I actually went to Goodwill today. The scariest thing I saw was an old lady in tight, red clothes and crazy, high, stringy blond hair. I want some excitement.
Ok. Let me set up one:
~Many Moons Ago~
The buzzer thing goes off and I go to take a donation.
I open the door and hear: "I'd like to drop some stuff off, please." in a very deep, gravel-y man voice.
I look up to see a 300-400 pound woman standing there.
I later learned he/she was in the middle of a sex change.
She donated his man clothes which included tighty whities with stains of all colors in very nasty places. They went promptly in the trash.
Ok. Let me set up one:
~Many Moons Ago~
The buzzer thing goes off and I go to take a donation.
I open the door and hear: "I'd like to drop some stuff off, please." in a very deep, gravel-y man voice.
I look up to see a 300-400 pound woman standing there.
I later learned he/she was in the middle of a sex change.
She donated his man clothes which included tighty whities with stains of all colors in very nasty places. They went promptly in the trash.
....
I think I'm crying. No more stories, plz.
....
I think I'm crying. No more stories, plz.
Aw... but I have so many that are startlingly similar! My job is very... interesting.
Aw... but I have so many that are startlingly similar! My job is very... interesting.
Sokolov. You scar my mind in the best of ways.
Sokolov. You scar my mind in the best of ways.
Must. SIG.
Aww. How sweet. I've been sigged by the best of tormenters.
Really, I love to talk to you. So scary.
Aww. How sweet. I've been sigged by the best of tormentors.
Really, I love to talk to you. So scary.
Look at me as a Jack-in-the-Box that has a big button labled 'random'. Push it and you never know what I will spew forth!
Look at me as a Jack-in-the-Box that has a big button labled 'random'. Push it and you never know what I will spew forth!
But hopefully what spews forth isn't about innuendos or making fun of me. Because that would suck.
But hopefully what spews forth isn't about innuendos or making fun of me. Because that would suck.
I'm not to big at making fun of people; don't worry. Esp. if there's not much to make fun of.
I'm not to big at making fun of people; don't worry. Esp. if there's not much to make fun of.
Perhaps. But I am innuendo'd quite often.
Not that I mind. I do it all the time.
Perhaps. But I am innuendo'd quite often.
Not that I mind. I do it all the time.
And remember kids, James Bond sez: "Anything can be penetrated with the right tool."
And remember kids, James Bond sez: "Anything can be penetrated with the right tool."
...
You're killing me, man. Killing me.
Of course, I didn't help much with 'everyone wants a piece of this man's crotch!'
...
You're killing me, man. Killing me.
Of course, I didn't help much with 'everyone wants a piece of this man's crotch!'
Must be made of diamonds and gold dust, it duz!
Must be made of diamonds and gold dust, it duz!
All of this crotch talk just makes me want a reply sooner. Do you think they've read it yet?
All of this crotch talk just makes me want a reply sooner. Do you think they've read it yet?
I wish I knew. Come on, DoubleFine! We need closure! Crotch closure!
I wish I knew. Come on, DoubleFine! We need closure! Crotch closure!
Hmm. What will we do when/if they reply? Have a party? A Crotch Closure party?
Hmm. What will we do when/if they reply? Have a party? A Crotch Closure party?
If/when, look for a thread entitled "Crotch Closure!". The fanbase deserves an explaination about this poor man's crotch.
If/when, look for a thread entitled "Crotch Closure!". The fanbase deserves an explaination about this poor man's crotch.
I was even thinking about a new thread called 'The Patch Countdown'. Where we talk about Tom's crotch until we get a reply.
Of course, the mod might not be thrilled.
I was even thinking about a new thread called 'The Patch Countdown'. Where we talk about Tom's crotch until we get a reply.
Of course, the mod might not be thrilled.
What mod?? (winkwink) It is sorta on topic. It IS in the game and IS such a major part of it, after all.
What mod?? (winkwink) It is sorta on topic. It IS in the game and IS such a major part of it, after all.
I think I'd enjoy a level based on Tom's crotch. Hours of entertainment~! Think of the awesome.
I think I'd enjoy a level based on Tom's crotch. Hours of entertainment~! Think of the awesome.
That is the best thing I have heard all day. No kidding. We would call it:
"Where Babies Come From".
Or not. Ideas?
That is the best thing I have heard all day. No kidding. We would call it:
"Where Babies Come From".
Or not. Ideas?
"Too Close to Dad".
=D
"The Birds and the Bees."
