Note: LucasForums Archive Project
The content here was reconstructed by scraping the Wayback Machine in an effort to restore some of what was lost when LF went down. The LucasForums Archive Project claims no ownership over the content or assets that were archived on archive.org.

This project is meant for research purposes only.

The Newbie Handbook

Page: 1 of 2
 Thrawn
11-18-2000, 1:50 AM
#1
Here are a few rules that Darth Sceltor and I came up with. Feel free to add on.
<P align="center">"How not to make the whole forum hate you"</P>
1.DON'T SAY THAT YOU'RE A NEWBIE!
2.DON'T SAY YOU'RE A FRIEND OF MILKSHAKE!
3.TRY NOT TO MORE STUPID THAN NUTE! IT MAKES HIM SAD!
4. LEARN HOW TO SPELL AND TYPE (FIND SHIFT KEY)!
5.LEARN HOW TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR POSTS!
6.DON'T INSERT MINDLESS RANDOM POSTS (THAT'S OUR JOB)!
7.DON'T EVER EVER EVER EXPECT A BGM!
8.IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A BGM IS, THEN REALLY DON'T EXPECT ONE!
9.GET SETI OR DIE!
10.DON'T ASK TO BE A SITH!!!!
11.DON'T ASK WHY THIS IS IN ALL CAPS, I JUST FELT LIKE IT TO DRILL IT INTO YOUR HEADS!
<SMALL>This has been a public forums announcement</SMALL>



------------------
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin
ThRaWn90,RAL_Thrawn,SOB_Thrawn
Rogue 6
 Darth Sceltor
11-18-2000, 2:00 AM
#2
Learn well and heed these rules, newbies.
 Andromeda
11-18-2000, 2:02 AM
#3
heeeyyyy...i never use the shift key...too lazy i guess http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/tongue.gif) but i can spell!!

i'd say also:

DON'T TALK ABOUT STUFF THAT ONLY A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE AROUND HERE UNDERSTAND!!! like inside jokes and stuff, because i think a lot of the "old timers" would agree with me that we really don't care about that stuff.
just keep it on the inside, alright http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif)
 Nute Gunray
11-18-2000, 2:05 AM
#4
Can I be a Sith?

------------------
http://members.aol.com/stormhawk337/jup_sept.gif)
I have a Jedi Sceptre of Universal Obfuscation.
 Thrawn
11-18-2000, 2:05 AM
#5
you go girlfriend!

------------------
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin
ThRaWn90,RAL_Thrawn,SOB_Thrawn
Rogue 6
 Darth Sceltor
11-18-2000, 2:11 AM
#6
12. DON'T BE MAD WHEN OLD TIMERS VIOLATE THESE RULES. WE ARE ABOVE THE LAW.
 Thrawn
11-18-2000, 2:13 AM
#7
and always will be *evil grin*
13.In general, don't act like Nute at ALL. He is a professional.


------------------
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin
ThRaWn90,RAL_Thrawn,SOB_Thrawn
Rogue 6
 Nute Gunray
11-18-2000, 2:16 AM
#8
I spent nine years in a secret government facility in Nevada to learn how to be this way. They were going to use me to destablize the Soviet Union, but the Cold War ended and they lost their funding.

------------------
http://members.aol.com/stormhawk337/jup_sept.gif)
I have a Jedi Sceptre of Universal Obfuscation.
 Darth Sceltor
11-18-2000, 2:16 AM
#9
And as a precaution,

14. NEWBIES CAN'T MAKE RULES!
 Darth Sceltor
11-18-2000, 2:17 AM
#10
Why don't they send you to China now? http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif)
 Nute Gunray
11-18-2000, 2:19 AM
#11
because they lost their funding duh

------------------
http://members.aol.com/stormhawk337/jup_sept.gif)
I have a Jedi Sceptre of Universal Obfuscation.
 Darth Sceltor
11-18-2000, 2:28 AM
#12
They could always divert funds from the little known "Department of Hiring 'Acceptable' Interns".
 Andromeda
11-18-2000, 2:29 AM
#13
i thought of another rule!!

just a tip noobies:

DON'T COME HERE AND TALK ABOUT GIRLS OR HOW TO GET GIRLS OR HOW TO GET A GIRL TO LIKE YOU. that will get closed before it even has a chance to warm up.
 Nute Gunray
11-18-2000, 2:33 AM
#14
but not until after Zargon and I rip you a new one TWICE.

------------------
http://members.aol.com/stormhawk337/jup_sept.gif)
I have a Jedi Sceptre of Universal Obfuscation.
 JR2000Z
11-18-2000, 1:14 PM
#15
Now I know what that is.You guys are SICK!!!
 janek17
11-18-2000, 5:38 PM
#16
as a punk, i take nothing from no-one, but i don't suppose it would work here would it?
 Admiral
11-18-2000, 5:45 PM
#17
Good work. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif)

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb
 Admiral
11-18-2000, 5:56 PM
#18
If you don't think I been around here long enough fine but you will like this rule.

