Chapter I - Recruitment -
It is a time of war the Sith and Jedi have flown into the dangerous outer rim and beyond to fight for the Crystal Of The Force the last known crystal that will turn anyone who touches it into a force sensitive. Young ex-Jedi padawan Alo waits on the planet of Desturl to become a sith....
Alo was tired he had been standing in the harsh sun for over 34 hours now no food, no water he was trying to prove his worth trying to join the sith in the war against the Jedi.
"Please just let me join..." A guy next to him gasped to the sith knight Nic.
"Quiet you Fool!" Nic shouted at the poor hopeful and shot several bolts of lightning into the poor souls weak body making him fall to the floor his body lifeless.
Nic looked at Alo who then looked around him Alo had won, the hours of torment were over and he had finally survived the harsh trials of the sith Nic turned and gestured to follow so Alo walked into the academy trying to find the shelter of the sith academy. Alo soon came to realise that the life of a sith wasn't as good as it was hyped up to be it seemed that some of the sith had got Dark Side mixed up with Spoilt Brats. Alo had been assigned to room block C.
The C*** block Alo thought to himself as he sat in his room waiting to be assigned to a masters he could be trained and go to the front line to destroy the Jedi Alo sat down and started to go over some basic thing he had been told about by some of the other sith.
"Meditation can help you sense location of Jedi's and even have premonitions." Master Grarr had told him he started to focus and soon started to meditate successfully with no intrusions.
[Dantooine Jedi Academy ]
The sun rose over the grass plains of Dantooine and the settlers and Jedi started to stir from there beds in there homes and in the academy. Alo got up a young padawan in training he had much to learn but he was head strong and thought the Jedi were holding him back he got into his brown robes and walked out of his room and into the center area of the academy.
"Padawan Alo!" A voice shouted from behind
A young girl at the age of 20 was running towards Alo, she was about medium height and thin with blond hair and freckles. Alo turned and saw his good friend Georgie and smiled.
" So Jedi Knight Georgie how are you today," He replied still smiling.
"So young padawan today I shall teach the greatness of lightsaber and force forms." Georgie quickly said as if time was running short. They both walked out into the training room near the council chamber and got to each side of the sparring area.
" Alo tell me what you know about force forms."
" Well I know different forms are different ways of combat and force forms help you in using the force like certain forms of meditating"
"Good I will show you Force I tod...." Georgie didn't finish as a massive bang drowned the sound of her voice as the wall behind her exploded and she fell down.
"Sith attack!" A Jedi's voice shouted from the hallway Alo knelt down next to Georgie checking her pulse then realising she was dead he rose half crying Lightsaber ignited in hand.
" Padawan Alo quick me must leave" The voice of the small Jedi master Vandar.
Alo looked down angry about the death of his master he ran into the hallway towards the direction of the sound of sabers clashing. In the hallway 3 Jedi were fighting three sith and at the back Malak was standing Alo jumped towards him lightsaber wildly slashing at him it took him 2 seconds to notice the young padawan but he still defended with ease he finaly pushed Alo back into a war making Alo lose consciousness....
A good start. Now if the Chapters were slightly longer, then you'll be alright. Welcome to the Forums.
PS. Check out my Fanfics.
My chapter are short at the moment because this is 1 of 3 fic's so each chapter is quite small. I'm also gonna rewrite chapter 2 and stuff.
Chapter II - Sith Training -
Alo's training went quite well for the first few months apart from some of the unfortunate murders of several apprentices he had been peaceful... well peaceful for a sith any way. Alo walked through damp corridors of the academy reciting the code and talking with his master today he would be granted his new lightsaber.
" I have trained you for several months my apprentice and now you are ready." Alo master Teck growled behind his mask.
Teck was about 6ft tall and wore a dark green cloak around him and had a metal mask hiding his face.
"Master I will be pleased to finally be able to head to the front line" Alo hissed.
The path of the dark side changes people not just there personality but there appearance become different there skin turn white and veins of 'power' as they called them start to appear the face can slightly deform and eyes turn white. Alo and his mastered entered the trial rooms sat down until Master Grarr entered into the room with his apprentice following.
"As the only pupils with the ability to gain your lightsabers today I will explain the test. " He barked across the room.
" Each of you will stand at a door and then enter into the dual chambers only one of you may take the saber and come out alive."
Alo walked over to one of the doors and waited patiently for the doors to slide open. As soon as they slid open Alo ran in and jumped up the stairs and into the dueling room.
"My master has trained me for this moment....." The apprentice sighed.
Alo ignited his old lightsaber as the apprentice pulled out a vibro sword and ran at him there blades clashed and Alo defended several slashes from his opponent then jumped back.
"Ha! They call you ready Alo but you are weak!" The apprentice shouted as he ran towards Alo jumped over him and tried to attack Alo from behind but Alo quickly blocked the attacks turned round and gave a well placed kick in the jaw to the young apprentice who fell to the ground. Alo stood over the fallen apprentice and grabbed him by his throat and lifted him into the air choking him. The body soon became limp and Alo dropped the dead apprentice he then turned and walked up to the canister which was now unlocked he opened it and took the saber. Alo opened the door and walked down the stairs and into the center room.
"Hmm it seems my apprentice was still not prepared any way congratulations you are now a sith and may lkleave this place at any time." Grarr sighed he walked out the room and Alo stood facing Teck.
"Now you may leave this awful place and get to the front line I have trained you all I can and will leave you now" Teck said he turned and left.
Alo stood in the chambers his master and he had shared for the months he packed his back pack and made sure everything was there he then opened his door and sealed it so no one could enter until he returned. He left the academy and went to the hangar bay where several apprentices were getting on a ship head to the sith fleet ship above the planet Alo quickly got on and sat down he sensed something wasn't right something was going to happen.
Ive reposted chapter II now.