This Thread will be for the illustrations from my fanfiction, Shrouded in Darkness. Most are with Yuthura Ban, but I will be adding other characters as well. Any criticisms, even minor ones, are appreciated. I would like you to be as cruel as possible, but understand that some shadow errors are from the photoscaning. Hope you enjoy!

http://www.lucasforums.com/picture.php?albumid=31&pictureid=741)

Yuthura and Revan.



http://www.lucasforums.com/picture.php?albumid=31&pictureid=746)

Yuthura has two lightsabers (One that she built before joining the sith. Another was built after she returned to the jedi.) She uses both as shoto (short sabers) like we use escrima weapons.


http://www.lucasforums.com/picture.php?albumid=31&pictureid=831)

This image is incomplete, but I wanted to know if there were any problems other than Atris' left hand not being on the saber. I also know the facial expressions aren't right. Please let me know if there are any other problems before I provide a final copy. Thanks.

Note: Yuthura is gripping her side because she was wounded earlier. Although it would not have been proper to use one hand for fighting, I thought that the pain from fractured ribs would have been significant enough that she hold hold onto her side.

Perhaps Yuthura's arm shouldn't be around her waist. That and her expresion almost make it look like she's only playing with Atris in a lazy Sunday afternoon kind of way.

^
That is true. She looks like she is having fun. Maybe since she is injured, she should have pain in her expression, and maybe slouch a little bit. It certainly sounds hard to battle a Jedi Master with several fractured ribs.

I do like how you started Atris's robe. I think that it looks really good. Especially that it is sorta kinda flowing. To me, it is a really good start. :)

"At any rate, that is all that I can think of" right now. :/

I find your comments to be... interesting. I've had trouble getting expressions without compromising the character's facial qualities. I simple copied the expression of the model and intended to change the mouth and eyebrows(which I've now done). The tattoos are difficult to draw from this perspective... would anyone have a real issue with that, or should I not even ask? Thanks.

Don't get me wrong, I think that your drawings are amazing, and out of my league. I have taken and art class, and I how hard it can be to draw facial expressions. It is even hard to draw something good most of the time! (I am a very poor artist, but I did get and A, go figure). Just think of it as a way to make it even better than they already are. ;)

By what we saw in the first picture, we (or at least I) know that they must be hard to draw. I'm sure that it takes a long time to draw, and a lot of patience. I don't mind at all, besides I think that she is going to get them removed soon anyways. :D.

I like the facial expression on the third pictue, I just don't think that it is right for the situation. I think that it portrays Yuthura very well. ^_^

I think your art is great, in fact, I *like* her facial expression in the third one... It's almost like she's showing that it's too easy and she's *soo* much better than Atris... you know?

I also really like the tattoos in the first drawing, that obviously took alot of time and attention to detail... :^:

My comment would be in the second drawing, her eyes just look a little... pointy and disproportionate with each other, but seem to be in good proportion to the rest of the face.... Eyes are my favorite thing to draw, so I seem to focus on those most... ^^;;

It might just be me, but her right eye is just... strangely slanted... Otherwise, I love the pic...

Great work. ^^

Ahh I've been waiting for this thread.

I like all these pics but since you want constructive criticism...

In the Yuthura Revan pic one of the eyes is too small. I know that for proportion it should be a little smaller but I think it could be made a bit bigger. Tatoos are freaking awesome! :D

Yuthura with her lightsabers: Great job on the ribs and abs! The only suggestion that I can make is to make sur that her eyes are both looking in the same direction. Good eye shape and everything, but just looks a little cross eyed.

Yuthura and Atris: I too like Yuthura's facial expression. She knows she is right and is confident in her abilities. The only note I can make is that you is that you have her clutching her side because she is hurt, yet her facial expression does not reflect the hurt. I like the expression but the hand and the expression don't work together. I like the pic without the tatoos. Actually the absence of tatoos shows who at this point is being the better jedi.

I draw as well but I do more manga which allows for a lot of unrealistic looking things and exagerated emotions, quite different from your style. But those are just my suggestions, take em or leave em. :whtsmile:


~HOP

awesome!!
^_^
you're quite an artist.