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Chapter 1 & 2 of New Storyline Done!!!

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 DISTURBED 1
07-28-2006, 4:06 PM
#1
okay.... after a long ass time of trying to get this done, here it is, chapters 1 and 2 of the new storyline idea. please feel free to email me your suggestions or corrections at dirtybigfoot@att.net, or just put these in a reply. thanks!

Oh, btw, this isn't going to have any dialogue yet. just descriptions.

* * * * * * * * * * CHAPTER 1 * * * * * * * * * *
(SCENE 1)
[Flashback-like sequence]
[Camera is flying over a burned-out, dark, smokey landscape, riddled with ice-capped mountains and caves. Flashes to a cave buried deep in the mountains]
We see Jaden as a younger teenager, maybe about 15 or 16, sitting on the ground in an ice cave, trying to assemble a lightsaber. He/she looks to be failing, miserably. Suddenly, we hear a long, deep roar of some creature . Jaden looks up, afraid, and hurries even more to get it complete.
He/She is muttering to him/herself about something.
Jaden looks disheveled, and dirty. A backpack is lying on the ground next to Jaden, the contents spilled out in the ground.
The roar returns, and a pounding noise sounds on the walls and ground. Jaden looks up, very afraid but serious, narrows his/her eyes, and stands up, looking behind him/her at the wall, which is holding a gigantic crystal, glowing with an eerie but somehow comforting green/blue-silverish light. The crystal itself is a deep, sapphire blue with veins or emerald green and some other mysterious fiery-red substance shooting through it. It pulses. Once, twice, three times.
[Camera zooms into the crystal, screen goes black]
(END OF SCENE 1)

(SCENE 2)
[Input of opening scene in Jedi Academy, from the shuttle entrance to where Jaden is struck by the scepter's force-beam. Screen goes black]
(END OF SCENE 2)

(SCENE 3)
[Deep, throbbing pulse-like sound. On screen, the faint outline of a crystal starts to appear, again surrounded by a pulsating light. Screen flashes white, then goes back to the cave.]
Jaden is standing still, meditating, while in the cave. He/she looks disheveled and dirty and beat up still, but somehow more calm. Jaden is facing the giant crystal, holding in his/her right hand a very strange looking sword. On his/her ring finger is a strange-looking dragon-like ring curled around the base of the finger, with and odd gem in its mouth. A necklace with the same stone hangs on his/her neck.
[Camera slowly pans around Jaden. Roaring sounds are abound, occuring every few seconds. Camera slides up to his/her face and stops. Jaden slowly smiles, no teeth showing, eyes still closed.]
[Screen flashes white. Goes back to Jedi Academy opening sequence, Kyle kneeling by Jaden as he wakes up. Finish scene.]
(END OF SCENE 3)


* * * * * * * * * * CHAPTER 2 * * * * * * * * * *

(SCENE 1)
[Input second scene of Jedi Academy where they are all meeting Luke and their new masters. Gameplay of training begins. After this ends, instead of going to stats and Kyle's head talking, goes to following sequence.]
Scene of Jaden, Rosh, and other trainees eating in mess hall. Conversation between them. Jaden gets sick of Rosh and leaves to his/her room.
Camera shows overhead shot of Jaden trying to sleep, but tossing and turning.
[Screen flashes white, to represent a dream. Shows Jaden back in the ice cave.]
[Camera goes behind Jaden's left shoulder]
Jaden raises his/her left hand, holding it straight out, perpendicular to the crystal and takes a small step forward with the left foot. The crystal pulses become stronger, faster. More and more roars in the background. Pounding on the ice walls, shaking stalactites/stalagmites from the ceiling and floor over.
The sword, ring, and necklace al detach themselves from Jaden, and begin to float in front of the crystal. Jaden makes a circular motion with his/her hand, contracting it into a fist, the opens it quickly.
At this moment, the crystal shatters, as do the ice walls, and as the sword, necklace, and ring fuse together, hundreds of creatures swarm through the walls. The sword becomes a lightsaber, exotic and obviously powerful, and flies into the waiting hands of Jaden. He/she turns to face attackers, and fights.
[As the first saber cut is delivered, in slow-mo, the screen flashes white again.]
(END OF SCENE 1)


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
well, thats all for now. please feel free to post comments, suggestions, or other concerns and/or words of wisdom or encouragement in a reply or email them to me at dirtybigfoot@ att.net. email will probably be more effective, since I rarely check this page. But i will be checking up here for probably a week or so, to see any replys. After that, email them to me, cause...well.....I already gave you m reasons. Thanks for your continuing support.

I would also appreciate any mappers, skinners, or just plain modders who think this is interesting to reply via comment post or email, because id like to get this thing rolling. thanx!!!

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 rozo100
07-28-2006, 4:37 PM
#2
holy crap that sounds sooooooooooooooooooooo awsome!!!!!
 Zhaboka
07-29-2006, 11:44 AM
#3
THAT WAS THE FRIKKIN AWESOMEST ALTERNATE VIDEO GAME STORY EVER! I like this WAY better than the origional. If only jadenn had a cool playermodel, like dt's jedi pack. Speaking of that, here's the link becuase it's not publicaly available.

http://files.filefront.com/DTs_Jedi_Packrar/;5291977;;/fileinfo.html)
 DISTURBED 1
08-03-2006, 2:42 PM
#4
WOW guys. I honestly thought it was crap when i proofread it, but i guess i do that with all my stuff. I think its awsme u guys love it so much. It would have been up sooner, but i lost all the final writings. so i started ALL over AGAIN..... then lost that too, about a week before i posted it. So i pretty much had to make it up as i went.

anyways, chapters 3 and maybe 4 will be up soon. probly in about a month. please spread the word for people to read it.

Oh, and Zhaboka, ill try dt's jedi pack, but i might just do my own stuff. either way, dont worry, Jadens gonna be the ****!
 DISTURBED 1
08-03-2006, 3:43 PM
#5
oh, btw, if anybody has ideas for how the girl will look, please post them. dsnt really matter if they are pictures or sketches. and if you need to, you can email them to me.

Oooohhhhhh yeah.........does anybody know how the hell I could email George Lucas to ask for permission to do this? i mean, it would probably end up being sumthin really big, if we get it rollin with enough people, and i dont wanna get sued. can u help me out?
 DISTURBED 1
08-09-2006, 4:39 PM
#6
ooohhhh....man just tried to write some more, but i got my wisdom teeth pulled out this morning, gave me a ****in headache!
 rozo100
08-10-2006, 8:40 AM
#7
owwwie.
i relly think this mod is going to be AWSOME
 DISTURBED 1
08-24-2006, 11:58 PM
#8
yeah, but im all better..... sucks cause my parents wouldn't let me get the real Vicadin, just that watered down crap.(check the date of this post....been a while)

okay, almost done writin the damn thing ( sorry but it gives me headaches a lot) and it shopuld be up in about three days.

im trying to get to a friend who makes websites, cause that would help me out a lot, and im too stupid to do it on my own, but hes being stupid

soooooo....just wait a few more days, im not sure if i will put it up here or on a different thread, so DONT YOU TOUCH THAT REMOTE!!!!
 DISTURBED 1
09-15-2006, 12:22 AM
#9
yo, im puttin up a new thread. check it out
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