Well I had hoped to release this when it was ready, but since it's Revan vs. everything, I just had to throw it out. This is to be a short Fic that will only be about four or five chapters long. This is to examine the way Revan felt when he was told who he really was. Enjoy!
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As we neared the Ebon Hawk, I came to realize just how far I've come when it came to killing people. As a scout in the Republic army, I have killed from time to time; but more enemies have fallen in the last half hour than in all those years before the Jedi found me. It was strange that in all those years of sneak attacks and sniper shots I’ve taken that I found myself going head on against swarms of heavily armed soldiers and rushing to take them all down before progressing to the next compartment.
Before nearly being killed by a stray blaster shot in the midst of a dual against a Sith wielding two lightsabers, I realized that I had almost thought myself invincible. Fortunately Bastila had watched my back and safeguarded my life, but then attempted to make another lecture when there was a pause in the fighting. Although I’ve come to accept that was the way she was, she had to know when it wasn't the time. She should have known that if that blaster bolt weren’t enough, then another lecture certainly wouldn’t have made a difference to me.
Clearly I wasn't immortal and still needed to remember that. Although we had every expectation to break through whatever forces stood between us and the Ebon Hawk, the objective was not defeating every enemy that stood in our way; it was reaching the ship alive. Although Carth could take care of himself, I was more worried about him than myself. If he were in danger, it was up to Bastila and I to protect him. Although he proved invaluable to guiding us through the ship, we had to not only worry about ourselves; but coordinate our advances around him. Two Jedi could go up against almost any defense, but fighting with a non-Force sensitive proved to be a major handicap.
Carth was a friend and although I admired his spirit, I would have preferred that he not get mixed in with us Jedi. It’s easy enough to stay alive in a fire fight if you’re a Jedi, but when you’re protecting someone; that increases the difficulty of the job that much more. You don’t know what your enemy will do, but with escorting, you introduce another element to the battle that you can’t control. Another blaster was nice, but the additional body to protect was much more trouble than worth.
Of course Carth started foolishly advancing ahead of us, forcing me to jump between him and the blaster shots. I didn’t know what Saul told him, but I could tell he was enraged just by the way he fought. That might have been painfully obvious, but when a man becomes more interested in dealing out punishment than avoiding it; he doesn’t simply endanger himself, but those who don’t want him to die.
“You fool! Get behind us!” I shouted.
Carth frowned at me, but did as he was told. After the last enemy had fallen, he grabbed her by the shoulder. “Bastila...!”
“Not now!” she commanded.
I couldn’t deal with a personal issue at that moment, and I figured that Carth had been ‘kept out of the loop’ too many times. “Spill it out! No one cares about your Jedi secrets!” I got directly in front of her and grabbed her by the collar. “What the hell is going on?!”
I saw great fear in her eyes, but not because of me. “Malak...” Just then, the hatch leading to the compartment between us and the hanger unlatched and slid open. Although I only saw more armed guards, I knew who stood behind them.
I almost instinctively brought my lightsaber to my hand with the Force, shien-styled. That was not my standard technique, but it was the best style I knew when testing opponents. Shien was terrible for attacking, but that was the tradeoff for good defense. With a saberstaff, the longer hilt was excellent because it allowed me to leverage a single blade with my entire tricept instead of just my wrist.
Whatever form I chose, I was the one who fell into the sights of their blasters. When the volley came, I deflected as many of the bolts back to them as I could. When the last two guards stopped firing, knowing that I was just going to deflect them back, they suddenly were flung at us... they had been thrown at us by the very master they had sworn themselves to.
After I and Bastila dodged the soldiers, they fatally impacted the bulkhead behind us. The gruesome sound of their armour deforming into their flesh combined with the snapping of bones and screams all were routine to me, but I was more intimidated because it was Malak who used his own troops as projectiles against us.
When I finally got sight of the Dark Lord, I had to admit that he was more fearsome than I had ever imagined. When he muttered over his electronic voice “Why do I surround myself with incompetent cowards?”
Bastila stepped in front of me and addressed him. “Darth Malak.”
Carth raised his rifle and opened fire. “Die, you bastard!” Malak’s lightsaber activated in mid air, deflecting the first bolt before he took hold of it in his hand and deflected the second two bolts; none were reflected back at Carth. Before he fired another volley, he was thrown back and impacted the wall. It wasn’t fatal, but he was knocked out.
When Malak turned his gaze upon me and Bastila in front, he laughed out loud on that horrid voice box of his. It wasn’t the kind of maniacal laugh that most villains in dramas often let out, but more like one that signified victory. The bastard assumed that he had already beaten us! “I hope you weren’t intending to leave so soon, Bastila. I’ve had to step over billions of rotting corpses to capture you. I was infuriated when I learned that you escaped Taris alive, but I see that fate decreed that I deserved something much greater.” He crossed his arms and stepped up to Bastila... within striking distance of her lightsaber. Despite deactivating his own weapon, Bastila was too afraid to strike. He knew it and he looked over her head at me. “Tell me, Bastila... does he know?”
“Know what? What is he talking about?” I asked.
