Jedi into planet-side combat. And when that happens, I would rather have as many Jedi on my side as possible."

"That does make sense, but isn't it true that Jedi take longer than a few years to prefect their use of the force? Isn't she, in a way, a threat to more than just herself? I doubt she had much control over the force as you do." The Admiral's tone was condescending, as expected. Again his belittlement of me was something I wanted to stop. At this point, I told myself that I didn't want to wait much longer to act on that emotion.

"No, I think she has the same level of control that I do." Revan turned, looking out the main viewport. "In a way, I can feel it. The things that will happen, what will change. Soon enough we will all see the effect this War will have on us."

The Admiral crossed his arms. I knew that while he was grateful that the Jedi had lent aid to the fleet, he wasn't fond of the fact that it was, in truth, the Jedi who were commanding the forces, not him. "You Jedi are all the same. Once you have control, you fail to realize that you don't understand the situation as well as those who don't rely on the 'force'. Why-"

Revan turned. She raised her hand, and the Admiral grabbed his throat. He was then lifted off his feet. Revan was laughing at Admiral as he squirmed. "Admiral, Admiral, Admiral. Someone like you would do well to understand that If the Jedi were not aboard this ship or part of this fleet, the Mandalorians would win. Then the beloved Republic would be forced into speaking Mandalorian. While in a battle I would love to hear your council, I do not wish to hear it on my methods." She released her grip, and the Admiral dropped to the floor.

"Speak like that again, and you might not be breathing the next time I let you go." Revan said, a fire in her eyes that I respected. The Admiral stood, and left the bridge.

"Captain Siyn, Its time we meet these Mandalorians face to face. Send orders to all ships to prepare for a hyperspace jump." Revan said. I said nothing, but gestured to my first officer to do as Revan said.

The time was nearly here. The time where the might of the Republic, combined with the Jedi, would fight the Mandalorians. In a way, I was eager to test my lightsaber on something living, rather than the training droids I had wasted, what seemed like a million times over. It didn't matter to me how bloody this War would get, nothing would make me change my mind about whether it was right or wrong. After all, I was aboard the Radiance, all to willing to do as Revan wished.

When the ships made the jump, I felt this rush. Something wasn't wrong, but I felt something. I was in my quarters when I felt it, then saw it. A tall, dark figure with a red lightsaber approached me. I drew my own, and fought with it. Before I nearly bested it, it severed my right arm, almost completely. I fell to the floor in pain. Then I saw myself with a two hands again, but one of them was black and shiny, sticking out of black robes.

I awoke to my officer shaking me. "Captain! Captain! Are you alright?" I realized I was on the floor. I stood, holding my forehead. "Do you wish for me to fetch the ships med-tech?" I shook my head. I knew I felt fine. The vision shook me. I knew Revan told me I might see something like this. My right hand and arm hurt, almost like they had been removed. I had no way of knowing if that was the future, or a random dream. "I'll see the med-tech", I said. He tried to escort me, but I stopped him. "No, I'll make it on my own". A check-up and a few hours in a kolto tank would likely be all I'd need. Possibly just rest. But even as I told myself this, my arm throbbed.

Chapter III – Choosing a Path

During the battle of Duxn, Revan's prediction of a “change” became evident to all involved with the battle. Either those who fought off the Mandalorian scout ships in space, or all the soldiers and Jedi who fought them on the ground. Either place, we felt the rushes of anger, the great pain and loss of those who fell beside us. Feeling death on such a scale, drove home stakes of both pain and anger into our hearts. Made some of us keep going, made others foolishly rush into death willingly. I lost friends, just as many others did. For every one that fell, I vowed to kill ten Mandalorians for it. I killed nearly two-hundred of them, not regretting one. It was not without physical pain however, as I spent a two weeks in a Kolto tank afterward.

“That was commendable Mercedes, but you do realize that some of these scars aren't going to heal?” The Med-tech told me, just after I emerged from the tank. “The scars on your face I can't be sure of, but the scars on your body, I can't repair.”

I didn't care. I was becoming more and more used to pain, either physical or mental. “It doesn't matter. Whatever you can repair, do it. If you can't, spare me the reasons.”

Once I recovered from my injuries, I found that Revan seemed to like me even more. So much so, that after Ithor, she elected to make a move that some would never accept. A move that would silently define her true motives to those who she planned to include within, but not those who would undermine them, such as the Republic Senate.

“Admiral Crowe” Revan said as the Radiance orbited Eres III.

The space battle above Eres III was going well, though as always, the Admiral hated when Revan chose to converse with him when he was directing the fleet. And just like every battle, Revan always stayed on the bridge, in a constant state of meditation. While she had told me of what this was, the Admiral wanted to know, but she refused to tell him.

“While I would love to converse with you Revan, you must realize that I am needed to direct the fleet, else we lose this battle?” The Admiral spoke with the same sort of tone he'd always used: The kind that simply said “Say whatever you wish, I don't care”.

“Calm yourself Admiral. Once again you put to much value into those fighters, and their pilots.” Revan didn't move from her chosen position, aside from looking at the Admiral for a few seconds.

