None taken CSI. And JediMaster12 is right. In a way. Looking foward to the next Chapter.
Another awesome chapter. Just one question. Why does Arren say "My Honor, please..." Is this some obscure thing I don't know about?
It's grammar and tenses issues. That was my assessment since CSI: Nihilus's first language is not English. Though you have to admit that he's done a good job in conveying his meanings.
[Off-Topic]
None taken CSI. And JediMaster12 is right. In a way. Looking foward to the next Chapter.
Thanks for the compliments. BTW, How's your Echoes of Darkness and The Young Exile? I like them.
Another awesome chapter. Just one question. Why does Arren say "My Honor, please..." Is this some obscure thing I don't know about?
Oh, "My Honor" is a typical call for a judge. Right? I'm sorry I didn't clarify this, and I'll try to clarify this next time as I changed "my honor" into "Judge" instead. Thanks for the advice.
It's grammar and tenses issues. That was my assessment since CSI: Nihilus's first language is not English. Though you have to admit that he's done a good job in conveying his meanings.
Thank you very much for your compliments. Enjoy the new chapter.
----END OF OFF-TOPIC----
[/Off-Topic]
Chapter 8
Carth Onasi walked into an accident site. What on Coruscant dispatch called a CSI for a normal accident? Carth wondered.
“Hi, Carth. A Human female, mid-20s. Thought you might want to check it out.” A Security Force officer said to Carth.
“All right. Thanks, brother.”
Carth approached the wrecked land speeder and found a woman sitting in the cockpit: “Hi. Carth Onasi. Criminalist. Mind if I take a look?” He took out a blue-ray flashlight and noticed she was injured on her forehead.
The woman regained consciousness and responded: “I don’t know what happened. All I remember was the music that was playing on the radio.” Then she frowned, still looking a little dizzy, “I don’t remember passing out.”
“Say ‘ahhh...’” Carth instructed.
“What?”
“You know, ahhh…” Carth tried to explain with mouth open and made a interesting face of stuck out his tongue and smiled.
The woman chuckled and opened her mouth gently: “Ahhh…”
Carth looked into her mouth: “No discoloration.” Then he noticed her head injury, “I don’t see anything criminal here.”
Then he said to a Security Force officer: “Take her to a hospital and have her checked out.”
----
Outside the Judge’s home, Malak was sitting in his speeder and sighed: “Well, might as well roll the dice; take that a**-whooping.” Then he threw his lightsaber into his glove box. When he got off, he noticed a Security Force’s speeder whooshed down, with siren blaring.
Malak sighed and turn around to see two officers climbed out of the speeder: “Police!” Each one had a small blaster in his hand. Perfect. The Security Force never appear in appropriate time. Malak thought.
“Put your hands on top of your head and walk backwards towards me.”
Malak said nothing and obeyed their order. What a hell day! Malak thought. He lowered his head and turned around, with his hands behind his head and tried to clarify himself: “I’m ID. Check the badge. I’m from the Criminalistics.”
One officer walked slowly towards him and said, “Keep your mouth shut and follow my instructions. Now get down on your knees.”
The Judge just came out in time.
Malak protested quite loudly: “I’m not getting down on my knees for anybody. You can shoot me.”
The officer looked a little irritated: “I said get down on your knees!”
“Hey!” The Judge said to the officers.
Malak looked at the Judge in disbelief and scoffed.
“What the hell are you doing? That’s Malak from the ID! Put your blasters away.” The Judge clarified for Carth.
“Sorry, Judge. We got a call about a man outside your house. We responded.” The officer replied.
“All right. You caught him. Congratulations.” The Judge smiled wryly and said, “Clear out of here before you wake the neighbors.”
“Yes sir.” Then the officer called into the intercom: “Dispatch, please be advised the Judge’s residence, a Code Four: false alarm.” Then they flew away quietly.
“Malak, what the hell are you doing?”
“I’m sorry, Judge.” Malak shrugged, “Captain Kae won’t call you for a search warrant. I got a whopper on the line with a 100-pound test.”
“You got a winner for me?” The Judge smiled and said, “I’ll make it worth your while, you give me a name.”
“The Bird.” Malak replied.
“Oh, I knew it. Listen, kid, I’ll make a deal with you. You put 5000 Republic Credit on the pack for me, I’ll give you a blank warrant. All I ask is that you have the ticket in my chambers before kickoff. You do that, I’ll square it with your Captain.” Judge said.
“No problem, Judge.” Then they shook hands.
----
“A Staged Suicide.” The suspect said to Arren, who was walking around him, “You’re kidding, right? I swear on my kids that I never seen that man in my life before.”