Malak laughed again and turned his back to us while he paced a few steps away. I felt the urge to strike at him while his back was turned, but I was just as afraid as Bastila. Only two types of Sith showed their backs to enemies, those who were foolish and those who were so powerful that they don’t need to be concerned with anyone foolish enough to try and strike them. He wanted to show just how strong he was.
When he turned back to face us, he glared at me. “Oh Revan, how small you’ve become.”
Bastila kept her lightsaber raised at Malak, but she turned her head just enough to keep both me and Malak in the same field of view. It was that small gesture of hers that I think terrified me most. I didn’t know why, but when I heard the name of the Dark Lord come from his mouth, it was not what made my stomach churn; it was when Bastila reacted.
“What?” I responded.
Malak chuckled over his voice box. “Yes, I must say I hardly recognized you. I didn’t think the Jedi had the gaul to try something like that... and I wouldn’t have imagined you to be so weak as to become their slave.”
I shook my head. “No... I don’t believe... I can’t be... Darth Revan?!”
He laughed on. “The Jedi are more cunning than I ever gave you credit for!” He turned his attention to Bastila. “Does he remember anything?”
Bastila looked me in the eye. No words were spoken, but I saw so much in her expression that I couldn’t comprehend it all. Among the guilt, fear, and concern, she still was adamant to reveal the truth.
I was almost too afraid to pose the question. I just uttered her name. “Bastila?”
“It’s true.” A long moment after that, she resumed. “When Malak fired upon your bridge, you were badly injured. I used the Force to preserve the flicker of life within your body, but your mind was severely damaged. There was no way to save you.”
“She lies, Revan.” Malak corrected. “Where do you think your other memories came from? The Jedi could not have altered a damaged brain. They could have restored your mind, but instead created a new identity for you... they made you their puppet and Bastila was the one pulling your strings.”
As Malak spoke, Carth slowly regained consciousness. As he reached his feet, I could tell that he knew what was happening. Malak didn’t look back to him, but I was sure he didn’t consider Carth to be a threat. When he extended his arm to grab his weapon, I gently shook my head and he did as I silently instructed.
I didn’t want to admit it, but the reason I shook my head was because it would have been the spark that ignited the impending fight. I knew that if Carth attacked Malak again... I wasn’t ready to fight... I could barely hold my lightsaber.
While Bastila tried to reassure me that her intent was to help me, but I was just so stunned by what I heard that she drifted from my attention. Then Malak and the Leviathan all seemed to fade out of existence from my mind.
----
Darth Revan... how? I knew it was true, but that was not what was going through my mind. My own name, Alex Trevelyan. Was it all a lie? My friends, family, my entire life... it was all a lie. Was I even a person? How could I if I never lived a real life?
Why did I have visions of the Star Maps? There was no reason for me, Alex Trevelyan, to know where to look for the artifacts. Revan, on the other hand, had located every single one once before. Those ‘visions’ were memories, actual memories, Revan’s memories... not mine.
That time when I was very young, I pulled on the head tail of a Twi’lek girl... I was charged with sexual harassment, but got a reduced fine because I was just a child. I never realized the severity of what I did, but it was something I’ve regretted ever since. That girl, Nenya Kaplin... she graduated with my class, but I had no other memories of her... at all. All my memories before Taris... something was strangely lacking about my life since the last few months.
My parents... I haven’t spoken to them in the last year. I didn’t even know how to contact them... I haven’t been in contact with anyone I knew since Taris. None of them were there... they were just characters of fiction. Everyone I knew... it’s like they were all dead. Except it was worse than that; they simply never existed!
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I felt as though my mind were having a civil war with itself as two personalities fought for supremacy over one mind, but something was wrong... it wasn’t like a flood of memories from Revan’s life had been invading my mind. It was like the foundation of everything that supported my own beliefs began collapsing from under my feet.
Memories I’ve gained started to make more sense. Master Vrook had spoke of things about Revan that just didn’t sound right. Vrook became critical of Master Vandar because he almost revealed too much about when the bond formed between me and Bastila. That’s why they lied!
Bastila never lied, but she never directly told me the truth before. Whenever the subject of Revan came up, she had always been afraid to saying too much. Whenever I wondered something that could be explained because I was Revan... she knew, but feared when I asked too much about the Dark Lord... about who I was. She always only told the truth to a point... a lie consisting of only half the truth was among the darkest of lies!
Why I learned to use the Force so quickly... much of it came naturally to me. I wondered how I learned techniques that I thought would have taken years to master. That was strange to consider, but I could remember how long it took to develop similar skills in the past and knew that there would have been no way to do something by instinct without mastering the principles first.
As the battle within my head raged on, I began to receive strange glimpses of... something. I had become so mixed up that I felt that everything I’d ever known had just become a mess of pieces from two lives and I couldn’t tell what was real. If I acted in the real world based on information that’s not real, then the results were impossible to foresee. Any ideas or thoughts that were based on faulty assumptions couldn’t be trusted... how could I trust anything anymore when everything I ever knew was a lie?!
