That's right guys, it's the holiday season, and I think the time is right for another LFRD RPG!
The RD forumites have met up in a park... on a snow day. At first it was all laughs, as it was the second time in two months they had coincidentally found themselves in the same neighborhood. But the fun soon ends when an army of Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons (DMKMSG for short) led by everyone's least favorite ex-forumite, Princess_Dark, comes to ruin the day.
Rules:
1. Though not neccesary, it's encouraged to play as yourself. You must write a bio. It MUST include : A) name. B) age. C) gender. D) appearance E)skills F) weaknesses
2 No god-modding or anything that gives you an unfair advantage. You are armed with your skills and brains and whatever you find.
3. You can't kill any other person's character off.
4. Dont try and start a romance with someone if they are against it.
5. Dont' spam.
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Name: Davinq, aka: Dav
Age: 14
Sex: Man
Appearance: Blue jeans, blue hoodie, waterproof athletic shoes, blonde hair, blue eyes.
Skills: Quick-thinking, accurate, agile, strong
Weaknesses: Not very athletic or flexible
Gear: Combustible snowball sniper rifle, portable hair-dryer, snow-kevlar undergarments.
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Davinq was so excited. It was a snow day! No school! He was getting really sick of his teachers, and his ever-annoying ex-girlfriend, and got ready to go outside and have some fun. As he was about to head out the door however, he felt his phone rumble in his pocket. He opened it to read the text message he just received.
You guys will pay.
Whatever the hell that means, though Dav. He shrugged indifferently and headed out the door.
Name-Ave 'Awesome' Dawson
age-13
gender-TEH FEMZZ
appearance-Spiffy long black coat, pink beret with matching scarf, short brown hair, GOGGLEZ!, boots
skills-Quick, good with tecknomology, has a watch that can call the SuperBestFriends!, the ability to make the perfect snowball in a perfect sphere. Oh and one more thing, MOTHA DUCKIN PSYCHIC POWAS!!
weaknesses-Is dark's mortal enemy, string cheese, Hot Gym Guy
I'm gonna post again since Mayhem should have well over 20 minutes ago.
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When Davinq got to the park, there wasn't a person in sight. So much for getting with my friends he thought gloomily ((HINT HINT)). Out of his boredom, Dav started to build a snow fort in the most fortified position possible in the park. Then he made more bunkers nearby. You never know when a few spare snow forts might come in handy, Dav thought to himself.
He had no idea.
Name: Miss_Mayhem, 'Mayhem'
Age: 14
Gender: Girl
Appearance:For reference:link (
http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n95/Miss-Mamacita/edit.gif) dark hair, tan skin, slim, brown eyes. White boots, black sweats, big poofy, red bomber jacket. Pretty much as seen in the pic but with the aforementioned clothes, and sans the facescarf and headband.
Skills: can DIY, clever, can fit through small spaces, good aim
Weaknesses: neither strong nor fast
Gear: 30 dollars, flashlight, cellphone, mug of coffee, cinnamon roll, swiss army knife, playing cards, handfan, coughdrops, purse, sunglasses (why?) and her long, sharp nails.
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Mayhem and her family had come up north to get the chance to see snow and were currently staying in a ski lodge. It was christmas afteralll and they had never seen snow before. But being an ill-prepared and climately challenged SoCal girl, Mayhem couldn't really enjoy it as much as she would have liked. Yes, snow was beautiful, but it was also cold. Very cold. So Mayhem was stuck in the lodge where there weren't any hot guys or entertaintment. They were all outside snowboarding and/or skiing. Mayhem sniffled and reached into her purse, she'd had enough of just sitting there, starting to catch a cold, and took out her cell, "Mom?"
"Yeah?" she answered.
"You mind if I go down to the town? It's less than a mile from the lodge, I promise I'll get back safely. I'm feeling kinda sick and I wanna get some medecine before it gets any worse"
"Go ahead."
