I've always really liked quotes. I used to collect my favorite quotes from books, video games, shows and movies. This thread is for posting some of your favorite quotes. They can be funny or serious and can be from anything you want. (Even from real people...whatever)
The universe doesn't much care if you tread on a butterfly. There are plenty more butterflies. Gods might note the fall of a sparrow but they don't make any effort to catch them.
-Terry Pratchett (Lords and Ladies)
All he knew was that you couldn't hope to try for the big stuff, like world peace and happiness, but you might just about be able to achieve some tiny deed that'd make the world, in a small way, a better place.
Like shooting someone.
-Terry Pratchett (The Fifth Elephant)
"Just a robot? I'll never really know what peace and joy are. All I have is precalculated responses and gestures...I'm such an idiot." ~Rya Botkins BS69 "Rya's Wedding"
*sniff*
Hmmm. I have a couple I like.
"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance." - Confucius
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. - Jack Handy
Hong Kong danger squad, You can’t escape da danger!
We from Hong Kong Connecticut. It faaaar east Connecticut. The danger capital of the world. You can’t escape the danger there very long.
-UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE
Fire is HOT, how bout it!?!?
-UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE
"Human's rule!!! Dolphins can suck it!!!!"
-UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE
"Friends! Help! A guinea pig tricked me!"
- Futurama
Nibblonian: You are the last hope of the universe.
Fry : So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?
Nibblonian: Yes - except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock.
- Futurama
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I have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many more. I'll have to stagger them over a series of days as to not overload this place with awesomeness.
"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever." - 1984
"Voilа! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-a-vis an introduction, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." - V for Vendetta (film) I'm a sucker for alliterations.
Sam: Sometime we should sit down and have a spiritual discussion about the sanctity of life.
Max: BLAM! And then he was mucilage! Did you say something, Sam?
Sam: Forget it, little buddy.
A LITTLE GIRL!!! RARRARAGHGHGH! GOD DAMNIT! COME ON BABY JESUS, I'LL TAKE YOU ON RIGHT NOW -Upright Citizens Brigade
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be love loved in return.-Moulin Rouge!
Reporter: Would you like to give us a word or two?
Kitty Baxter: I'll give you three- GO TO HELL.- Chicago
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All the following are from Waiting for Guffman.
UFO Expert: I've been coming to this circle for about five years, and measuring it. The diameter and the circumference are constantly changing, but the radius stays the same. Which brings me to the number 5. There are five letters in the word Blaine. Now, if you mix up the letters in the word Blaine, mix 'em around, eventually, you'll come up with Nebali. Nebali. The name of a planet in a galaxy way, way, way... way far away. And another thing. Once you go into that circle, the weather never changes. It is always 67 degrees with a 40% chance of rain.
Corky St. Clair: Well, then, I just HATE you... and I hate your... ass... FACE!
Libby Mae Brown: I been workin' here at the D.Q. for about, um... eight months? Seven? I don't know, somethin' like that, it's fun. Just do the cones... make sundaes, make Blizzards, 'n... put stuff on 'em, 'n... see a lot of people come in, a lot of people come to the D.Q... burgers... ice cream... anything, you know? Cokes... just drive in and get a Coke, if you're thirsty.
Libby Mae Brown: [as "Ima"] I hear that French girls... are very pretty... that they wear the finest of clothes. I also hear that they are experts... in the ways of love.
Corky St. Clair: [as "Monty"] Ima... I'm going to fight for my country! To fight... and yes, perhaps die... so that young men from here to Timbuktu can feel the wind of freedom blowin' through their hairrrrr!
Dr. Pearl: I dream of Genie with the light brown hair. Floating like a vapor on the soft summer air. LOOK OUT! Campdown races sing this song doo da doo da...
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I freggin love Waiting for Guffman.
Chowder: I thought if I shot the heart it'd die.
Jenny: THAT isn't the heart.
Chowder: Then what is it?
Jenny: Well...if those are the teeth...and that's the tongue...then that must be the uvula.
Chowder: Oh...so it's a girl house.
Jenny: What? No! The uvula generates the gag reflex...everyone has one.
Chowder: (Looking creeped out) I don't.