Somehow, through all the chaos, something came to me that I knew I could trust. All the memories I’ve lived since Taris were genuine... free of imperfections. Whatever little I’ve lived in those few months, they were all I had to cling to when everything else fell apart. And for some reason, focusing on those memories helped me to disrupt the war that had been going on in my head. I couldn’t believe everything that had gone through my mind in so little time, but I somehow managed to cling to my sanity for a little longer.
Bastila had been speaking at the time when I came to, but I didn’t exactly ‘come to.’ I felt that my mind had been impaired, similar to the way it felt to be drunk. I felt so much raw emotion and anger flowing through me that I didn’t care what happened... I had to destroy both of them. I slapped Bastila, knocking her to the deck. “You used me! You’re no better than the Sith! Damn you!” When I heard that retched laugh of Malak’s, I turned around. “Damn both of you!”
He activated his lightsaber. “Maybe there is more of your old self in you than I expected, Revan. Perhaps you’re too powerful to control... besides, I only need one of you alive.”
I didn’t know what could have entered my head at that moment, but it suddenly hit me that it was the perfect opportunity for me to kill both of them. Bastila had been right behind me and I could have struck her down in an instant, surprising Malak, and then a quick reversal would have allowed me to plunge my saber into his miserable body.
I must have been mad, as I couldn’t have envisioned either myself or Revan doing something so evil and foolish at the same time. I guess that when you tried to mix two personalities together, especially a Sith and a Jedi’s, there would be some very ‘volatile’ reactions.
When I activated my saberstaff, Bastila knew what I intended to do. “Revan!” she screamed, although her eyes were directed at Malak.
It seemed that Malak also knew what I intended to do. Before he could strike me down, Carth had grabbed his weapon and fired several shots. Instead of delivering his final blow, Malak turned to deflect the blaster bolts.
Under normal circumstances, I might have acted fast enough to strike at Malak; but I felt my mind start to slip away again. While that happened, I felt the impact of a Force wave that came from Bastila. When I landed on the opposite side of the room, she shouted, “Get him out of here! I’ll hold Malak off!”
Carth moved to check if I were alright, but when he saw the hatch that stood between us and Bastila begin to close, he sprinted to catch it before it closed. “Bastila... no!” Despite his effort to unlock the hatch, he bashed the control panel in anger. “It’s sealed! Dammit!” I slowly tried to stand, but only managed to reach my knees before Carth came back and pulled me up the rest of the way. With my arm over his shoulder, he commanded “Come on, toughen it up! We need to get out of here!”
“Bastila... we can’t leave her...”
“Bastila sacrificed herself so we could escape! We need to get to the Ebon Hawk! Come on, move!” He shouted.
------
After a nearly flawless escape, it had been Carth who dragged me the rest of the way to the Ebon Hawk. Once at the top of the boarding ramp, he transferred my arm to Juhani’s shoulder.
“Where’s Bastila?” she asked.
“She’s not coming.” Carth answered and rushed directly to the pilot compartment.
I heard Canderous’ voice. “The Hawk’s prepped for launch. She’s all yours.” A few seconds later, he ran past us. “Come on, we need someone to man the top turret.”
Juhani, still shocked at the news about Bastila, started guided me to one of the seats in the central compartment. “I’ll take care of it.”
“I’m alright. Please get on the guns.” I whispered as I gently pushed her away.
She reluctantly did as she was told, but I could tell she was worried about me. For some reason, I felt much better since I got aboard the ship. Although we were still in danger, I felt safe again and more able to cope with what had just happened. I felt guilty knowing that as we moved away from danger, Bastila was left in the hands of Malak. I also couldn’t shake the feeling at how close I came to killing her with my own lightsaber. I just couldn’t believe I even... considered it.
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As the ship was subjected to laser fire from enemy fighters, the jerking to and fro didn’t seem to affect me. In the first attack made by enemy fighters, the impacts upon the ship’s shields became more gut-wrenching as the battle endured. This time, I just didn’t worry that the ship might have been disabled and recaptured by the Leviathan.
When I felt the ship go into hyperdrive, I heard the others report their status to Carth. I was alone in the central compartment, but I was intercepted by Juhani when I tried to take refuge in one of the crew quarters.
She genuinely seemed concerned for me... at least the one she thought I was. “Alec? Alec, what happened?”
I looked into her eyes, remembering all those times when my respect meant so much to her. I just couldn’t bear the thought of telling her who I really was and that I was the very evil that she sought to defeat all her life.
Before I could answer her, I just realized that two others weren’t there. “Where’s Mission?”
“She was injured on our way out...” When assumed the worst, she told me her status. “...she’s alright. Zalbar is with her in the medical compartment.”
Without another word, I went directly there. Canderous moved aside when I went by, almost as though he knew I were the Dark Lord already. Juhani continued shadowing me, knowing that I was troubled, but patiently waited for me to actually address her.
Mission had been on the medical bed with Zalbar standing in my way. He had not been treating her at that instant, but I pushed him aside with no regard that I might have disrupted a delicate surgery. The young Twi’lek had a deep wound under her rib cage, but it had been properly dressed. She also was awake to smile at me.
