My fic takes place after Kotor, after Kotor II and after Revan comes back from the Unknown regions, and Exile and co. is with them. Enjoy!

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Prologue

STAR WARS
THE UNEXPECTED DARK LORD
Revan had defeated the threat of the True Sith in the Unknown Regions and returned to the people he knows and loves. The Exile, Rick, had stopped Darth Traya and her plans to destroy the Force. He had also returned with his friends, and now work in the same Jedi Temple as Revan and co. Coruscant. Life was going well, no massive Sith invasion, there are quite a few Sith though, but no threat. But that was going to change, in the not to far future.

Nice Prologue, though slightly short. Unknown was spelt wrong, but other than that, it was fine.

Spelling error fixed, and it seems your the only one replying to my fics/poems.Hmmm. Anywho, part 1. And could you be the critic guy for my chapters Pottsie. Thanx.

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Chapter 1- The Rumour

As the Sith assassin fell to Revan, he muttered the words, "You cannot stop the prophecy, one of you weak Jedi shall bring your order crashing down." and died. Revan looked to his right to see the one he loved, Bastila Shan, cut down another Sith assassin, to his left the ex-exile used the Force to bring down another Sith assassin. Blood was coming from a cut in his forehead, making his short, brown hair turn red.
"Rick, you're bleeding." commented Revan.
"Oh my goodness, i'm going to die." taunted Rick.
"You know, you could come up with a better comeback. Anyway, lets head back."
"Not before fighting again." put in Bastila, spotting another group of Sith assassins, "You guys must love Nar Shaddaa." The assassins attacked, but they were of no concern, and soon, the group was back at the Ebon Hawk.
"About time you got back." said the old Jedi Master, Jolee Bindo, "And Rick, you're bleeding."
"Must everyone say that? No, wait, don't answer that."
"Where to next O great Revan?"
"Bastila, for the thousandth time DON"T call me great, just Revan." said Revan, kissing Bastila on the cheek, "Lets head back to Coruscant."
The next day, they left Nar Shaddaa for Coruscant, after another couple of days, they made it.
They were immediately greeted by a young Jedi apprentice, who told Revan that Master Vandar wanted to speak with him.
"I'll be their right away."
"Revan." said Bastila, "I have a bad feeling about this."
"Don't worry, what could possibly go wrong?"
"I have a bad feeling too."
"Great, first Bastila has a bad feeling, now you, whose next? Zaalbar?"
"Hey!" yelled Zaalbar in a traditional Wookie roar.
"Don't worry, nothing will go wrong." He kissed Bastila, and walked off towards Master Vandar's quarters.
He walked in where he saw Master Vandar meditating.
"Master Vandar, you wished to see me?"
"Yes, I did Master Revan, I have heard of a Sith uprising on Korriban, I would like you to go see what's happening, you may take Bastila and Rick ONLY."
"As you wish Master Vandar, when will I leave?"
"You don't have to go until tomorrow. Until then, do what you please, train, meditate or relax, it doesn't matter."
"Yes Master, is that all?"
"Yes, that is all, you are dismissed, and may the Force be with you."
Revan walked to the main relaxation room where Bastila and Rick were waiting for him.
"I told you nothing would go wrong, we just have to go to Korriban and check out something about a stirring within the Sith."
"When do we leave?"
"Tomorrow, and only us three are allowed to go."
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I know, it's a bit short, but the next one will be longer, Chapter 2 will be posted soon.

Nicely written, some spelling errors hit me occasionally, and some grammartical issue, such as "'Don't worry, what could possibly go wrong?'" I don't know who said this sentence? But I think it's Jolee Bindo or Juhani or Rick. It's too vague.

But in all, it's a good chapter. Looking forward to see more.

BTW, showing hospitality to newcomers are Pottsie's MO--He always do that, which means he is a totally light-sided Jedi Master.

BTW, showing hospitality to newcomers are Pottsie's MO--He always do that, which means he is a totally light-sided Jedi Master.

CSI, how did you know that? And thanks for putting my Hotel Mystery story in your Sig.

But keeping on-topic, the Chapter was good, like CSI said, some spelling errors but not as bad as I've seen in the past. Of course I will be your critic guy, I usually read most Fics here. Looking foward to more.

