I want to take a survey. I put this hear because I prefer a semi-serious response.
After I get a few responses I'll post mine ;).
Anyway, tell me what makes the ideal mate for you.Try and be as specific as you possibly can.
Physically: Shorter than me, brown hair, not overly skinny.
Personality: Good sense of humor, likes MY sense of humor, can take being insulted without throwing a girly hissy fit. Enjoys good movies.
Hmmm.....That's all I can think of at the moment, I'll edit in more if I think of it.
(for the record, my current girlfriend meets all of these criteria, and I honestly think I'm going to marry her someday)
I've never been overly concerned with physical attractions. In my opinion, if she can truly make me laugh without trying all that hard, I can fall in love with her.
As for physical attractions..... I prefer short girls, short hair....and Belly rings are a bonus! :naughty:
Meh, I prefer the type that is about my hight, has a care free attitude, and isnt all girly-girl-ish.
Originally posted by ET Warrior
Physically: Shorter than me, brown hair, not overly skinny.
Personality: Good sense of humor, likes MY sense of humor, can take being insulted without throwing a girly hissy fit. Enjoys good movies.
ditto. except add cute face as well :p a nice rack is not a requirement but a bonus point
Originally posted by Alegis
ditto. except add cute face as well :p a nice rack is not a requirement but a bonus point
Ahso, I would like to add that to mine :D
I figured the cute face was kind of a given, I mean, I can't date someone I'm not attracted to.
And boobs are a very nice perk ;) (no pun intended)
Any hair color. Cute, smart, proportionate body, athletic, tiny bit of everything, like me.
Strangely I am rarely attracted to asians. Maybe it's my fascination with the western world @_@
*Watches everyone sigh as he steps up to state his ideal girl* :p
Well...let me see.
First of all, her physical body couldn't mean less to me, but even I have preferences.
Height? About the same as mine, it would be nice to kiss her without bending over, or her having to get on her tip-toes.
Weight? Well, healthy. I don't want her to die 15 years before me because she was so overweight.
Breast? Ah come on. You knew it wouldn't mean anything to me. ;)
And yes, of course I would prefer a cute face. But I don't really care. :)
Now the important part...her personality.
Understanding...that is a big one. I would want her to be an understanding partner, who knows I am not perfect, and accepts me, and loves me despite that.
Supportive. I would want her to be supportive of my goals, and my dreams. Just as I would be of hers. I would want a relationship, where we help each other to reach our goals.
Loving. Who doesn't want a partner who is loving? Somebody who enjoys to cuddle, and kiss, and just lay in bed, held tightly in your arms.
Kind and compassionate. I would want somebody who cares for others. Who enjoys helping people, just for the sake of doing so. Somebody who would happily give her lunch to a starving man on the street, who's name she didn't even know.
Comforting. I admit, I have low self esteem...I would like a girl who would comfort me when I am down, and perhaps even help me to overcome that. Somebody who will always be there to remind me, that no matter what everyone else thinks, she loves me.
Optimistic. Because I am pessimistic. I would like a girl with a happy view of life. Somebody who expected the best to happen, as apposed to the worst. She may even help me to not be so down all the time.
Loyal and faithful. One of the most important, of course. I would of course want her to be loyal and faithful to me, as I would be to her. No relationship where your partner goes around with men all of the time really works...
Fun loving. Yeah! Nobody likes somebody who just wants to sit in doors and watch TV all of the time...well maybe some people. I like to go out on dates, and have fun outdoors.
Energetic. Well of course I want somebody who can keep up with me, I am a handful. :D
And that is all I can think of, at this time.
Physical: Medium build, little shorter than me, don't really care about hair/eye color, medium length hair, cute face, hot body, slim, but not a stick, with nice curves.
Peronality: Good sense of humor, likes my sense of humor, likes video games, doesn't mind my playing video games, supportive but doesn't crush me, doesn't overreact, likes almost all movies, or at least the same ones I like, Loyal, won't abandon me for the first guy who asks her out, loving, kind, won't kick someone when he's down, fun-loving, not ultra-serious.
You've all posted some interesting points.