“Mission, are you alright?”
She extended her hand out to me. “Just a scratch. Thanks to Big Z, I’m all taken care of.” When I took her hand, I managed to smile. “I told you I wouldn’t let you down.”
“You did great.” I whispered. “You did great.”
When she looked to the others who were standing behind me, she knew that it was not a time to celebrate. “Juhani?”
She looked to both her and Zalbar. “Bastila.”
Mission sat up and groaned at the pain. Zalbar pushed me out of the way to hold her to the bed. “Easy, Mission. You’re not good as new, so be careful.”
She looked to me. “You mean that... she’s dead?”
Jolee’s voice came from somewhere and he answered the question. “Malak won’t kill her. He’ll try to seduce her to the darkside. With her battle meditation, the Sith would be invincible.”
I gently patted Mission on the shoulder. “On behalf of the crew, Mission, thanks.”
When I turned to leave, everyone moved out of my way as I went to the central compartment... the only one who didn’t was the only one who knew the truth. Carth actually got directly in front of me. “Not... so fast. We’ve got an even greater issue to deal with here. They deserve to know the truth about you. Do you want to tell them, or should I?”
I sighed deeply and walked around him. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” Then I just went into the port crew quarters and closed the door behind me. I knew that if I just brushed them off, the problem wouldn’t go away. If I confronted it, the problem would have been just as bad... it truly didn’t matter to me.
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I spent several hours alone in my quarters. I was physically exhausted, but my mind was more active than it had ever been in my life... at least the false life I had been given by the Jedi. Time allowed the truth to sink in, but it didn’t make it any easier to accept. How could I have been Darth Revan? No matter how long I stared the truth in the face, I still couldn’t bring myself to believe it.
I knew beyond a doubt that I was Revan, but without actually ‘being’ him... I just couldn’t imagine myself as anyone other than Alex Trevelyan. That is the only life I knew and it was a false life... the alternative was the real life of a vile tyrant that was worse than the monster that I lost Bastila to on the Leviathan.
Now there I was in charge of a strike team meant to defeat Malak and the endless power of the Star Forge that he controlled. With no base of operations, no other allies to turn to, and no idea how to deal with the situation... I hated where I was. I was trapped in a prison of fear... being in front of Malak was terrifying, but the idea of having Revan even closer was something I couldn’t deal with.
I eventually heard a light tapping on the door from outside. I could tell that she was afraid of disturbing me, which was why she didn’t use the door chime. If I hadn’t been Force-sensitive, I easily could have missed it. Instead, I waved my hand and opened the door behind me. I didn’t turn around, but remained in my meditative stance.
Juhani slowly and quietly walked in, clearly nervous as to whether I were still the alias or the Dark Lord himself. When she cleared the doorway, I waved my hand again and they closed behind her. I felt a surge of fear within her when I did that, but I didn’t want her to be afraid. “I’m not locking you in. I just don’t want the others to see me... like this.”
She maintained her silence, but came beside just enough for me to see her in the corner of my left eye, as I just kept my head fixed on the blank wall in front of me. “I remember when you told me that I could learn to count on any of the others. That we didn’t have to be afraid to turn to our friends in our times of need.”
I inhaled and looked directly into her eyes. “That was before. I don’t see how any of you could trust me again.”
She looked as though she wanted to assure me that everything was going to be alright, but she knew just as well as anyone that everything was not alright. “I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you... do you remember much of when you were the Dark Lord?”
I shook my head. “But that’s not what troubles me most. I’ve spent months with Bastila, all that time being lied to. She knew the truth and she never told me. When I heard it from Malak...” I hesitated to admit what I did. “...I wanted to kill her.”
Juhani clearly wasn’t comforted when she heard that. “What happened?”
“He wanted me to give in to my anger and turn against my allies and I did exactly what he wanted me to. I was so angry at Bastila and the Council for manipulating me that I completely forgot that he was there. Bastila sacrificed herself to save us!” I shouted. “And now she’s suffering for my mistake.” I grimly admitted.
Juhani cautiously extended her arm to touch my shoulder. I noticed that almost every gesture she made displayed how much I intimidated her. Now that I thought of it, everyone on the Ebon Hawk were timid; but Juhani was most of all. That was odd to me, as she often was careful with what she did and said to me... it was just like before, except she was careful about not setting me off.
I reached out and took her hand within mine. The two of us never really shared contact comfort with the other, so that was really one of the first times we really touched one another for the sake of it. I nestled her hand against my shoulder and rubbed the side of my head against it. I also couldn’t hold back a few tears. “Please... don’t be afraid of me.”
She moved from beside to directly in front of me. “I’m not. I just... I’m worried about you.”
“Juhani... I’m not Darth Revan. Bastila told me that my mind was destroyed and that the Council created a new identity to replace the one that was destroyed. To me, my memories, the ones they had given me, are as real to me as yours are to you.” I slowly stood up and turned away. “But they’re not real. What does that make me? I was the Dark Lord himself, but if I don’t remember any of it... does that excuse what I did?”
