Double-post of double-doom!
Wait, I thought the Fedora of Doom could like, transport places and grumble/grumble. Meh, I just wanna be the person to hold the 200th post. I know, i'm a monster. Feel free to commence hating me.
Pyro noticed nobody was following her.
"Oh man, they're heading to the wrong Gold Coast!" She yelled, slapping her forehead with her hand, which then passed through her. She quickly got her laptop out again.
"Mashi! Darth! Mayhem! Smon! Everyone else! Wrong Gold Coast! AUSTRALIA!!!" She typed, before sending the message out to everyone, and landing in Australia, at Dreamworld.
"We can't let you in there mam..." The ticket guy began to say.
"Two things. I'm dead, so try to stop me, and the fate of the world might be in my hands," Pyro shouted, before running through the queue and into Dreamworld, where she believed Anti-Tim may be.
Mmm.. I was wondering which Gold Coast you meant.
"Ha ha!" Jimmy charged directly in the other direction to Pyro. " I do believe that i can get to the early morning markets at Berleigh heads! Maybe I can find some info there. and if not I'll at least get some useless ornamental crap!"
Mayhem slapped her forehead, "NOES! We were so close to Cali...oh well." She clutched the steering wheel and jammed it in the right direction. Zip! Zam! Zoom! The ATM semi-gracefully flew to Australia. 3 min. later (the ATM is fast) she met up wiht Jimmy. Pyramid grunted to him. Mayhem nodded, "ditto. So, where is Tammy?"
"Idiot," Lili sighed, pointing to a burning building not too far off, "She's right there, can't you see her?"
"The ATM can fly?" he then asked. Mayhem shrugged, "it can also make killer chai-lattes."
"So..." gargled voices then rang through the otherwise still atmosphere, "You came back for more? Well, no one harms our mistress." THE KIDS!
"Mayhem tensed, "Raz, Lili, you take these dudes on, me and Jimmy here...and hopefull the others when they get here are going into Tammy's mind." The two nodded, commmencing an action scene too awesome and violent to type. Mayhem thrust the arrowhead on her quiver through the psi-portal Raz had handed her. She took aim at the ever-nearing Tammy's head and released. "&*%$!" She wailed. Mayhem rushed forward in time to be sucked into the madwomans mind, knowing she'd die pretty soon.
Pyro heard the ping of an arrow from the other side of the Gold Coast.
"Those elf ears do serve some purpose," She concluded, before realizing what it meant.
"Pyro... AWAY!" She yelled, flying towards the sound of the arrow. Soon arriving in Burleigh Heads, she landed and got a psycho-portal out of her backpack.
"I didn't know I had one of these... ANYWAY!" She shouted, disappearing into Tammy's mind.
"Whoa..."
"Pyro?" Mayhem gasped. "God, I feel stupid for entering, I thought you were already inside her mind. I shouldn't have come in eitherway, ducking and hiding is my thing..."
She sighed again as she stared into the twisted lanscape surrounding the 2. It was like a giant mall all decked out in Halloween decorations, but far more menacing and dark-looking. "GET OUT!" Tammy's voice boomed. Mayhem and Pyro flipped their heads about in search of Tammy's mental self. "Crappers," Mayhem groaned as she noticed her hand fading away, "I think she's still too strong to attack like this, she needs to be worn down further...I want my mama."
Mashi and Lena arrived...yhei.
"What'd we miss?" Mashi asked.
Jimmy stammered. "I...I forgot."
"Brilliant."
"Thank goodness you're here!' Raz stammered as he breathed heavily, "Tammy is setting the kids on us, and they're tough. Mind helping please?"
Thus began the ass-kicking
:blaze6: :lsduel: :chainsaw: and even some :cowdance
Pyro watched the cow dance.
"Yeah, go dancing cows!" She called, before setting Tammy on fire. Tammy screamed, and Pyro cheered for no particular reason. Suddenly, a strange voice rang in from somewhere else.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" It laughed. Pyro hissed for no particular reason.
"I know that voice!" Mayhem suddenly exclaimed.
"That's..."
"COACH OLEANDER!!!" Jimmy, Pyro, Mashi and Mayhem yelled in unison. Oleander emerged from the flames Pyro had caused.
"I am the one behind all this!" Oleander yelled. Pyro stared blankly at him.