“Then how the hell did your fingerprints wind up at the scene?” Arren bent down and stared at him into his dark eyes, “We talked to the family. The deceased didn’t even know any Corron Horwalker’s.”
“Oh, I…” The door was open and Nihilus walked right in. “Hi, Detective.” Nihilus greeted Arren Kae. She looked at Nihilus as he was the actual suspect.
“Would you mind if I…” Nihilus pointed at Corron Horwalker, who was being interrogated by Arren Kae.
“Oh, you want a whack at him, Nihilus, be my guest.” Arren shrugged.
Corron said nothing; instead his eyes stay fixed on a dark spot on the table.
“Hi, Mr. Horwalker, my name is Nihilus.” Nihilus offered Corron a handshake and Corron accepted it, “I work in Criminalistics.”
Corron’s eye widened. He never saw any officials so kind to people.
“May I ask you a few questions?” Nihilus’s kind request broke the thinking of Corron.
“Sure.”
“Do you have any hobbies? Like make model airplanes, make toys, wind chimes for the backyard, that sort of thing?”
What the hell is this question for? Corron wondered. “No. Why?” Corron asked.
“Well, we found some particles of latex on your thumbprint.” Nihilus’s dark eyes showed that he meant no harm. “Would have any reason to have access to that particular substance?”
“Well, yeah. Sure. At-at my job.” Corran replied.
----
A while later, Corran led Nihilus and other people into a warehouse. First he saw is rows and rows of shelves of sculptures, both finished and unfinished. Some were even covered with clothes. The light turned on, and it revealed a lot of sculptures like the Halloween on Earth.
“Wow, you made all these?” Nihilus admired.
“Yes, sir, everything from scratch.” Corran responded proudly, “We mold, carve, shape, paint and authenticate.”
“Excellent work.” Nihilus admired while he touched one of the rubber heads, “These seem very real.”
“Thanks.”
“You ever made rubber hands?” Nihilus asked.
“Sure, we do, uh…” He looked around to find the hands.
Arren was taking a careful look at a monster’s head (Like Frankenstein’s) and put it back. Nicely done. She thought.
Corron bent down and drag a carton out and opened it. Nihilus saw there were a lot of rubber hand and arm cut-offs, with fake blood on them. Then Corron handed Nihilus one of the replicas and said: “This is our best seller, right here. Sold 10,000 of those units last festival. Even used my own hand for the mold.”
“These are your prints.” Nihilus thought out aloud.
“Yeah, why? What does that mean?” Corran asked.
“It means you’re free to go.” Nihilus said at last, “He’s not the guy.”
“Nihilus, are you sure?” Arren asked.
“That explains the latex and the lecithin. You need oil to make a print.” Nihilus used the Force to illustrate: Using a latex glove, someone was painting oil onto the fake hand. The oil spreads everywhere. “Anyone who purchased one of these hands could be the killer and what is worse, he’s proficient in forensics.”
Still holding the fake hand, Nihilus fell quiet and his brain began to work.
[Off-Topic]Thanks for the compliments. BTW, How's your Echoes of Darkness and The Young Exile? I like them.
Okay. The new Echoes of Darkness is going great.
Back on-topic, this Chapter is really great. You've improved so much. Well done and I'm looking foward to seeing more.
Or Notepad (On Computer) or Word :lol:. Nice to know it helps you CSI. I myself are learning German or Deutsch. Looking foward to the next Chapter as always and the other CSI Fics to come.
I think it's great to learn a different language, but that's best left for the PM system. Time to get back on topic. :) --Jae
Sure thing Jae - Pottsie
Much better CSI. Thoughts are being conveyed better, certain poses and the like. Good job. You did a slight mix-up between Malak and Carth in that scene outside the Judge's home. Very good though and that was an interesting name you picked to play Paul Malander's part for the suicide/homicide case.
Much better CSI. Thoughts are being conveyed better, certain poses and the like. Good job. You did a slight mix-up between Malak and Carth in that scene outside the Judge's home. Very good though and that was an interesting name you picked to play Paul Malander's part for the suicide/homicide case.
Thanks. You know what the result is on that case? It has 3 parts--2 is in Season 1, and the 3rd part, the final part, is in Season 2, did you watch it?
Of course. You are taking to an avid CSI fan. Paul Malander gets caught, blah blah. There is the season in 2002 that I missed some because of TV Nazis that I lived with. Scrubs was the thing then.
I meant to say something about the two books that you mention, the Mantle of the Force and Heart of the Guardian. To tell you the truth, Heart of the Guardian is a real book. I wrote it. All three books. The connecting thread is in my siggie. Glad to see me book is being mentioned :lol:
Of course. You are taking to an avid CSI fan. Paul Malander gets caught, blah blah. There is the season in 2002 that I missed some because of TV Nazis that I lived with. Scrubs was the thing then.