Next Chapter out this week, hopefully. And for all people who are wondering, where is this person? Here is a list of where they all are:

Kotor
Carth:Around, doesn't travel with Revan anymore, commander of Republic
Canderous:Still wit Revan/is NOT Mandalore
HK:Wit Revan
T3:Wit Revan
Jolee:Wit Revan
Juhani:Around, wit Revan sometimes
Zaalbar:Wit Revan
Mission:Wit Revan
Bastila:In love/ wit Revan

Kotor II
Brianna: Wit Exile
Mical: Around
GOTO: Gone KABOOM!
Atton: Probably getting stoned on Nar-Shaddaa
Bao-Dur:Around
Remote:KABOOM!
Kreia:Deceased, well duh
Visas: Died while fighting Nihilus
Mira: On Nar-Shaddaa getting stoned wit Atton

So now you know where the people are in my fic. :)

It's your choice overall, but I really don't think let Visas die is a good idea, nor you let Mira and Atton stay in Nar Shaddaa is a good idea, too.

But it's all my opinion. You may go ahead and ignore it. Still looking forward to see Chapter 2.

[Edited: I later found out it's Chapter 2. Sorry.]

BTW, are you an English? I noted that your "rumour" is an English spelling. No offense meant.

No, i'm Croatian living in Australia, and that wasn't chapter 2, i'm just listing where the people are in my fic, Chapter 2 probably out this week. And maybe Mira and Atton will be back? Their not gonna stay on Nar-Shaddaa foreva you know.

No, i'm Croatian living in Australia, and that wasn't chapter 2, i'm just listing where the people are in my fic, Chapter 2 probably out this week. And maybe Mira and Atton will be back? Their not gonna stay on Nar-Shaddaa foreva you know.

Yeah, but seriously...I think you should bring Visas back to life...But it's your fic however.

Yeah, but seriously...I think you should bring Visas back to life...But it's your fic however.

Is it because she is Nihilus' apprentice? Visas isn't the greatest character in the TSL crew for me. But as CSI says, do what you want. If you change your Fic for people, it doesn't make it your Fic anymore. I read that from somewhere on LF.

Is it because she is Nihilus' apprentice? Visas isn't the greatest character in the TSL crew for me. But as CSI says, do what you want. If you change your Fic for people, it doesn't make it your Fic anymore. I read that from somewhere on LF.

Yeah, but she's not my apprentice. Looking forward to see more chapter coming out.

Here it is, chapter 2. Enjoy! :)

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Chapter 2-On Korriban

Revan, Bastila and Rick walked through the Dreshdae settlement covered completely, including face, in a brown cloak so that no-one would recognize them. They were about to walk into the Academy when they got stopped by the Sith guard.
"Stop, only Sith are allowed to enter at this time."
"You will let us in."Said Revan, trying to Force persuade the guard.
"Don't give me that rubbish, you are not allowed to enter and that's final!"
Revan let out a sigh before stunning the Sith with the Force, then making him forget that they were ever there. They walked through the Academy heading to the door which leads to the Valley of the Dark Lords where the Sith are gathering.
"Revan." whispered Rick, "Are you sure that this is a good idea, what if they find out who we are?"
Revan riplied in a cool tone, as usual, "We won't let them." They finally found the door leading to the Valley, and walked through, there was a fairly large gathering of Sith there, and, what looked like their leader, stood up on a platform and started talking.
"My fellow Sith, the prophecy is near, our enemy shall become our ally, and we will bring down the Jedi order!"
There was a large cheer from the crowd.
Revan leaned closer to Rick and asked, "What is this 'prophecy' they're talking about?"
"According to legend, one of the Jedi shall willfully turn on the Jedi, join the Sith and make an army powerful enough to destroy the Jedi and the Republic. Never believed in it though, probably never will.""Guys, something's happening." Said Bastila, pointing to the leader. The leader picked up this tiny, sun-looking object, probably a rare artifact, and lifted it up into the air. He said something in the True Sith language, and the oblect disappeared.
"Revan, what did he say?" Asked Bastila.
"He said "Through the Sith spirits of old, let this artifact engulf The One and bring him to power"."
"When did you learn the True Sith language?" Asked Rick.
"When I was battling them, when else?"
The leader started again, "The artifact has chosen, he will come soon!" There was another large cheer from the crowd. The group had heard enough and started to head back to the Ebon Hawk when a Sith yelled out "That's Revan and two other Jedi!" Everybody gasped while the group looked at each other for a split second, then began running to the Ebon Hawk. They ignited there lightsabers as there were more Sith on thier way to the ship. They began cutting down any Sith they encountered. One unlucky Sith got his nose cut off. By the time they got to the landing pad, the Sith had caught up to them. They began fighting as they boarded the Ebon Hawk. Revan headed to the gun turrets as Bastila charged up the engine. They managed to take to the sky, but before Rick could board, the Sith took him. But he did not go down without a fight. He swung his blue lightsaber knocking away some Sith. He managed to decapitate one and sever anothers leg. But it was not enough. There were too many of them, and in the end, they took hostage. But Revan and Bastila could do nothing to save him. They flew back to Coruscant.
"Don't worry Bas, they won't kill him, they want him to turn to the Darkside and use him against us. And we will come back for him, I promise." Revan said, kissing Bastila.
"I hope you're right, I hope you're right."