-I just got back from Monster House in 3D.
--------------------Invader Zim-----------------------------
Ms. Bitters: Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now.
Zim: You can't escape by teleporter, little Gaz. I cut the power! Your pitiful attempt to escape is nothing but a PITIFUL FAILURE! Stupid, stinking humans!
Gaz: Doesn't this spaceship have any escape pods?
Zim: Of course; they're right over there.
Zim: My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Taaaaaaallist! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? It's me! My Tallest? My Tallest!
Almighty Tallest Red: I was waiting to see when you would shut up on your own, but it's been three hours, Zim. THREE HOURS! What do you want?
Zim: Well, I noticed you're moving closer to the Earth than *ever* before!
Almighty Tallest Red: How would you know that?
Zim: Oh I know all kinds of theings about you. Pretty creepy, huh? Anyhow, I was...
Almighty Tallest Purple: Hey!... That *is* creepy! You're creepy, Zim.
Zim: You're nothing Earth boy! Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!
Dib: Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.
(WAY too many good quotes from that show)
A problem correctly posed provides it's own solution. ~ Terry Pratchet (The last Hero.)
The Chosen One : Betty has gone too far. Killing is bad .... and ...wrong. there should be a new word for killing like... Badong! And I will stand for the opposite of badong... *actually tries to pronounce* G..nod.ab.
Dude #1. Where does it hurt?
Dude #2 Pretty much around the big bloody spot...
Captain Lorington: You are undoubtedly the worst pirate I have ever heard of.
Captain Jack Sparrow: Ahh... but you have heard of me...
From X-play,
Morgan: I wish I was a splinter cell. i would love to kill for my country!
Blair: Wow Morgan. That's oddly patriotic of you.
Morgan: Actually, Country wasn't really the key word in that sentence.
Blair: Oh. *short pause* Awwwwwkwaaard.
St. Jimmy, you get cool points for quoting both Terry Pratchett and Pirates in the same post.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
-Terry Pratchett
For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.
Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites
"Bum bum bum bum ba dum bum ba dum! I get my own theme song? Being on the dark side rox!"-iharthdarth
Wish in one hand **** in the other and see which one gets filled first. Green Day.
Look! Tis our noble king!- Francisco De Orellana, in a play I wrote when I was ten.
Thinky dance!- Alice Fairley.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEE- Me
Off to smile sincerely at dogs- Zokhail, tower survivor.
My ENTIRE quotes page at fan fiction (dotnet)
Link here:
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1039434/)
Also...
The only thing the bowl of petunias thought as it fell were- "Oh no. Not again,"- Hitchhiker's guide.
And the aptly named, 'sir not appearing in this film'- Monty python and the holy grail.
Here I am at the store. (Insert shopping sequence)- Bonus Stage 86.
I am the bacon man bring all the pork I can to all the little kids down the row. Clogging their arteries with all the MSG's so they'll all die at the age of eight- Bonus Stage 79.
OW! I Can see you were being literal. OW! Oh great, now I can't see color. OW! My name is Barbara- Bonus Stage 79.
Be careful of the vase.
What vase? Oh, this one.
(SMASH!)
No, that one.- Scary movie 3.
Yes, but why is the rum gone?- POTC=COTBP
Why is the rum always gone?- POTC=DMC
SHE'S HERE!!! HIDE THE RUM!!!- POTC=DMC
Look mommy, it's another horse!- Furcadia, my character's description.
I WANT TO BE A DUCK TOO!!!
Ok, Ebony officially wins the random contest- Furcadia, a random conversation.
If I was Emma, I would hate you.- Mrs Oliver
"Lemons on the left side, demons on the right, never in the dark, never in the light."-Neil Cicierega
"Emmy, I'm not going to hit you with this hammer."
"...thanks!"
"*bonk* APRIL FOOLS."-Neil and Emmy
"Just usher that Diablo back, give him a guitar painted with a union jack!"-Lemon Demon
"Then Gandalf the Grey, and Gandalf the White, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, and Bunito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, Terminator, Capt. Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, and Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan, all came out of nowhere, lightning fast, and the kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass, it was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw, with civilians looking on in total awe!"-Trapezoid
'Do you have any more complaints? Just make a list and we'll stick it on the porthole, okay?'