"Thanks," Mayhem sniffed, shutting the cell and getting a txt message seconds later, "Prepare for payback"
"Weird..." Mayhem thought to herself, but she merely shrugged it off and stuffed it into a pocket and clutched her purse, heading out into the bitter cold and heading towards the town...
-Here we go again-
Name: St. Jimmy (but you can call me awesome)
Years: Not sure, we never found that part of my birth certificate.
Gender: Let's just say, I'm not as aerodynamic as some...
Apperance: Cam Pants, Black Green Day shirt (With an American flag shaped like a coffin, it's hot.... oh so hot..), A dog-tag (with a Heart-grenade on it), A cam cap, Converse All Star shoes, A SONY xplod black jacket. Blueblack hair (Seriously, I dyed it blue black about a week ago) Tall (just over six foot.) Slim, Unusually large hands, Dark brown eyes.
Skillz: Can run fast, ... Is mildly strong, Can use a non-ranged weapon.
Weaknessess: ****ty music, ****ty cars. Losers. Can't breath under water.
Arsenal: A permanent marker, Playing Cards, Post-it notes, A pocket knife, A mobile phone, Dog-tag, Hands.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - -
Somehow, once again, St. Jimmy had ended up somewhere (cold) in America.
"Ooh, a playground!" He trudged over to the play equipment.
Ave was sitting on a swing. Sombody yelled "PREPARE FOR PAYBACK!" because Ave doesn't have a cell phone(Even though she needs one for mascot practices)
"Okaaaaay." Ave hopped off the swing and found davinq. "Sup? Like my pimp Raz goggles?"
Psycho
Age:13
Gender:male
_____________________
As Psyhco walked outside he saw something that may change his life.
"What is this white stuff? Could it be? Have my sacrifices been answered? IT TRULY HAS! ITS SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hey Psycho, check your PMs
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Name: Zelda (Zelly, Zel)
Age: 12
Gender: female
Appearance: Brown hair straight at the top and puffy at the bottom(got my hair done), six feet tall, black Happy Bunny collor shirt, red jacket with hearts on it, black trench coat, blue jeans, black boots
Good stuff: screams very loud causing avalanches, kicks hard, scraches peeps eyes out, can predict the future very well
Bad Crap: Can't run worth heck, unable to hide by snowforts due to being 6 feet, gets annoyed or bored quick, is Darks second worst enemy
Weopons & other stuff: pocket knife, nail fyler, matches, cell phone, DS, crackers, pocket book of How to Survive Wilderness, House of the Scorpian book
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(Can this be in Indiana in my town??? We have killer snowstorms, so it'd be perfect)
Zelda walked out of her house to her shed for her bike. She got on it, rideing to Avon Park to chill, despite the snow and ice.
TEN MIN LATER
Zelda heard a beeping noise from her phone. Opening it up she read aloud the txt message: YOU WILL ALL BE SORRY.
Zelda: Weird. Who the hell's that from? Nah, like I care.
She flipped her phone shut, and parked her bike by the Bball courts. She heard someone she knew scream out in joy then
Psycho: IT"S SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zelda: Holy crap, Psycho. What are you doing here? OH god, is this another zombie thing?
She quickly went through her purse for her pocket knife.
Zelda: I'M READY FOR YA ZOMBIES!!!!
Then, suddenly losing interest, she went over to Darth and Daq.
"Sup Zelda." Said Ave as she approached. "Like my pimp Raz goggles? I got them at eBay."
Dav runs over to answer Ave's question, since he was spacing. "Yeah Ave, those goggles are the shiznit! And uh, you're gonna need 'em."
Of course, he didn't know how right he was at the time, but it didn't really matter then, since Dav had a nice big slushball with Ave's name on it behind his back...
"Hey Ave, isn't it a huge coinkidink that we're all together, even after dying painful gruesome deaths at that mall?"
Dav aims the slushball, and...
Get's hit with one by Ave. "OH SNAP! PWNED!! lolololol!" she went pewpewpew! and shot headlazers everywhere. xD They were having fun.