"Welcome back." Said Canderous when they came back to Coruscant.
"Thanks." Said Revan, walking towards Master Vandar's quarters.
"What's up with him, and where's Rick?" Asked Canderous.
"Rick got captured by the Sith, and Revan's going to tell Master Vandar what happened."
"What happened?" Asked Jolee.
Bastila sighed. "Rick got captured by the Sith."

Revan walked into Master Vandar's quarters.
"What have you found Master Revan?" Asked Master Vandar.
"A prophecy is about to come true. A Jedi is going to join the Sith and destroy the Jedi and Republic. And Rick got captured by the Sith."
"You have done well Master Revan, go now, I will figure out a course of action by tomorrow."
"As you wish Master Vandar." With that, Revan walked out of the room.

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Chapter 3 out soon. And come on people, reply, I don't care if you give good or bad comments.

OK, OK! I am replying, man!

Good chapter though. But I think you should emphasize on Rick being caught. I sense a plot that Rick would turn on Dark Side and being redeemed by Revan.

Besides, can you also collaborate more on the dueling between Sith and Revan, Bastila? That part looks good, but you just mentioned it a little bit?

Overall, I think it's a good chapter. Keep up.

You think wise, but do you think wrong? That is the question. And I meant other people who read my fic should reply. And I will put more fighting in the next chapter. And nice avatar. Yay, Santa Nihilus is coming.

Thanks. How's your chapter now? Sorry if heard like pushing you around.

I added some lines to the escape and Ricks capture. And it didn't sound like pushing around. And thanx 4 the reviews. :)

I added some lines to the escape and Ricks capture. And it didn't sound like pushing around. And thanx 4 the reviews. :)

No problem, but I don't write the review...just suggestions.

Look, the part of capture of Rick is much better. Keep up. Do you have any sneak preview? :D

Another tip for a good writing: Not only use eyes to "see" them, use other feelings such as nose, ear (Which is most common sensation other than eye, trust me.), and more indirect descriptions through these sense organs, like:

Rick fought feriously with his lightsaber. His Jedi Weapon Master statues granted him a near-perfect swordmanship. With a slash, "Ahhhh..." An anoymous(I know it's spelled wrong, but I don't know how to spell correctly) Sith leg was cut down...But there were too many of them. Revan and Bastila had to watch the scenerio of Rick was being devoured by the waves of Sith Marauders and Sith Lords.

"No! Rick! No!" Bastila shouted and ignited her lightsaber.

"No, Bastila! Rick will be fine." Revan said calmly.

"What?! He (Correct me if Rick is a 'she'.) was being held hostage by Sith! They will turn Rick to darkside in no time!" Bastila said, a little loud.

"Think! Bastila, think! What can you do in this situation?!" Revan comforted Bastila by pulling her to his side, "If we jump in, and we'll be devoured by the army, too."

...

Above is just my imagination. The choice is yours. (In other words, you're the One.):D

Here is a quick snippet.
"What is it my Lord?"Said a Sith minion.
"They are hear."Said a mysterious man in a brown cloak with hood. "They are coming to save him. Make sure they live."
"As you wish my Lord."
Chapter 3 out soon. And u got it right, the Exile is a guy.

Here is a quick snippet.
"What is it my Lord?"Said a Sith minion.
"They are hear."Said a mysterious man in a brown cloak with hood. "They are coming to save him. Make sure they live."
"As you wish my Lord."
Chapter 3 out soon. And u got it right, the Exile is a guy.

You mean swarms of Jedi came to save Rick, the Exile?

Heh. Nice preview, though. Looking forward to see Ch. 3.

Chapter 3 out in the next couple of days. Oh, and CSI, would you mind if I borrowed some of those lines you used before in the next few chapters?

Chapter 3 out in the next couple of days. Oh, and CSI, would you mind if I borrowed some of those lines you used before in the next few chapters?

No, feel free to use it. You don't even have to accredit me. It's just my opinion.

