Wow! That's a good Prolouge and First Chapter LDB, you are truely talented in the Arts of the Dark Side.... lol. Good job seriously though, can't wait to see more... all I can say at the current state is welcome to Hell
I'm glad you liked it! I will start chapter 2 later tonight, and maybe be able to post it by next sunday, or sooner.
Good chapter though. Keep up. BTW, I agree with RSM, you and him are indeed very talented in Dark Side.
Great start to the story LDB, looking forward to the next chapter!!! :D
Very good start, LDB and I like your Fic so far. Hopefully for Christmas, I might get the Darth Bane book, but this will be a good replacement at the moment. A suggestion though would be to have the Prologue and the Chapters in different posts. The writer is allowed to double post in the CEC. Looking foward to more LDB.
A suggestion though would be to have the Prologue and the Chapters in different posts.
So should I go ahead and do this then?
So should I go ahead and do this then?
Not now, since it looks alright, but when you have two or more Chapters to post, do them in different posts and if you finish this Fic, when you post the finished version, seperate both the Prologue and Chapter 1. Other than that, your Fic is really good.
Not now, since it looks alright, but when you have two or more Chapters to post, do them in different posts and if you finish this Fic, when you post the finished version, seperate both the Prologue and Chapter 1. Other than that, your Fic is really good.
Well thanks for the info, and I'm glad you like it. I have just started on chapter 2, and I already have an idea for chapter 3. So you could expect to see chapter 2 some time this week.
Good fic Bane, is this the sequel to the book. If it is good. the bok was good.
'Tis good. I'm ready for more.
I really never thought it to be a sequel to the book, but it should be!:xp: Chapter 2 is coming out great, and is well on its way.
Well it makes since. It could be Your sequel to it. Bane in the book found Rain who was a girl, and made her his apprentice. Darth Zannah is a girl. Zannah could = Rain.:xp:
Well it makes since. It could be Your sequel to it. Bane in the book found Rain who was a girl, and made her his apprentice. Darth Zannah is a girl. Zannah could = Rain.:xp:
Rain IS Zannah. Rain was just her nick name from when her and her cousins lived on Somov Rit. According to legend on Somov Rit the mythological beast called the Swamp Demon would swallow anyone who said their real name aloud. Since Zannah was better known by her nick name Bane used her real name as a way to conceal her true identity.
Rain is Zannah. She calls herself that in the Jedi vs. Sith comic, Grivis. It's not this guy's original name.
Pretty good first chapter, but it seems to me that it jumps into the story a bit too quickly. You need to set the scene a little better. Maybe in the next chapter.
Two things:
- There were a few errors, didn't see any spellings but there are missing words and stuff. You could do with reading through it a few times.
- Darth Rivan is far too much like Darth Revan. It's not very original and it could be confusing for people.
yeah, i though it was a simple misspelling of my name.... :D
Pretty good first chapter, but it seems to me that it jumps into the story a bit too quickly. You need to set the scene a little better. Maybe in the next chapter.
I felt that way when writing it, but I am happy with the way it came out. I just didn't want to spend alot of time on Ziost. Things will start slowing down in the story.
There were a few errors, didn't see any spellings but there are missing words and stuff. You could do with reading through it a few times.
I ran a spell and grammar checker on the story before posting. Please tell me if words are missing, since me being the writer it is dificult to see mistakes.
Darth Rivan is far too much like Darth Revan. It's not very original and it could be confusing for people.
This has been a problem for alot of people, and I hope to clear it up in my story.
Sometimes spell checkers fail to tip out your mistakes. Like my fic, CSI series, I ran spell check, but they can't pick up my mistakes, and a lot of people tell me that I made mistakes in my fic...
Keep up, nice avartar.
Sometimes spell checkers fail to tip out your mistakes. Like my fic, CSI series, I ran spell check, but they can't pick up my mistakes, and a lot of people tell me that I made mistakes in my fic...
Keep up, nice avartar.
Yeah, then the checkers try to make changes that are not needed.
As a Dark Force user like you, if you want, you could PM me the story and i'll proof read it and make sure there are no mistakes, if you want me to. But if not then ok... if you want me to, then PM me.
^^^
Sounds good. I'll send you something when I get more done.
did you ever decide how your going to get your crystal?
yeah he did, he's gonna synthesis it. to make the process more of a ritual
^^^
Yeap! I have something special planned for it.:D
A heads up to every one that has already read the prologue and first chapter, I have decided to revise chapter 1 by adding new details, and more activities. I have also decided to merge what I have got writen for chapter 2 with chapter 1. I've got alot of new ideas and will surely get them out.
Keep watching my first post for the big change.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I have revised my Fanfic. The Prologue and the Revised version of chapter one is up and ready. Please enjoy and let me know of any mistakes. :D
Good, it is good, despite it being about the Darkside of the Force.... :p
^Well if I can get it all out of my head in time, it will be ready in a few days.
Oo, very nice job with this chapter man. Can't wait for the next one, so... hurry it up. ^-^
Keep up the good work!
(btw, bane owns all)..
']Oo, very nice job with this chapter man. Can't wait for the next one, so... hurry it up. ^-^
Keep up the good work!
(btw, bane owns all)..
Today, I got the new Darth Bane book, so I shall see how good he is. Looking foward to more still.
Well after all this time I finally got the second chapter finished and posted. For those who were waiting for it...sorry it has taken so long. Hope you all enjoy.
I will be writing chapter 3 soon. I know that the new Darth Bane book will be out soon, so I might wait until after I have read the new book before writing my new chapter.
Also if you see any mistakes be sure to let me know.
Dude great story it really grabbed my attention. U were also really smart to take on the Darth Bane topic. Most people don't do that.
Dude great story it really grabbed my attention. U were also really smart to take on the Darth Bane topic. Most people don't do that.
Thanks. I agree with you, Darth Bane is a vital part in the EU and not too many people seem to be all that interested. It was surprising to see Path of Destruction come out and even more hearing about the new one on the way.
I forgoI forgot all about this story.
I had to read the Prologue and Chapter 1 again, haha.
Great work with both chapters.
I loved the Path of Destruction book, and although there is a sequel on its way, I still think that this would make a good sequeal also.
I hope you add another chapter up soon :)
Wonderful story!! You really have me caught, so keep up the great work.
More chapters please!
you are an excellent writer i feel the darkside strong in you i hope you continue your writing and may the force be with you.
Holy cow!!! I'm a bit new to these forums, opened this thread because there was a new post today. I didn't look at the date of the OP till the subject of reading DB:Path of Destruction came up. I can't believe you wrote this prior to reading that book! When I was done with PoD THIS is what I was expecting to read for the sequel!
GREAT JOB:thumbs:
Sad to say, I can no longer continue writing this FIC of mine. I just have not had the time lately. So to those who have read, commented, and asked for more sorry! But I WILL NOT have this thread locked just in case I change my mind. ;)
On a good note I will continue to utilize my writing abilities and will be writing some short FICs.
EDIT: I will be adding chapter 3 very soon!
Okay, well thanks for notification. That is much appretiated. I must say that I can't wait for another one of your fics. Thanks again for the update, it is sad to hear though.
~Rev