15.)Newbies can never put down Old Timers.

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb
 Commander 598
11-18-2000, 6:33 PM
#19
16:Nute can never make rules because it would hurt peolple old and new and make Nute second in ruleing the Universe.

17:If anyone says there Milkshakes friend they will be dragged out and shot.

18:If anyone calls me a newbie I they will die a slow painful death but I won't let them die i'll keep them alive to torture them.



------------------
The Universe is just a fractal chaos boundry between intersecting lines of high and low power.
Cool huh?
 janek17
11-18-2000, 6:44 PM
#20
<font color="red">DISREGARD THE FOLLOWING RULES, I'M SURE YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WHY.</font>

19: NUTE IS A TARGET FOR WITTY COMMENTS ASWELL AS THE NEWBIES...

20; THE MORE POSTS YOU HAVE MAKE YOU HAVE A HIGHER RANK OVER SOMEONE WITH LESS

21; ALL PUNX ARE TO BE RESPECTED AS A VOLITILE CHEMICAL, NUTE IS TO BE TREATED AS AN UNPLEASENT ONE http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif)

------------------
I am the forum's pet cross dressing punk
(that everyone forgets to feed)

[This message has been edited by Darth Sceltor (edited November 20, 2000).]
 Nute Gunray
11-18-2000, 7:11 PM
#21
I'm advanced beyond all of you with the following exceptions:
Keyan, Andy, rosie, and anyone better than me at MATH

------------------
http://members.aol.com/stormhawk337/jup_sept.gif)
I have a Jedi Sceptre of Universal Obfuscation.
 Rogue Nine
11-18-2000, 7:14 PM
#22
Just so you people know, Sceltor and I are Sith, which means we will close down any and all stupid topics you newbies may start.

We also have the power to ban your worthless newbie ass if necessary. So shape up or ship out.

And janek, your rule number 20 stinks. That does not apply to everyone. Take me and Nute for example. He has waaay more posts than I, but that doesn't rank him higher than me. Another example would be Andy versus any other of you flaming newbies. You may surpass her in posts, but you will never surpass her in rank. <font size=1>You rock, Andy!!!</font> Same goes for Kyp and any others I've missed.

Got it?

<font size=1>Ooh, that felt real good. I should vent more often.</font>
 Commander 598
11-18-2000, 7:14 PM
#23
I know how to make 1 even and i'm not telling you. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/tongue.gif)

------------------
The Universe is just a fractal chaos boundry between intersecting lines of high and low power.
Cool huh?
 Nute Gunray
11-18-2000, 7:17 PM
#24
Originally posted by Rogue Nine:
Take me and Nute for example. He has waaay more posts than I, but that doesn't rank him higher than me.

The only thing you out rank me in is...uh...rank.

Fixed up my quote there and adds this: who's responsible for the introduction of Andy...

------------------
http://members.aol.com/stormhawk337/jup_sept.gif)
I have a Jedi Sceptre of Universal Obfuscation.

[This message has been edited by Nute Gunray (edited November 18, 2000).]
 Admiral Zaarin
11-18-2000, 7:58 PM
#25
22: All newbies must take my Basic and Advanced Insanity<font size=-2><sup>TM</sup></font> courses before posting...

(And, just as a precaution...)

23: Neither Zaarin nor Guen may make any further rules, in case the forums spontaneously burst into flames, explode, melt, etc...

------------------
And what of the Director's Lenses?

The logs show they fled the scene in a shuttle. That is all the information we have sir, there is a high probability that the shuttle was destroyed in the battle.

A shame.....but we'll buy George Lucas another pair of glasses.
 Poor Bastard
11-18-2000, 9:02 PM
#26
These new rules suck.

------------------
You know one thing that will really make a Jedi mad? Just run up and kick him in the ass...
 AceAzzameen
11-18-2000, 10:35 PM
#27
Thanks for jumping on that bogus rule 20, Nine. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif) I was going to have to get a little rowdy with janek. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/mad.gif) I mean, there's about 5 people that still post here that registered before I did. Post count ain't all it's cracked up to be. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/eek.gif)

You're still the man though Nute, with your 5 gazillion posts or whatever it is... http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/rolleyes.gif)

------------------
"With the blast shield down, I can't even see. How am I supposed to fight?"

Rogue Leader 3
aceazzameen@yahoo.com
or manofstele@yahoo.com

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/3129/tiedef.gif)
 Nute Gunray
11-18-2000, 10:45 PM
#28
Post Count=Hit Points in the XWA FORAM RPG GAME.

That's why no one can kill me.

------------------
http://members.aol.com/stormhawk337/jup_sept.gif)
I have a Jedi Sceptre of Universal Obfuscation.
 Admiral
11-18-2000, 10:50 PM
#29
what if someone got more post than you, could that person kill you?