Just like myself on Duxn, there was a lesson to be learned here. When soldiers see their fellows die before them, it seems to give them a large burst of emotion, which for some is the drive of their force connection.

“Revan. I don't care how you use those powers of yours, I don't care how they work, nor why they work. But I would prefer that you use them when you are leading a battle, not when I am.” The Admiral turned back to the holo-board, checking the status of his fighters.

“Admiral, you still think that this war will be won by your soldiers, don't you?” Revan stood. “Maybe if that is what you believe, you are correct. But you yourself, sadly, are not going to come close to winning this war. Though you have been a help, I can clearly see that you are against my methods.” Revan nodded to me. I smiled, for reasons that then, I couldn't know. But she raised her hand, and the Admiral was lifted off his feet. She pulled her arm back, and the almost nauseating sound of bone breaking was heard. The Admiral slumped to the deck, every soldier looking at him, then at Revan in a silenced awe. The Admiral struggled to face Revan. He said nothing, nor did she.

“Captain Siyn. I believe that you can deal with him?” Revan said, as she again began meditating.

“Gladly.” I said, as I pulled my lightsaber from my belt. “So sorry, Admiral Crowe. You must know that I've been fed up with you since the start of this war. I would say that I hate to do this, but I can't say that with any measure of truth.” I ignited the purple blade, and it cast its glow on my skin. Stabbing the blade through his chest, I got a final look in his eyes. They looked just as you would expect, since he was always unsure of what I would do, but even then, a small glint said that even he couldn't believe that I was doing this. Did it matter to me? Not in the slightest.

I removed the blade from his chest, and swung it, and all on the bridge watched his head sever, quite cleanly, from his body. Revan didn't look at me, but she simply said “Well done, Admiral Siyn”

Chapter IV – Malachor V

Before Malachor, we knew that the war was coming to a close. We knew that the Mandalorians were breaking at every seam they could. We had taken back nearly all the words that they conquered, destroyed nearly all of their fleet, and our moral couldn't have been higher. All the Jedi, all the soldiers felt just the same way: that we were going to win. Though Revan had other thoughts. Ones that she never conveyed to many, only those who where closest to her. Before the war would truly end, she knew that there was one person, among many more, who had to die. The one person, was Mandalore, the de-facto leader of all the Mandalorians. His death would ring the bell that would end this bloody war. Though, afterward a death knell would ring for another group. One that would harken a darkness into the galaxy that it might never recover from. A darkness that I was falling into.

Many, aside from myself, know exactly how the Battle of Malachor V played out. Trouble was, while all of our forces were committed to the fight, we didn't realize that it was an ambush. Mandalore had rallied all his remaining forces as Malachor. It was only Revan, that knew he would do it, against his better wishes. The battle's onset, was a small group of ships, that we easily broke through, though not without a small amount of losses on our part. But after, came the rest of his forces. Granted, it wasn't a large fleet, but it was sizable enough that it worried me, and every other commander that saw it.

All this aside, we still had a last resort method. One that many didn't like, but one that Revan said was necessary. There was a good reason that a select few commanders kept their ships a distance from the planet. These were the ones that had given their sincere loyalty to Revan and her cause, the ones she valued. The rest, were the doubters, the ones who disagreed with her methods. Their fate would echo across the galaxy, farther then any would expect.

When the order was given, it was only a matter of time. None of us knew exactly what that mechanization would do, but we knew that it would be lethal. What we saw, was the implosion of Malachor, dragging all ships into its gravity well, crushing the ships, and the people aboard them. For those aboard our ships that were force-sensitive, we all felt it. The pain of the dead, the dying. Some of us were able to endure it, some by not listening, others by focusing on something else. To me, it was a pain unlike any other. The kind of pain that kolto won't heal, the kind of pain that even time can't phase. I didn't know it then, but after, I would be one of the 'lucky' ones, the few that didn't lose their power over the force, because of what happened during the battle.

It also sent a shock-wave into space, making the remaining ships shudder. I was thrown against a wall, nearly giving in to the pain. My last view was a pool of red on the floor beside me. I drifted into a black abyss, feeling it all just slipping away. It could've all just ended there. But again, I had heard what Revan said before she left to command her own fleet - the one that would go after Mandalore himself.

“What do you mean, Malachor is the end?”

Revan sighed. “That is the world that we will lure them to. That is were we will make them fall. Though they will ambush us there, it won't help them win. It will give them an edge, possibly the edge of the sword I don't want them to have. But it won't let them win.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

She turned to me, with a look that was firm, yet still soft, not unlike her usual. “Like many others, you are too important to die easily. You have a strong will that won't allow it.”

“You mean that I won't die at Malachor? That no matter what happens, no matter the choices I make, I will survive them?”

“In time you will understand. Know that the understanding will come with great pain, but in the end, you will always be what you made yourself. You will never be ruled by your power, only your wish to live.”

As I lay there, my mind in darkness, I hoped that what she told me then, was true. I indeed had a wish to live. I didn't want to face death, nor conquer it. I wanted to fight it, and arise victorious at every turn, no matter how much pain I might have to endure. Time would prove Revan right, but it would be another who truly would understand what I would become.