I meant to say something about the two books that you mention, the Mantle of the Force and Heart of the Guardian. To tell you the truth, Heart of the Guardian is a real book. I wrote it. All three books. The connecting thread is in my siggie. Glad to see me book is being mentioned :lol:
No. Paul Millander (Not Malander) didn't get caught. Who told you he got caught? No offense, I don't think you watched Season 2, or did you?
Yeah. I know. No problem mentioning the book for you. I just need some book to be in the fic.
Nice you like it.
@Jae: Thanks for reminder. We'll do it next time.
Yeah I know Grissom finds him dead in the tub with a bullet in the head. A fish that got away but eventually gets his reward. I do like this fic. It brings a nice change from my conspiracy and deception in my Heart of Deception fic that I am still working on and hanging over Pottsie's head.
*holds manuscript over Pottsie's head*
Yeah I know Grissom finds him dead in the tub with a bullet in the head. A fish that got away but eventually gets his reward. I do like this fic. It brings a nice change from my conspiracy and deception in my Heart of Deception fic that I am still working on and hanging over Pottsie's head.
*holds manuscript over Pottsie's head*
*Go away damn you manuscript!*
Looking foward to future Chapters of both this and the Heart of Deception.
[Off topic: Sorry for this short chapter, I'll leave the climax to Chapter 10.]
Chapter 9
“Hey, Dr. Quincy!” Carth Onasi ran to see the doctor.
“Hey, what’s up, man? I got your page.” Dr. Quincy turned around and found his best friend, “Have you had any trick rolls lately?”
“A tons of them, why?” Carth asked him while they walked in the hallway.
“I’ve had six pros come through the ER in the past two nights, Every girl has been mysteriously knocked unconscious and we found some skin discoloration.”
Skin discoloration. Carth recalled, that Mukai also had some skin discoloration.
“What, skin discoloration? Where, their lips?”
“No, their breasts.”edit
In the observation room, Carth smiled to the girl: “Hi, we meet again. May I see your discoloration?”
“You gonna give me 20 credits?”
“You wanna do time?”
The girl sighed and took off her tops. [Censored due to inappropriate for underage’s]
“You know, I just came from a trick roll downtown.” Carth explained, “The victim’s mouth had similar blotching. Chances are, whatever he ingested orally, you absorbed also, knocking you both out. So I’ll give you a choice. You give back the old man his belongings, you tell me what you girls are using and I won’t have you charged with attempted murder.” Carth’s voice lowered and lowered.
“Which is it?” Carth emphasized the sentence.
The girl sighed and took out a eyedrop bottle and gave it to Carth.
“Eye drops?” Carth said amusedly.
----
In the lab, Tahiti was holding onto the bottle and toying with it: “No, it’s scopolamine. It’s a chemical used for motion sickness. The eyedrop bottle’s a front. One drop of this stuff and she’s out cold.”
Carth smiled.
[Sorry for the inappropriate, CENSORED for Inappropriate images.]
After a brief time, the old man edit and fainted onto the bed. While Mukai was unconscious, the girl took all his valuables and flee from the room. Then she drove a speeder, with music turned on, suddenly, she felt dizzy and being knocked down.
Carth smiled and covered with his face in proudness.
----
At Rakef Elsiri’s house, Nihilus was talking to Rakef, with Lumel on her side: “We’re ruling out suicide. The evidence leads us to believe that it was in fact a homicide.” Nihilus said emotionlessly.
Rakef closed her eyes, while two tears flow out from Lumel’s eyes. “Then he was murdered?” Rakef finally said.
“I believe so.” Nihilus said. I know I’m not good at dealing with people, maybe Revan didn’t teach me. Nihilus blamed Revan for that.
Closing her eyes again, Rakef sat down heavily on the chair, Lumel patted her shoulder gently to comfort her.
“You know, this may sound funny, but I feel better knowing that he didn’t take his own life. To me that would never sit right. He was such a good man…” Then she even laughed. Laughed?
Nihilus spoke sincerely: “We’ll find him, Ms. Elsiri, I promise you. There is always a clue. I’ll find it.”
She smiled. From her eyes, Nihilus could see bright hope.
----
“You’re off the case.” Arren found Malak and said to him angrily.
“What? Why?” Malak protested with his trademark jaw.
“Why? You deliberately went over my head, Malak. The phone call from the judge saved your job, but not you’re a**!” Arren now was angrier and angrier, “I want you shadowing Exar. A robbery just came in.”
“You can’t do that! Me and Carth are tied!!!” Malak shouted.