Actually, he does need to give you credit--they're your ideas. And good job to Darth_Kotor for thinking about that! --Jae

Nicely done. I like the story so far, and waiting for the next chap :D

And ... Yay, another Aussie! :D:D

@Mr_BFA:Thanx, and Aussies rule!

Yay! The next chapter.

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Chapter 3-The rescue

Revan walked into the meeting room where the others were waiting.
"'Bout time you came." Said Canderous. "This meeting should've started five minutes ago."
"Quit your complaining." Replied Revan. "I came as soon s I could."
"This is not the time to argue, we have a meeting." Said Joee.
"Right." Revan stood up. "As you are all aware, Rick has been captured. Usually, a Jedi who has been captured by the Sith is already dead by now, but the Sith have very little numbers and need all the allies they can get. So I believe that they are trying to turn him. Knowing Rick, he wouldn't have turned yet. We need to get him out. You might think why is a single Jedi this important. It is because we are fairly low on numbers too. We have to save him."
"And how do you expect us to do that?" Asked Canderous.
"That's easy." Said Revan. "We use Hk's way, by force."
"Delighted statement: Thank you master, I am willing to blow what ever you want into millions of charred pieces."
Revan continued. "Canderous, you and HK will go first, I want you to blow any Sith you see away. Mission..." Before Revan could finish, two old friends walked through the door. Brianna stood up to greet them.
"Well look who it is." Said Brianna, in a delighted tone. "Atton and Mira, haven't seen you two in a long, long time. Where have you been?"
Atton spoke first. "Happy to see you too, we've been on Nar-Shaddaa ever since that old witch got destroyed on that freaky green planet. What's going on here?"
"Whe're having a meeting as to how to save Rick from the Sith." Answered Revan.
"Oh yeah, how is Rick. Maybe we could be of some assistance."
"Okay, by the looks of things you're a Jedi and scoundrel, and she's a Jedi and bounty hunter. Mission, Atton and Mira will try to sneak in. Jolee will be back up, Brianna, Zaalbar and Juhani will go through the side, and me and Bastila will try to exploit a weakness."
"Beep-beep, boop beep?"
"Ah yes, where can T3 go, you can try to hack the computer system. We leave tomorrow.

The next day, as everybody was getting ready to leave, Bastila was having second thoughts.
"Bas?" Asked Revan, "What's wrong?"
"Revan, what if we fail, or he's dead?"
"He won't be dead, I already told you the reason."
"And if we fail?"
"We have to try, now come on, we're leaving."
While everybody was boarding the ship, Revan got a message from Carth Onasi.
"Revan, take some Republic soldiers with you, you're going to need them."
Out side, quite a large group of soldiers were boarding there own ships.
"I was wondering what they where doing." Whispered Revan. "Alright, soldiers, you will try to force the Sith defenses down, use any means necessary, sabotage or pointless murder, I don't care, just get the job done." Revan walked into the cockpit, "Are we ready to go?"
"We leave when you say." Said Atton.
"Okay, lets go."
The small fleet of ships rose off the ground and flew out into space.

After a few hours they were near Korriban. They dropped out of hyperspace, getting ready to land. They knew it would not be easy, but it had to be done. As soon as they entered the atmosphere, turrets started firing at them. One blaster shot narrowly missed a Republic ship, another was not so lucky. It got shot and plummeted to the ground in an extraordinary mixture of red and oange flames. The Ebon Hawk curved it's way in between the fire. It was the first ship to land. Soon after, the Republic ships followed.

"What is it my Lord?"Said a Sith minion.
"They are hear."Said a mysterious man in a brown cloak with hood. "They are coming to save him. Make sure they live."
"As you wish my Lord."