'Man, nothing is fυcked here...'
'Nothing is fυcked?! The Goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain!'
And from the most-quotable movie of all time:
'This is special agent Johnson... no, the other one.'
'Those terrorists are gonna be pissing their pants right now!'
'The mayor's gonna have my ass...'
'Yee-ha! Just like fυckin' Saigon, eh slick?'
'I was in junior high, dickhead.'
'"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."'
"Will you sing it again?"
"Um...no."
"You sound like my sister"
"That's because I AM!"
"No your not."
"I know, i just wanted to scare you. I scared myself a little with that." -Me and this one kid in my social studies class.
FF7 Quotes
-----------------------
"The gate of tomorrow is not the light of heaven, but the darkness in the depths of the earth" -Vincent Valentine.
Barret: How much farther do these stairs go on?
Tifa: Why don't you ask them?
Barret: It's not one of them endless stairways or somethin', d'ya think?
Tifa: Of course not!!
Barret: Right... couldn't be that....Are we there yet?
Tifa: Not yet.
-Shinra Tower Stairwell, Final Fantasy VII
I know how hard it is being a leader. I've been
one. I always forget who has what materia.
-Cid, Final Fantasy VII
A pro isn't someone who sacrifices themselves for a job. That's just a fool.
-Reno, Final Fantasy VII
CENTRAL: What do you want, eraser?
JACK: Please don't call me that.
CENTRAL: That's who you are. Your title, Wrath, Eraser. Erase sould from the populace of Earth. "Need, dream, find, taste, use, scar, ****, break" as the original reaper said of his position.
ME: NINE INCH NAILS REFERENCE!
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach
"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer
Don't play with fire, play with Lili Zanotto- Mashi's current (*coughcough* EVIL!!) quote on her siggy.
SNEE!!!- Myself.
"Smoooooooke, on the waaaaaaterrrr, dun, nun nun-ire in the skiiieee, duh nun nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh..." -Me, playing Guitar Hero
YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!! Vivian from 'The Young Ones'
I am bleeding and that makes me the victor!~ Wimp Lo from 'Kung Pow'
"I rule baby!"
"And who do you rule? The large dark nipple people?"
-Wimp Lo and Chosen One from "Kung Pow"
"FRED FREDBURGER! Yes."-Fred Fredburger
I rock. and roll. All day long. Sweet suzy... Wimp Lo
I also like all the narrator's comments
"Chicken go 'cluck cluck' Cow go 'moo', everyone an animal how about you?"-Master from Kung Pow
"VOTE OR DIE MOTHA****A VOTE OR DIE! Vote now or I will stab you in the motha****in' eye."-South Park
I am a good man who is happy ALL OF THE time... ... but first a joke. What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Betty. Kung Pow.
"My nipples look like milk duds!"-Wimp Lo
Quick! I need gopher-chuks! The chosen one
Bana na na na Neo! Ba na na na na na na Sphorin! Master
he was my father all my life! Ling
"Molon Labe."
Greek for "come and get me," first said by the Spartan general Leonidas to King Xerxes.
Btw, this is my first post. I just established what a geek I am, right? :D
We're not gonna make it!
We'll make it.
We're not gonna make it!
We'll make it.
PULL UP! PULL UP!
*crash!*
You did that on purpose didn't you?
~Cortana and the Master chief~ HALO
Yes you did. welcome aboard.
"I'm telling you, he's a slave laborer, always kidnapping children and forcing them to work on his ship and paying them with cereal, Cap'n Crunch is a cruel, cruel man."-Myself.
I just wanna be the clown that smacks kids... Ahkmal on Thank God You're Here.
"I'm tellin' ya, a six year old invented Fuddruckers."-Me
"I was weak... that's why I needed you... I needed someone to punish me for my sins... but that's all over now. I know the truth. Now it's time to end this." James, Silent Hill 2
ZOUNDS!! -Avery
DY-NO-MITE!!!-JJ, good times
I am bleeding and that makes me the victor!~ Wimp Lo from 'Kung Pow'
hehehe, I love anything with Steve Oedekerk.