Juhani stood up and gently turned me around to face her. “I remember a time when a certain person found me drowning in the power of the Dark side. When he sought to help me...”
She told me that story too many times as it was; I didn’t want her to tell me again. “It wasn’t me, Juhani. How many times do I have to tell you that? It was you, and you alone who turned back to the Lightside. Never tell yourself otherwise.”
She smiled at me. “Thank-you, but I still must give at least some credit to you. You’ve never given us any reason to doubt you. I don’t care who you once were because it was a true servant of the light could have saved me from the darkside. You still are.”
A true servant of the light? Of course I was; that’s what I was programed to be. As much as I would have liked to say that, I guess I was too vain to just toss her respect out the nearest airlock. I was a fool for flattery and I really appreciated knowing that Juhani held me in such high regard. That really mattered to me, especially then of all times.
I inhaled deeply and nodded. “Yeah, Darth Revan... a servant of the light. Who would have imagined?” Then I moved to the door and cast it open with the Force.
“Where are you going?”
I stopped and stood in the doorway when I realized that there was no place in particular I intended to go. A lot of times, I just walked about with no real purpose. Maybe it was because it got tiring just staying in one place all the time. Even walking around the ship was a relief compared to being cooked in one space for a long time. “I wanna check on Mission.”
That really wasn’t the reason I wanted to leave, but it was the first excuse I could come up with. Juhani didn’t shadow me, but just kept far enough back to keep my in sight. Canderous and Carth were arguing over me from across the central compartment. The instant I went through, they stopped and watched what I did.
Mission was unconscious, but very much alright. Zalbar wasn’t with her, but only because he wanted to let her sleep. The lights in the compartment her dimmed, but I wanted to watch her through the darkness. Those who caught sight of me were suddenly interested in what I did, but none of them actually were bold enough to speak. They obviously knew who I was, so they were not going to address me unless I spoke first... or made eye contact with one.
“I told them. They deserved to know.” Carth confessed.
“How’d they take it?”
“I think that the others would like to hear what you have to say.”
I sighed and brushed my hand through my hair. For some reason, I couldn’t help but stare at a scar on my wrist. It was very minor, but I had no memory of how I got it. I had thought about it from time to time, but never really knew where it came from. Obviously, it was left there by my last alias. I still didn’t know its origin, but it left me realizing that compared to what was on my wrist, the injuries he left on the rest of the Galaxy were still bleeding. If I were responsible for the war on the Republic, I had to correct it.
I looked up to Carth. “What’s our heading?”
“I’ve set course for Sleheyron. That was our original destination before we were intercepted.”
What ran through my head had to have been the most irrational idea I’ve ever had, but I felt that it was the best option available. Carth kept staring at me as if expecting new orders, but it took me an uncomfortably long moment to give them. “Turn the ship around. Set a new heading... for Korriban.”
Before this ‘quest’ even began, Bastila explicitly decreed that going to Korriban was too dangerous. Being a world controlled by the Sith, it was the second-last on the list of several planets that we expected to find Star Maps. They hoped that out of the nine planets from the first Star Map on Dantooine, we might have found a combination of maps that would have lead us to the Star Forge.
None of the maps we found were complete, but collecting the data from other maps and piecing them together brought us a little closer to our goal... assuming that they all fit like a jigsaw puzzle. Our most recent find on Mannan provided us with nothing, as none of the corrupted data we were looking for remained intact. Although it was one of the most complete maps we found, most of the data that remained intact already was accounted for.
So much data overlapped with that collected with other maps that we could have avoided Tatooine and Narrayan altogether and not be any worse off than we already were. The problem with the ‘Star Map puzzle’ was that we had no idea just how much data we had compared to what we needed. We got a more complete map each time we collected new data, but amid the map were a number of programs that didn’t function because their data had also been corrupt. Those programs didn’t reveal what they did until they were also completed, so there had been no way of knowing just how much data we still had been missing.
All that we did know was that Revan had found the Star Forge with the data he collected from a number of maps. If we had located all the Star Maps that he... that I found, there was no doubt we would have found the Star Forge. There had been only one world that I knew Revan had been and we have not; Korriban.
The others might not have questioned me before, but the idea of the fallen Dark Lord returning to that place gave them pause. If that weren’t enough, Carth brought up the question of whether or not I should have remained in command of the mission. I felt betrayed by him, but I also couldn’t escape the fact that he was right to question my authority. I had to admit that I agreed with him, but for a different reason. With the most recent news as to whom I really was, I may no longer have been qualified to lead the others.
I think it was for that reason that I decided to go on alone.
--------
As I stood at the top of the ramp, I could tell Mission was afraid. I didn’t think it was so much fear of her life as it was that we were not going to have any support after the Hawk departed. Even with me, it must have been frightening for her to know that if something went wrong, there would have been no means of escape.
I hated the idea of taking her with me into a Sith stronghold, but I knew that I couldn’t do the job on my own. Anyone else would have attracted too much attention, but I simply lacked the vital skills that she possessed. I guess she had Griff to thank for being the one I asked to accompany me.