“Enough!” Arren’s voice covered Malak’s voice, “Nihilus! Have Malak shadow Exar for the next three weeks or until Carth makes his hundredth, whatever comes first.”
“I hate you, you know that?” Malak totally lost his temper and pointed at Arren, “People walk away because of you—everyday!”
Nihilus hurried up and pulled Malak away: “That’s enough, Malak. Let’s go!”
“Damn it, Nihilus, I almost have her a**, too!” Malak complained.
“Yes, you had him, and the minute you started thinking about yourself instead of the case, you lost him. There is no room for subjectivity in this apartment, Malak, and you know that! We handle each case objectively without presupposition regardless of race, color, creed, or bubble gum flavor. OK?” After a lengthy lecture, Nihilus walked away.
At the door, Exar was looking at Malak innocently, along with all his gears.
“Let’s go.” Malak said.
Edited for content, and I'm giving you a warning for this one. This is a PG-13/rated T forum, CSI. I saw you had censored in a couple places, but you need to censor more for this TV show--it can be extremely violent and very suggestive at times. You need to re-word or skip the scenes that are too graphic, too suggestive, too descriptive, have nudity, or involve any activity that goes beyond kissing on the lips. Please review the Forum rules (
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=169078) and CEC forum rules (
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=151033). I went through and edited out the suggestive or graphic parts, but I'd be inclined to just delete the post next time. Since you are also copying a lot of dialogue from the shows, make sure to give credit to the TV show somewhere. If you have any questions, please PM me. --Jae
It didn't look short to me, but it was a good Chapter. I've never seen so many edits in one Chapter though. Good Chapter and I'm looking foward to the upcoming climax. Wait is Chapter 10 the last Chapter?
No there's more Pottsie.
CSI that was good but like Jae said, watch it on the descriptive images of certain scenes. I remember how graphic it gets. That's why I suggested I beta for you. I can help with that. Nice job by the way. Still some grammar issues.
Edited for content, and I'm giving you a warning for this one. This is a PG-13/rated T forum, CSI. I saw you had censored in a couple places, but you need to censor more for this TV show--it can be extremely violent and very suggestive at times. You need to re-word or skip the scenes that are too graphic, too suggestive, too descriptive, have nudity, or involve any activity that goes beyond kissing on the lips. Please review the Forum rules (
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=169078) and CEC forum rules (
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=151033). I went through and edited out the suggestive or graphic parts, but I'd be inclined to just delete the post next time. Since you are also copying a lot of dialogue from the shows, make sure to give credit to the TV show somewhere. If you have any questions, please PM me. --Jae
Oh, yeah...I did credit the TV show, go to my first post, then you'll find it.
Thank you for editing the inappropriate content for me. I'm not a native speaker, so for some words, I don't know it is inappropriate. However, thanks again.
It didn't look short to me, but it was a good Chapter. I've never seen so many edits in one Chapter though. Good Chapter and I'm looking foward to the upcoming climax. Wait is Chapter 10 the last Chapter?
Well, I say it's short because relating to Chapter 8, it's a lot shorter, right? I don't know. But even if Ch. 10 is the last chapter, I still have an epilogy, right? So JM is correct on this one.
No there's more Pottsie.
CSI that was good but like Jae said, watch it on the descriptive images of certain scenes. I remember how graphic it gets. That's why I suggested I beta for you. I can help with that. Nice job by the way. Still some grammar issues.
OK. Thanks to JM. Well, here comes the solution: next time before I post it on LucasForums, I'll let you to Beta-Read it first, OK? Well, I didn't give you to beta Read it because I thought it's after I finished the whole fic and put it in the Archive.
Thanks for your kind compliments.
Anyone can beta-read at any time--you don't have to wait til the story is finished. I'm revising my story a chapter at a time, and a couple people are beta-reading it for me--they catch a lot of things I don't. When I start the next one, I'll have a beta-reader or two go over it before posting each chapter, too. Their help is invaluable.
And for someone speaking English as a second language, I think you're doing pretty darn good with a lot of the writing.
I saw the citation in the first post--thanks!!
And for someone speaking English as a second language, I think you're doing pretty darn good with a lot of the writing.
I agree with Jae on this one. Most people who don't understand English like you (No offense I hope) don't usually do good in their Fics, but you are. Looking foward to Chapter 10.
At last finished Ch. 10, but JM12 is beta-reading it. But if you guys want me to put on the original version, I will put it on. [It's longest chapter in this fic, so be prepared.]
Longest Chapter in the Fic? No wait until JM12 has beta read it. It will be better than, no offense to you CSI.
Longest Chapter in the Fic? No wait until JM12 has beta read it. It will be better than, no offense to you CSI.
It's near finished. And I'm writting Epilogue now.