"That was MY line. Prepare to die, evil short guy... Or should I say... TIMOTHY JOHNATHON SCHAFER!!!" Pyro yelled. Everyone turned to her, wondering what the hell she was high on, or what she was on about.
(CUE THE BLANK STARES- Pyro)
"You..." Oleander stuttered with a contorted face, a finger pointing to Pyro "DAMMIT! You are Pyromania? My AIM buddy? Shiznabbit, I should never vaguely reveal secret plans to total strangers on the intarwebz!" Pyro stared back blankly.
Mayhem (having been booted out of Tammy's mind) got up, disgusted to see how Lili or Raz had neglected to protect her body stuck in it's astral trance while her psyche struggled to stay inside Tammy's mind those few seconds. She was all covered in rubble and wine(?) stains, her jeans on fire. It would take FOREVER to get those stains out! Seeing as she had collapsed in front of (the rather woozy looking) Tammy, she 'eep!ed' and crawled away. "Not so fast!' snarled Tammy, a shiny magical-looking but probably fake staff thingy from the 99cents store cocked at her head. Mayhem pouted and crossed her arms, "Well then, it seems as if you're not even the Anti-Tim."
Tammy was taken back, "Wha?? Of course I am!"
"But...Oleander, um, I mean, Timothy..." Mayhem gasped, slowly inching away.
Tammy smirked, "You think there are only 2 universes? only 1 Tim Shafer and 1 Anti-Tim? Or course not, there are hundreds of thousands of universes/dimensions, half with a 'Tim Shafer' of their own, the other half 'Anti-Tim'. Me and him conspired, knowing it would only take two to ignite a chain revolution. As soon as we rid of this Tim, the one that had brought Timothy into his dreaded existance, all the other universes will begin to war themselves without knowing we were behind it! And soon, there will be no more creative games left, so us retarted game designers can keep rehashing tired concepts and get rich off it!"
Mayhem rushed back to her crew, panting and reaching for her bow. The others did the same with their own weapons. "I see..." Timothy/Oly said, "We have had just enough of you two, always getting in our way. This will end right here, right now."
Hey, this is gonna end at some point. It better end right, full of shiny explosions, accurate particle effects, rag-doll physics and more dancing cows.
Grud then came out of freaking no-where, being followed by thousands of Tim Shcafers.
Grud then shouted, "You'd be surprized how many hobos know how to get to alternate realities, Tammy! Good Tims! ATTACK!"
And the war commenced.
(Someone else can describe it if they want this to be the end.)
"Where the heck are we?" A 'Tim Shafer' questioned, before pointing to a Gamestop, "Quick, we must throw out all the crappy, unimaginative games!" Several of them rushed to that. "Buy plenty of copies of PSYCHONAUTS!" Mayhem screeched, "And half of you stay behind!" Half the 'Tims' returned, slightly dissapointed. Then one of them said, "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...channel our creativity...blah blah blah... into hugeass gun...blah blah blah blah kill those two."
"You hop to that then" grunted Pyramid, though of course it came out as imcomprehensible grunts noone could decipher but still understood. "We'll need a little time," The Tim said. "We can weaken slash stall Morry and Tammy while you work on it," Mayhem replied, "Good idea, bty, Tim."
"The name is Tom. Tom Fasher."
"Whatever"
And so the war raged on, people hitting other people with spatulas, Tims, Toms, and Tams brutally murdering one another. Suddenly, Pyro thought of something. Charging over to Mayhem she began to blurt out her idea.
"We have to defeat them using the least imaginative thing possible... High School Musical songs," Pyro mumbled. Mayhem and Mashi mouthed the word 'No'. Pyro smiled softly.
"Yes, it's the only way," A million miles away, several babies began to cry.
"Otherwise the world shall end in flames and dust," Pyro announced, before breaking into a chorus of 'Breaking free'. About halfway through, Mashi started to scream.
"My friend Jo sings it a LOT. I don't like it Mashi, but it must be done!"
"I have an idea that doesn't involve brain damage! How about we trap them in a tangent universe? We just need to open a portal to a tangent universe, trap them inside, kill the living receiver, and boom. They'll be trapped inside and it'll collapse in around a month."
"Sounds good," Mumbled Pyro, pausing in the middle of 'Get cha head in the game'
"Carry out your magic!"