They say it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious. But as Davinq was relentlessly and cruelly punished by Ave, someone was watching the procession with vengeful eyes...
Yes, that's right. Jimmy was hiding in the playground looking very vengefull. Very vengefull.... Then he just freaking slid down the slippuh ree dip and landed on his ass in the snow. "Wo0! The last time I saw snow was when I a kid!" He immeadiately ran o the nearest tree, climbed up it and started looking vengefull again..
Geting down to the town hadn't been to hard. There was a trolley. Stepping off, she shivered and rubbed her arms with her hands, looking around for some Rite-Aid or Sav-Ons so she could buy cough syrup, and moree importantly; find something to do! She hung tight to her purse, a canvas and tweed affair with the word 'Mayhem' clearly imbellished on both sides. She walked around the small, picturesque town for a little before realizing that she was getting lost. She then heard noise. Laughter and chatter, somewhere ahead of her. She hadn't seen too many people outside, not in their cars. So she trudged towards the noise and met a park, a gaggle of mismatched youths doing ... stuff ... They seemed oddly familiar. Then it hit her: it was the RD gang! She recognized them from the pics they had posted on one of the threads. Mayhem squealed and waved her arms excuberantly over her head, "Hello Peoplez!" And then she ran towards them, afterall, how many times do you meet internet friends in real life? Well... there was that one time they had met up at a theater to watch the Zombies Attack! movie, but that's not the point.
"Sup, Mayhem? I'm busy pwning Dav, what you been up to?" Ave continued pwning Dav, while he accepted his pwning.
Seeng the first snow in his entire life he hopped right in to the white wonder.
'OMG! Thank you gods of coldness!" screamed Psycho. Suddenly a stray snowball hitting him in the face switched him to attack mode.
"Oh snap. Enemy fire. Gotta a buld a fort. There we go, all nice and stable. Now lets see the enemy. Oh snap. Darth is uber-pwning daving! I gotta star building my arsenal quickly."
Such elation was not meant to last. As Dav was on the brink of unconciousness due to his pwning by Ave, a loud moan, no scratch that, a thousand loud moans swept the park. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up. "Oh. It's a Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goon." Dav said, slowly getting up. Perhaps he was a liitle dazed, because no one doesn't greet DMKMSGs with an "oh." It's more like a "ZOMG IT'S OUT TO KILL ME!" Then Dav shook the snow off of himself, looked up again, and gave a cry, "ZOMG! DERANGED MUTANT KILLER MONSTER SNOW GOONS!? WHO COULD HAVE DONE THIS?"
Zelda looked up and saw the things. She had the whole O.o look in her eyes.
Zelda: HOLY HELL WHAT IS THAT?!?!?
She started through her purse for her knife, while the monster's leader approuched. Wide eyed, Zelda's jaw dropped. Two words: Princess B***h.
I hope Dark's reading this, even though she's banned. Especially the slow and painful death I have in mind for her (Though Zelda gets to deal it out ^.^)
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The forumites make their way to zelda to back her up. The first thing she did: slap the Princess in her face.
"You really shouldn't have done that," Dark said softly. "Because now, my legions of DMKMSGs are going to kick your sorry ass!"
She stepped back onto a snow throne a pair of DMKMSGs had prepared for her, and she sat back to watch the show. Pointing ahead, she said "eliminate zelda and her slutty friends."
The DMKMSGs charged.
Than Ave shot Dark in the head with a psiblast. PWNAGE COMMENCED!
Davinq cried out over the noise, "Make your way to that fort over there! We can more easily hold them off from there."
It was clear by the expressions on Ave and Zelda's faces that the last thing they wanted to do was take even a step farther away from Dark, they were so itching to get their hands on her throat.
"Guys! Come on! There's nothing we can do! ...Yet."
A DMKMSG had lumbered over to Davinq's position, but before it could do any harm, he whipped out his portable hair dryer and melted a hole in its head.
Zelda slapped Dark. Yes, slapped. Then, suddenly charging to her, she pinned her to the tree.
