you may be bedridden and in pain, but you make the most of it, you to rise above the crisisAs others have said, easier said than done.

Other more experienced and more eloquent people have said their pieces, but above all->
5. We need to be looking for ever-better ways to manage pain and other uncomfortable experiences that may happen during the dying process to maximize people's quality of life even in their last few hours or days. We have a lot of good medications to deal with pain, but as always there's room for improvement.This is true.

But I believe pain is not the only issue--for the last year of his life, my grandfather was immobilized, and that naturally sent his quality of life in a downward spiral. He had been active right up to the fall that resulted in his immobility, and while I don't think he was in any pain, I doubt he was happy either.

I've thought about this more, and I was going to post, but I will simply refer you to Jae's post, as it states my views perfectly. :)

I really am not sure. Apathy is death, and I guess non-apathy is death too.

One reason I might think that I oppose this is the door it opens to the whole attitude "oh, you're terminal, so just go off and die".
Also, because it gives dispassionate soulless people people the option of comfort while running away from facing their family member's death.

On the other hand I know that it's about them, and not myself. There have been instances where I had wished another's end would come easily because it was what they wanted.

Also, I believe it unethical to keep someone alive to make some extra $$$.
Not accusing anyone of doing it, but, I do find the notion disturbing and think such a thing ought to be prevented. If quality of life is lousy and won't get better, and nothing else can be done to improve their remaining life, it's time to let go. Regarding wills or such, this ought to be taken care of before death. Sooner the better. If they want to live long enough to take care of it, not a problem with me.


1. People die. All of us will die, some sooner, some later. <snip> We have made great medical strides, but we can't save everyone from everything, nor should we try once it becomes clear that someone's body can no longer function to sustain life.

Agreed.
2. <snip> While a number of people do linger a long time with cancer (ever-improving treatments being both a blessing and a curse in this case), we have for the most part decent treatments to keep pain under control, which for many would be the chief reason for wanting to die.
A family friend I know has lymphoma right now--highly progressed. He goes through certain means to ease the pain (I won't specify due to their dubious legality or lack thereof). Although he is often a grumpy guy and an @$$hole, he's one of my favorite @$$holes and there is a funny likable part of him. At this point his life it's the bucket list and seeing his grandkids for however much longer time he has. His mother will probably outlive him. He's doing whatever he can to keep on living okay and to make sure his family will be taken care of. Worse came to worse, he's an aggressive enough clever guy with lots of space. I'm sure his .45 will give him all the help on his own that he'll ever need.

3. Death in the US, and I suspect in a lot of 'modern' countries, is very sanitized. We rarely see people actually die, and I think a lot of Americans have almost an irrational fear of death. We don't want any part of it--don't want to see it, don't want to be near someone dying, don't even want to talk about it. We hide our kids from seeing their elder relatives dying so that they aren't 'traumatized'. However, it's as major a life event as a birth, and while it's tremendously sad to lose someone close to us, it's still an important life event not only for that person but for their loved ones and friends. It should not be hidden away. Death and the process of dying is an integral part of our humanity, and we need to embrace it and give it dignity and respect instead of shunning it. Part of our American rush to pass assisted suicide laws in the US is because we want nothing to do with death and we want it over as quickly as possible.

George Soros comes to mind. He's a Gann'eiff that I wouldn't mind suffering to live until the very bitter end. However I would never force the issue.
4. Assisted suicide is not the same as putting suffering animals down. <snip> However, this is not the same kind of rich life that humans experience, even dying humans, or even toddlers dying from leukemia who haven't lived a very long life. Equating the experience of our pet dog or cat to the experiences of humans is an insult to humans, frankly.
False equivocation or moral equivalence. People often do.

7. After the Schiavo case, it's clear we need better laws on advanced directives, and we need to use advanced directives a lot more often. If you don't want to be kept alive artificially with feeding tubes and such long term, then you need to let your family know that, and get an advanced directive signed as soon as you're of legal age to do so.

Nope, and leave my remains alone.

8. I could not willingly participate in an assisted suicide, or knowingly allow someone to commit suicide without taking action, because it violates the oath I took to 'first do no harm', and the commandment not to kill.
A friend of mine has committed suicide on his own at 17 due to how utterly screwed up his life was. I heard all about it long after the fact. I suspected something was wrong but had no idea HOW wrong. However, he gave no hint, not even on is final day. The next day, my class hears about it. I was angry at him for doing it, and I was angry at myself because I thought I could have prevented it. Ultimately I have decided, I never knew enough then, and knowing what I know now...if I had it to do again, I am not so sure I would stop him...I've long since let it go, anyway.

9. We haven't begun to completely think out the ramifications of assisted suicide, as the Barbara Wagner case (http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=5517492) clearly shows. It takes a cold heart to say 'we're not going to cover your medical treatments, so here, take this drug to kill yourself so you quit costing the state money.' The people who end up needing palliative care are more often than not elderly with few if any resources, and thus reliant on the federal Medicare and state-administered Medicaid programs. I see this having a potential for widespread abuse by states so that they don't have to pay the high costs of endstage disease treatment. I also see this as wide open for abuse by family members arguing over who should Grandma give her prized Chia-pet collecton to when she dies. We need to look at this and its ramifications to boot. I'm extremely uncomfortable with any assisted suicide laws because of this last point.
Agreed.


The other three deaths were long agonizingly slow processes. However, I believe this is because all three had a goal. My father wanted to live to see another Christmas. My stepmother and uncle were to see another birthday. All three made their goals and died shortly after.

Similar was the case of my great aunt. At 92 she was in a hurry and wound up shattering her hip. 10 years later in Feb 2004 she died of complications from it. She was very religious AND spiritual. In the last month of her life, she wrote me a letter and wished me well. She didn't indicate anything in her letter that she was in agony. Just that at 102 years old, she has done and seen everything she would ever care to. I guess she hung on for those 10 years to see just how long she'd last.
Though she'd have loved to see me again that she was joyus because "we'll see each other again regardless". Though she died of complications and suffered a bit, she was still active as she could be and happy. I appreciate that not everyone has the same quality of life in those circumstances, though.

As far as seeing her again...Lately I'm in the red on my LS/DS points continuum... Plus I still must figure it out for myself

Her brother died a few years before that at 105 of natural causes. Her little sister (my great grandmother) is still kicking nearly 100, if more than a bit slowed down.

The 3 of them said, "Life is beautiful, so don't waste it or throw it away." I'll abide that in whatever way that I can.

I pay my final respects because I believe in it.

I'm not opposed to letting someone die with dignity. However...
If my friend or family member in question wants to be alone for it because they don't want me to see them like that...I'm conflicted. They can only die once. It's their honor, however, I would still want to be there somehow.

I won't know about myself until I get there I guess. I suppose if an arc welder nearly did me in once, that a microwave transformer + capacitor would do a better job. The feeling of getting zapped wasn't initially bad, it was waking up and recovering that was agony. Which I still feel the effects of nearly 7 years later. I'm glad I'm okay.

There is still merit of eeking through to the very end too, I guess. I don't know.

With preciousness of life, though, I would never want to impose my will on another. No matter how much I hated them.