It's near finished. And I'm writting Epilogue now.
Let me guess. You'll start the CSI vs CSI Pilot episode. A one-shot I believe? Or maybe not.
Let me guess. You'll start the CSI vs CSI Pilot episode. A one-shot I believe? Or maybe not.
No, you were right. I'm starting CSI vs CSI: Pilot for next week. Look, you're force Sensitive, admit it.
PS: All done by CSI: Coruscant Episode 1. But I don't know where JM12 is. I hope he will put on the Chapter 10 and Epilogue ASAP.
No, you were right. I'm starting CSI vs CSI: Pilot for next week. Look, you're force Sensitive, admit it.
PS: All done by CSI: Coruscant Episode 1. But I don't know where JM12 is. I hope he will put on the Chapter 10 and Epilogue ASAP.
Someone believes I'm Force Sensitive now! Anyway, I believe JM12 is a female. I admit that when I joined, I though JM12 was a male, but I found out that JM12 is a female. So CSI vs CSI Pilot is a one-shot?
Someone believes I'm Force Sensitive now! Anyway, I believe JM12 is a female. I admit that when I joined, I though JM12 was a male, but I found out that JM12 is a female. So CSI vs CSI Pilot is a one-shot?
How did you find out JM12 is a female? Well, I thought JM is a male, too!
Pardon me, what do you mean, "one-shot"?
Pardon me, what do you mean, "one-shot"?
You've read them CSI. They're Short Fics. I've wrote them and JM12 has wrote several of them. One-Shots are another name for them. I prefer to call them Short Fics though. There is a lot of One-Shots on Fanfiction.Net.
You've read them CSI. They're Short Fics. I've wrote them and JM12 has wrote several of them. One-Shots are another name for them. I prefer to call them Short Fics though. There is a lot of One-Shots on Fanfiction.Net.
Negative. It's not a short fic. It's just as long as previous two episodes. Thanks for filling me out of what "one-shot" means.
[@JM12: Thank you very much for revising the chapters for me!
@Pottsie: About the Bounty Hunter: Pilot, I haven't decided who to cue yet, but you gave me a hint, maybe Cassus Fett will work, and maybe Jango will join, too...
@Mods: If there are any inappropriate contents, please don't hestitate to PM me. Thanks.]
Chapter 10
Later, Malak’s speeder raced down onto the crime scene. His mood was reflected in his driving for he drove a little too fast and he was silent. He was still seething with rage against Arren when the speeder pulled up to the crime scene. The scene was protected by two Security Force speeders with flashers on. The neighbor looked unsavory but what do you expect in a sprawling metropolis?
“Sorry you gotta baby-sit,” Exar apologized to Malak when he stopped his speeder. Exar may be the newbie but he was smart enough to know when to leave well alone. Malak thought.
“Yeah, I’m sorry, too.” Malak nodded and said to his intercom: “Control, P-4422 arrived.”
Dispatch responded: “OK, go inside.”
Then he instructed Exar, “Dust for prints, make sure you take plenty of photographs…”
“Photographs. Be thorough. Don’t worry. Nihilus told me that.” Exar smiled. After the incident in the mini mart, he felt ready for anything. He thought nothing could be worse than that.
“Good. Look, I gotta run an errand. You okay for your own?” Malak asked Exar. Malak knew he wasn’t supposed to leave the newbie alone and he was under orders to shadow Exar but he also had his word to the Judge. At first he thought nothing of it as he watched Exar get out.
“You kidding? I’m fired up, ready to go.” Exar said happily. It was his first time in the field, so he was very excited, “Besides, there is a Security Force officer here.” Though the neighborhood was not the best part of town, Exar felt okay. It was going to be a piece of cake.
Malak nodded as Exar disembarked the speeder. “I have a bad feeling about this,” became a nagging thought as Malak drove away.
Exar watched Malak pulled away and walked towards the scene. He sighed, and tried to clear his head out a lot of things. It was going to be a busy night.
----
At the husband’s house, Nihilus knocked the door and the door was opened by the husband. With the mask on the face, Nihilus said professionally, “Good morning. Nihilus, Forensics. I’m taking over the case for Malak. Mind if I come in?”
“How can I help you?” The husband let out a deep sigh, his irritation apparent.
“I need to give you a pedicure.” Nihilus explained. If it were any other occasion, it would have been a funny situation for Nihilus was not prone to being funny on purpose.
“Come again?” The husband asked confused. He had a strong suspicion that Nihilus knew something.
“I have a warrant for your toenails.” Nilihus had a serious expression on his face. All that mattered was the evidence.
“A warrant? What? Am I a suspect?” The husband let Nihilus in and read the warrant carefully.
