I don't trust well, anyone. I dont feel it's necessary to go into detail but basically i lost a girlfriend whom i cared a great deal about after we had been together four years. She'd been with me a long time, from when i was fourteen through late eighteen. Thats a major part of any persons life to be there for.
Every "first time" i had was with her - she was my first kiss, and well everything on from that, not to be too graphic. She was there when nobody else was, im sure you all know the feeling. I don't want to get too far into the emotions of this since its all an example for the point i wish to bring up here.
In the end, a situation came up that was not of my doing or hers, but it did end our relationship. After so long and so much, i had figured it could not happen, that she would not end our relationship that had even endured her living in america for a while, but she did.
All throughout our last days together i did everything i could, sacrificed anything and everything to try and be there for her but that was apparently not enough for her.
So my question and my point is: if you can't trust somebody after sharing four very important years together, when can you? is it possible to ever trust someone? Is it even natural for human beings to trust each other? Are the personal relationships we go through no more than an illusion of closeness, given that even with a marriage of forty years or more, all it takes to bring it down is a five minute conversation.
Don't get me wrong, my own experience is not one i wish to discuss, but it is a useful example for my argument which is that trust is not possible in a close relationship, ever.
by the way, im a bit of a bitter old sod :D
I typically don't trust anyone for several years of knowing them. Trust is too fleeting a thing to just hand out like stuffing at Thanksgiving.
heh, i've lost like all my friends cause of misunderstandings. mostly an age difference that comes into play...(me being 2 years older than them and taking crap from my parents and not bitchin about it, and then having to take even more crap from my friends cause of it) meh. they can all die, die go to hell and burn. :rolleyes:
every person i've tried to be friends w/has deserted me, so i'm like '**** it' and just hang out w/my sister, who also has no friends. heh and this particular friend was my friend for like 8 years til he did something stupid and could've got me into serious trouble. (he used my damn 2 way radio and was saying **** like 'i've got a girl and i'm gonna kill her' while we were hanging out in a crowd during 4th of july...my mom had the other radio and heard it, and who takes the hit? i do.
our friendship kinda went downhill from that point on....
I've already cried myself to sleep a few times thinking about it, but in the end....it only makes me stronger. no friends, no pressure. i get to do whatever the hell i want without as many people saying 'what the hell are you doing' or more like 'why don't you do this? you are weird if you don't do this.'
and i don't trust anybody anymore...cause every new person i meet ends up stabbing me in the back one way or another. :(
friends are only enemies in disguise, waiting to stab you in the back.
Originally posted by Rogue15
friends are only enemies in disguise, waiting to stab you in the back.
<.<.....>.>
Uh.....what can I say.
S*** happens. Some things just don't work out.
I believe that there can be a mutual feeling of trust between 2 people. Sometimes that trust can disappear, but it WAS there.
there are people you know and friends. you may know many people (some more, some less) but will have only a couple of friends. and those you can trust. well, at least so far that they won't sleep with your girlfriend.
oh, and as for girlfriends .. there is no guarantee for anything, even if couples were married for years with kids and everything it happens that one of both says "uuhhm, honey.. i'm gay.. y'know?", and .. well you said you had every first time with her.. guess the set is complete now.
hm.. you are young, there are others, you will get over it and feel better, trust me. ;
/dubious
Originally posted by RayJones
there are people you know and friends. you may know many people (some more, some less) but will have only a couple of friends. and those you can trust. well, at least so far that they won't sleep with your girlfriend.
oh, and as for girlfriends .. there is no guarantee for anything, even if couples were married for years with kids and everything it happens that one of both says "uuhhm, honey.. i'm gay.. y'know?", and .. well you said you had every first time with her.. guess the set is complete now.
hm.. you are young, there are others, you will get over it and feel better, trust me. ;
/dubious
heh, i already broke up with her before and got back with her, i didnt need that for the set :D
i feel fine now - it was about nine months ago now so i dont think about every day the way i used to, i have moved on and learned my lesson. The lesson is that trust is not possible because you could never seriously believe there was no chance of somebody completely changing
hmm, well, i've found that friends are human just like everyone else on this planet (to state the obvious). nobody's perfect, so sometimes, a breakdown of trust will happen.
i've had it happen a couple of times, but ya know what??? you just pick up the pieces and move on. there's about 6 billion people in this world, so surely there is someone out there that you can put your trust into again.
as for someone that you get really intimate with (as in really close to; not neccessarily sexually involved), that can really hurt. i know that from experience on several occasions. in that case, you can either hold out your hand in forgiveness, or just find someone else. if you hold out your hand, and they don't take it, then just find someone else. it may take some time to heal first, but in the end, you'll be just fine. :)
grrrr, i am fine :D
im just saying though that the lesson to be learned is that trust can never be possible, or if it can be possible it can never be wise
If you are smart, you don't trust anyone.
Originally posted by kipperthefrog
If you are smart, you don't trust anyone.
no. if you're smart you break everybody's trust in you.
i'll never be smart. :)
Trust... We're still simian in nature, some more than others. And in certain ape-cultures there's a solid hierarchy in place. Trust is irrelevant when someone is in command. If they're in command, you do what they want, whether you trust them or not.
It's possible that relationships are like that. People try to institute a hierarchy. That's why relationships in which the husband is henpecked or the wife is seen and not heard- surprisingly- often last a long time. Because there's a hierarchy that both people fit into comfortably.
When two people get together and want equal rights, equal share and an equal voice... that's when they become disappointed in each other, because they both want the trappings of dominance and neither can have them unless the other submits.
Equality is an unnatural state for us I feel.
Or maybe it's simpler than all that. Maybe most people are just ar*eholes.
no. if you're smart you break everybody's trust in you.
i'll never be smart.Self-aggrandisement disguised as self-deprecation. :p
Being intelligent does NOT go hand in hand with being dishonourable.
Originally posted by Leper Messiah
i have moved on and learned my lesson. The lesson is that trust is not possible because you could never seriously believe there was no chance of somebody completely changing
i say trust is possible, seriously, just don't be stupid and "believe everything" and keep an critical eye on things. also, you cannot be sure you won't ever change yourself.
I trust.
And I get hurt for it.
But that's life, isn't it.
Take what you can get, give nothin' back.
:D
Think of it this way. If you don't trust, you may avoid painful situations. But it's not that simple; to be hurt by those situations you have to be very happy in them. If you don't trust, you may not get hurt, but you may not be happy either...