Yes, that's right. Time to break open this new message board with a kind of topic that's plauged many message boards- a let's make a story topic. Let's try and keep it in the Star Wars universe, folks- first person to end the story loses. Allow me to begin.
A long time ago in a galaxy fart (oops), far away...
Jar Jar roamed the Naboo swamps, looking for some 'brisky mornin' munchen' when suddenly he heard a KABLAMMO overhead. He ducked, and saw a TIE Fighter hurtle to the ground and explode in a giant fireball. An X-Wing swooped from above the tree tops back into space. And then the TIE's pilot fell to the ground, after apparently ejecting from the TIE.
Jar Jar asked, "Whosa is YOUSA?" The TIE pilot just continued on his way. Jar Jar followed. "Whosa is yousa? Where yousa goin?!" he asked. The TIE pilot turned around and gave Jar Jar a nasty punch in the forehead.
And I'll leave it at that EXCITING CLIFFHANGER until someone thinks of something.
Jar Jar was knocked out by the blow, and when he awoke.......
He was in Death Star III!!!!
Hid incredible cluztiness caused him to destroy the main reactor, just by getting close to it.........
... so he had to escape. He made his way to the hangar, where he could steal a shuttle and get out of here... but then he remembered something: he doesn't know how to operate a ship! What will he do??
but then the ship was propelled out of the hanger by the explotion and Jar Jar found himself on Tatooine! Then he heard a voice behind him. " who are you" and turned to see......
Captain Picard! (How's THIS for a turn of events?) :D
It was non other than the Grim Reeper. He said that Jar-Jar should have died on the ship, but he wouldn't survive this.....
Captian Picard Dressed up as the Grim Reaper!
"Want some Earl Gray?"
Actually, it was the Grim Reeper dressed up as Captain Picard who was dressed up like the Grim Reeper. Then, he touvh Jar Jar with his icy had of death, but.........
But, ironicly, Death had a heart attack and died
Jar Jar wandered a bit more in the desert before meeting some Jawas. They harrassed him to buy...
And Jar Jar said " Mesa no wanten a car!" But the Jawas sold it to him anyway and he then drove to....
the center of a fierce ground war between the Rebels and the Empire
A shot smashed the rear end of his car and flung him onto the ground. Then.......
He got beamed onto a Borg ship.
"You will be assimilated".....
Then, he woke up. It was all a dream....or was it. He got out of bed and went outside.....
*ooc*A dream how lame*ooc*
and he saw a whole regiment of Storm Troopers with Rail Guns pointed at him he reached into his pocket.....
The, he woke up...again. He had dreampt he was dreaming. He was sitting in a strange chair on the Borg ship with Everyone looking over him. One of them pushed a button.....
"Thank you for pressing the self destruction button, this ship will self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,......."
Nothing happened......."Just Kidding" said the countdown voice. Boom, the ship explodes into a million pieces.......
But Jar Jar was just beamed out of the ship onto the Enterprise facing the real Cpt. Picard.
"Who are you?" the captain said.
...
..."Meesa Ja- JA binkz" he said. What are you doing on my ship?" asked the captain...
"Hello, meesa Ja- JA binkz" He said, "You've said that already" Said the captain. "Hello, meesa Ja- JA binkz", "Will you stop that!" said the captain. "Hello, meesa Ja- JA binkz", "I order you to stop it!" said the captain. "Hello, meesa Ja- JA binkz", "STOPIT STOPIT STOPIT!!!!!!" said the captain. "Hello, meesa Ja- JA binkz." Everyone on board runs to the escape pods and leaves the ship. Jar Jar is left standing in the bridge....alone......
with Worf who offered him a glass of bllod wine. Jaar Jaar tasted it and
got Jar Jar really drunk and he said "Meesa gonna go sleep with your wife!" And strolled off
"But she got killed...." Worf responded
But Jar-Jar acidentally walked on to the beaning platform and he was instantly beemed to.....
The Forest Moon of Endor and surrounded by :ewok: and taken to thier BBQ pit...
But he talked so much on the way that even the Ewoks got really annoyed and they rann off, but they never untied him......
....All of the sudden Jar Jar's father shows up. "Ja JA meesa bein yoursa fadda" he said....
"Butta i'm so shama of yousa isa goin to leava yousa alonae" So he left. But a Yuuzhan Vong Warrior happened to come by.....
...who was all of a sudden chopped down by a young jedi, who cut Jar Jar loose and left. Jar Jar hopped in one of the Ewoks flyung thingies and.....
Jumped off a cliff but there was a...
... loud sound as he jumped after one of the ropes broke on the flying thingy. He started to fall towards the harsh ground, but just as he neared death once again ....
he landed on the TIE fighter of the TIE pilot in the story. He was carried up into a star destroyer and then met...
C-3PO who was the captain of that ship (how that happened is another wacky story)
"Hello sir, I am C-3PO Human-Cyborg relations and ..."
"Mesa Jar Jar Binks, people call me Jar Jar Binks"
"Oh dear ... another lunatic. Where is R2 when I need hime"
Around that time R2 enters the bridge
...
And R2D2 beeps "bweepbwoo"And C3PO says "This is Jar Jar Binks" and R2D2 beeps "dwoopbweepooo" and C3PO says "no R2 i don't think he's smart". And R2 leaves the room. Jar Jar says "Wut was hesa sayin!" C3PO says "Nevermind. Let's get you an escape pod. Come along. C3PO takes Jar Jar to an escape pod and jettisons him. Then he sees X wings going to blow up the Star Destroyer. His pod lands on one of the X wings, killing the pilot. Jar Jar looks at the pilot and it is....
... Biggs Darklighter, who was brought back to life thanks to the Empire's new deadly weapon, "The Life Giver" and given the task of destroying his friends (only because the Empire couldn't think of anything else).
Jar-Jar throws the dead (again) body out and jumps into the X-Wing, but before he could react ...
A laser bolt peirces his shoulder, he hears some people say "That was Gar-Gar Binks wasn't it? Oh what the hell!"
he turns to see his father in a TIE fighter trying to kill him! so he jumps into the Xwing and flies away and turn behing his father to line up a good shot and fires. but insted of hitting his father he hits.....
Richard Simmons!
*ooc*You can tell I really don't like him*ooc*
...the thermal exhaust port of the Death Star space station!
...the explosion of which is comparable to a supernova.
Will Jar Jar survive? Find out next week on "Why Didn't The Gungan Get His Medal?" or "Moto Grandee Icky Goo"!
Jar Jar lands by his Naboo swamp hut, when he sees the corpse of Richard Simmons. Jar Jar pokes the corpse with a stick, and it sits up. Richard's eyes roll into the back of his head. He stands up, and then he... BREAKS INTO SONG!:eek: Jar Jar covers his big floppy ears and rolls on the ground in pain.
....Jar Jar's ear infection had gotten worse since he left endor....He knew that there was only one thing left to do....
Infect as many people as he could!
Unfortunitly he was mysteriously cured by a hooded stranger, this stranger lifted his hood and it was....
Darth Sidious! "You will help me destroy the Jedi, Jar Jar Binks..." he ordered menacingly...