ok this is the neW joke thread. Post your best ones here, i need some new.


After god created adam, he went to eva and said to her: I am really sorry, brain is out, now the tits.

heard it yesterday

a guy walks into a doctor''s office. he has a sausage coming out of his ear, a waffle coming out of his nose, and bacon coming out of his other ear. he says worriedly, "doc, what's wrong with me?!?"
the doctor replies, "you''re not eating properly."


why do they call it hypertext?

too much java!!!!

BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAAHHHHHH
*falls off chair*

There was a man that had a frog sticking out of the middle of his forehead. He went for a stroll around town one day. A woman, upon seeing him, recoiled in horror and shreiked, "How in the world did THAT happen!?!?!?" The frog replied, "Well, it started as a bump on my ass..."

Did you hear? They are gonna change the name of Viagra to it's scientific name - Mycoxafloppin.

Why was Michal Jackson kicked out of the boy scouts?

He was up to a pack a day.

hehehehe all so great...
sry i don't know anything good.

what do you call fish poop?

BASS TURD(say it fast)

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?


The taste!

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume?








Because they're ugly and they smell bad!!!

An old man and an old woman were sitting together on their front porch.
"You used to sit closer to me," said the woman. So the man moved closer.
"You used to put your arm around me." So the man put his arm around her.
"You used to nibble on my ear."
"Let me get my teeth."


A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

"Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

lol. another adam & eva joke:

God comes to adam and eva and says: ok, i have got two new things for you, but you can only have one of them:
I have got a thing, you get it at the lower part of your body and you can give a direction to your piss (is that right?).
After Adam heard that, he shouted: Hey thats cool, i want that!
He got the penis and run to the snow, there he pissed figures in the snow and played a bit with it.
Eva saw that, became a bit envious and asked god: "And what do i get? what do you give me?"
and god answered: "...you, eva, you get the brain"

..and sry for my english

i got one

a press statement was released sayin Michael Jackson is dating 24 yr olds now.....ya know why.................











cuz there's 20 of them.........LOL