Haha, I happen to agree with you though, Bini.
This isn't my favorite.
Mostly cause it was an on the spot type of thing and I wasn't really putting much effort into it.
I'll make sure to try harder next time :xp: :)
That's probably a good idea :xp:
In response to the previous "poem" ... I present this:
Lost Angel
A two bit pyjama shirt,
and a flower printed bra.
You stripped me of my dignity,
and threw me face first in the dirt.
I wish I knew where you are now,
so I can show this thing I've wrote for you.
I seen the devil in an angel suit just the other day,
It must have been halloween somewhere, up there.
I never knew, I'd feel like this,
until you winked at me,
After all the drinks I was blind,
but now I can see,
that not all of it was bad,
but it was bad enough.
I can see
every little detail, and what I once though
smooth is now hard and rough.
I should make a few calls and start a band.
We'll have the whole world in the palm of our hands.
We'll pick up a beat,
sing bout you whilst sweating in the heat,
out on the other side of the street,
shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, move your feet...
... I'd rather stand.
To be honest, I didn't like this one either, the first two lines ruin the rest of the poem, it sounds lighthearted, and then all of a sudden it goes dark, best keep it in one mood. The lines were also screwed up, some too short, others too long.
Did not like it, sorry.
Whoa... I never knew...
Wow.
Okay, I'm definitely favoriting this thread. These poems are works of genius!
@Bini: Ouch! Lol. Okay, ot seems I have a more affinity with the darker side of poems than lighthearted. Fair enough, I'm not complaining, I like that idea! :lol:
@Arc: Now THAT'S praise and a half! I thank you! :D:D:D
Been busy the last couple of days so no new material yet, but I will make sure to have some soon!
Well, this last poem was slightly up and down...I liked it but, I wasn't quite sure how to establish it as...but excellent work nonetheless!:D Post more soon!:D
^^^ Thanks :D
Another one people. I went back to what I do best and came up with this. Be honest and tell me what you think! :)
- Unholy Wars -
Heirs to Babylon,
sickened feelings of the darkest macabre.
Serve to which is wrong,
speak till your tongue is spent and barred!
Hail to the faithful,
the serpent king awaits.
Seeds sown from the hateful,
succulent virgin taste.
Darkened wizard, serve your servants fears.
To be away with thee! Curse away those holy tears.
Sweet endorphin,
lined with kin.
Thy cannot allow in,
whereas filled with sin.
Execution Avatar!
Strike me down with your black magics,
and I shall rise again.
Death after death, in life will I win,
and thy will be more than your master expects.
Stoic misery, your feet are getting weary,
better yet now to stop this fools march.
Dreams which are scary, are but a loose fitting fairy,
finish me off now, before your death can come to pass.
He took a look at thee,
with sweet eyes full of melody,
and in them I could see the sea,
a sea of stricken hope and hopeful misery.
"Bring all your amarda, this war will be won.
I will destroy all life, beginning with your son!"
This he cried over the gore-filled plain,
I could see from here, his mind was no longer sane.
Destroyed by grief, sanctioned by strife,
his hate was fuel for me,
it returned me to my natural life.
If only could it have been.
Such a tragic kingdom,
to raise on our own.
Just thee wait, the time will come;
a flower will grow from where the seed was sown.
Satan's incognito,
death upon the throne,
heave the last remants below,
up above, to where he rests alone.
Heirs to Babylon,
sickened feelings of the darkest macabre.
Spare me of your insolence,
and wreck havoc for me, cry in pain,
make me laugh.
Death, is only a manner of speaking.
A dream in which, for some is real.
Please do not tell me what thee is thinking,
open the box, do it!
Break the seal...
...And make me laugh.
That's better :)
You're longer poems seem to have a sort of, lyrical influence, maybe by band like Opeth or Alice in Chains, which is a very good thing.
Kudos to you again :thumbsup:
Cheers!
I don't mind Alice in Chains, but Opeth I could go without. (My cousin listens to them religiously and I just can't stand in hearing another one of their songs again for a long, long, long time hahaha. He plays them that much!) :lol:
Heh, I've been doing the same thing with In Flames recently, drives my mates nuts, except the ones that also love In Flames :xp:
Haha yeah, the same with me with Metallica, and Motley Crue and Marylin Manson.
Usually at least 3 - 4 times a wekk I blare out the playlist with all those albums for a few hours.
Drives everybody who's here nuts (even though they love those bands as well! hahaha)
Ah well .. all in good fun.
- Upon The Hill of Grace -
I feel so lost,
I can't find my way.
What did it cost
for me to see this day?
I thought that I could,
I thought that I would,
be who you wanted me to be,
but I failed, and here I am now.
I'm just another one of God's children,
who's lost their way.
Can you ever forgive me,
for seeing through to this day?
Some say that Life will go on ...
I still remember what happened.
Like as if, it was yesterday.
I thought it was the end,
but what happened next, I can't say.
My dying breaths,
were salvation from death.
But as I tried to help you,
I realized that I couldn't even help myself.
I'm sorry that I couldn't do it,
I'm sorry that I failed.
I'm worried that you'll never forgive me,
even if I died and seen you in heaven ...
... Or hell.
What happens now?
When all the light has faded from my sky?
What happens now?
When everything I do is a failed try.
I just hope that I can finally be who you wanted me to be.
Some say that Life will go on,
some say, that my hollowness will fill in.
Some say, that the hurt that I feel will heal.
Some say, but some say, that it will never feel real.
I stand here now,
on the cliff to see the truth.
As I reach out to you, the wind pushes me back.
I wonder how,
if my pained memory will ever be soothed,
but as I cry ... I will to gain back what I lack.
I feel so lost,
I can't find my way.
What did it cost,
for me to see this day?
