NEW WORDS FOR 2002 -
Essential additions for
the workplace vocabulary:

BLAMESTORMING:
Sitting around in a group,
discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed,
and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER:
A manager who flies in,
makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything
and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS:
The process by which
some people seem to absorb
success and advancement
by kissing up to the boss
rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY:
The experience
of spending an entire day
swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM:
An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING:
When someone yells
or drops something loudly
in a cube farm, and people's
heads pop up over the walls
to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO:
The on-line answer
to the couch potato.

SITCOM:
Single Income,
Two Children,
Oppressive Mortgage.
What yuppies turn into
when they have children
and one of them stops working
to stay home with the kids.

STARTER MARRIAGE:
A short-lived
first marriage
that ends in divorce
with no kids,
no property
and no regrets.

STRESS PUPPY:
A person who seems
to thrive on being
stressed out and whiny.

SWIPEOUT:
An ATM or credit card
that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip
is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY:
Euphemism for swiping free
photocopies from one's workplace.

IRRITAINMENT:
Entertainment and media spectacles
that are annoying but you find
yourself unable to stop watching them.
ie:
The O.J. trial
Bill Clinton's Grand Jury testimony


PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE:
The fine art of whacking the ****
out of an electronic device
to get it to work again.

VULCAN NERVE PINCH:
The taxing hand position
required to reach all the appropriate
keys for some computer commands.

ADMINISPHERE:
The rarefied organizational layers
beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate
or irrelevant to the problems
they were designed to solve.

404:
Someone who's clueless.
From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found,"
meaning that the requested document
could not be located.

GENERICA:
Features of the American landscape
that are exactly the same
no matter where one is,
such as fast food joints,
strip malls,
subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND:
That minuscule fraction of time
in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS:
Well Off Older Folks

FISHERMEN
Managers who randomly pick an employee for anything others dislike.

SLACKS
People who pretend to work but really aren't.

MINOR DOCKERS
Low-salary employees.

WACK
Salary.

HIGH LIVERS
High-salary employees.

LOCKER UPPER
A stiff janitor who can stop a conversation cold.

PIDGEON
An employee.

PIDGEON SHOOTER
Director of Human Resources.

STAMPEDE
When thousands of employees all rush out of the building at the end of the day at once.

NOT NOW NINNY
Someone who has information you want but won't give it to you no matter what.

GULL
Like a pidgeon, but paid more.

SEAGULL
A gull that leaves the building once every few minutes.

DART HUNTER
Someone who hides behind corners just to jump out and scare you.

LOO LOVER
An executive that comes to meetings late with the excuse of 'going to the toilet'.

BLUE WHALE
A fat person.

BITING GOATS
Like dart hunters, but instead of scaring you they bite you.

CUBE FARMERS
Managers who move people from cubicle to cubicle with no reasons.

SINKER SWIMMERS
Foolish optimists who gamble everything and always lose.

ANTIFILER
Cops who pick on old ladies

The phrase, "IDIOT IN THE SUN."
A stupid person everyone labels a genius. i.e. George W. Bush and every poser punk band out there getting money

The phrase, "GENIUS IN THE DIRT."
A genius everyone labels as a stupid person. i.e. me and the bands Dimmu Borgir, Cradle of Filth, and most of all Therion.

KILOFOOT
A person with such a long body he streches from the U.S. all the way across the Atlantic Ocean to Europe

PURRTERGIST
My dead cat I can hear purring and grooming itself as I go to sleep. Its really freaky.

The phrase "MAD BRILLIANCE"
I thought of this word while reading Edgar Allan Poe's biography. He was brilliant, but he had some problems. It basically mean Dementia.