Foreword with Vernon and Ford:
-IM-PASTA-BOWL-
"Jesus, why do we have to keep doing this. I'm really getting ticked off. I mean, the first one wasn't funny, neither was the next one, and this one is gonna suck too." Vernon growled. "I hate the Awesomest Days. And I HATE YOU. Yes you, for reading this, and saying 'lol vote 5, karaniyuki is cool.' I am sick of doing these episodes and I swear to god I'll punch you in the eyes if you make me do one more chapter."
"That's cool," Ford said, "because he's doing something else. He's ripping off someone else, because he thinks they were inspired by him, so he wants to inspire them, however that works, so basically, he hasn't got an original thought in his body."
"Does this mean we don't die?" Vernon asked.
"Not for a while," Ford replied gruffly.
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STUPID BORING DISCLAIMER: I don't own Psychonauts, The Gorillaz, Five Iron Frenzy, or any other stuff I mention. I do own a custom Vernon hoodie though.
I also do like SongMeanings, horribly inaccurate as they may be.
OTHER DISCLAIMER: I'm not actually funny, I just like writing and suffer from extreme ADD. I'm not even trying anymore. You'll probably recognize most of the jokes here.
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(I know I am so copying off that other person. Listen, I liked their idea, so I did the honorable thing and stole it. Wouldn't you?)
Vernon yawned, kicking up his feet onto Raz's seat on the bus. "OH GOD!" Raz yelled, as Vernon happened to be wearing cleats, with poison tips. Razputin died.
"See you at respawn point, sucker," Vernon laughed, as Razputin flashed back into existance at the back of the bus.
"God that hurts like a mother." Razputin moaned, getting into his seat again, lowering his head. Vernon grabbed his MP3 player, not a sleazy overpriced iPod, flipping on the song All Alone by the Gorillaz.
"You know that song's about-"
"I KNOW!" Vernon yelled, kicking the seat in front of him, tearing off the back cushioning. "I like it anyway! I don't sell out just because it's about-"
"Hey, don't kick my seat," Lili sighed. "Wait, what is that song about?"
"It's about-" Raz began. However, he was interrupted by the bus squealing to a stop and tipping half-way over a cliff.
"Whoa! We're all going to die!" Dogen screamed, tears welling in his eyes.
"This calls for El Manana," Vernon said, changing songs.
"HAAAAAAAAANG ON," the fat busdriver manlady yelled, to the whole bus, over the intercom. Most kids' ears were not only plagued by her raucous voice, but by the horrible feedback afterwards.
"Oh god, we're going to fall!" Bobby Zilch feigned, running to the front of the bus and crashing into it, tilting the bus off balance.
"WE'RE FALLING!" Vernon squealed, as the bus began turning and the kids were suspended in midair. "This calls for the song White Light."
"That song is about all your drug trips and lies becoming real, not death," Raz mentioned.
"I don't need your Songmeanings bull, Raz. White light means death. That's why they say don't go into the light. Songmeanings is full of druggies and... little kids."
"We're still kind of little kids. I mean I just turned eleven this summer," Raz said.
"HERE COMES THE PAIN, CHILDREN!" Fat Bus Driver squealed, as the bus hit the water, crumpling before its tension, and continuing to crumple as it dove deeper, killing all the children.
They all flickered into existence on the highway. "This is just like when I ditched the jeep in City 17," Quentin reminisced. "Man, Half-Life 2 was so awesome."
"Don't worry children," Fat Bus Driver groaned. "The bus will spawn any second now."
And it did, falling out of sky onto the conglomeration of children.
"For Christ's sakes," Raz sighed, spawning inside the bus again.
"GUYS HELP" Vernon yelled, wailing his arms, forgetting to put punctuation at the end of his sentence, "I SPAWNED HALF-WAY INTO THE BUS"
"You'll lag out of it when we start moving again. AND PUNCTUATION AT THE END OF A SENTENCE!" Vocabulor yelled, disappearing into the night.
"How does he disappear into the night when it's early morning?" Lili asked, looking confused. Razputin sighed. "Love works in mysterious ways."
"That has nothing to do with the paradox he's created."
"You know what?" Raz yelled, standing up. "Did I even ASK YOU!"
"YES." Lili responded loudly.
"NO, I DIDN'T," Raz yelled angrily. "DON'T MAKE ME MAKE OUT ON YOU."
"I'LL DO THE SAME THING!" Lili yelled, also standing up. They proceeded to do so.
"Wow, that's romantic," Franke sighed, suddenly flashing into existence next to Vernon. "We should do that. I mean, if we were dating. If yoiu liked me. I mean no, I mean, ye-no, YES I'M AWESOME!"
"Well. I am curious of how tongue tastes," Vernon sighed, suddenly dismissing the thought from his mind. "But we have to build up this relationship through sometimes serious moments in the story, all ending of course in comic relief and something moderately cute."
"So wait, you do like me?" Franke asked, as Vernon suddenly held up a memory eraser from Men in Black, and flashed it.
"Why are you sitting next to me?" Vernon asked, as Franke blushed, running to sit next to Kitty instead.
"KIDS WE ARE HERE!" Fat Bus Driver squealed, suddenly exploding. The kids waited a few moments in shock and awe, after the bus crashed into the GPC. They stared at the chunks of the exploded corpse.
"Wha... we're mortal now?" Kitty asked, in sheer awe and sorrow.
"Don't get lost in heaven," Benny sobbed, walking over to the corpse gibs. "I'm so sorry."
A single tear dropped inbetween the chunks, as Benny sighed, walking out of the bus first.
Near the GPC, the children erected a single gravestone; reading: "Rest in Peace, Fat Bus Driver. Your name was misleading, I don't think you ever passed Driver's Ed, but we'll remember you for teaching us the meaning of love, life, and happiness."
"This calls for Every Planet We Reach Is Dead," Vernon thought aloud, switching songs yet again.
"OH SHUT THE HELL UP!" Raz screamed in tears.
The characters are extremely OOC, the plot is a bit contrived, and unless you're doing RL you don't want to have mentions of products. Humorous stories like this can be done however they are extremely hard to make.
This is not to discourage you from writing it's just my complaints.
A BIT CONTRIVED?
You have NO IDEA.