Captain Andy was lying in her bed.......the air was clammy......

(Yeah...why let a successful game die?)

Little did she know that the moisture in the air, coupled with her excessive lying in bed habits, would this day or the next bring about some huge adventures of epic proportions.

But she knew little, as I said before, and unwittingly picked up the phone to call her friends and ask if they wanted to go to see a movie.

"Hey Ray, how's it hangin' wit ya?" she said without waiting for a "hello."

A voice at the other end said....

*ray stood there.. the phone in his hands.. naked*

"what do you mean by hanging? .. i just ..err.. .." a long delay followed "i think the air seems to be a bit clammy today, andy. time again for you to ask you friends if the want to go to the supa cineplex mega complex complex and see a FRREEEEAKIN' movie" ray said finally. then he made a serious face and added a short but straight "yap. i'll be with you. i'm in. i just have to get a few things together. meet me at the .. err.. where?"

..

"What do you mean Ray? I thought you were MY bitch?" (Roy starts to cry), "Can I assume that these rumours about you and the Vicars organ are true?". (Roy was listening using the phone tap he'd installed earlier!)

Roy gets into his car, a supercharged 5.5 V8 MKI VW Jetta, and speeds off supersonically towards Andy's house......on the way, he notices Das Mole, apparently drunk, wandering about in the road <Thump>.....

....ahem, after dusting Das down (and taking some cash off him for a new windscreen.......Roy decides to ask Das why he's wandering around randomly......Das says:-

<cut to ray who is still on the phone>

"yeah andy i know this place. ok. 2330 sounds fine. i'll meet you then at the"

<cut back to das and roy>

"Hish, Roooy, howw ARE you!?" he slurred, "Haven't had mush tiiime to ta post on Lukishforrumss...but heelll thish loomin ale from aReSeN shorrre hitsh the, er, shpot. Andon'tfergitthe HAARD melonade..."

Roy took pity on the inebriated youngster and tossed him in the trunk before speeding along his way. Unfortunately, he was stopped for speeding, and the cops for some reason decided to search his car.

They found Das Mole, who was sleeping VERY heavily, charged Roy with manslaughter, and threw him in the clink.

"Crap," he said, as he heard the exiting jailkeeper say something about an autopsy and subsequent cremation.....

....suddenly Das bursts through the door of the cop shop, looking a little overdone, and stinking of bacon........the cops sheepishily release Roy, but charge Das with riding in the boot of Roys car without a seatbelt........they swap places.....Roy is a free man, and Das is in clink.......

Captain Andy walks in hand in hand with Ray Jones.....they...

...are walking down the ailse...

..struggled..

"Hey, this isn't a movie theater," said Andy, starting to turn around, but Ray saw his acquaintance and shouted,

"DAS MOLE!"

"Shh, he's sleeping," observed Andy. "Don't wake him up."

"Oh....ok...eyh...why don't we leave him a little surprise?"

So they pried the cell door open and left it that way for Das to make his escape, as soon as he saw fit.

Onward they went to the movie.

...on thier way to the theater, they come across a hooded, mysterious figure. With a pulley chicken in one hand, and a coupon in the other.
Who won't let them get by.
"WHAT ISH YOUR PROBLEM!?" Andy yelled.

The hood figure replied...

..throwing off his hood...

"I'm Guybrush Threepwood, and I want my girlfriend!"

"Don't we all," said Das, who had trailed Ray and Andy out of the jail.

"Why are you wearing a hood?" asked Orca Wail, suddenly appearing.

"I...uh...don't know?" Guybrush replied.

"Well, finally, someone who's more confused than any of us," put Roy, strangely materializing from nowhere.

"Well, shoot. Now we're too late for the movie," said Andy. "Let's just go hang out at the Biggest Ball of Twine instead."

But at that moment...

... Guybrush collapsed!

"Crap." said Andy. What do we do now?

Orca replies in a sinister tone "we have to hide the body. Quick! to the mall!"

Das starts his new porsche. "Toss him in the trunk!" he says to Roy

But Roy is frozen in shock, because he sees...

Ray and Andy who grabbed Guybrush and throwing him onto the loading space of his colt severs truck..

"Hey.. last one who is at the Biggest Ball of Twine has lost."

sqquueeeeeeeeeerrrchhzzzzeeeee

.. and off they are.

they take the shortcut through the woods and on their way through the woods they suddenly ..

...see a cabin in the middle of the woods.

"Looks like your standard, pyscho-inhabited cabin!" Andy says. "Let's ditch the body here...no-one will think anything of it!"