Zalbar kneeled before her and his emotions became clearly apparent... for me, that was. “Mission, he has no right to demand this of you. He cannot make you do this... the life debt I pledged only applies to my life... I would never have given yours...”
She gently placed her index finger over his jaw. “Zalbar, don’t blame him; this is my decision. He needs me.”
After embracing his friend, Zalbar lifted her off the deck and spoke to me over her shoulder. “Please... if she goes with you, at least let me come as well. To protect both of you.”
I set my hand upon his arm, rubbing against Mission’s back as well. “Stealth is our best defense. I assure you that if I put Mission in danger, I will always be in front of her.” When he put her down, I addressed them both. “You have my word... Alex Trevelyan’s word.”
When Zalbar reluctantly nodded and stepped back, Juhani moved behind me to stand between me and the bottom of the ramp. I turned and saw her smiling at me. “Alex Trevelyan? I would trust that word with my life.” She looked to Mission. “You can as well.”
I mouthed the words ‘thank-you’ to her, as she actually had her own doubts about me. What she did was to alleviate Mission’s fears and to reinforce her confidence in me. I embraced her briefly and moved my way to the end of the ramp before I thought of some great parting words. “If something happens and you should know that we need help... you come and you rescue us... is that understood?” I took a moment to enjoy the confusion on their expressions before I finished it. “That’s probably what you would do anyway, so I might as well give you an order you can follow. Until then...”
As we stepped off the boarding ramp, the silence of the others had been broken by a flood of parting words. As Mission waved back, I realized that we had already entered the public’s eyes and could not afford even the most minute mistake. I gently took her wrist and lowered it to her waist. “Remember, from this point on, we must be on our guard.”
She nodded and held her hands together to avoid making any further gestures. As she started following, Mission softly spoke up. “I’m sorry, but what should I do if someone asks me about you?”
Without looking back, I replied. “What do you mean? I went over the details we both need to keep straight for our cover.”
“Yes, but I don’t know... little things. Am I your property? Indentured servant? Am I utterly loyal to you, or do I hate you... what?”
“Don’t worry about that. The slave thing is just for show. You didn’t actually expect me to start ordering you around did you?”
Mission kept silent as she followed her ‘master’ into Dresdea. Although much had been going through her mind at that time, she felt as though she stepped into an alien world. When she had been with Zalbar as they explored worlds like Mannan, she felt much better knowing that she wasn’t the only one who didn’t know what had been going on around her. A part of her had likely been too scared for chit chat. I didn’t blame her.
When I heard the engines of the Ebon Hawk build up thrust, Mission and I couldn’t help but turn our gaze back to the star port. There had been an open roof where we were; we didn’t see the ship lift off the ground, but when it came into view again, it hovered about twenty meters above the ground for a moment before it finally pivoted away and its twin aft engines erupted with a blaze of thrust, blasting the ship higher into the sky. I could tell that as Mission watched the ship grow smaller and smaller, a part of her wondered if that would have been the last time she saw that ship. I had to admit that I had the same thoughts going through my head.
-------
Dresdea was much different from what I expected to find on Korriban. I had been under the impression that there were no places on the planet that you weren’t in danger, but Dresdea seemed almost safe enough that Mission could have taken refuge if something happened to me. It wasn’t a safe haven, but one who could weather the under city of Taris could get by for at least a few days.
The only issue I had with that place was that Sith students roamed the streets. Unlike full-sith, the students lacked refinement and were unpredictable. The Sith I’ve encountered on other worlds were relentless, but they made their intentions known; which at least could allow someone to anticipate and counter them. Of the fools I’ve encountered, one was drunk and easily provoked, another bullied pedestrians for their belongings, and two were shouting at a group of ‘hopefuls.’ When it seemed that those two were tired of dealing with the group, I knew they intended to kill them.
I gestured Mission to take cover while I dealt with the pair of students. I couldn’t stand the thought of those two vultures preying on the helpless like that. Those hopefuls weren’t students yet, so there was no justification for killing them like that. “If you two are so disgusted with these hopefuls, then why not just walk away?”
They turned around and the female addressed me first. “Let me give you some advice... Jedi: we all come here because we want to free ourselves from having to bother with these kind of people. The only way you do that is to dispose of them. You ignore them and the sniveling fools will be all over you for the rest of your life.”
“How did you come to determine that I’m a Jedi?”
The male scoffed. “Are you really that dense? You’re obviously not a student... unless you were stupid enough to forget your uniform, the Force is strong with you. If you’re a Jedi, you might as well carry your lightsaber in plain sight. That’s your best chance of being admitted; none of the weak fools could tell otherwise.”
“Hold on, why would you give me advice about getting admitted? I thought that the last thing you would have wanted was more competition.”
She crossed her arms and examined me. “He actually makes a good point, Kel. He’s not like the others, though. I was considering giving him a medallion, but that would just add another competitor to the mix.” She turned her attention back to him. “What do we have to gain by evaluating hopefuls?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Let’s just get out of here.”