I'm waiting,
I'm breathing,
I'm hoping that this day will finally end!
Tell me the truth.
Can I ever find happiness again?
Please tell me now,
that this isn't really the end.
I trust you,
I love you,
I see you....
... But I'm content to hate myself.
I don't want to die.
I just want to lie here.
And look to the sky,
and dream of what is to come.
Please forgive me.
I'm sorry.........
I felt so lost,
I couldnt find my way...
Until now...
Whoa. I think we have a winner...
Is what I'd be saying if we were holding a contest :xp:
Very, VERY nice, brilliant, probably up there with your best, nicely done.
Ha, cheers Bini!
I was a little hesitant to post that one.
Just wasn't sure about it.
There was something I thought that didn't fit right, but I just couldn't pick what it was! I guess that didn't matter much though, lol.
A new one.
Written when I was in one of those moments where a relationship can seem so good at the time but you know that its only a matter of time until that ends.
- When You're Around -
When you're around,
I can see everything that's in front of me.
I can hear that sound,
of how lovely your voice can be.
When you're around,
I can remember where I have been,
I don't have to scream,
I don't have to dream,
Nothing is ever what it seems,
when you're around.
When you're gone,
everything seems so wrong,
but after so long,
when I write this song,
I knew that I could get along,
without you.
It seems to me,
that we will be,
something out of a horror story.
But now I think,
that we won't sink,
and a horror story isn't so bad for me.
When you're around,
I'd rather be alone.
But when you're gone,
I feel too alone.
Can you see my predicament?
Being stuck in this sentiment,
but having no way to get out.
When you're around.
Eh.
I didn't really enjoy that one, you didn't do anything wrong in the sense of what makes a good poem, I just didn't really like it.
Ah well.
Ah well indeed. :/
Anyways. I have started work on a piece that I plan to have unfold into an epic poem.
Not epic as in awesome or the best ever (although, when I am finished, hopefully it will be just that lol). It will be a time before I post it entirely, but I will keep updates on it and still post smaller poems/lyrics here and there.
Anyways .. Just a small update.
And, so that wasn't a waste of your time ... here's a little something I wrote yesterday.
Enjoy :)
- Untitled -
Starlight,
so bright,
against the shattered sky.
Death fight,
bitter sight,
kneel down in prayer and listen to the lie.
The oceans crashes,
the wind smashes,
so much for eternity.
Whip lashes,
skin deep gashes,
destroy her fertility.
Sing a song in desperation.
Owls fly over,
rats take cover,
snakes, they poise to strike.
Into the never,
journey takes forever,
be careful to avoid the bite.
Now that's what I'm talkin about!
The only down side I have for it is it cuts out too quickly!
But awesome nonetheless, good luck with your 'epic poem' :)
i like these a lot despite some prejudices on my part (i don't like rhyme in poems :xp: i think it can sound forced and contrived - though you've avoided that for the most part). bit dark though :p
Thank you both for your comments :)
Ahhh, home sweet home :)
I'm sorry I haven't been able to spend more time here!!
In relation to my return I would like to post a stanza!
Here it is!
"A time is never too far away,
all you have to do is wait each day.
Sing no songs of sadness and despair,
for the tears are of fear,
for no spirit to be here,
but the memory will last forever.
All you have to do is care..."
...Yeahp .. It's good to be back :xp:
Expect some new material very, very, very soon!!!! :D
Love it BFA :] it's sweet and simple.
Well .... I totally forgot about this thread!!!!
And with all of the generically dark and bloodstained poetry/something I have written over the past few months, I thinks its time to dust the dirt, grime and cobwebs from this thread and post a little!
Let's see.....
Ah.
Yes.
Here we are.
Hmm....
Ok, I'll post it.
This.
-: Eye of Roses :-
Arcane wisps of swindlers dream,
with flashing spurs on Winter's stream.
Beyond the Veil of sanity's Corpse,
through Vanity's bloodshed, my millennial Force.
It reminds me of a certain solstice.
A gentle caress of Midnights moon.
A familiar scene,
a caring thought based from Sin.
An Oracle - unravelling webs of misty song.
Eternal stares of widswet airs,
forcus upon the Silver Glare.
Her eyes; pure as Innocents Heart,
pierced by the dreaded needle of youth.
And the Experiened; torn apart.
Threaded and brewed by copious streams,
of Ego bereft and chemically induced dreams.
It's the Paradox of being sane,
when the Outside is a canvas of souless eyes,
despicable lies, entrenched "Angels"; Demons in disguise.
Depraved, deprived, it does not seem to matter.
They're all part of the Sense.
Succulent distinctions without a difference,
marked as inferior, a string of misty white thought.
Too damning, too wicked to forget what's been wrought.
Might have to get someone to change the title to Catto's Place instead of BFA's, haha.
Anyways,
Thoughts?
Spells, Hells, and Other Such Wickeds
Blessed be, the sacred act.
A bloodlust thought, a brutal pact.
Swept up Sin's, everlasting dreams.
A crucial space in the cerebral seams.
Add the script, intertwined in scope,
beneath the hearth, moss and dirt envelope.
Bride to be, beauty, envisioned in life -
though what's to be, insanity, a matron of Strife.
It's insatiable,
beyond affinity.
The Witch's skin,
strewn from bone to infinity.
Follow the sane unto the plane,
of light and shadow,
shrouds of malicious bane.
Encumbered though the Titan may be,
encased in Wind, He can see,
the exposed flesh, milky white,
entrusted with a sense; hesitant; not contrite.
And the creation and Creator bow down and laugh.
as the current of sneer's flow forth.
Pleasure, pain, its all the same,
when all falls down around them,
into the Void, for evermore.
Satanical, maniacal;
Atrocities cohorts.