Nice chapter, Pottsie. I liked the TSL reminder - Carth's last line. Again there seem to be some minor typos, again a consequence of rushed typing, but nothing too serious. :)
Thanks igyman. Merry Christmas Everybody!
A very short Chapter everyone.
Chapter VI - Kreia’s Second Visit
“You cannot kill, what you cannot see and power blinded you long ago.”
- Kreia
Later on, the crew knew that they needed their beauty sleep and took their own beds. Atton and Sera took the port dormitory, while Bastila took the starboard dormitory. They still hadn’t arrived on Rhen Var, but were close to arriving there. The next day, Sera knew that they would arrive on the planet. Knowing this, however, didn’t help the problem she had now. She couldn’t sleep. Opposite her, Sera could hear Atton snoring away, relaxed as ever. Atton’s snoring wasn’t Sera’s problem though. Her problem was that she could sense a familiar presence around her.
“Kreia?” Sera asked, calling out through the Force.
Slowly, the Force ghost of Kreia appeared. Kreia’s Force ghost lit up the port dormitory.
“Yes, I had hoped as much,” She began.
“You know, you said that, the last time you visited,” Sera told her.
“Did I?” Kreia asked, obviously bored of talking to Sera, “Looks like the fool and the one Revan once travelled with are with you.”
“Yes they are,” Sera told her, “Is that a problem?”
Kreia didn’t say anything, but Sera could tell that she was thinking. She had always disliked Atton. Ever since all three of them had met on Peragus, Atton and Kreia’s first meeting with each other immediately started off bad. They had names for each other too. Kreia always referred to Atton as “the fool” and Atton always referred to Kreia as “the old witch”. Sera always tried to keep the peace between them, but overall, they never got along.
“There isn’t any problems, anymore,” Kreia assured Sera, “But keep your eye on him He was once an assassin of Revan, but this also causes an advantage for you. He also knows much about Revan, like you and the woman who travels with you both. Keep this in mind.”
Kreia disappeared, before Sera could speak to her. Sera heard Atton yawn as he rolled off his bunk. Men, Sera thought, as she pulled the covers over her.
Another short Chapter, which I copied exactly from my Short Fic, Farewells (
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=168533). The finished link of the Fic is here (
http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=168535). This won't happen again. Enjoy. Note: This Chapter has recieved edits and may recieve more in the future.
Chapter VII - Farewells
"Saying goodbye is a hard thing for many to do. Especially when they are close friends or if they are deeply in love with each other. Sometimes, they promise that they will see each other again. However this isn’t always the case. Sometimes they may never return. This is a small account of the redeemed Jedi, Revan, before he left for the Unknown Regions over four thousand years ago. This is indeed ancient history of the Jedi."
- Luke Skywalker
Revan was sitting in the cockpit of the Ebon Hawk, looking over the rebuilding Planet of Taris. He thought about the recurring nightmare he was having every night. A nightmare about the true enemy. The True Sith. Revan had believed them to have died a long time ago. But these nightmares were a sign. A sign of something bad that would happen in the future. He knew he had to leave, but how would he tell the love of his life? Bastila Shan. She was another Jedi that Revan had travelled with to destroy the Star Forge and over the time they spent together, they found themselves deeply in love. Revan knew that he needed to go to the Unknown Regions, but what would Bastila say. Would she fear for his safety? Would she want to go with him? Would she prevent him from going? Revan could only find out by telling her. He got up and decided to find Bastila.
*****
Bastila was mediating in the port dormitory. She had no idea that Revan was watching her.
“Bastila.” He said.
Bastila immediately leapt from her position of mediating and immediately stood up, accidentally hitting the ceiling above. Revan heard her whisper ouch and she rubbed the spot where she had hit the ceiling. She then remembered Revan and turned to him.
“How can I help?” She asked.
Revan laughed.
“You say that every time I need help,” Revan told her, “But seriously, there is something I must tell you.”
Revan remained silent. Bastila wondered what was wrong.
“Revan?” She asked.
“There is something I must tell you,” Revan started, “And I don’t think you’ll like it.”
“Please tell me Revan.” Bastila told him.
Revan sighed. How to break the news? Should he build up to it or just say it straight away.
“Bastila, the nightmares I’ve been having have gotten increasingly worse over the year.” He told her.
“So…” Bastila asked, trying not to be rude.