Nihilus walked in and studied the surroundings carefully. He knew Malak would have done a thorough job near the door. He pushed Malak from his thoughts as he went to collect his evidence.
“I already gave you a sworn statement,” The husband replied with annoyance.
“A statement is just a public record of your version,” Nihilus clarified, “We still need proof.” Then he noticed the concerned wife walking into the living room. She looked scared and nervous, almost as if she knew something was not right.
The husband turned his head and looked at her for a few seconds, then turned to Nihilus again, “Well, I’d love to help you, but I already cut them.” He had a smug look on his face as if he thought he was going to get out of this.
“May I see where you discarded the clippings?” Nihilus asked politely. Well, this is not a good thing, at least not a clean thing to do. Nihilus frowned slightly but gave nothing away.
“I flushed them down the toilet.”
Nihilus’s heart sank when the husband said that. He cursed the husband a thousand times in his heart. Then he thought of something. With professional courtesy that could provoke anger, he asked, “May I see your toilet?”
Opening the refresher door, Nihilus turned on the light. The husband waited at the door curious and nervous but Nilihus took no notice of it as he approached the toilet. Nihilus lifted the toilet seat and bent down to study it closely. I hate this but I gotta follow the evidence, Nihilus thought.
The husband smiled slightly after watching Nihilus bending down. How do you think you’re gonna find them? Dig them? the husband wondered, this CSI was different from the other one. He was persistent, too persistent.
Finally, Nihilus stood up and walked toward the husband. Stopping, he said, “I’ll be right back.” As he walked to his speeder, an idea forming in his mind.
He returned a little while later with a UV light system and proceeded back to the refresher, ignoring the look that the husband was giving him. He took the UV light system into the refresher, turned the light off, and lit the UV system. Blue* light filled the tiny room. Nihilus, with his trademark mask on, said politely to the husband, “Excuse me.” With a polite smile, he closed the door in the husband’s face.
Nihilus went down on hands and knees and used the UV light to search the floor carefully. When he hit the mat in front of the toilet, he found something strange. With a practiced hand, he held the light while he took out a pair of forceps and picked it up—a cut toenail. Never underestimate a CSI, Nihilus smiled.
----
“Nope, loser.” Nihilus was in the lab with the tech looking into the microscope and comparing the cut toenail, “Give me the next item up for bid.”
The tech looked into the evidence bag and used the forceps to pick another toenail under microscope. He had a disgusted look on his face as he handed the clipping over. “It’s nasty,” he remarked.
“No, striation. Whenever two objects are broken, there occurs what we call striate—two unique connecting points.” Nihilus didn’t look away from his objects, “If I can match the nail in the sneaker to the suspect’s clippings…” He cut off his reply. Smirking, he exclaimed, “By the Name of the Force!” They had their man.
“The brother was right, wasn’t he?” The tech asked excited.
“Uh-huh.” Nihilus nodded and snuck his tongue out as he peered closer into the scope.
“Yeah!” the tech jumped up and began dancing.
“Careful, you’ll hurt your back.” Nihilus let a smile show. Malak had been right. If only he kept his mind on the evidence, he thought. He left to go have Arren make the arrest.
----
At the Coruscant cantina, Malak parked his speeder in front of a booth. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right but he had to do this. He owed the Judge.
“What’s up, man?” The booth agent asked in a semi bored voice.
“Gimme Packers.” Malak replied, ignoring the tone of voice.
“One second…”
“Malak, come in.” The intercom shouted. OK, whoever is calling, this is not a good time to, Malak thought. Sighing, he picked up the comm and replied, “This is Malak. Go ahead.”
“It’s Nihilus. We got him.”
“Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, yeah!” Malak cheered, “I’ll be right there.”
“Who do you want now?” The booth person asked again.
“Gimmie Niners for Five hundred credits.” Malak had been distracted by the call that he gave the name of the wrong team. It would later prove to be disastrous in his dealings with the Judge. He thought none of this as he collected his ticket and raced down towards the suspect’s home.
----
At the house, Nihilus and Malak watched the arrested husband to the squad speeder. In their minds, they put together what had happened based on the evidence they collected.
The husband loaded up the blaster while Jimmy was banging the door, “Open up!” Then the husband said calmly, “open the door.”
“What are you gonna do?” The frightened wife asked.
“Don’t ask questions.” The husband replied, “Don’t ask questions, just open the door.”
“You son of a b****!” Jimmy walked in.
With three blaster shots, the husband shot Jimmy and he was killed instantly.
Pointing the blaster at the dead, he made sure that he was the one with the Force. Then he took off Jimmy’s left shoe and attempted to put it on. During that, he broke the toenail.