They all get out to toss the body. Orca raids his pockets, and fights with Ray over the spoils.

SUDDENLY.......

Ernil strolled by.

"See you've found my evil-looking shack. Yep. It's where I keep my corpses too. Not too bad of an idea, in my opinion, though the old trash-dump's a better place to stash them."

After examining the corpse of Guybrush, Ernil was taken back in horror.

"Wait for a second...this is weird. I killed Guybrush last week, and have his corpse in my shack to prove it. Since that day, I've been hiding out from Elaine. She's out for my guts, after hearing about the death of Guybrush."

"You guys have got to help me."

"If Elaine wants your hide..." began Andy-

"I said GUTS." he interrupted.

"Whatever. If Elaine wants your guts, then you had better kill yourself now and save the trouble of enduring a fight to the death with her."

"Death!" cried Orca, upon hearing her own middle name.

"Oh, it's not so bad as that, is it?" Ernil asked, nervously. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Erm...yeah..." put in Roy Tordes. Then suddenly he thought of something else..."Hey, if you killed Guybrush, and we killed Guybrush, where's the hole in the time-space continuum?"

Roy gaped.

"Oh, there it is."

"No really," Das Mole said, "which one is the real Guybrush?"

So they dragged out the two bodies to compare them, and everything seemed perfectly alike....until the Guybrush in the hooded robe was found to have an ID card of sorts.

Instead of saying "Guybrush Threepwood," as it should, it said "Roger Wilco, Space Janitor."

There was a collective gasp, and Shivermetimbers said...

..."Guybrush and Wilco are...are...TWINS!"

"Wha?!" everybody says.

"Twins!! Separated...at birth!" Shiver says

And just then...

PS do not mock my love of Death.
You're just jelous cause i'm on his good side ;)

Hi everyone I am new and would like to meet a few people to talk to if that is ok with you guys.:p

She said, without actually posting. (Check her post count. it's 0)

OK PEOPLE...carry on with the story.


***************************************

"Seperated at birth...how odd..." replied Roy. "So if one of Guybrush's brothers turned out evil, Guybrush turned out cool, then...what's with this new guy?"

*Suddenly, out of the blue, Wilco woke up from the dead*

"Hmm...intruiging. By my calculations, it seems that...erm....*sniff* our current location is parallel to the antartic cove..." he stated without taking a breath.


"Oh Great." Das sighed. "The family had a jerk, a cool kid, and now....a dork"

....

"That's a hellofa gene pool" Orca and Andy exclaimed.

"Hey! Let's ask him random crap!" Orca said, sparkling with genius.

"But what about the movie!?!" Ray cries.

"We can take him with us..." says Das, with a very, VERY strange grin.

"Riiiight..." says Orca, and askes Roger....

roytordes'sbabe runs along after ray and asks if she can come to the movies too, please she says with a cheesy grin:D if not I will kill you all with my big uzi gun

"Babe" yelled Roy, shocked. "How'd you get here?"

"I...*sniff*...I got on the train and I'm here now! Bobby told me."

"You're drunk, aren't you babe? I TOLD you to keep away from the booze." Roy sighed.

"Well, looks like she's coming along. Someone try to sober her up." replied Orca. "That'll be Ray, he know's the most about drinking."

"M'kay. I'll sober her up, and then we'll hop along to the movies. From there, Ernil will find a haven from Elaine, and we'll figure out this odd dorky brother thing" Ray added.

"Das...what're you doing?" Shiver noted, looking closley.

"Das! DAS!" everyone yelled. Das was on the ground, cuddling up with a tiny millipede, and singing love songs in his best deep voice.

"Stay away!" he snapped "And you'l live through the experience..."

das you big wimp replies roytordes'sbabe get up and leave the insect alone, dont forget I have my big uzi and I will shoot you and the god damn lettuce eating mite,

oh my I need another drink I cant take much more of this falling in love lark especially when its with a millipede.

you sick individual.

then roytordes'sbabe crashes to the floor completely out of it.

Note:
Quotation marks are our friends

Ray casts a glance at the pile of Roy's babe huddled on the floor, and then tosses her into the trunk to sober up.

Menawhile, Das and his millepede have snuck off into the trees. Andy and Orca rush after him, fearing the worst. But when they arrive, it is too late. The millipede has dragged Das into it's underground lair... They fear all hope is lost for Das until Ernil arrives and says...

"BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MOVIE!?!"

Andy smacks him with a poster of Yufster's old avatar
"Idiot! What about Das?!"