Revan and co. began their assualt on the academy were Rick was being held. The Sith offered quite a powerful resistance. Mission, Atton and Mira began sneaking through the back. Atton ignited his lightsaber and sliced off a Sith's leg. Mission pulled out her blasters and shot down some Sith while Mira was providing backup with the Force. Bianna, Zaalbar and Juhani began their assualt on the sides. They managed to find a door leading inside but it is crawling with Sith. They were about to force their way inside when T3 hacked the Sith computers and overloaded a power conduit, killing most of the Sith protecting the hallway. Canderous, HK and most of the Republic soldiers began attacking the main entrance. Sith minions and Dark Jedi began appearing from hidden doors. Revan and Bastila joined the fray. They sliced down a few Dark Jedi when someone threw a grenad. It bombed the Sith giving the heroes a bit more breathing space. As Bastila killed a Dark Jedi, another one came up behind her about to deliver the killing blow. Revan used th Force to push Bastila aside, making the Dark Jedi narrowly miss. Revan charged at him and decapitated him. Canderous began bnlasting the massive door to the Academy in the hopes of blowing it apart. Mission had discovered a way in through the back. Atton and Mira stayed outside to make sure no-one followed her. She came inside the Academy where she saw Brianna slice down a Sith. Brianna told Zaalbar and Juhani to come inside. Mission went with them. Canderous had succeded in blowing down the door, and a few Sith with it. Jolee unleashed a force wave bowling over the enemy. Revan and Bastila ran inside to meet up with the other people.
"Canderous, HK." He said. "You two stay out here with the Republic soldiers making sure no-one follows us. The rest of us lets split up."
Revan ran down the south corridor with force speed. He ran so fast that the Sith had little reaction time. He made it to the Academy's head Sith room, but Rick was not their. Bastila ran down the north corridor, but all she found was the learning room. Juhani ran down th west corridor, but she found nothing but Sith. She carved them down. When she turned to go back, a Sith Master pulled her back with the Force. Juhani set herself free and turned to face the Sith Master. She swung her saber but the Sith easily blocked it. He swung at Juhani's leg, just barely missing, but he manged to inflict a cut. Revan ran down and systematically killed him. He helped Juhani to her feet.
"You alright?" He asked.
"Yeah, i'll be fine." Brianna ran down the east corridor, she found the interrogation room where Rick was being held.
"Brianna, am I glad to see you."
"So am I. How do I get you out of this cage?"
"Pull the switch on the right."
Brianna did so and the Force cage was lowered.
"Quick, we have to hurry." Said Brianna. They ran back to the centre of the Academy where the others have gathered.
"Come on lets leave." Yelled Revan, and they started running back to their ships.
"Canderous, HK, lets go!" Yelled Brianna. They ran back to their ships. They all boarded the Ebon Hawk, as all the Republivc ships were destroyed. They left Korriban alive.

The ride back to Coruscant was awkwardly silent. Mission had many questions for Rick. But she knew better than to ask.
"We'll be back in twenty minutes." Said Atton from the cockpit.

"Greetings Master Revan." Said Master Vandar when they landed. "Good to see you too, Master Rick."
"I'm glad to be back." He replied.
"Come, you are tired, rest now, and tomorrow we shall talk." Master Vandar left. And so did everyone else. Bastila went off to the garden to meditate. Revan followed her.
"Bastila, I have something to ask you."
"What is it Revan?"
Revan got down on one knee and pulled a small box out of his pocket. He opened it reavealing a diamond ring.
"Bastila." He started. "WIll you marry me?"
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Quite a long chapter that. Hope you enjoyed it. :) Chapter 4 out soon.

Very, very good chapter. The contents are enriched and so is length. Keep up and looking forward to see your new chapter.

Off topic: I'm glad that Carth didn't come along in Ebon Hawk, or it will turn like this:
http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/7499/attoncarth4ic7to8.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)
Thanks for Shem for letting me to use his image.

Thanx CSI. And now i'm glad I didn't bring Carth along. :D

Good Chapter Darth_Kotor and your longest yet. Carth is glad to bring along, he is one of the best dual blaster pistol gunmen in KOTOR. The image is a funny one from Shem in the Telos Picture Thread (Forgot what it is called). I'm looking foward to more.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that you can seperate the dialogs. I mean, double-space the dialogs between people.

Thanx guys. Chap 4 out this week.

Chapter 4. And I will only post new chapters on weekends from now on. And come on Jae, you're editing posts but not replying, what's that all about? And any credit I give will be posted when I finish the fic.

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Chapter 4-Pain for all

Brianna cried out in pain as she fell to the mysterious Sith's blade. His cloak completely covering his face. Who was he? Bastila and Revan were the only ones left standing in his way. The rest were dead. He attacked...

Revan woke up. He was all sweaty from his nightmare. He looked to his right. Lying next to him is Bastila, the one he loves. His soon-to-be wife. Revan got up. It was only 5o'clock in the morning. He walked to the kitchen of the Jedi temple where he started making a cup of Trandoshan coffee when Master Vandar walked in.
"Something bothering you, perhaps?" He asked.
"Actually Master Vandar, yes, their is." Revan replied.
"Tell me about what's bothering you."
"I, I just feel like their was something more for the capture of Rick. Something we didn't notice. Something deadly."
"What else could their possibly be? Rick is here now, no longer with Sith."
"You're probably right, it's probably nothing. I should get back to bed." Revan finished his coffee and walked back to his room.