“Do it!” He ordered his wife to walk away. Then he went out and locked the door with his key. Taking a calming breath he then kicked the door open to create the self-defense scene.
“Hey, weren’t you supposed to be shadowing Exar?” Nihilus asked Malak as they were standing there. Something wasn’t it right and he had to know.
“Oh, he’s cool. He’s doing prints on that 407.” Malak replied calmly, “There is an officer there.” Then he patted Nihilus’s back and walked away, “I’m on.”
Nilihus watched as Malak walked away. He had the distinct impression all was not right, that something bad may have happened to their new guy. Something is not right, Nihilus thought. I have a bad feeling about this.
----
Exar was dusting for prints on a telephone in the robbery case. It was simple enough and should be an easy case. There were prints all over the room. He didn’t notice when a man walked in quietly and said, “Excuse me, sir,”
“Hi, sir, eh, can I help you?” Exar cleaned his sweat on his forehead. He tried not to show any fear. Civilians weren’t allowed to crime scenes but this guy didn’t seem like a civilian. It sent the hairs on his neck prickling.
“I’m the neighbor from across the way and I just saw a Squad speeder leave. Is everything okay?” The man appeared to be concerned and sincere.
“Yeah, we had a robbery, but everything is fine.” Exar appreciated the gesture but that tingling feeling wasn’t going away. The best he could do was play it cool.
“Oh, okay.” The man gave a smile and made to turn and leave.
Exar smiled back and hurried back to his work, oblivious to the fact that the man didn’t leave.
The “kind” neighbor reached behind him to reach the blaster that was resting in the waistband of his pants.
----
At the hotel, Carth Onasi knocked Mukai’s room door. He had a satisfied smile on his face and waited until Mukai opened the door. With a smile, Carth said, “Room service.” Still smiling, Carth handed Mukai a package.
“You’re kidding me.” Mukai flung open the door and gently took the package. Then he opened the package. “My stuff! You found my stuff!” Mukai was excited. He didn’t think that he would ever see his stuff, especially his wedding ring.
“Yeah, yeah, your wallet, your cash, credit cards…and wedding ring.” Carth showed him his wedding ring.
“Oh! Thank you!” Mukai thanked Carth and placed his wedding ring right where it belonged.
“Ok, next time you wanna take a shot, go to a dice table. At least if you crap out, you can go home broke instead of busted, you know what I mean?” Carth smiled.
“I sure do. Thank you very much,” Mukai replied with gratuity in his voice. It seemed that kindness was still a norm in the galaxy, even in this part of town.
----
“Congratulations, Carth, my boy. You’re now a CSI level III,” Nihilus said and showed Carth his new badge.
“Whoo!” Carth raised his hands in a prizefighter victory.
“Good job, Carth.” Malak gave his praise with good form.
“Thanks. Uh, hey, Malak, listen, I heard about the whole thing with the shoe and…” Carth was trying to be the good friend and show sympathy.
Malak stood up and shook Carth’s hand. “Forget it, man. It’s all you.” Malak meant every word of it. Nilihus was right. He showed have kept his mind on the case and the evidence.
“Thanks.” Carth said.
“Let’s get some breakfast. It’s on me!” Mira said.
Their celebration was cut short when Arren walked in and put a dampner on things. “Sorry to break your party but I need grave to pull a double,” she said, “Exar Kun has been shot. He’s in hospital now. Apparently the suspect returned to the scene.”
Not a word was spoken. The only thing apparent was the look of astonishment mingled with grief and in one’s face, guilt.
“They don’t think he’s gonna make it.” Arren added, “Malak, I’m putting you on administrative leave pending a full report on your whereabouts. So wash your face and change your socks.” Malak’s face shifted from surprise to angry, but Arren ignored it. She directed her comment to the rest of the group, “You have a long day ahead of you.”
Nick sighed and threw his new badge on the table. Malak shook his head, the guilt burnt in his ears. Nihilus said nothing.
*: UV lights shows a bluish violet light, which us used for detecting any biological fluids or similiar. Besides, there is no "black light".
Epilogue
Next day, the HoloNet broadcasted the shooting. Everyone was watching it in the break room. The announcer spoke, “Tragedy struck early this morning when an on-duty Coruscant Criminalist was brutally gunned down.” Mira and Carth sighed and covered their eyes while the announcer continued, “It was his first night on the job. Victim Exar Kun was investigating a robbery/homicide in an apartment on the corner of Coruscant and Commerce. The crime lab now faces the daunting task of investigating the shooting of one of their own. The wounded CSI has been taken to Jedi Memorial Hospital where he is listed in critical condition.”
Malak was watching the HoloNet standing behind Carth and Mira. He felt guilty and it was eating him alive.