“So this means I’m going to leave.” Revan told her.
Bastila looked shocked.
“What?” She asked, “Why?”
“These nightmares are about the True Sith,” Revan told her, “They are a threat to the Republic and I must protect them.”
“What why you?” Bastila asked.
“The Force has told me.” Revan told her.
Revan turned to leave. Before he left, he told Bastila one last thing.
“This is all I will say on the subject.”
*****
The next day, Revan said farewell to Bastila and the Republic Admiral, Carth Onasi. Revan knew that he might never see them again, but the Galaxy was under threat. It was time for Revan to fight the True Sith.
Nice two chapters...
But copying is bad...However still looking forward to more.
Nice two chapters...
But copying is bad...However still looking forward to more.
Thanks CSI.
I know that copying is bad and it is, of course, lazy, but it is part of the plot and will help develop Sera and Bastila's relationship in the future, since this was a shared vision.
Me copying my own thing isn't plagiarism of anyone else's work (Except LucasArts of course, but isn't everyone's Fics?), so I hopefully, won't be in trouble for this. I will now work hard on my Chapters, after those two.
Copying your own works is fine--you're using your own ideas. It's only when you claim someone else's work as your own that it becomes a problem. Incorporating a short fic into a longer one to expand it is absolutely no problem, and it's fun to see what you've done with it. --Jae
Copying is a no no.
But still good job:)
Yeah, I remember reading that shortie back when you originally posted it. Nice one, but we'll see how it fits into the story. As for the previous short chapter, I know I'm starting to sound a bit nagging, but you've really rushed it. Just compare how you wrote the shortie that you now incorporated into this fic and that previous chapter and you'll see the difference in quality. Don't rush your writing, I've said this before and I'm saying it again. You can write great stuff, but you need to learn to take your time. :)
I know I'm rushing igy, but I want to try and start writing Part Three, which I find will be more important. But I'm slowing down now, so I'll be giving the Chapters more attention to, then rushing them. Thanks for saying I can write great stuff though.
I'm sorry everyone, but this Fic is about to be cut short soon, since there will be this Chapter and three or four other Chapters, along with the Epilogue. Soon, I will be able to test my writing with a battle scene. I'm not very good at writing them and I want to spend as much time as possible writing it. Sorry for disappointing you all.
Chapter VIII - Decisions
“Bastila was strong, but she was always impatient and headstrong. Malak preyed upon her weaknesses.”
- Jolee Bindo
Bastila immediately awoke. The vision she had received from the Force had caused her to remember her last meeting with Revan. It had been some time since that meeting. Five years in fact. Sera entered the starboard dormitory. Bastila knew that Sera had shared her vision. The one thing that Bastila didn’t know was if Atton had also shared the vision.
“I had a vision,” Sera began, “Of Revan. You’ve had it too, haven’t you?”
Bastila nodded speechless.
“You should know where Revan went, then we can find him,” Sera told Bastila.
“No, I don’t know where Revan travelled to,” Bastila told Sera, “He wouldn’t tell me.”
“Why?” Sera asked rudely.
“I don’t know!” Bastila shouted, “I… I don’t know. Our vision caused me to remember some bad experiences. Revan leaving was one of the hardest times of my life as a Jedi. He wouldn’t let me, or anyone else travel with him.”
Bastila reached into her pocket and grabbed a small datapad. She pressed a button, causing the datapad to activate.
“See here,” Bastila asked Sera, pointing at the small holographic planets that flashed above the datapad, “These were the locations of where we found the Star Maps, five years ago.”
Sera snatched the datapad from Bastila and looked at it, before handing it back to Bastila.
“Was this what caused Revan to leave?” Sera asked.
“No,” Bastila told her, “It was afterwards. After the mission to defeat Malak, after the mission to. No, I can’t tell you, it doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter,” Sera told Bastila, “What mission?”
“We have no time to discuss this matter,” Bastila told Sera, “We need to find Revan, the True Sith.”
Bastila stormed off, leaving Sera alone, in the starboard dormitory.
Nice chapter again, Pottsie. Looking forward to more!
Some good chapters, the way you incorporated Farewells with this fic was neat. Keep it up!
Sometimes I get ideas and I want to get through the current chapters to get to the new ideas as quickly as I can so I don't forget the ideas. I discovered that if I write down the ideas somewhere (like having an 'idea file'), it takes the pressure off to write fast. I also found it helpful for when I write the current chapters--since I know where I want to go with the future ideas, it makes it easier to write the current chapters. I find it alot easier to write with a specific goal in mind.