As far as looks go, pretty is as pretty does. In other words, you could have a date or partner who looks like a model, but if they don't treat you with respect, that pretty wears off.
Loyal? Absolutely, but who cares if your partner is loyal but is constantly putting you down? So supportive and considerate is a definite. Actually I would want a partner who is devoted exclusively to me.
Having some common interests makes sense, and being comfortable communicating with your partner is essential.
Hiroki is telling some very good points. But I am wondering if he is thinking what he will do for his girlfriend.
The key is two people each being devoted to the other, and wanting to please the other. Being happy together, but free to have some independent interests, collaborating, being passionate together.
I haven't seen it happen very often though.
Lessee...
About 5'8, 110 lbs, dark burnette hair, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeautiful smile, a laugh that is music to my ears, not controling, loyal(I had a gf cheat on me...stupid whore:¬: ), nice dresser, treats me right, enjoys(or atleast pretends) my hobbies, atleast some of the same hobbies(vampires pwn j00), same tastes in food(less argument over where to go), nice body, absoluetly gorgeous eyes, same music(KoRn pwns all).
...:D
Nile Queen, if you knew me, you would know doing stuff for my girlfriend is what I am all about. :p I have very strong feelings for someone currently, but that person can not engage in a serious romantic relationship at the moment, so I promised her that I would wait, no matter how long it took, for things to improve for her.
I always do my very best to devote every ounce of myself to the girl I love. I would do anything for her, and in all honesty, that list does match her pretty well. If you ever read this, know that to my eyes, you are the perfect girl. :)
Originally posted by Mike Windu
Strangely I am rarely attracted to asians. Maybe it's my fascination with the western world @_@
We have a lot to discuss my friend:D
Height and weight: Proportionnate to each other. Though I prefer someone who's about the same size as me, a little shorter or a little higher doesn't matter.
Eyes and Hair:Brown or light brown.
Cute face, rack, ass whatever you say...lol no seriously, I just care about the cute face but the rest I don't.
Personnality:
-Fun-loving
-Optimistic
-Loyal(I am so I expect the same)
-Romantic(okay call me a sissy if you want I like romance :xp:)
-Caring
-Compassionate
-Funny
(The list is in no particular order.)
Marge Simpson.
Oh very well, I'll elaborate. A female who doesn't want to change herself or meself, is always welcome. I'm happy with who I am, if I like a girl it's because I'm happy with who she is, why change either?
Oh very well, I'll elaborate. A female who doesn't want to change herself or meself, is always welcome. I'm happy with who I am, if I like a girl it's because I'm happy with who she is, why change either?
Well Spider AL, people are always changing or evolving. What happens if you or she decide you want to take up a new hobby?
I found her, and have been married to her for over 12 years now.
Lucky me! (and the s3x is still great as well ... in case you youngins worried about that stuff ;) )
Mike
Well Spider AL, people are always changing or evolving.I dispute this. People don't change, as a rule. People may be able to change certain aspects of their behaviour through sheer force of will (alcoholics abstaining for example) but the psychology that drove them to do those things in the first place remains. Thus, alcoholics must maintain focus every day, etcetera. This is the same for minor things.
What happens if you or she decide you want to take up a new hobby?That's a little extreme, isn't it? Taking up a hobby isn't likely to drastically change the personality of the person taking it up.
That aside, people do grow apart naturally, usually through the natural process of getting to know each other better. If my ladyfriend naturally changes in my perception beyond recognition, to the extent that she was no longer a person I wanted to be around, we'd have to part ways. The same goes for her, if I changed drastically.
However, this bears no relation to the initial premise: I don't really like being around people who aren't happy with who they are, or who I am.
Thus a woman who wants to change her man- or a man who wants to change his woman- is something I really hate, because it's insulting to the poor soul he or she's trying to change. Instead of latching onto this poor soul and trying to mould them into a fantasy, they should be more realistic in their world view. Of course, they never will... because people don't change that drastically.
PS: You are "the man" lukeiamyourdad. Oh yes.
I disagree Spider AL. Your opinion is very flawed, as it does not take into account the maturity of the person. Maturity makes a huge difference. I should know. I'm hardly the same person I was two years ago...