She smiled at me. “Sorry pal. I would seriously have considered nominating you for admittance, but I wouldn’t want to have to drive my lightsaber into your gut. See ya.”
I smiled sarcastically and let them walk off. The hopefuls lost interest once they left and didn’t bother with me, since I wasn’t a student. They didn’t really recognize that I may have saved their lives; but I didn’t really didn’t care one way or another. Either way, Mission had been waiting a safe distance away when I went back for her.
She looked around to see the area had been clear. “What’s going on? Are you trying to get into this academy, or what?”
“The Star Map is in an ancient tomb. Only Sith or students can gain access to it. If I can get admitted, all I have to do is find it and then we can get out. I think that it would be easier to pass off as a student than to try sneaking in.” I noticed that Mission had been under a lot of pressure and I felt that she needed to know that I appreciated having her with me. “I know that I asked much of you in coming with me, but I want you to know how grateful I am that you’re here. Just not being alone here is... significant and I thank you.”
She sighed in frustration as there was something else bothering her. “I wish you would stop treating me like a kid. I’m not helpless and I wish you weren’t so concerned with trying to keep me safe every time something might happen.”
“This is serious, Mission. I intend to go into danger and I don’t want you to be put at risk because of what I do.”
She put her hands on her hips. “There you go again. If you want me with you, I don’t want you to treat me like a burden. I can take care of myself and you can’t afford to worry about me... you got your own problems to deal with. If you’re in trouble, you can count on me. If I know I will get in your way in a fight, I promise you that I will stay back. Is that good enough for you?”
I guess that I had frequently been overprotective of Mission, but I thought I might have done the same for any non-Force sensitive. I soon realized that I wouldn’t have done the same for Carth or Zalbar, so I had nothing to say that could justify declining her help. “You’re right. I do trust your judgment, but your role in this mission is strictly non-tactical. I don’t expect your help in a fire fight, but I won’t reject it.”
“Alright. Now let’s get on with it.”
------
Shortly after that, a brief fire fight occurred. Mission and I had separated before that in order to gather information about getting into the academy, so I easily dispatched my attackers by myself. It wasn’t all not naught, as I learned that I needed to obtain a medallion from a Sith student in order to enter the academy. I would have taken one off those students, had I not already properly disposed of their bodies. I finally obtained what I needed when I found an idiot that I could manipulate into giving me his token without a fight. The mind trick had so many uses...
When I met back up with Mission, I found she had attracted some unwanted company. A vulture had been hovering over her and another Twi’lek when I confronted them in a local cantina. “Come on, Mission. Let’s go.”
He stood up and blocked her from getting to me, but looked to the other twi’lek. “Wait... you said that she wasn’t anyone’s property. You said she was mine for the taking.”
Mission shot around to the other twi’lek and reacted with anger. “What?! You liar!”
“Mission!” I went around the Sith and pulled Mission from between them. Both were infuriated at the other twi’lek, but I didn’t have time to get the full story. “We’re getting out of here.” When the other twi’lek ran off, the student grabbed his lightsaber and attempted to go after her. Despite my attempt to stop him without hostilities, he turned his weapon at me. I pushed Mission clear and grabbed his wrist, pinning it against the bar. “Enough! Stay down!”
“Let me go, you bastard!” When he broke free, he turned his gaze upon me. “Fine. I’ll kill you instead!”
I dodged his lightsaber when he swung it at my head and managed to get behind him. With one arm wrapped around his neck and my other keeping his lightsaber away, I got the leverage I needed to snap some vital bones in his neck. Unlike the normal way one would snap a person’s neck by twisting the head against a fixed body, it was more like a body twisting against a fixed head.
When the fight ended, I saw Mission watch the other twi’lek as she ran off. I touched her shoulder to get her attention. “What was that about?”
She slowed her breathing and then calmed herself enough to speak, but still with anger in her tone. “I thought she was going to help us... she lied. I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. Was she a hopeful?”
“Yes.”
“She must have intended to impress that Sith or something. They should not be trusted anymore than actual Sith... just be aware of that next time.” I gently pulled her in my direction. “In the meantime, I obtained a medallion. I would like to get in, find the Star Map, and we can get out as soon as possible.”
“Thank goodness. I’m sick of this place already.”
------
As with many aspects of the Sith, nothing had been as easy as it seemed. I tried entering the academy with the medallion only to hear that I was supposed to give it to a Master Yuthura Ban... which meant going BACK to Dresdea in order to find her.
The constant movement back and forth had really been annoying. I hated that world and I just wanted to enter the academy long enough to find the right tomb, find the Star Map, and jump on the next transport out of there. Part of the reason I had been so pressed for time wasn’t so much because we were surrounded by enemies, but because I knew Bastila had been in Malak’s hands. The sooner we got out with the last map, the sooner we could go after her.
Through our bond, I could sense that she was in pain. Even if we had the map at that very moment, it might have taken days before any kind of rescue effort could be launched. I remembered how terrible the torture was when we were on the Leviathan, which was why I wanted to get that map as soon as possible. Another issue that I feared was that Bastila would eventually break. As we raced to launch a full-scale assault on the Star Forge, all Malak had to do was torture her... something he truly enjoyed doing. So with an unknown amount of time, we had to infiltrate an enemy stronghold and survive so we could give the Republic the location of the Forge. Even then, success wouldn’t have been a sure thing. The alternative was that we would get to her too late.