Zelda: What are you doing here? You're not wanted here anymore. You know, for calling Avon 'The Place For Fags' on TV.
Dark: Shud up, I came to get my revenge for you guys being so ugly, and DANM are you UGLY. And my snowy friends are here to do just that.
Dark slipped from the pin, snapped her finger, and was picked up by the biggest one. The others made iceballs and started throwing them at Zelda, hitting her, causing her arm to get very bloody.
Zelda: Holy crap, those hurt!
Dark chuckled. Dark: Let's play ball then, shall we?
As psycho prepared his arsenal, he decided to check on the battle. "Oh snap! That's the third time I've said that. Hey, it's that b%t$h Princess f&ck*n Dark. Well, if there's anytime to load up a bazooka it's now."
Psycho took out his snow bazooka and took aim toward a crowd and took aim at the hoard of DMKMSGs.
"As cartman would say it, looks like you're about to get pwned."
"I will melt you with song!" Ave then pulled out a microphone and, like, 20 amps and started rockin out in latin. "AGNUS DAE! PRETOLIES! KETHATKA MUNDI! DONA EAIS REQUIUEM! DONA EAIS REQUIEM!" Everyone melted at the awesomeness of Pie Jesu. Except Dark, who made more snowmen while holding up a lighter or somthing. Don't kids hold up cell phones these days? Yeah, we'll go with a cell phone.
Davinq shook his head in sadness. There was no way they were going to survive! He had to save Zelda somehow.
Suddenly, a huge white flurry - must have been a snowplosion - hit the nearest congregation of DMKMSGs. Davinq looked to where the shot had came from: Psycho, in one of the snow forts!
"Psycho! Zelda's in trouble! Nail those DMKMSGs over there, will ya?"
OMG Darth, your avatar rocks so hard!
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Zelda jumped back from another iceball and dug through her purse for her lighter and knife.
Zelda: Wow, I left all my wepons at home again. Oh wait, my iron war fans from schools still in my back pack on my bike.
She ran to her bike, dodging ice and snow, to get it. Quickly, she unfolded the sharp metal fans and held them carfuly. A snow thing came towards her as she sliced its foot off.
Zelda: You never knoe when you're gonna need iron war fans right?
"sure. Why not?" said Psycho as he oblitirated several dozen of Darks snowy minions.
"Snow is more fun than i thought! Hehe. Me wann make Dark go boom."
said Psycho as he loaded up his snow bazooka at Darks giant snowman.
KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dark fell to the ground unscathed.
"Sh!t! The b!tch won't die. Aw well. Slicing her to pieces might work. Chainsaw Blade!" said Psycho as he summoned his favorite weapon.
(You knw, you're allowed to say bitch.) (And yes, Marcel=TEH SECKS)
"I'll save her!" Yelled Ave, rollin to Zelda on the riva and psi-shielding her. "To quote somthing purly awesome," said Ave, picking up zelda nad running. "lol, let's rock buns." Ave ran to a snow fort and hid Zelda.
(oh. That's nice to know.)
"Hey! Princess Bitch! Eat giant chainsaw blade!" said Psycho.
Psycho charged and slashed, but she dodged every one.
"I gained a few new abilities in the realm of banishment after that bafoon Thrik locked me away."
"How dare you call the great Thrik a bafoon!" said Psycho as he slashed all he could. He could do nothing.
The only thing that would work was bankai, but he could't use it without a coke.
(Actually, it was Thrik. ~edit button away~)
"Here" Ave showed up next to Psychochaos, with a coke. "I'm southern, so we always have coke! IT'S STERYOTIPICALYTASTIC!"
"Awesome." said Psycho as he drunk the coke.
"Bankai."
Psycho underwent the ultimate surge in power.
His large chainsaw blade was changed to a long black katana. His thick coat changed to a ragged trenchcoat.
"Time for uber-pwnage" said Psycho as he charged and slashed at dark.
Dark dodged but in a quarter of a second Psycho reappeared with miraculous speed behind here and slashed with great power.