Ernil thought about this, while recovering.
"He'll be fine."

"Yum, yum...fiiiine..." Roger mutters on the ground.

"And whattdo we do about HIM??" Orca hisses.

"Maybe he can help us get Das back!" Andy yells

AND THEN....

Roy returns after burning the Porsche, Colt Severs truck, and shack in a huge bonfire. Sobering up anyone who was drunk, finding the millipede a date, and randomly slapping Ern just for the hell of it....

by now everyone is together.....stuck miles from anywhere. Ray notices a horrifying co-incidence......

....that everyone is wearing turquoise Kappa tracksuits.....

....it can only mean one thing......that......

Everyone was on a drunken spree and raided a shop, for the dreaded kappa tracksuits.

Oh roy said roys babe, why did you let me get in this drunken state and let me wear this kappa crap and look the trainers too.

Then roy replies...........

..."Can't you use qoutation marks? Please?" Roy is pleading.

"Hmm..." Orca is thinking.
"Isn't this odd...I think there could be a time flux or something."

"OH, GOD! " Enril yells. He has relized something. Some thing terrible. He turns to the little group and says...

the air.. is still .. clammy..

"We know, Ernil. It's not that hard to realise."

"Well, Ok guys. I mean, I was just trying to help. Sorry."


"M'kay people, we need action" inputted Andy. "We've got a movie to catch, a millepede to kill, a Das to re-sanaty-ize, some sobering up to do, and some English Lessons to teach. What first?"

....at that moment, Roy stepped in again to slap Ern and bring him to his senses....."We don't need English lessons you fool!!" he exclaimed!!!

".....we need German lessons, as the film we're going to see is german, the film is:- Fettige dicke Mдdchen in Leder"

Ray immediately got to work coaching the motley bunch. Within half an hour, everyone was able to say "Ich mцchte Ihre Toilette fьr eine Partei benutzen". The group felt suitably well equipped and started the long march back to the road. On the way, Das noticed a...........

"GASP! A...a...damn, that is one HOT cocaroach!"

Everyone leaps on Das and covers his eyes.

and THEN...(and no and THEN!)...

Roytordes screams at the size of the cocaroach.......He can't believe the size on it..........some one comes to calm roytordes down but who is it in that funny looking long brown mac and a weird top hat.............

greasy fat girls in leather? .. a party.. on my toilet? democrats? or socialists? what? ..

:p

-----

....
it was .. mr. potatohead! he said "hey.. you could still make it .. take the bus" .. then he suddenly disappeared.

they decided that they would take the bus because obviously there was no car left and who would know a better way to come out of the wood than mr. potatohead? ... so they used andys lipstick to make up a bus stop sign and waitet for the next bus.

the bus arrived and opened his doors. as the entered the bus they recognized who was the bus driver. it was the long missed millipede ..

Das imediatly grabbed the millipide and began to sing "Music of Night" in Michael Crawford's (agh,aw,Crawford:eyemouth:*worship* )

"Hooo, boy, ain't that a pretty sight?" A deep, gutteral, rasp sounded behind them.

It was...

PS we need Yufster to join. That would be fun.

..It was a Star Wars mod who had just stumbled in by mistake, and was trying to find a way out.

The happy group surrounded him.

"So....what up man?" said Roy, anxious to be friendly.

"Shhhh! Look! Look at that weapon he's got!" giggled roytordes'babe.

"It's a LIGHTSABER," said Orca Wail dramatically, in a know it all voice.

"Erm...I was just browsing the Jedi Knight forums and suddenly I was here...in this...dirty old bar?" The Jedi-in-training seem very confused.

"Oh...don't worry, sir," said Ernil with a contemptibly mischeivous look in his eye. "We'll get you back where you came from."

"Yes," said Andy, "all you have to do is go through that door over there beyond the table where the three important-looking pirates are intoxicating themselves."

The Padawan then proceeded to that door, opened it boldly, was met by a large kitchen pot to his head, fell unconcious, and was dragged inside by his feet. A minute later a large SPLASH was heard.

"Cook's in a fine humor today," remarked Shivers nonchalantly.

Then Roy spotted Das again. This time he was....

...cheating on the millipide. The millipide, who's name is Pete, is storming off, muttering about a lawsuit and toilets.
No one can believe what Das is doing...er...doing...

Das is flirting with.........

...everyones good friend Carl, Das is flirting with Carl!!

Mr and Mrs Tordes are canoodling in the corner, whilst Ray thumbs through an edition of the 1975 Littlewoods catalogue, focusing particularly on the huge pants section.....