If Bastila turned to the Dark Side and augmented the Sith Fleet with her battle meditation, the Sith would have been invincible. Every moment we lost was another moment she had to hold up against Malak. Each moment she resisted had to have been more anguishing than the last; which was why we had to rush to save her.
When Mission and I found this Master Yuthura in the local cantina, I presented her with the medallion I took. The violet Twi’lek had been sitting at the bar with a glass in front of her, seemingly more interested in her drink than the medallion I prominently displayed for her. The few seconds it took her to swallow the final contents of her glass were frustrating to wait through. I had been rushed for time and she had to be the only passive Sith I’ve ever seen!
“I have a medallion.” I stated boldly.
She rolled her eyes back and brought her empty glass on the table with a loud impact. “I can see that. Unfortunately, the majority of these... students would be impressed by someone... putting on a hat.” When she actually looked at the medallion, it drew her attention enough for her to take it from me. “Wait, this isn’t a medallion; it’s a badge. Where did you get it?”
“I took it from its wrongful owner.”
She raised her head to make eye contact with me. “If you killed him, then I would have no issue with taking a more worthy candidate. If I may ask, who initiated the fight... you or him?”
“I did, but he was harassing my servant. He deserved what he got.” I justified.
She turned her gaze from me to the young, Twi’lek behind me. I suddenly felt a surge of rage and anger within that Sith Master. It startled me how greatly her passive state of mind erupted into something... terrible. In that moment, I seriously believed she intended to kill me herself. Instead, she directed her gaze at a table with four Sith students who had been waiting for their drinks. “All of you... kill him.”
That had been unexpected and enraging, so I grabbed her by the collar and slammed her against the nearest wall. I had almost expected to see fear in her eyes, but instead she displayed an almost sadistic smile. Far from the surge of anger I felt from before, she seemed to enjoy that moment. When I looked back, I saw a number of other Sith aside from the four who were standing behind me, blasters charged. I hadn’t even noticed that there were at least six guards in the cantina as well... and armed.
If things couldn’t have been worse, that Sith Master started taunting me. “How does it feel? To be under the brutal heel of someone who can decide whether you live or die... just by a simple command? The only way you can live is if I order them to stand down.”
“And even if you did, they wouldn’t obey... an order to spare an enemy... weakness.” I somehow uttered.
She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. Her eyes then moved to Mission, who had likely been on the wrong end of a blaster barrel. “I’ll take the girl in for questioning.” She gently pushed me aside, took my lightsaber, and escorted Mission away by the shoulder.
The frightened, adolescent Twi’lek looked at me as though I were about to die in the worst possible way. I gestured Mission to go along, nodding my head ever so slightly. I refused to show her fear, not for her sake; but because I needed her to get as far away as possible... I didn’t want her to die one way or another. I didn’t intend to just let them execute me, but if I stood a chance, I had to unleash hell upon them.
When Yuthura and Mission were far enough away, I concentrated everything I could muster into a powerful Force wave. In a fraction of a second, I had gone from doomed to being a doom giver. It wasn’t just the Sith who were thrown away, but the bar had been torn from the latches holding it to the floor. Tables, chairs, light fixtures, floor tiles, power conduits, and even a wall had been blown away.
The sound was deafening and when I fell to my knees, I hadn’t realized that I survived. My ears rang and the attack taxed me to an extreme level. I had trouble raising my head, let alone pursuing Mission. A moment later, I barely heard her calling my name. I raised my head and almost lunged out at her when I saw Mission, but she had already wrapped her arms around me.
I exhaled with extreme relief and gently held onto the young twi’lek. “Mission! You’re alright.” I looked up to see Yuthura, who had watched Mission as she ran back for me.
“Alex... that was amazing. I thought you didn’t...”
She stopped when I forced myself up to protect my ‘slave’ from the Sith woman. Ban and I stared at each other, neither one quite sure what to do at that point. I had proven to her that I could overpower a room full of students, but she knew I had been weakened. At first, I thought she wondered whether to attack me, herself. Then she seemed to appear... fascinated with me. I could almost see wheels turn in her head as she examined me.
After the painfully-long silence, she gave me an answer. “I must say that I misjudged you. If you wish to enter the academy, you could become a great Sith...”
I shook my head and moved to the doorway. “Get lost.”
“There’s more to my offer. I’m not just offering you a place at the academy, but a chance to become a full Sith.”
Mission patted my shoulder. “Alex... this is your chance. Remember why we’re here.”
I stared at her, who had selflessly followed me to this god forsaken place. I did make a promise to her earlier and she wouldn’t have wanted me to just throw it away over a petty dispute with a Sith Master who tried to kill me. Then I sighed and nodded to Ban. “I just want to be admitted into the academy.”
She took my lightsaber from her belt and handed it back to me. “Then I’ll take you there now.”