I am having so much fun right now.
"Razputin: Ten Years Ago."
Eww.
"Razputin: Ten Years Ago."
Eww.
...Eww.
Of course we could always base the level less on his crotch and more on his love-life.
Raz must have a very strange mother, because not many girls go for the Rainbow Hobo look.
She probably thinks the patch is hawt.
I LOVE the Rainbow/Hobo look. So indescribibly sexy.
On that note, I wonder how big the Aquato family is. Based on Memory Vaults or otherwise... busy man.
I LOVE the Rainbow/Hobo look. So indescribibly sexy.
On that note, I wonder how big the Aquato family is. Based on Memory Vaults or otherwise... busy man.
Busy man? No.
Busy woman. How does Raz's mom feel about giving birth every... well, a lot.
But I suppose she doesn't mind. Her husband has such a cool taste in fashion, and that must be why she's so willing.
Busy man? No.
Busy woman. How does Raz's mom feel about giving birth every... well, a lot.
But I suppose she doesn't mind. Her husband has such a cool taste in fashion, and that must be why she's so willing.
If that is Razputin's mother in the M.V.s, she maintains her figure very well. She's like an Amish woman after marriage. Looks like she stopped at five, though.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y93/Flyingsquirrelsnake/vault1_01.jpg)
Tom might be looking up in the wrong direction though.
Couldn't help myself.
Raz is such a cruel little boy. He always was the slow one.
EDIT: WTF is he doing, TKing his own sibling like that?
Tom might be looking up in the wrong direction though.
Couldn't help myself.
Raz is such a cruel little boy. He always was the slow one.
EDIT: WTF is he doing, TKing his own sibling like that?
Sibling rivalry.
I know if I was on top of a human pyramid I'd use powers to mess with my lil bro.
Especially since she looks like a little snot.
Tom must work out a lot, like, out the wazoo. That's a crazy amount of people he's holding.
EDIT: WTF is he doing, TKing his own sibling like that?
Probably pulling her hair. Kids will be annoying little snits like that, y'know.
And you know, I've always wondered why they had that many kids when, you know, horrible gypsy curse, they're all going to end up dying horrible, drowny deaths and all. The power of the hypnocrotch must...oh god, I'm not going there. So not going there!
Probably pulling her hair. Kids will be annoying little snits like that, y'know.
And you know, I've always wondered why they had that many kids when, you know, horrible gypsy curse, they're all going to end up dying horrible, drowny deaths and all. The power of the hypnocrotch must...oh god, I'm not going there. So not going there!
The HypnoCrotch is a very powerful thing indeed. Why would it not be sexy? That's the only explanation as to why a woman would have so many children.
EDIT: Of course, I could hurt everyone and say 'they were making the most out marriage'.
No kidding right now I really am hawt I just sat and was a pyro around a very large BONFIRE. I'm burning up. But we could call the level... "The crotch of a BUSY man"
...This thread is making me feel dirty. I think I need to go take a long, long shower. In bleach.
My poor brain.
Hey, the board is only like this at night.
When Sokolov joins in. :0
Hey I'm posting more than you here I'm the one who should be mentally disturbed.
Hey I'm posting more than you here I'm the one who should be mentally disturbed.
Why would you be any more freaked out because of the number of posts in here?
Hey I'm posting more than you here I'm the one who should be mentally disturbed.
The only way to be sure is by doing one of those crazy "living-autopsies" like they did on "House, m.d.". Because it would look cool on the board announcements.
No I mean I've seen and talked about it more than her. And I think I'm gonna take this seriously and make a Tom's Crotch thread again that's a maybe this time.
...that would look cool. Why don't we have one of those yet?
No I mean I've seen and talked about it more than her. And I think I'm gonna take this seriously and make a Tom's Crotch thread again that's a maybe this time.
NO. If anyone is going to make a Crotch thread, it'd be someone who was there when it happened. Tradition, you know. Can't just have random threads running around.
Fine I'll make one.
NONONONNO! I was talking to Captain!!!
...that would look cool. Why don't we have one of those yet?
We actually considered giving Dr.House an offer, but FOX beat us to it.
But since I respect you I won't.
This thread made me laugh so much as i scrolled down the page.
And since Sokolov would tear your eyes out if you made a thread for something you had nothing to do with. Possibly.
We actually considered giving Dr.House an offer, but FOX beat us to it.
Fox gets everything cool. They should stop hogging the good stuff.
That does look funny doesn't it?!