.....Das, realising that his flirtation with everyones good friend Carl was doomed to failure (Carl muttered something about Das being an 'ass hole', and how the rules of the forum don't apply when you've been in the woods), tried to call back Pete the Millipede. Pete was having none of this and slapped Das in the face (with all his hands/feet), Das was inconsoleable.

Everyone piles into the 'unisex toilets' under advice from Ray, who figured it would be as good a meeting place as any. After a group discussion, the slovenly bunch decide to be more focused, stop dating insects, playing with lipstick and generally messing around, and get on to the important business of getting to the cinema and watching "Fettige dicke Mдdchen in Leder".

....but oh no, while the gang have been in the toilet, they've been transported through time and space to everyones good friend Carls house...........Ray suggests that the group rape and pillage. das points out that rape is not the done thing, and was impossible because of the fact there was noone else in the house. Roy suggested that we drop the rape idea as it was rather tasteless and sterotypical. RoyTordes'Babe then suggested that the gang stick to leaving everyones good friend Carls freezer door open (hee hee), whilst continuing the looting and pillageing.........while rummaging through everyones good friend Carls drawers, the gang are horrified to find.......

...the rotting remains of the Grim Reaper, in a plastic bag!
...under the bag is several pairs of panties...:eyeraise:

Orca threw herself in tears on the remains, while Ray threw himself in glee on the panties, and Das just threw himself.

Andy suddenly also found...:eyeraise:

.. everyones friend carls bathroom. "wow." andy was impressed. "he even has a computer in front of the bowl!" ..

"BOWL??" Ray listened up. his favourite game ever was 'the big dark deep unknown' TUM TUMM TUUUUUMMMMM!!! .. now he sees his chance.
but how to get andy and pete, who was extremly usable helping to hack the computer because he could type as fast as noone else, away from that darn computer so that he can play 'the big dark deep unknown' TUM TUMM TUUUUUMMMMM!!! with the bowl?

thinking about the solution he forgot about the game and suddenly found himself upstairs in everyones friend carls bedroom where he found a tv set and a nintendo 64. he called roy and das to come and bring the chips, beer and the blunts. "here i have a copy of diddy kong racing with me, lets have a race and eat chips and drink beer and *cough* on everyones friend carls bed" he said after roy and das came upstairs.

the race was on and ...

Roy'sbabe tells roy she needs to speak to him about something important, an hour passed and ray was wondering where roy had gone, das also said carl can replace roy, ray wasn't having any of it......ray said to das we should go and look, das then repied "where do we look first" then ray that they could be...............

...miles away already, either now in a tropical paradise or getting qoutation mark transplants for babe...

Das knows though, that Carl can never replace Roy. Who he really ever wanted was always Roy. And now his quest for Roy began...

...Meanwhile, Shivers and Andy get into an argument over spam, and Orca is running around with the rotting remains in her backpack....

...and...um...something...yeah...uh...happend...an d....uh.....

Roy's babe shouts at das "you will never get roy he is mine and I will kill you with my uzi if I have to do hand off man" so then das replies to roy,s babe............

"OMG! SHIVERS TURNED INTO AN EVIL PURPLE TENTACLE! AND ANDY IS A MONSTER TOO!"

Every stared...not at Shivers and Andy but at Das Mole, for his uncharacteristic use of capitals.

So Andy (who had transformed into a blue-eyed priestess with weird abilities named Alia) and Shivers got into another fight, but this time is was all about taking over the world.

DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUM!

"you mean TUM TUM TUUUUUMMMM!!!" throws ray in.
..
"and what about the movie? oh geez.. this all turns out to be like one of those mushroom trips roy is always talking about."

meanwhile roy is talking about a mushroom trip he had a while ago and that he does not know if its over at this point or will go on for some weeks..
das asked "how much have you consumed exactly?" .. but roy was already up counting the buglegs walking up and down on everyones best friend carls wall.

andy remembered her plans and that she will need loads of money to succeed so she is up to search everyones friend carls house for any valueables to take with.

"ay carumba!" was to hear from the bath. pete the millipede has hacked everyones friend carls computer.

rt'babe smiled...

Hey people are we going to the movies or what and stuff the damn millipede, we will miss the film so are we going or not said roy's babe:D

"colors!" roy moaned. "all those colors!"
ray looked around .. "i actually thought we were in b/w?"

"err.." said roy.


..

Meanwhile, Alia and Shiv joined forces and took over the world.

But then roys babe jumps about waving a big knife and goes on a mad killing spree, killing everyone in sight.