Here is my metroid stroy tell me what you think


Chapter One

Station Ocean Pebble stood far from life. They were a mere outpost. Just pick up anything unusual, then report it was their job. Though small it was very luxurious. Many species went there to stay for a while then move on. Around it was from small one man ships to the usual Freighters that was best for independent people. Inside trades went up as for discussions of hidden treasure, almost impossible battles, or how they tripped on the loose step in the entrance. If there was a pilot for the heart to trade, this was the place to be. It was kept clean enough for a livable status.
“Unidentified Cruiser please state your business.” Requested a officer at the table looking at the screen.
No response except for plasma blast straight at the station. It fired again sending officers out of their seats as the entire station shook. A fleet entered and opened fire. Peddle station began to fire back at the cruiser, yet no effect. The merchants and visitors ran back to their ships to flee. The station and lost primary weapon systems and secondary was ready to fall. The escape pods began leaving but a herd of fighters which was dispatched from the cruiser destroyed them all with ease. It was hopeless and they surrendered. A picture of a high ranked space pirate was displayed. “This is Admiral Jorku of the Temple. Prepare yourself for a boarding party. Within minuets the whole boarding had entered the station. They began to take goods, food, and artifacts. Anything with value they took. They entered the central room of the station. “Admiral’s orders.” Stated the soilder and opened fire on the crew. One officer was able to send out a distress beacon. It finished with a beep which was followed by a blaster’s beam hitting the flesh of the officer. “Set the charges.” Ordered Jorku with a motion of his finger to the screen which showed a soldier looking at his arm radio.

A beep sounded through out the small gunship. Samus Aran was the proud owner of the small ship. Though it was small it was reliable. Samus walked towards the console and within a few seconds a holographic screen appeared. A voice from the computer sounded throughout the ship “Landing sequence ready for approach to Gerdag II.” Samus then grabbed the navigation handle and began to lead the craft to the planet. Here I come you coward. She grinned at the fact that her pray was so helpless but the thought was ended when the ship began to shake. The gunship landed and Samus was already at the hatch. The hatch opened and Samus jumped out, this was here little favorite thing to do when leaving her ship. She had received the message and manage to cut off one of the fighters and intercept it. She quickly checked her surroundings. The Planet was a desert and in the far distance she could see the landed Pirate fighter. She was chasing it for some time. She set foot for here pray at once.
“What is your status?” ordered a Pirate on the comm.. computer of the fighter. “Not good I have the hunter is on my tail and I landed. I think she is on the planet now.” Responded the pilot as he looked behind him.
“Get out of the planet after a minute and scan for her ship then destroy it.” The pirates face on the communications computer was no doubt angry even with the fact it looked nothing like a human face.
“Yes sir.”
“Good, Kekar out.” The picture of the Pirate vanished in a blink of an eye. The pirate looked around and saw nothing but the fear still grew in him.
“Gotta keep moving!” Samus ran as fast as the suit’s enhancements allowed her too. She stopped and in a simple hand movement the display of the visor changed. She zoomed in on the target who was walking around his ship nervously. She then switched back to her standard visor mode. Looking around her she felt as if the pirate and her were the only ones around. She then saw the ship picking up and she responded by pressing a few buttons on her arm cannon and then her craft began to head towards her. She ran to the ship but was stopped by an explosion. She saw the gunship fall to the ground in flames. She looked up to see the same fighter, here pray, leaving the poor bounty hunter stranded. She screamed in fustration. She then started to walk in the direction she was facing with dispair.
“Sir, I think I got her. The ship was ready to lift off and well you know the rest.” Said the pilot to the Pirate on the com computer. “Good come back to base on fighter bay 3.” Responded Kakar and then the picture again vanished. The fighter headed towards a blank part of space when a whole station decloaked. The station was only 3 systems away from Gerdag II. A bay opened up and the fighter enetered. The bay was long and filled with a massive armada of fighters. The station then decloaked and the view of a blank part in space returned.
Samus was beginning to think she was dead and her efforts were hopeless. “Great, all this fighting, exploring, saving cultures just to die on a desert world.” She said to herself. She once again switched the display on her visor and scanned the area. A beep sounded in the visor and in a simple movement a lock came upon the ground. It began to scan the floor and a readout was displayed. “Crater, 40 feet depth, 86 miles across. No alternative route.” The message disappeared and returned to the standard visor. Samus continued her journey yet her eyes skipped across the endless lands of sand, heat, and death.
Pirates ran through the corridor. Kakar greeted the fighter pilot that destroyed Samus’s gunship. “Very great work. We are wondering if you would be interested in a other project.”
Dalorg, the pilot responded after a brief moment “Whats the project?”
“You’ll see.” Kakar smiled and led him to the labs. Two months later screams which echoed for what seemed an enternity for the other pirates who stood in front of the lab’s doors ended. The door opened and what was the pilot was more of a cyborg then a insect like monster. “Unit Hunter Killer Alpha ready for orders.” Stated the machine. “We’ve been waiting for this moment ever since the first encounter of the hunter, you’re the best of the best, now…… your complete, superb, perfect” a grin grew on Kakar, then he walked down the hallway.