"Ah!" screamed Dark as her blood went dripping to the snow.
Psycho wouldn't stop there. Without mercy, he slashed her arms of in a horrid gruesome slash. He had gone into a frenzy of power. he slashed and stabbed until Dark was a mere remnant of body parts.
Psycho almost out of energy activated his final attack.
"Yin-Yang final oblivion!!!!"
With a final burst of energy, he nearly obliterated dark.
Dark, in peices turned into a mysterious liquid and reformed as though all of his work became all for nought.
"You bitch. What will it take to kill you?" said Psycho.
"I am far more powerful than you. My revenge upon zelda must be completed."
Out of energy, Psycho passed out in the snow.
"Uh oh." Said Ave as she watched. "PSYCHONAUT SHOWDOWN!" She levitated up and pushed the button on her watch. Than, Fred Bonaparte, Gloria Von Gouten, Edgar Teglee, and Boyd Cooper all appeared. "OMG! SUPERBESTFRIENDS!" Yelled Ave. "HELP ME WIN THIS PSYCHONAUT SHOWDOWN!"
"I hope we've leveled up enough." Fred said as they got into fighting formation! THAN THE BATTLE ROYALE BEGAN!!!
Mayhem had watched with intense interest, nibbling on a cinnamon bun and taking some sips of her coffee every now and then that she had stashed in her purse. Then the unthinkable happened:One of the snow goons began pelting the forumites with snowballs of pain and doom. And one of them spilled her coffee onto her jacket's faux fur trim. Ohnohedidn't! "That jacket was 98 dollars!" Mayhem shreiked in outrage. Apperantly now was a good time to start doing the whole action thang....she equipped her hand fan, flared out in front of her as a defense. OMG TEH VIOLENCE!
"Bankai."
Me and Rukia are going for coffee tomorrow. I'm gonna use a slick American pick-up line on her like "girl you must be a rodeo bull because I want to ride you for 8 seconds and then get off". You best believe that Shinigami robe'll come off awfully fast.
"Well this sucks." Jimmy hopped out of the tree and walked away.
"Jimmy, you coward!" Mayhem sneered, only to be pelted by a snowball nanoseconds later.
Davinq was aghast. His friends were all separated, doing their own thing. At least Zelda was safe now. He fought his way to the fort where she was resting.
"You alright? Good. I'm gonna use this fort to test out my snow-sniper rifle."
Dav pulled out a bunch of pieces from inside his coat. "Gotta love dem hidden pockets," He smirked.
In an astonishing display of weapons construction, his hands a blur, he had in moments taken a few tubes of metal, amongst other materials, created something that appeared extraordinarily like a sniper rifle. He made a snowball from the ground and stuffed it in.
"Time for some uber pwnage," He said, taking a shot.
Mayhem got up and rubbed her sore cheek in disdain, running into the refuge of the forts in time to avoid more snowbalss. She collapsed next to Dav, breathing hard, "Dammit! I just wanted some cough syrup and entertaintment! And what's this? This whole ... THING ... isn't entertaining and I'm getting worse!' She sniffled as to prove her point. "So watcha doin' Dav? Can I help?"
"****! Psycho wake up! Wake Up!"
In, a mysterious place,
"Is that snow?" said a small young boy.
"Be quiet!" said a mean lady at a large desk.
"Miss Bynes, can we go outside?" said the young boy.
"Wait till school is over and then you hooligans can go play in that wreched snow!" said the mean Miss Bynes.
Later that day,
"YaaaaaaaaY!" said the boy as he ran out of the classroom. But all the snow had melted.
"No. No. No. Oh No! Why?!!!" screamed the boy.
The evil teacher saw his pain and laughed. She laughed the most disgustingly evil laugh that you could ever hear.
The boy faded into darkness and Miss Bynes morphed into Dark. Psycho voice came in the background saying
"No. Never again will I miss the snow. Never. I promised myself or may I die"
Psycho woke up with a look in his eye.
"I never again will miss the snow."
