It seems that there have been a lot of "list" topics lately. Here's my effort. Feel free to add to it.
1) I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of
suspicion and paranoia.
2)In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
3)I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself. Unless, of
course, I want to stay employed.
4)I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious,
self-righteous people around me.
5)Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with
imaginary fears.
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Never Pet a Burning Dog.
6)I think McDonald's shamrock shakes should be served all year.
7)Small, furry animals are cute, but they have a carefully hidden agenda.
8)Getting wasted and killing things might make one a bad person, or it might not.
9)Everytime I take a step, I am making a very short orbital trajectory.