Pretty good so far. Can't wait to see how the rest of the story unfolds. :D

I finished Chapter 2 :D


Chapter Two

Two months ago….
“The yellow roads of Texas…” Samus mumbled the song to herself
while walking down the pit. She had reached the bottom and looked around. She found nothing and sat for a moment. A alerting beep sounded through her helmet. She began to run out the pit as a large creature extended from it. Samus got out and took three moments to look at her foe. She then released a missle and dashed around the creature. The creature hit her with it enormous warmish body. Samus flew into the air and made contact with the ground. She then opened fire with her arm cannon, yet with no effect Samus ran for the other side. Using all the power and strength she had, she leaped up into the air and reached the other side. The creature released a goo onto her which heavy, bringing her to her knees. She struggled to get the goo off. She then released four missle into the creature. The worm gave a high pitched scream as the missles met its target. She looked behind her shoulder as she saw the worm heading for her. “Damn it!” She said to herself as she fired yet another four missles to the worm. The first three hit its body and the fourth struck the head. It paused then fell to the ground, shaking the planet. Samus then turned and started her journey.

After two months has passed she reaches the mountains. She exhaled with relief. She began climbing it determined to find anything. She had reached the top only to find dozens and dozens of pits surrounding her position. She then searched for shelter.

“ Jorku the process is completed.” Stated Kakar with excitement in his voice and eyes. “ Well, what do you want from me?” Said Jorku in his chair looking at the screen of space. Kakar starred at him for a moment then spoke “ Well what should we do with it?” “Began the combat training, put it on high difficulty, use the advance combat.” Answered Jorku. “Noted sir.” Kakar left and walked to the test labs. The doors opened to a darken room with scientist working on the HK. “Get it ready for training.” With that Kakar left.

The caves of the mountains that Samus had found were almost like that of a maze’s passages. This was no trouble to Samus since she could just easily scan the caves. She walked deeper into the cave. “Nothing but a empty cave.” She cursed her luck. When she got out she heard a loud rumble. She then turn expecting a worm yet saw a garbage ship. It was then she remembered that Gerdag II was a garbage dump. The garbage must have act like food for these creatures she thought to herself. She shot a flare from her arm cannon which made the ship lower to pick her up. Two minuets later Samus was aboard the ship. Itr was dirty with filth at every corner. “ Samus Aran, the famous bounty hunter.” Said a man who looked as if he was the captain of the ship. “Yes, Thanks for getting me out of there.” She thanked the captain. “No problem, you look tired let me show you to our quarters.” Said the captian as he made a motion of his hand and then the officers then lead her to the quarters. “We’ll arrive at Grace Station in a few weeks.” He sounded surprised to see her. The door closed and in a few moments Samus’ whole suit had left her body. She sat at a desk and looked around. The ship reeked of the horrible stench of garbage. The ship had a brick red tint to it. She looked at the bed which seemed the only decent thing around. She laid in it and her eyes closed.

The HK moved with amazing speed as it destroyed the flying targets. It had been armed with the most latest of ground battle technology and armed with some of the most illegal weaponry. “Began the final test.” Kakar ordered. A holographic display of Samus came to life. The HK entered a fierce battle with the hologram. It moved faster then the hologram and was stronger. After fourty-five minuets. The HK defeated it’s opponent. “Impressive. Shame she is dead now, yet nothing will stand in its way.” Kakar laughed with joy at the power of the HK. Kakar pressed a button in the panel in front of him. The navigation officer was displayed “Yes sir?”
“Send the fleet of Zebesian Cruisers to the Hector system, tell them to start destroy any stations. If they meet a primary station send the HK.” Kakar smiled looking up at the HK.
“Yes sir.” The portrait disappeared.
Kakar left the Training room and roamed the station.

Samus woke up when she felt a shaking feeling. She had gotten her suit on yet held the helmet in her arm. “Are we here?” Asked Samus to a officer walking down the quarters hallway. “Yea, we just finish docking.” Answered the officer. Samus walked to the docking port where she met the captain. “Oh hello Samus. I believe I forgot to introduce myself, I’m Deckard Rasedower.” Samus shaked his hand. They talked as they entered the station.