Okay, as a counterpoint to all the serious topics being posted, how about we all post some good jokes we've heard in this thread? I mean sure, I've heard all the crap about the Jedi being of the most serious mind, and blah blah blah, but hey, Jedis need to laugh too.
Great, all go first:
So this lady wins $100 million PowerBall jackpot one day. The first thing she does is call her husband and squeals, "I just won PowerBall! You've got to come home!"
The husband rushes home, runs into the bedroom to find his wife frantically packing his clothes in a suit case. "Give me a hand here. We've got to hurry!".
Thoughts of exotic vactions dance through his imagination. But not knowing where they're going he blurts out, "What should I pack? A swim suit? Ski clothes? Safari gear? What?"
Exasperated, the wife screams, "I don't care what you pack, just get the hell out of here!"
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VagabondNomad on the Zone...
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players...
[This message has been edited by Vagabond (edited April 03, 2000).]
<font size=8 color=red>DO NOT READ IF YOU FIND JOKES RELATING TO THE CHALLENGER INCIDENT OFFENSIVE</font>
Don't rant on me, I gave you a fair warning.
There was a teacher aboard the Challenger Spacecraft when it exploded.
Let us have a moment of silence for those brave men and women............
Do you know what the teacher said to her husband before she went to the launch?
You feed the dogs honey, and I'll feed the fish.
Do you know where she went on vacation?
All over Florida.
You know her eyes were blew right?
One blew over there, and one blew over there.
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Don't be sorry, be yourself.
[This message has been edited by psyduck78 (edited April 03, 2000).]
Courtesy of TAF,
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"
"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."
"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong.
How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
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VagabondNomad on the Zone...
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players...