"Come on Revan, we haven't got all day!" Yelled Bastila in frustration.
"I'm coming." Replied Revan.
"I am only allowed to see my mother for 2 hours a day and you're messing around wasting it."
"We still have an hour and forty-five minutes. How much longer do you need?"
Bastila didn't reply, she just kept walking to the reception.
"I am here to visit my mother." Told Bastila to the lady at the reception.
"Name?" She asked.
"Helena Shan."
"Okay, here we go..." She paused for a moment. "I'm so sorry, but it seems she passed away 2 days ago."
"She's...gone?" Bastila asked. She broke out in tears. Revan wrapped his arms around Bastila trying to comfort her.
"I can't believe she's gone."
"Come on Bastila, lets go back to the temple."

Back at the Jedi temple, Rick and the others were having a bit of trouble with a Sith Marauder. He wore a black cloak, his eyes glowing red showing that he was using his rage to attack. A technique all Sith Marauders have mastered. He was defeating the Jedi with ease. Revan and Bastila came back just in time. They joined the fray.
"How can you guys be having trouble with one Sith?" Revan asked himself. But he soon found out. He was more powerful than any adversary he ever fought. More so than Malak or any True Sith. The marauder lunged at Rick who blocked and counterd with an attack of his own. But he was over-powered. Rick flew to the wall. Jolee, who had all but mastered the Force, attempted to blow him back with a Force wave. But it had no effect. He was completely resistant to the Force. He went to decapitate Jolee, but Master Vandar blocked the attack. But he was left vulnerabale. The Sith stabbed Master Vandar straight through the heart. He fell on the floor, lifeless.
"Master Vandar!" Bastila yelled out. She had lost two people who were close to her in one day. "You'll pay for that!"
"Bastila no!" Revan screamed out. The Sith went to slice off bastila's legs, but she jumped over his blade. Rick regained hias consciousness. He attacked aswell. But he and Bastila only got knocked back.
"Now you know the power of the Dark Side!" He said. "But I cannot kill you, masters orders. But I will give you a present." He dived at Revan, cutting off his left arm. He ran for the door and left.
Revan fell on his knees in pain. So did Bastila who felt the pain through their bond.
Canderous, Zaalbar, Mission, Atton, Mira and HK walked through the door. Canderous started speaking.
"Hey guys, we're back from Onder... what the hell happened here?"
"We were attacked."Said Brianna. Revan got up.
"Revan." Bastila said in a worried tone. "Don't over do it, it will make the pain worse."
"Don't worry, i'm gonna go lie down."
"Threat:If anyone touches the Master consider yourselves charcoal meatbags."
Everyone just ignored him. Bastila and Rick went with Revan.
"We're gone for a day and already bad stuff happens." Said Atton. "Who want's to play pazaak?" They walked off to the lounge room.

"Rick." Revan started. "Who was that Sith?"
"I have no idea." He replied. Bastila gently kissed Revan on the forehead.
"Feeling better?" She asked
"Yep." Revan sat up. He used the Force to control the amount of pain he feels. "I feel like I know that Sith from somewhere." Revan thought for a moment before continuing. "That's it! He served under me in the Mandalorian wars. Matgr was his name."
"He served under you?" Asked Rick.
"Yeah, he was in the attack on Dxun. But I thought he died."
"Well he seems very much alive." Said Bastila.
"Roaaaaarrrrrrr!" They heard Zaalbar roar from the lounge room. They ran in that direction. Mission was lying on the floor.
"What happened?" Asked Revan.
Mira spoke up. "Atton lost his credits at pazaak, so he threw away his blaster and it fired prematurely and hit Mission." Revan bent over Missions body. He put two of his fingers on her neck.
"She's alive." He said, "She still has a pulse."
"Quick, we have to get her to a hospital!" Said Rick They ran to where the swoop bikes were held.
"Put her in one of those ambulance swoop bikes. I'll drive." Said Revan. They shot off heading towards the hospital.