Thanks for the advice Jae. I'm currently writing the third part, The Quest for Dominance now, since I can't really write much of this Fic. This is why it is going to end soon.
Jason, CSI, thanks for the comments.
I'll definitely take a look at that third part when it's done, but I have to say that I am a little disappointed by the fact that you've decided to cut this short. And after all the inspiration speeches I gave. :D Remember that Echoes of Darkness, although it was unquestioningly longer than Unsatisfied Hunger, still suffered from a similar thing in the end. You quickly introduced the main villain and destroyed him (In your face ED:xp: !) and ended the story. I hoped this one wouldn't be rushed, but it seems I was wrong. Now I just hope you won't rush the third part and that you'll show us the maximum of your writing potential. :)
I'll definitely take a look at that third part when it's done, but I have to say that I am a little disappointed by the fact that you've decided to cut this short. And after all the inspiration speeches I gave. :D Remember that Echoes of Darkness, although it was unquestioningly longer than Unsatisfied Hunger, still suffered from a similar thing in the end. You quickly introduced the main villain and destroyed him (In your face ED:xp: !) and ended the story. I hoped this one wouldn't be rushed, but it seems I was wrong. Now I just hope you won't rush the third part and that you'll show us the maximum of your writing potential. :)
I agree igyman. I agree...
Edit: etails about The Quest of Dominance here:
Storyline: Four years have passed, since the events of Unsatisfied Hunger and a new darkness awaits Sera Tana, who is no longer known as the Jedi Exile. On the planet of Maytarr, the Dark Jedi, Nergrol Degener, who lived four hundred and forty-nine years ago has been believed to be alive, due to a disciple of the dark side, who managed to resurrect him, sacrificing his/her own life for his/her resurrection. Alora Win-kara, an archaeologist who is obsessed with Nergrol has asked Sera and her ex-Jedi Master, Jorran Corral to find the tomb of Nergrol and stop him from holding the galaxy in the palm of his hand.
Planets: Well, only one planet features in this Fic and that is my made up planet, Maytarr. It is a grass planet, with a dark landscape and mud filled terrain in some parts.
Characters: Sera Tana is back, as always, but the Droids aren't accompanying her, or any other character from the previous Fics or the KOTOR series. Jorran Corral, a legendary made up character stars and Alora Win-kara (Who happens to be the name of my recent female Revan in KOTOR) also stars. The enemy at the moment is Nergrol, but they might be more.
Style Change: The quote at the beginning of every Chapter is being kicked out, as is the Part system. I'm going back to the basics with just Chapters.
Other than that, no other details will be posted, but I'm going to finish it, before I release it. Hopefully igyman will make another banner for me and I'd like to thank him and all my fans who still have faith in me.
Well, quite nice to know.
I agree igyman. I agree...
Edit: Details about The Quest of Dominance here:
Storyline: Four years have passed, since the events of Unsatisfied Hunger and a new darkness awaits Sera Tana, who is no longer known as the Jedi Exile. On the planet of Maytarr, the Dark Jedi, Nergrol Degener, who lived four hundred and forty-nine years ago has been believed to be alive, due to a disciple of the dark side, who managed to resurrect him, sacrificing his/her own life for his/her resurrection. Alora Win-kara, an archaeologist who is obsessed with Nergrol has asked Sera and her ex-Jedi Master, Jorran Corral to find the tomb of Nergrol and stop him from holding the galaxy in the palm of his hand.
Planets: Well, only one planet features in this Fic and that is my made up planet, Maytarr. It is a grass planet, with a dark landscape and mud filled terrain in some parts.
Characters: Sera Tana is back, as always, but the Droids aren't accompanying her, or any other character from the previous Fics or the KOTOR series. Jorran Corral, a legendary made up character stars and Alora Win-kara (Who happens to be the name of my recent female Revan in KOTOR) also stars. The enemy at the moment is Nergrol, but they might be more.
Style Change: The quote at the beginning of every Chapter is being kicked out, as is the Part system. I'm going back to the basics with just Chapters.
Other than that, no other details will be posted, but I'm going to finish it, before I release it. Hopefully igyman will make another banner for me and I'd like to thank him and all my fans who still have faith in me.