I should know. I'm hardly the same person I was two years ago...No offence, but I've never met nor heard of anyone who changed in any meaningful way from the time they were adolescent. (more accurately, from the time they finished adolescence.) People like to think they change, and more, that they can change at will. People like to feel in control of their fates and personalities. I'm not saying our days are written in advance, I AM saying that core personality does not alter and this naturally influences our path in life. If someone has an addictive personality that never goes away, even if they learn to abstain from certain things like alcohol or cigarettes. They substitute other addictions instead.
Well, you believe what you wish to believe. But I know what I've seen. You're welcome to your opinions, but please do not act like they are anything more than that.
And don't YOU forget, that the same goes for you. ;)
I dispute this. People don't change, as a rule. People may be able to change certain aspects of their behaviour through sheer force of will (alcoholics abstaining for example) but the psychology that drove them to do those things in the first place remains. Thus, alcoholics must maintain focus every day, etcetera. This is the same for minor things.
People grow as they mature and learn more things. Hopefully they never stop learning. People definitely change in relationships. They have to, to try to find a balance between what they would want to do if they only had themselves to consider vs. hitting a happy medium on what they want relating to what their partner wants. Some partners are supportive and easy to be around. Others are nagging and fault finding and a real challenge. Some are self centered and others are supportive. WHo you end up will bring out a different side to your personality.
That's a little extreme, isn't it? Taking up a hobby isn't likely to drastically change the personality of the person taking it up.
No but they may develop new friends and grow as they learn new things. Hobby may not be a strong enough word. That sounds innocuous and back-burner like. Activity, avocation, passion.
Let's say your girlfriend takes a ballroom dancing class, decides she likes it and wants to go dancing every Friday, and you don't.
What if there are kids and she wants to go back to college? You may want her home fixing dinner and taking care of those kids while you relax after your day job. That's an example that could create conflict.
Okay let's say you and your girlfriend are atheists, or agnostics, and she becomes a born-again Christian. That's a change. How would you handle it?
Thus a woman who wants to change her man- or a man who wants to change his woman- is something I really hate,
I agree with this. You need to accept that person for who he/she is. What if your partner was doing drugs? Would you try to change that behavior?
Of course, they never will... because people don't change that drastically.
I don't think I agree with this. There may be elements of your personality that don't change. But the purpose of your life or your priorities may change.
People grow as they mature and learn more things. Hopefully they never stop learning. Of course people stop learning, people are lazy. People like to be static and comfortable. Self-improvement comes a not-so-close second to familiarity and the status quo. Even intellectual professionals like doctors and other miscellaneous medicos have been shown in various studies to have not bothered to read any medical journals after they graduated from med-school. There was a big outcry about that in my own neck of the woods a few years ago.
WHo you end up will bring out a different side to your personality.All situations bring out different SIDES of our personalities slightly more strongly. Bringing out something more strongly is not however a change to the core of a person, their deep-down persona. Someone who's nagging in a relationship is usually arrogant in different areas of their life as well, and someone who's subservient in marriage is likewise also subservient in other areas.
Activity, avocation, passion.Okay, but people who are passionate about such pursuits don't just develop this passion overnight. Chances are, when I meet such a girl she'll be passionate about something else (apart from me that is :D )... like... Tae kwan do and so it won't be any large change if she tries something new, like ballroom dancing. People who engage in "hobbies" for want of a better word, well, they're that sort of persona. That sort of personality type. If that's what I fall in love with, so be it.
Okay let's say you and your girlfriend are atheists, or agnostics, and she becomes a born-again Christian. That's a change. How would you handle it?Personally I look on that as cultist in nature. I'd call it a malevolent outside influence in such a case, which is obviously not what we're talking about.
I don't think I agree with this. There may be elements of your personality that don't change. But the purpose of your life or your priorities may change.In my experience only something as drastic as child-rearing can have such an effect. But even then, if a person's an irresponsible waste of oxygen before they have children, they'll usually mess up the kid in one way or another. Even having a kid isn't always enough to change someone.