Psycho somehow, silently su mmoned his black katana.
"I'm not as strong as before, but I can still fight."
He slashed at the ground. The ground froze.
"Ice-based powers eh. Well, looks like I have an advantage over you Dark.
"Don't get your hopes up." said Dark.
Psycho stuck his blade in the ground and he formed the snow into a familiar friend to all the older RDforumites.
"Hello Purple Squid."
(Tribute to purple squid.)
"RAWR!!" Ave shot Psychobeams! at Dark's face. They hit really good, cause Dark needed some serious surgury after 5 minutes. Dark collasped and was internally bleeding withen 10 minutes. "XD!" Yelled Gloria! "WE WON!"
"Let's go to dunkin' donuts. I want a hot chocolate." Said Edgar. So they went while Dark suffered a slow painful death! XD. She was now Manny Calavara's problem.
"Well Mayhem, you could help by... uh... hey, where's Psycho?" Dav said. "We could use his bazooka type thing to kill off all the rest of these DMKMSGs."
"No need," Mayhem said. "The sun's coming out."
"And look at that! Over there! Dark! Dying! Let's sing! She's gone!"
Zelda was getin some serious pwnage points as she ran out to the battle. She made her way past hundreds of the things and, despite her arm soaking in blood, made it to her worst enemy.
Dark.
FLASHBACK
Catie(Dark) : C'mon Abby, let's go play in the snow.
Abby(Zelda) : Okay, but let's get our dolls first.
Catie: Okay, they're in my ro-
Before Catie could finish, she tripped over her mom's flowerbed, cutting her leg. She cried and cried about it that day, while Abby comforted her.
Catie: Thank you Abby. You're the best friend in the world.
END FLASHBACK
Zelda's head spun, her seeing Dark the way she was when she was nine. Her worst enemy- no, her FRIEND, in pain, dying. Zelda fell to the ground, clutching her throbbing head. Zelda was so comfused when-
Somthing sharp and cold hit her in the back. Painfully, she felt her back, while warm, slimy blood oozed onto her hand. The look of fear and panic crossed her face as she fell forward, holding her fans to her chest.
Dark, lying on the ground almost dead, smirked.
Dark: I guess my work is almost done.
Then, suddenly, Dark's clothes disappeared!
Zelda: omfg ur soooooo hawt
Dark: yeah baby come over here
<Obligatory lesbian sex in the snow scene here>
MEANWHILE AT DUNKIN DONUTS!...
"I wonder how they get the jelly in these things?" Said Fred, biting into his jelly donut.
"They stick it into some kind of tube that inserts jelly into donuts." Said Ave, sipping her cold frappachino ripoff drink, vanilla in flavor. "I saw it on the food network."
"AH YES!! THE FOOD NETWORK!" Exclaimed Gloria. "I used ot watch that. I love Barefoot Contessa."
"Yeah, but Giada is the true pimp. She can smile with ALL her teeth." Returned Edgar, cause he had to say at least one thing.
"Totally." Ave aggreed. "But my fave chef is Marcel Vigneron."
"That's just cause you think he's hot!" Replied the girl who was at the counter, who was evesdropping.
"NO! I mean.....watermelon steak sounds good....and...cranberry gelee that taste too much like cranberries...and...Yeah, he's pretty hot. They need ot show him shirtless more."
"I need to get a few shots in too, ya know" Mayhem smirked. She jumped over the snowfort and charged Dark, jabbing the unsheathed knife into her stomach. Dark groaned. "My bad," Mayhem corrected herself and equipped the staff of dath and hit Dark in the stomach a few times. "Who wants the final shot?"
"I DO!" Yelled Phil Argus from Bonus Stage. He loomed over the body and shot Dark with his LAZER BEAMS! Than he flew away to his shippy love, Rya.
Jyaa, what about the sex scene?
FINE!
Than Phil and Rya counted the sheep. Which is wrong, because you can't have sex with robots. Craig learned that the heard way ~points to hole in Craig's crotch~
So is Dark dead, or what?