"This is my nuts to fist technique!" - Wimp Lo
"Hey, you gotta match?"
"Yeah, my butt and your... butt."
-Butt-head and his father
"This is my nuts to fist technique!" - Wimp Lo
THAT'S THE LINE I WAS TRYING TO REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA thank you!
One of lifes great truths is this; when one is about to be hit by a speeding 300 pound coke machine, one need worry about nothing else.
-Stephen King, The Tommyknockers
"I'm blind, bald, and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene."
-Jim Gaffigan
"You ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither."
-Jim Gaffigan
I will tell you, that you Christians have created a holiday that has become a beast that cannot be fed. Every year, Christmas gets longer and longer and longer, and you don't care, do you? You just take more and more of the calendar for yourself. It's unbelievable. How long does it take you people to shop?! It's beyond belief. It's insane. When I was a kid, Halloween was Halloween, and Santa wasn't poking his ass into it!
-Lewis Black.
They've gotta stop reporting wind chill. That's nonsense. It really is. I don't know where they came up with it, why they came up with it, but it's a lie. They come on, 'well, it's 27 degrees today, but with the wind chill, it's minus 3.' ... well, then it's minus 3, *******! I don't need to know what the weather was like if the conditions were perfect!
-Lewis Black
that is a nice boulder, I like that boulder.
Housemaster: "LOL LEZ g0 2 HUHWAYEE!!!"
Dog: "WE CNA h00LA AND FYTE AGENZT DA TYDEE!!!!"
Woogy: "DUNT 4GETH 2 FLAAHP URARRMAZ"
*Housemaster flaps his right arm*
Good Kitty: "JO'Z HEER"
(You know what, this would be better if you guys just watched it. (
http://www.disasterlabs.com/index.php?sec=arfen2))
Everyone's so full of $#IT! Born and raised by hypocrites! ~Billie Joe Armstrong~
EXCELLENT!!!! ~Bill and Ted
"Come on Eileine!"
"What are you talking about?"
"We were playing the song title game, remember?"
"Oh yeah."
"Wanna start again?"
"Ok...We will rock you!"
"Bohemian Rhapsody."
"...I lose."
-Me and my friend.
Oi Sam check this out
Hey dip****!
*Thomas looks up*
Heh. Heh! He responds to dip****!
~Me showing Sam how stupid Tom is~
Ooh! Ooh! Iknowit'sadoublepostbutI'mtooexcitedtoevenusespaci ngletaloneeditthelastpost
I feel like mould It's prom night and i am all a Lo and behold She's walking over to my lip starts to quake my hand starts to shake. How does she know who i am? And why does she give a damn about.. Girl: I've got to tickets to Iron Maiden baby, come with me Friday don't say maybe I'm just a Teenage Dirtbag baby, Like you. ooooohhhooOOHhhHH..... ~Wheatus~ (one of the best songs in the world) Teenage Dirtbag! YAY!!!!!
"..Coke has 50 mgs of sodium...DAMN!"
-self
"OMFG! Now I have 2 pimp cups!"
-also self.
Terry Pratchett Quotes
"And I promise you this," he shouted, "if we succeed, no-one will remember. And if we fail, no-one will forget!"
-Carrot (Jingo)
"But they start off knowing they're not going to win."
"So do I."
"Oh, no, you surely ----"
"I meant that I start off knowing they're not goin' to win, too," said Granny witheringly.
-Letice and Granny Weatherwax (The Sea and Little Fishes)
"It killed Old Vincent the Ripper," said Boy Willie. "He choked to death on a concubine."
There was no sound but the hiss of snow in the fire and a number of people thinking fast. "I think you mean cucumber," said the bard.
-The Last Hero
"We put all our politicians in prison as soon as they're elected. Don't you?"
"Why?"
"It saves time."
-The Last Continent
"Yo Ave"
"What now?"
"I wanted to ask you somthing."
"Is it a favor?"
"No"
"Than what?"
"What's the best song ever."
"Bohemian rhapsody."
"why"
"Don't question Queen, Emma. Learn that lesson well."
-Me and my friend Emma.