Someone who's nagging in a relationship is usually arrogant in different areas of their life as well, and someone who's subservient in marriage is likewise also subservient in other areas.
Well I have seen the opposite in my experience. There are people who are charming at work, but bastards at home. Bing Crosby was supposed to have been like that.
People in leadership positions on the job or in the military being henpecked at home. It happens.
Okay, but people who are passionate about such pursuits don't just develop this passion overnight.
Yes they can. I know first hand.
Chances are, when I meet such a girl she'll be passionate about something else (apart from me that is )... like... Tae kwan do and so it won't be any large change if she tries something new, like ballroom dancing. People who engage in "hobbies" for want of a better word, well, they're that sort of persona. That sort of personality type. If that's what I fall in love with, so be it.
What sort of personality "type" engages in hobbies? You think only certain personalities have hobbies??? What personality "types" don't have hobbies?
Personally I look on that as cultist in nature. I'd call it a malevolent outside influence in such a case, which is obviously not what we're talking about.
You said: "A female who doesn't want to change herself or meself, is always welcome. I'm happy with who I am, if I like a girl it's because I'm happy with who she is, why change either?"
We are talking about what changes could occur. She may seem static and unchangeable but I am giving examples of things that may happen to challenge your comfortable (and unrealistic, imo) views.
NQ: But the purpose of your life or your priorities may change.
SA: In my experience only something as drastic as child-rearing can have such an effect. ...Even having a kid isn't always enough to change someone.
If someone experiences a crisis situation, you'll see how their priorities change.
http://www.gazeta.ru/2004/09/06/oa_132493.shtml)
I would say these families may not be so concerned about their (surviving) children attending school any more.
There are people who are charming at work, but bastards at home.Personally I've often marvelled at how willing most people are to see others as "nice". Erring on the side of thinking people "bastards" has saved me much disappointment in the past. But back to the point, I didn't say that it had to be OBVIOUS TO THE PUBLIC that nagging spouses are arrogant in other areas of their lives, they merely are. The charmer who stabs his or her co-workers in the back. The nagging wife who seems totally pleasant to her co-workers but drives like a maniac on the way home every night. Personality pervades all and WILL surface in one area or another.
People in leadership positions on the job or in the military being henpecked at home. It happens.Sorry but you have to be subservient to join the military at all. It's a job in which you're told what to do all the time, and all responsibility for any negative result is lifted from your shoulders. As for office work, why do you think that an office manager necessarily has to possess strength of personality? Most don't, in my opinion.
Yes they can. I know first hand.
Mmkay. Well unless you'd care to elaborate, I have to say "No they can't, I also know first hand." I'm a hobbyist. I've always been a hobbyist, and even when I've had no hobbies I've wanted to have a hobby. That's me. The core of me did not change when I had a hobby, nor when I had no hobby.
We are talking about what changes could occur. She may seem static and unchangeable but I am giving examples of things that may happen to challenge your comfortable (and unrealistic, imo) views.Mmkay, being absorbed by a cult is too extreme an example of "what changes could occur". You may as well have asked me "How would you deal with your spouse being turned into a cyborg by Shodan?" for all the relevance such a question has.
As for my views, I find them far from comfortable. It's a real downer when you realise that people are permanently trapped inside their own little world-views.
I would say these families may not be so concerned about their (surviving) children attending school any more.I think you quoted me saying the word "drastic" with regards to childbirth, didn't you? I think the loss of a child in such circumstances qualifies as EVEN MORE DRASTIC, don't you?
Frankly you're reaching for the most extreme outside stimulus available to try to make the point that people can be changed. Sure, people can be changed through INCREDIBLY drastic means, like brainwashing, interrogative torture, destructive brain surgery, cancerous tumours on the brain... Being turned into cyborgs by Shodan...
None of these things are the same as someone wanting to change their partner now, are they. And none of these things has any relevance to the topic at hand... Unless my girlfriend is secretly dosing me with Sodium Amytal at night and remoulding my subconcious with her sub-hypnotic wiles.
Damn, THAT'S what she's doing!