Revan carried Mission to the front desk.
"We need help. She got hit by a blaster that went off prematurely." Said Revan
"Follow me." said the receptionist. As they walked down the corridor, they passed Helana's old room. Bastila stopped. She stared at the now empty bed. Suddenly, in front of Bastila, Helena had appeared. The Force was giving them one last chance to say goodbye.
"Mum, I..." She couldn't finish the sentence.
"Don't worry about me, I have done all I could to help you, now you take charge of your own life."
"So is this, goodbye?" Asked Bastila, with a tear running down the side of her face.
"Yes, it is."
"Goodbye mother."
"Goodbye." Helena disappeared. Bastila was back in the hospital. She ran to catch up with the others.
Mission was laying in the bed with some sort of medical computer attached to her.
"Nurse, will she be alright?" Revan asked.
"She'll be fine." She replied, "She just needs some rest."
"Revan repeated that to Zaalbar who gave a nod of approval. The group went back to the temple.
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Another chapter under the belt. Hope you enjoyed it. :)

Very, very good chapter. Looking forward to see more. And by the way, can you split the dialogs? And I love the dueling part. It sure improved a lot.

Good chapter Darth but when you finish quoting someone and your gonna put something like said blah blah blah, put a space inbetween it, it makes it a hell of a lot easier to read. Like this:

"Bastila! Come back to the Light!" Revan yelled over the Starforge's noise.

I'll do just that RevanSithMaster. And CSI, what do you mean?

I'll do just that RevanSithMaster. And CSI, what do you mean?

My opinion is exactly the same as my rival, RevanSithMaster.

Oh, OK i'll do just that.

Great work so far Darth! And leaving the cliff hanger at the end of that chap, as to see whether Bastilla will say 'yes' or 'no' is great. Wonder what she'll say???? lol.
Once again, nice work, and keep em coming! :D

Uh, if your talking about when Revan asked Bastila to marry him, she said yes. First line of chapter 4
'The one he loves, his soon-to-be wife.'

Uh, if your talking about when Revan asked Bastila to marry him, she said yes. First line of chapter 4
'The one he loves, his soon-to-be wife.'

Ahh .. would ya look at that! *Heh, awkward* lol, i like .. .completely missed that whole chapter! :O How, i do not know ... anyways, i just read it, and i stick by what i said just before. Great work :D

*Runs and hides*

*Runs after him with a baseball bat*
And thanx 4 the comments.

Another good Chapter as always. This Thread has been updated a lot since I've been away for a night.

Thanx 4 the comments Pottsie. And I fixed some spelling errors and added spaces after dialogue.

Finally, another chapter. Enjoy! :)

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Chapter 5-Mysteries

"Mission, are you okay?" Asked Revan.
"Yeah." Mission replied, "Just a little dizzy." She got out of her bed and walked to the main room of the temple. Atton was sitting there watching a holo-disk. He stood up.
"Mission," He started, "I'm sorry I shot you, I didn't mean to."
"Hey, don't worry about it, everybody makes mistakes." She replied. Revan walked into the room with Bastila. They were arguing about Revan's arm. Bastila was saying he should get a robotic arm to replace his chopped-off arm, Revan saying he doesn't need a replacement arm. Revan started speaking.
"We have an order of supplies on Kashyyyk that needs to be picked up, we need three people to go and pick it up, any volunteers?" He asked. Mission and Atton immediately shot their hands up.
"Good that's two, but we need three." Revan repeated. Rick's hand went up aswell.
"Good." Said Revan. "You leave in three hours." Revan and Bastila walked off, you could hear them talking about their wedding, it is one week away.

Rick, Atton and Mission boarde the ship they have been supplied with. It was fairly big, about three quarters the size of the Ebon Hawk. On the side of the ship, it's name is written in cursive. "Escalade".
"Atton." Said Rick, "I'll pilot."
"Your choice, just don't screw up." Replied Atton.
Rick got the Escalade off the ground and into hyperspace. He punched in Kashyyyks' co-ordinates and put the ship on auto-pilot.
"Two hours until we get there, best get comfy." Said Rick. The three spent most of their time playing pazaak, with Rick winning. The rest of the time was spent chatting and drinking alcohol. The time flew past, and soon, they were at Kashyyyk. Rick brought the ship into the docking space. Freyyr came out to greet them. "RRRRRRRR." He said. His translator transleted that into galactic basic. "Welcome followers of Revan. Him and any of his friends are always welcome here."
"GGGGRRRRROOOOOOO."
"The supplies you ordered are in my village, would you like me to get them for you?"
Rick nodded, and the followed Freyyr to their village. Everybody was greeting them and sayng thank you for getting rid if Czerka. They soon made it to the village. Freyyr walked into his hut and soon came out with three barrels of supplies. Rick, Atton and Mission took one barrel each, and walked back to the Escalade. "Goodbye!" They yelled.
"ROOOOOAAAARRRRR."
The translator spoke. "Goodbye."
They loaded the cargo onto the ship, and prepared to take off. Rick took the ship into hyperspace, but he was going somewhere else besides Coruscant.
"Rick?" Atton asked, "Where are you going?"
"You'll see." He replied.
"No, we are heading back to Coruscant this instant!" Rick froze Atton and Mission with stasis.
"There is something I must do." Rick walked into the cargo hold where he put on a brown robe.

