Anecdotes for Wall Street social gatherings:

So it was an hour before my wedding, right, and you know how you're not aloud to see the bride before ceremony? Well I figure, what she doesn't know won't kill her. So I duck behind a cabinet in her room and have full view of everything and she doesn't suspect a thing. This is great! Suddenly she starts undressing, right, and the next thing you know, my pants are around my ankles, I'm sweating like Mike Tyson, grunting and saying things like "Ohhhhh yeah, wife, take it off, wife, yeah wife, that's a good wife!" Unfortunatly my plans were cancelled as I'm apprehended by a big Italian gorilla of a man in a suit.

So he drags my over to the missus, and she's all, "OmigodSean, You aren't supposed to see me!"

And as I'm bucklin' my pants, I say, "That's not all I saw, sweet cheeks."


So the next day, spouseless, I'm relaying this story among the company of my good friend Michael Jordon.

He's all, "Yoyo, Sean, dat story ain't nottin' but fool garbage. I was in dat movie Space Jam starrin' Bugs Bunny."

Well, what else am I supposed to say but, "Shutda****up Michael, dat movie sucked Eberts ass like a Meatloaf outta hell. Damn!"

"I see how it is playa'. We ain't tight like we used to be. Count me out. ****dis****."


So go on, punch me in the kidneys.

he's always trying to push Space Jam and underwear, what a dick

The real question is, Is he pushing Boxers or Briefs... or Commando? They never really cleared this up.

Hanes doesn't sell nothing, so that rules out commando

Nobody sells nothing, they give it away for free, you can walk into any store and ask for nothing, and you'll get it without charge.