"It's not magic, it's science!" thus Smon did snap his fingers and the Tams, Toms, and Tims poofed away, replaced by a jet engine. "That's the artifact, no-one touch it for twenty-eight days, six hours, forty-two minutes and twelve seconds or you'll be bound to the tangent universe with them."
"Yay!" Pyro cried, and the munted camera that had been filming everything zoomed backwards. The LF gang did one huge high five, before...
"Argh!" Pyro yelled, waking up with a start.
"Whoa, that was perhaps the weirdest dream I've ever had..." She mumbled, before glancing at the clock.
"And it's still 1:00 AM! Better get back to sleep..." She mumbled, snuggling back into her bed. But outside, a short bald man wearing light brown began to laugh evilly, before leaping of the tree and floating down gently.
But that was something she would deal with another day.
THE END.
More pointless violence! Lots of guns, light-sabers, Anti-Tims getting sucked into tangent universes ... Mayhem laughed, her arms akimbo, "No one will ever terrorize Tim Shafer again!"
"OH NOES!" Oleander and Tammy cried, their features fading, their bodies being sucked into a warp-hole behind them. Mayhem continued laughing, hi5ing the others. Her laughter echoed and gradually faded away as black overcame her. Mayhem's eyes fluttered open, and she stretched her arms out, "Wha?? Wait, I'm...in my room?" Mayhem got up from her seat and looked around, she had apperantly fallen asleep in front of the computer. "What a weird dream, I coulda sworn it was real. I might as well go vampire hunting for college credits seeing it's so late, 1 AM actually" She said at last, grabbing her bow and quivers. Hoisting herself over her bedroom window, she let out a content sigh and dropped down to the wet earth below.
At DF studios...
"They did it, I can't beleive, it, THEY KILLED THE ANTI-TIM!" Manny shuddered, collapsing against his chair and staring blankly at his PC. "Never underestimate the fans," Tim replied, "The Anti-Tim moniter has stopped altogether and I haven't seen the Weinermobile in hours when we usually sight him every 10 minutes. They wont recall what happened, but I wish those weird kids the best of luck." Tim smirked and left Manny's side, "We should keep working on our topsecret game, doncha think? Lets just hope we have such loyal fans next round..."
Fin
Smon awoke with a start. "Whew, for a second there I thought I was gonna be a manipulated dead... well, I'm sure some other dead guy will be responsible for cleaning up this tangent universe problem." he said and then got up to play the computer, because he usually wakes up at about 1:00 AM anyway.
You know, before I started this, I looked at the final pages of other RPG's, most didn't have an ending. People just lost interest and the thread died, this was one of the few that actually ended, and ended right on a good note (sorta). I just had to comment on that.
Hehe, I agree with Mayhem. Now I should start up another role play.
^Oh for craps sake no Pyro.
note: BTW GUYS I'M BACK!!!!
Yay for returniness. Oh, but Grud is gone foevas. *emonessicity*
I'M WRITING AN EPILOGUE HAHAHAHAH I RUINED YOUR GOOD ENDING
Pyramid Head #2 took off the helmet. "Wow, so the clone Anti-Tim is dead?" He was, in fact, Anti-Tim.
"Yup," #1 said, revealing his face as THAT GUY WHO HAD THE GRIM FANDANGO TATOO. "Now we can get our revenge for true."
"Do we get to keep the knives?"
"HELL yes."
HAHJAHKAJEFWK WIN
Psha, it was just ironic that St Jimmy came back just as Grud left, and of course since I never shut my yap I had to comment on that too ^^.
Well, Cheez has gone over to the dark side fosho, *emoness/happines*. Why happines? We need a villain, every forum has one. Neh, I'm being random again, someone stop me. Knives or gunshots will do.
-pulls out Scatter gun from Jak-
HUZZAH!
-shoots shot into Mayhem's arm-
I didn't do it... -shifty eyes-
Yeah, you didn't do it. Didn't do it LIKE A FOX!!!! *calls for medic which in-turn revives Mayhem* *Puts straight-jacket to use*
Straight jackets are so ... strappy. A bold fashion statement indeed.
FERRIS BUELLER: It's over...go home.
Ooh! I likes teh quote game!
BRAVEHEART: FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!
sdlkdslfjg; IT'S NOT THE QUOTE GAME.