What sort of personality "type" engages in hobbies? You think only certain personalities have hobbies??? What personality "types" don't have hobbies?The personality type that has hobbies is commonly called "person with a predeliction for having hobbies." or more succinctly, "The hobbyist" :D Come on, even you can accept the basic fact that there are people who like to have interests on the go at all times, and there are those that don't. Hobbyist and non-hobbyist.
*cough* THIS is exactly why I didn't want to debate this with you. It deserves its own thread, because you guys are pulling this one off topic. :p
... what the flying **** is going on?!
*runs off mumbling swears under his mouth to get a mod to delete this crap*
I just wanted a survey of peoples ideal mates, not a debate on human psychological evolution.
Either you people get this thread back on track, or it gets pulled.
Now, you're free to discuss the human personality and its evolution (or lack thereof) in another thread, but this one is not it.
Either you people get this thread back on track, or it gets pulled.
C'jais, you and InsaneSith are sounding hostile. "you people"? Why would I be encouraged to come here and try to engage in discussion?
This thread's topic is "The Ideal Mate". InsaneSith said he wants to take a survey. Why can't a discussion also expand on the survey? It is still topical. I want to delve into why we set up those ideals for our partner. If you analyze why you are looking for what you are looking for in a mate, you may be able to avoid a bad marriage.
Originally posted by NileQueen
If you analyze why you are looking for what you are looking for in a mate, you may be able to avoid a bad marriage.
Yet that is obviously NOT the point of this thread. As 'Jais mentioned, if you want to hav this little debate then you go right ahead and make a thread about it. But if you want to post in this thread then you should be contributing to the SURVEY.
Personally, I think the survey dried up a bit and it was refreshing to see something other than the continual drivel about religion and politics.
Perhaps I'll split the thread later and create a topic that'll suit all parties... after my three year old gets out of my hair ;)
I would preffer some one smaller than me or eqill size as me!!
i preffer one with a simular wieght and hieght range as me! (i am 6 feet tall and wiegh 130 pounds!) she dont have to look perfect, but i like girls who respect their bodies and NEVER junk it up with tattoos, body peircings.
(tatoos and body peircing and other forms of self mutilation makes me sick)
she shold not be snobbish or power hungry. i like nice people. she should like violent video games and other crazy stuff . like me!
Well, for my ideal girl, she must have a good heart, and not look like a monster. ;) I'm not bothered about the height, but not to the extent where I have to look down at my feet to talk to her, or look up to the sky. Also, I like tanned and athletic women more. :p
I odn't really know what my ideal mate is like, i havn't found her yet. But she would have to have a goods sense of humor, be nice, wait a really really long time for kids, being able to put up with me, have the same beliefs and like some of the same things.But other than that it's up in the air.
I odn't really know what my ideal mate is like, i havn't found her yet. But she would have to have a goods sense of humor, be nice, wait a really really long time for kids, being able to put up with me, have the same beliefs and like some of the same things.But other than that it's up in the air.
I agree!
well I never really wanted this to become a discussion/debate on human psychology.
my ideal mate.
I look for a person who is intelligent and caring. I want someone with a sense of humour.
someone beautiful (which by my standards, isn't very selective). Someone who can make me happy just being there.
Someone willing to take the time to understand situations and peoples feelings. Someone with similiar interests, but enough different ones to help me explore new things.
someone who likes to talk about all kinds of things and can switch from one subject to another quickly and not fumble. Someone willing to compromise for a relationship just as much as me.
Someone who can be rational, yet human at the same time.
for a woman, I'd like a girl a bit shorter than me ( I like to feel like I'm needed for more than just procreation and making her... feel good ;) ), but a woman that can take care of herself when she needs to. B-cups for the win.
a guy... a bit bigger than me, kinda protective-ish. one that can make me feel comfortable and safe.
Well good luck with finding such people I.S.
What kind of Ideal Mate will you be? If you want an ideal situation, you will have to be more flexible than you've demonstrated here.
It's not about controlling others.
Fury with a good sense of humour.
Originally posted by iamtrip
Fury with a good sense of humour.
Oooh, you like an old fashioned backwater woman, huh? ;)