“The suspect is still at large…” Ignoring the rest of the broadcast, Mira turned to Malak, “Weren’t you supposed to be shadowing Exar?”
“Malak, man, what happened?” Carth asked him kindly.
“I left him to hook up with Nihilus on that toenail case, and then, I came back here.” Malak sighed.
“You left Exar solo?” Mira asked with an incredulous look on her face. Newbies had to be shadowed until they were confident enough to go solo.
“It was just supposed to be an easy print job. Look, I feel bad enough, okay?” Malak responded in slight agitation. Things were bad.
Mira and Carth said nothing more when Nihilus came walking in. After watching them a few seconds, Nihilus announced, “Here is what we know: Arren assigned Malak to shadow Exar on a robbery. He left him at the scene. The suspect returned and Exar was shot. The Security Force told me earlier this morning, Arren went back to Security Force.”
“Who’s going to run the unit?” Carth asked.
“For now? Me.” Nihilus said.
Carth sighed and Mira looked as if she had been bitten by a gizka. Nilihus noticed and tried to reassure the team, “I know. We’ll just play it by ear, okay?” Taking a brief glance at Malak, he continued, “All right. Here we go…” He began to read the case briefs. When he was finished handing out the assignments, he stated the obvious though no one said anything, “It’s time to let Visas come back. We need her.”
Good Chapter and Epilogue CSI. Will you wait for JM12 to PM the beta read version, before posting the Archives version? Looking foward to the CSI vs CSI Pilot.
Good Chapter and Epilogue CSI. Will you wait for JM12 to PM the beta read version, before posting the Archives version? Looking foward to the CSI vs CSI Pilot.
Oh, speaking of that, I let JM12 to beta-read all my fic, but I told him/her to make Ch.10 and Epilogue as the first priority, so I think I'll just wait for JM12 and post a Beta-Read version here, instead of the original version. Then I'll put it into Archives.
Oh, I'm writing the prologue now. But you want me to put on the original version or beta-read version?
By the way, sorry if it hears like pushing you around, but how is your Echoes of Darkness now?
Have a nice Thanksgiving (I believe it passed already, but please accept my belated regard.) and a nice Christmas.
By the way, sorry if it hears like pushing you around, but how is your Echoes of Darkness now?
No problem, I can tell you. Echoes of Darkness is going fine so far, after so many rewrites, I've nearly completed the first Part and then I've got nine more parts to write. This is a big project.
Also about your Fic, post whichever version you think is best. I'll read it, if I'm online.
No problem, I can tell you. Echoes of Darkness is going fine so far, after so many rewrites, I've nearly completed the first Part and then I've got nine more parts to write. This is a big project.
Also about your Fic, post whichever version you think is best. I'll read it, if I'm online.
Quite comforting. But another question, did you post your finished 1st part in the forum? Let me dig it out and have a good read!!
Quite comforting. But another question, did you post your finished 1st part in the forum? Let me dig it out and have a good read!!
Well no, just a preview (The Prologue). Despite it not starring the Exile, it has a lot to do with the plot. If you like, I can confirm the planets that will be in the Fic (Highlight the white box below).
Lehon (Rakatan Prime) | Coruscant | Onderon | The Sojourn | Sleheyron | Vogga’s Palace | Ruusan | Valley of the Jedi | Tramond XXV | The Emperor’s Crypt
Well no, just a preview (The Prologue). Despite it not starring the Exile, it has a lot to do with the plot. If you like, I can confirm the planets that will be in the Fic (Highlight the white box below).
Lehon (Rakatan Prime) | Coruscant | Onderon | The Sojourn | Sleheyron | Vogga’s Palace | Ruusan | Valley of the Jedi | Tramond XXV | The Emperor’s Crypt
Valley of the Jedi? Well, nice idea.
Off topic, do you know where to check for the Star Wars races list? I need it for CSI fic.
[edit: never mind, wookiepedias.]
Awww, Exar DIED! Great final chapter and epilogue, though. Just awesome.
Awww, Exar DIED! Great final chapter and epilogue, though. Just awesome.
have to end it because he's not a official character on my character list...
Yeah, but stay tuned for CSI vs. CSI: Pilot Episode.
I am reading it CSI. It's good and I knew what was going to happen. CSI buff :xp:
Will send you the beta.
I am reading it CSI. It's good and I knew what was going to happen. CSI buff :xp:
Will send you the beta.
Well, Thank you very, very much for proof-reading it for me.
Also, have a great Christmas.
I'll read the rest of the Episode and make suggestions too. Always a pleasure to beta for you or anone who needs it.
loved it m8 wish i could write like this
Master Revenge. U. What are u doing here, m8?