Revan and Bastila were in the garden meditating when they recieved a message from Rick.
"Revan, come to Korriban quick, I have found something!" The transmission ended.
"What was that all about?" Asked Bastila.
"I don't know, but it sounded important. Come on, lets go."
Revan and Bastila went to their ship two person ship.
"Canderous, tell Jolee we're going to Coruscant." Sadi Revan.
"Sure." Replied Canderous, "Good luck with whatever you're doing.

On Korriban, in the Valley of the Dark Lords, a mysterious Sith in a brown robe completely covering his face, was talking to Matgr, the Sith marauder who attacked the temple.
"They are coming." Said the mysterious Sith. "I want them destroyed. I am going to Mustafar where we are all gathering, I want you there when Revan has been destroye."
"As you wish, my lord." Said Matgr. The other Sith walked to the place where his ship was being held. He flew to Mustafar, leaving Matgr nothing to do but wait. But he didn't have to wait long. Revan and Bastila landed with their ship, they hopped out.
"What do you think Rick found?" Bastila asked Revan.
"I don't know. Bastila look out!" Revan pushed Bastila aside, making a bolt of Force lighting narrowly miss her.
Matgr walked out of the shadows.
"You." Said Revan.
"Yes, me. How is your arm? Oh wait, I chopped it off." He ignited his double-bladed lightsaber. Revan and Bastila did the same.
"This shall be the place of your death Revan!" He yelled. He ran at Revan swing his lightsaber. Revan parried, and continued with a flurry of his own. Matgr pushed Revan away with the Force, he went to follow him but he was stopped by Bastila. She swung at Matgrs' head, but he ducked and kicked Bastila in the shin. Revan tried to hit him from behind, but Matgr dodged, getting just a cut on his shoulder. Matgr closed his eyes and opend them. His eyes turned red. He was using rage. He jumped over Revan's attack and stabbed him in the side of the leg, he then tried to stab Bastila, but she blocked his attack. Bastila tried to put Matgr in a Force whirlwind, but it had no effect. He froze Bastila in place with a stasis. He turned around in time to see Revan running towards him. He used the Force to summon a Force wave, knocking Revan into the wall. Bastila may have been frozen, but she could clearly see what was happening. Revan was on the ground leaning against the wall. It was at that moment, the she saw something she had never seen before. Fear. Their was fear in Revan's eyes.
"You are scared Revan, fear. Fear is a powerful ally, it makes you strike to kill. But that is a lesson that you shall never learn, for today, you will die." Matgr raised his blade, ready to deliver the final blow. As his blade went down, Revan rolled out of the way. He stood up and, using the Force, made some loose rocks hanging above Matgr, fall on top of him. At that moment, Bastila un-froze.
"Come on Bastila, we have to go, those rocks won't hold him." They ran to their ship. Revan punched in the co-ordinates for Coruscant.
"Where is Rick?" Revan asked himself. They left Korriban and headed to Coruscant. Behind them, the rocks covering Matgr, started moving. They finally flew in different directions. Matgr was standing there. "I'll get you for this Revan!" He shouted. He walked to his ship.

The mysterious Sith had just landed on Mustafar. He was standing on a platform so all the Sith could see him. He is their leader. He took off his hood. It was... Rick.
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Their goes another chapter. :D

Good Chapter..... but you made it obvious that Rick was the Sith Lord.... if you hadn't have said that he put on a brown robe and that he was talking to the "Assassin" then the ending of that chapter would have been a great suprise.... It would have also been a blow to the Republic.....

Thanx 4 the comment. And yea, I guess I did make it kinda obvious. Ah well.

good chapter, cant wait to see how revan takes the news...lol.

He'll be like, "OMG! WAT IN BLAZES! HE'S GOIN' DOWN!"
Next chapter might be out on Friday.

lol... i would bet cant wait for the next chapter!

Nice, (burps) nice chapter! Can't wait to see more!

Can Rick be turned back?

HOW DARE YOU BURP IN THE PRESENCE OF AKUMASF! I'LL SHAKE MY FIST AT YOU! :fist:
I wonder, can Rick be turned back? Only time, or the next few chapters will tell.

(hiccup)........ Good......... (hiccup)..........Job........(hiccup).......Akumas .........(hiccup)!