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb
 JR2000Z
11-18-2000, 10:50 PM
#30
He cheated
 Admiral
11-19-2000, 12:36 AM
#31
If post count equalled rank all a Newbie would have to do is make alot of short post then they would then out rank people.

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb
 Thrawn
11-19-2000, 1:03 AM
#32
oh, let's just shoot the newbies. and janek, last i checked, aren't you one of milky's friends?

------------------
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin
ThRaWn90,RAL_Thrawn,SOB_Thrawn
Rogue 6
 Admiral
11-19-2000, 2:13 AM
#33
I don't even know Milk if you mean me. I just came by these forums

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb
 Cmdr. Cracken
11-19-2000, 3:00 AM
#34
24: any newbie caught breaking these rules shall have to live in Nute's house for a year, a punishment dreded through out the universe.... mostly because of the SMELL. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/biggrin.gif)
 Nute Gunray
11-19-2000, 3:14 AM
#35
It doesn't smell here......

it only smells in my brother's room.

------------------
http://members.aol.com/stormhawk337/jup_sept.gif)
I have a Jedi Sceptre of Universal Obfuscation.
 janek17
11-19-2000, 5:20 PM
#36
25; pyromaniacs must be equally respected and should have their own rank depending on how many houses they've burnt down... ummm, that's sith lord for me!!!!!!

------------------
I am the forum's pet cross dressing punk
(that everyone forgets to feed)
 Thrawn
11-19-2000, 7:16 PM
#37
.........

------------------
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin
ThRaWn90,RAL_Thrawn,SOB_Thrawn
Rogue 6
 K_Kinnison
11-19-2000, 9:00 PM
#38
25. Jut because you have low post count does not make you a newbie, it also has to do with the way you act on the forums JANEK
 Poor Bastard
11-19-2000, 9:07 PM
#39
69: Idiots must DIE!!!!1

------------------
You know one thing that will really make a Jedi mad? Just run up and kick him in the ass...
 Admiral
11-19-2000, 10:05 PM
#40
Like PB's rule

------------------
"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb
 Thrawn
11-19-2000, 10:08 PM
#41
yes Janek, heed our warnings

------------------
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin
ThRaWn90,RAL_Thrawn,SOB_Thrawn
Rogue 6
 Darth Sceltor
11-20-2000, 5:42 PM
#42
Durn it noobies, (AHEM JANEK2145!!!!!) read rule #14!
 Thrawn
11-20-2000, 11:37 PM
#43
Thank you DS!

------------------
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin
ThRaWn90,RAL_Thrawn,SOB_Thrawn
Rogue 6
 Rogue Nine
11-20-2000, 11:55 PM
#44
Okay, enough. I will clearly define what newbie is. A newbie is a member who has signed on in the past month or two. A newbie usually tries to start up conversations to make themselves known. Now whether these conversations are good valid conversations or crap is totally up to the newbie. A newbie that actually posts something valid that contributes to the discussion meaningfully will, in all likelihood, be accepted quicker.

And as stated before, the number of posts you have does not make you higher or more important than someone. There are people who have been here since last year who don't have a crazy number of posts, yet they carry more respect than some of you newbies, simply because they have proven they deserve it.

I hope you people seriously consider my advice. If not, you're gonna have a real hard time getting along here. Trust me.
 Darth Sceltor
11-21-2000, 12:12 AM
#45
Yes, listen to R9 you should. Take note of Admiral. He just showed up and started posting sensible, RELEVANT, and acceptable replies. He did not do an "I'm a Newbie" thread and did not try to bring attention to himself, yet he has become a respected member here who is welcome any time. On the other hand, we have the few who bring a bad name to newbies. Please straighten up, or leave on your own. We will not tolerate this sort of behavior any more. You are not being persecuted. You brought this on yourself.

[This message has been edited by Darth Sceltor (edited November 20, 2000).]
 Thrawn
11-21-2000, 12:15 AM
#46
Aww, R9 went all serious on us http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/frown.gif)
But I totally agree with you. I like to think I've achieved a high post count, gained respect, and gotten friends.

------------------
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin
ThRaWn90,RAL_Thrawn,SOB_Thrawn
Rogue 6
 Rogue Nine
11-21-2000, 12:15 AM
#47
Was that approval or disapproval, DS? I couldn't tell...
 Thrawn
11-21-2000, 12:21 AM
#48
WHat's up R9? Haven't talked to you in a while.

------------------
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin
ThRaWn90,RAL_Thrawn,SOB_Thrawn
Rogue 6
 Darth Sceltor
11-21-2000, 12:21 AM
#49
Approval of you're post and Admiral Yes.

I'm sick and tired of the crap these newbies are pulling and I want to see an end to it.
 Rogue Nine
11-21-2000, 12:26 AM
#50
Hell yeah, DS! You tell 'em, brothaman. http://www.xwingalliance.com/forums/smile.gif)

Hey Thrawnie. I've just been real busy with stuff and other things (hint, hint). But I'm here now.
Page: 1 of 2