Nice preview, but I recommend you to put it into "Spoiler"...
Nice preview, but I recommend you to put it into "Spoiler"...
Whoops. I forgot.
Hopefully igyman will make another banner for me
Sure, you can PM me to work out the details.
Sure, you can PM me to work out the details.
Thanks igyman. I'll PM you sometime.
Here is the Epilogue. I'm sorry I've disappointed you all, but I promise to finish The Quest of Dominance, before posting it. Sorry to rush this and end it, like Echoes of Darkness.
Epilogue
“I’m afraid I have no choice,” Diego started, “I have no other choice than to kill you, Lord Nihilus.”
Nihilus spoke more and ignited his Lightsaber, which clashed with Diego’s Lightsabers. Nihilus tried to break out of his Lightsaber away from Diego’s, but Diego knew what he had to do. He threw his other Lightsaber towards a nearby pillar, causing it to break. Diego managed to leap out of the way, avoiding being crushed by the pillar. Nihilus, however, wasn’t as lucky. The pillar had crushed him. Diego left the temple, leaving the eternal darkness.
*****
Soon, Diego arrived outside in the cold climate of Rhen Var. The Ebon Hawk was there. Bastila ran towards Diego and she immediately pulled him towards her and kissed him.
“It’s so great to see you again Diego,” Bastila told him.
“You too Bastila,” Diego told her, grabbing her hand and holding it tightly.
Sera walked out of the Ebon Hawk.
“It’s been a while,” She told Revan, “I’m Sera Tana. I once followed you to war against the Mandalorians as your general.”
Diego walked over to Sera and shook her hand.
“It is great to see you again, Sera,” Diego told her, “Yes it has been a while and I can’t remember you, since my memories were lost, but it will be great to know you once again.”
*****
Returning to Telos, Sera, Atton, Diego and Bastila were honoured as heroes and Carth wanted Sera to no longer be known as the Jedi Exile, but one of the wisest Jedi Knights of this era. Diego’s return would greatly enhance the Republic and the Jedi Order to return and Sera, Diego and the wise Jedi Master, Xarg would lead the Jedi Order, from this point on.
good job pottsie im now waiting for the quest.
good job pottsie im now waiting for the quest.
Thanks Grivis, but you're going to have to wait a long time for it to be released.
Very, very short. But still, I'll be waiting for the full finished deluxe version (:D) of the Quest of Dominance (or Domination, as it says in your sig ;)). In the meantime, there's one small spelling error in this epilogue - “I have no other choice than to kill you, Lord Nihilus.” (this is the fixed sentence, so you can compare). Best of luck and inspiration in writing that third part of the fic. :)
Thanks for pointing out the mistake igy and I've corrected it both here and the finished version. And I need to correct that Sig too, since it says Domination, instead of Dominance, which it should say, so thanks for reminding me. Thanks for saying:
Best of luck and inspiration in writing that third part of the fic.
I've written the Prologue and the first Chapter already, but I'm going a lot slower this time. Also, I'll PM you soon about the banner for the third Fic.
No...That's not funny...Ending the awesome fic so soon...[Smears a tear]but however looking forward to new fic.
No...That's not funny...Ending the awesome fic so soon...[Smears a tear]but however looking forward to new fic.
This Fic is far from great CSI. Anyway, here is are some words that will unsatisfy your hunger for The Quest for Dominance:
"The Quest for Dominance, coming soon in 2007."
I don't want to be a pain in the... rear end, but...
here are some words that will unsatisfy your hunger for The Quest for Dominance:
"The Quest for Dominance, coming soon in 2007."
As for the line itself: :rofl: Good one! :lol: ''Unsatisfy your hunger'', heh heh.
This fic had alot of potential Pottsie. I just hope TQFD is better. Good luck, and May The Force Be With You!
This fic had alot of potential Pottsie. I just hope TQFD is better. Good luck, and May The Force Be With You!
And may the Force be with you too, Jason. I've got a feeling that TQFD will be better. Too bad, it won't be released for ages. I'm working on Chapter 2 right now.
I don't want to be a pain in the... rear end, but...
As for the line itself: :rofl: Good one! :lol: ''Unsatisfy your hunger'', heh heh.
Huh...He means me...Because I always casts [Force Manuscript Drain] on him to fulfill my hunger on new chapters.
I know he means you, but the line is still funny. :lol: